Lisa and Laura Write

LiLa Quotes of the Week

2012-01-27T06:00:00.002-05:00

"I honestly have no idea how to use a ruler."
- Laura

"I feel like my bangs are like that time when Mom had a mullet and no one had the heart to tell her."
- Lisa

"Um, like two notches past 8?"
-Laura when her husband asked her how long the wallpaper panel measured

"When she wets the bed I feel like it's her way of saying $%*% off."
-Laura on her daughter Lydia wetting the bed every single night

"I promise you, the girl in that car commercial is going places. She's going to be a BIG DEAL. You heard it here first."
-Mike Roecker on a random girl in a car commercial

"Facetime is the devil."
-Laura after fielding hundreds of Facetime calls from Lisa's neglected children

"When we're decrepit, old widows we're going to have the cutest apartment ever."
-Laura

"No Lisa. Lisa go home."
-Stacey's son Will the moment Lisa walked into the Vaughan house

"Braces are medieval."
-Laura on orthodontia

"J'a-freakin'-dore."
-Lisa on Midnight in Paris (God, I love me some Woody Allen)

Just so you know, posting this may or may not result in me losing my parents as overnight babysitters on Saturday. Proof that there is nothing I won't risk for a good blog post. Happy Friday!

The evolution of a smile...

2012-01-26T06:00:00.001-05:00

I am a very emotional person. Always have been. When I cry, I cry hard. When I laugh, I laugh so hard I cry. BUT I create VERY stoic children.

Lydia spent her first 9 or so weeks looking like this:

Big ole blue eyes, flared nostrils, serious, serious stuff.

And now James? He makes us work extra, EXTRA hard for that smile. And just so you know, I've worked extra, EXTRA hard trying to get him to smile. If I put half as much effort into keeping my house clean or writing or exercising or...well, pretty much anything, I'd be a new woman. But who needs any of that stuff when you get that smidgen of a smile that makes everything, EVERYTHING worth it? Exactly.

Here's what I've got so far:

But the reality is, James spends most of his time looking like this:

So, I guess you could say he's emotional after all. Plus, rumor has it I was a terrible baby and my mom always said I had it coming. Sensitive or not, he's worth it. But for Lisa's sake, I hope he decides to hand out a few more smiles. Our writing career depends on it.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2012-01-24T09:40:00.001-05:00

1. Laura had the cutest post ever about baby James and Blogger ate it. (Or I deleted it out of spite because I'm jealous of baby James - you decide.)

2. I'm currently in the middle of a summer camp stand off with my husband. This has resulted in a good old fashioned e-mail fight. Gotta love technology.

3. I find it fascinating that almost every single HGTV show is filmed in Canada. Are Canadians more handy? Do they care more about real estate? I need answers.

4. I'm feeling slightly stressed about whipping up a fabulous dinner for my mother-in-law's birthday this Sunday. I was thinking of making homemade spaghetti or lasagna but that sounds kind of boring. Maybe chicken parmesan? Definitely Italian. Let me know if you have any brilliant ideas.

5. I should be taking a shower, but instead I'm writing this blog post. I'm not sure if you should be honored or appalled.

When Life Gives You Lemons

2012-01-23T06:00:00.001-05:00

It's happened to all of us.

You spend hours, days, weeks preparing for THE EVENT.

You primp and you preen and you rush around making sure everything is absolutely perfect.

And then you wait.

Five minutes go by.

Then twenty.

And before you know you've spent two hours on the couch waiting for someone who is clearly never going to come.

Now that I'm old and married with 3 crazy kids I was under the misguided impression that my days of being stood up were long over.

And then I hosted my first open house.

And no one showed.

And it sucked.

But there's a silver lining. (Isn't there always?)

I get to channel all of this angst into one of our books. Whether it's a huge zit, the perfect song blasting on the radio on a spring day or getting your ass handed to you by the real estate market, every day we get little reminders about what it was like to be 15. Most 32-year-old women probably ignore these adolescent aftershocks, but I'm not most 32-year-old women. One of my favorite shows is MTV's Awkward and I typically have more in common with the nannies at the playground than the moms.

The moral of the story? The next time life gives you lemons, write YA.

Dear Nolan

2012-01-20T11:21:00.002-05:00

Here's a Friday truth for all of you: We still read reviews of The Liar Society.

Yeah, I know it's tacky to admit it in public. Cool authors always say they never read reviews, but clearly our coolness factor was voided long, long ago so this shouldn't really be a shock to anyone who knows us. We normally follow the whole never publically comment on a review deal, because publically commenting on reviews gets authors in big, big trouble. But this review was too awesome to ignore.

From Nolan on Amazon:

A five star review:

excellente, December 4, 2011

This review is from: The Liar Society (Paperback)

i think the title attracted me the most becuase pink hAIR is awesome. the mystery is great and it reminds me of the secret that we as a society keep from others to protect us.

Thank you, Nolan for FINALLY noticing the intricate layers of The Liar Society. It's totally an allegory for the pathetic emptiness of their meaningless consumer driven lives. (Gold star for anyone who can identify the movie from which I borrowed that quote.)

I took a look at the rest of Nolan's reviews and I'm impressed with his/her ability to concisely get right to the heart of whatever it is he/she happens to be reviewing.

On Elizabeth Scott's wrenching LIVING DEAD GIRL:

sad, January 9, 2012

This review is from: Living Dead Girl (Paperback)

i think that this book teaches a lesson that we never know how lucky we are to have loving parents. we should also be aware of our surroundings and be on guard all the time and find someone we can trust no matter what thew situation is.

True that, Nolan. Being aware of your surroundings is ALWAYS a good idea.

On the DVD of the hit movie Stick It:

#1, December 4, 2011

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Stick It (DVD)

this movie is grerat and no scratches so i am excited about that. i recommend buying this movie if its on sale. this really gets you in the mood for exercising

Puts you in the mood for exercising? Sign me up!

So, bottom line: Nolan - You are awesome. Thank you for taking the time to review books/items that you enjoy on Amazon. Even though we avoid commenting on reviews, I can't even begin to tell you how much every single review means to us. Each review has given us something to think about, made us smile or inspired a long conversation between Laura and I making fun of ourselves and our writing. Because in this business the only thing more obnoxious than being nasty to reviewers is taking yourself too seriously.

Happy Friday everyone!

Bookanistas: Austentatious

2012-01-19T06:00:00.005-05:00

A warm welcome goes out to a few new Bookanistas up in here! Don't forget to check out their reviews!

Now, if you're like me and watched the movie Notting Hill more times than you can count in college, read on about AUSTENTATIOUS...

What the back cover has to say:

While browsing in an Austin shop, Nicola James finds a blank vintage journal hidden among a set of Jane Austen novels. Even though Nic is a straight-laced engineer, she's still a sucker for anything Austen-esque. But her enthusiasm turns to disbelief once she starts writing in the journal - because somehow, it's writing her back...Itching for a bit of excitement, Nic decides to follow her "Fairy Jane's" advice. The result: a red-hot romance with a sexy Scottish musician who charms his way into Nic's heart in about five seconds flat. But a guy like Sean doesn't exactly fit into her Life Plan. With no one but Fairy Jane to guide her, Nic must choose between the life she thought she wanted - and the kind of happy ending she never saw coming...

What Lila has to say:

If you've followed our blog for long enough you're aware of our embarrassingly epic failure of a first novel entitled THE NORTH SHORE. And some of you may remember the premise of the book, which was, in our naive opinion, gloriously original and marketable--an update of Pride and Prejudice for young adults! But not just any update, an update that remained steadfastedly true to the original, which loosely translates into boring, boring, BORING. Trashed, unoriginal, unmarketable novel aside, Jane Austen-esque books are still very, very close to our hearts, which is why we fell head over heels in love with AUSTENTATIOUS by Alyssa Goodnight.

Bottom line: if you're going to read an Austen-inspired novel, do yourself a favor and choose this one. First of all, it takes place in one of the best cities ever, Austin, Texas. I absolutely loved Austin when I visited and equally loved imagining myself back there while reading. Such a charming setting. I loved Nicola from page one because she embodies so much of all of us and she's hilarious. Sure, she wants nothing to do with love, but I want nothing but for her to fall in love! It's truly the best combination. I love rooting for my main characters. Finally, I have to thank Alyssa Goodnight for singlehandedly launching me out of my reading rut. I do not have a ton of time these days. And the time I do have is literally spent two inches away from James's face in an effort to get my serious little boy to SMILE. Picking up a book lately sends me straight into that eyes rolling, I-will-not-fall-asleep state, which is kind of the equivalent to torture. But not true for AUSTENTATIOUS. It was pure, much-needed fun with a huge helping of romance, which for my sleep-deprived, post-partum self was so, so appreciated. I absolutely recommend you pick it up. If AUSTENTATIOUS were a movie, Hugh Grant* would play Sean. Enough said.

*Hugh Grant circa Notting Hill and Love Actually

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Christine Fonseca is wild about WOLFSBANE

Stasia Ward Kehoe gives cover love to GETTING SOMEWHERE

Nikki Katz takes a shine to UNDER THE NEVER SKY

Katy Upperman is dazzled by A MILLION SUNS

Shannon Messenger welcomes four wonderful new Bookanistas

Gennifer Albin joins the Bookanistas with a great giveaway

Tracy Banghart is wowed by ON FORTUNE’S WHEEL

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2012-01-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

1. We've seen the cover for The Lies That Bind and all parties are in agreement - it's AWESOME.

2. Kate may or may not be rocking a new hair color.

3. It's taking every ounce of my willpower not to post the fabulous comp from editor Leah.

4. I'm reading a book for actual adults this week and I sort of love it.

5. I cracked the plot for our shiny new idea WIDE OPEN and yet, Laura refuses to return my phone calls.

6. I suspect this guy is driving a wedge between me and my ~~personal slave~~ sister writer.

Laura is screening my calls in favor of spending time with this kid.* I just don't see it. I mean, honestly. The kid cries all the time, barely smiles and has a nasty reputation for being the slowest bottle drinker on the planet. It would be one thing if he was sleeping through the night or doing back flips or something, but THIS is who she ditches me for? Unbelievable.**

*Truthfully, I suspect Laura is screening my calls because she's sick of long conversations filled with deep sighs followed with, "Sooooo...do you really think my house is going to sell? Like soon? I mean, do you thi

nk we even have a chance of getting asking? Should I have priced it lower. I totally priced it too high, didn't I? Laura? Laura? Are you there? Oh really, James is crying? Funny it sounds so quiet over there...."

**Ok fine, baby James is freaking adorable. He's super serious and now he's finally cracking these tiny little smiles and his feet are huge like a labrador. I'd totally ditch my neurotic, HGTV crack whore of a sister for this little puddle of cuteness. Can you believe how much he looks like Laura??? It's both creepy and awesome. I'm still super bitter though.

So....what's your truth this Tuesday? Do YOU think my house is going to sell? Do you have a Magic 8 Ball that will confirm that? No? Crap.

Nerves

2012-01-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

When writers go out on submission they're not really supposed to talk about it. You suffer in silence when your agent sends you the list of amazing your editors your manuscript is going out to. You cry a little when you get your first rejection. And you weep openly when you get your 9th.

And selling a house is a lot like going on submission. I had that same pit in my stomach when I submitted my MLS listing. I cried a little when I got the call to schedule our first showing. I called my husband approximately 5 times to get details on what the people looked like:

Me: So how old do you think they were?

Him: Hard to say.

Me: Did they look like they'd like my crazy decorating?

Him: Well, they weren't wearing yellow.

Me: Crap. Did they seem nice?

Him: Sure, for the two seconds I saw them.

Me: Isn't there anything you can tell me about these people? You've gotta throw me a bone here.

Him: The wife was pretty hot.

Me: .....

So, yeah. I suck at selling a house in exactly the same way I sucked at going out on submission. I'm a little in love with my house the same way I was ~~a little~~ a lot in love with The Liar Society. It's hard sending something you love out into the world and inviting people to judge it, to put a value on it.

And it's even harder when the only response you get is silence.

So, authors and amateur realtors take heart. You're not alone. The pit in your stomach can almost always be quieted by ice cream and the sting of rejection will subside to a dull ache if you drink enough wine. These things have a way of working themselves out. In retrospect there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that The Liar Society found its rightful home at Sourcebooks Fire. Sure, it took 5 months of torture to get there, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm sure things will work out the same way for our little house. The right buyer will show up. Eventually. And in the meantime, I'll be here.

Waiting.

With ice cream. And wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Celebstalking by LiLa

2012-01-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Is anyone really buying this?

Or this? I mean, honestly, I know that the American public often gets a bad rap for being complete dumbasses, but we're not THAT stupid.

Well, at least when it comes to celebs.

Just don't ask me any questions about geography.

Bookanistas: FRACTURE

2012-01-12T06:00:00.001-05:00

Remember this? Well...it's here. Almost. January 17th, people.

What the back cover has to say:

Eleven minutes passed before Delaney Maxwell was pulled from the icy waters of a Maine lake by her best friend Decker Phillips. By then her heart had stopped beating. Her brain had stopped working. She was dead. And yet she somehow defied medical precedent to come back seemingly fine
-despite the scans that showed significant brain damage. Everyone wants Delaney to be all right, but she knows she's far from normal. Pulled by strange sensations she can't control or explain, Delaney finds herself drawn to the dying. Is her altered brain now predicting death, or causing it?

Then Delaney meets Troy Varga, who recently emerged from a coma with similar abilities. At first she's reassured to find someone who understands the strangeness of her new existence, but Delaney soon discovers that Troy's motives aren't quite what she thought. Is their gift a miracle, a freak of nature-or something much more frightening?

What Lila has to say:

Do yourself a favor and pre-order right now. Sure it comes out on Tuesday and of course you'll remember to head to the bookstore to purchase in person, but life gets busy and has that tendency to get in the way and who doesn't want this beautiful, shiny cover waiting patiently on their doorstep after the click of a button. Right? Right. Delaney will suck you right into her story and you'll have to drink up the book in one sitting to figure out what happens next. So prepare yourself. You won't be able to put this one down. So cancel appointments, take rainchecks, clear your calendar. You know you want to.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to:

Christine Fonseca introduces some fabulous reads for 2012

Stasia Ward Kehoe takes a shine to A MILLION SUNS and UNDER THE NEVER SKY

Veronica Rossi adores EVERNEATH

Debra Driza is in a frenzy over LARKSTORM with giveaway!

Katy Upperman sings the praises of BEFORE I DIE

Shannon Messenger delves into DOUBLE with an arc giveaway

DONE!

2012-01-11T06:00:00.001-05:00

Well guys, my epic house staging project is finally complete.

Just a little refresher, here's what my house looked like before:

In retrospect, it was a sad, sad little home. Between my pathetic photography skills and piss poor decorating we weren't exactly open house ready.

But after two months of paint, semi-successful sewing projects and one very long trip to Ikea, we have this:

Editorial note: THAT is my un-mitred mirror project. Not bad, right? My dad's forehead still wrinkles up I mention it.

And, yeah. Stacey's amazing photography skills definitely help. I tried to convince her to start a house staging business, but she wouldn't bite. Guess she'll just have to settle for creating gorgeous, custom stationary for the rich and famous. Sigh.

So...I'm done. And now I guess I'm technically supposed to put my house on the market. Good lord, this feels like going out on sub with a manuscript. TERRIFYING.

Good Enough

2012-01-09T06:00:00.001-05:00

I am not an overachiever. I never have been, never will be. I'm not patient. I hate taking my time. I'm the worst kind of procrastinator because I wait until the very last minute, but when I finally get around to doing something I want results and I want them NOW. Some might call me lazy, but I prefer to think of myself as efficient.

This particular quirk of mine usually has mixed results. Back in 8th Grade I was supposed to be working on my project for the science fair for an entire semester. My hypothesis involved the impact of acid rain on plants. Much to my father's immense disappointment I ended up doing the entire project one week before the actual science fair. This may or may not have involved me using a safety pin to prick tiny little holes in plant leaves that I had recently purchased from the grocery store. My science teacher must have smelled the stench of bullshit from about a mile away because he gave me a C+. Lucky for me the state judges were quite impressed with my presentation skills and I got an honorable mention from the State of Ohio.

Suck on that Mr. Oster.

Fast forward 20 years and I'm still an instant gratification kind of gal. Lately I've been driving my father insane with my little DIY projects. The thing is, Mike Roecker is Handy (note the capital H). He knows how to hang dry wall, install bathrooms and fix broken furnaces. Unfortunately, doing something with Mike Roecker means no shortcuts. Everything must be done exactly the right way. If you're installing a new light fixture and a wire gets twisted, you will untwist that wire and reinstall the entire fixture and get it right even if that means you can't feel your hands at the end of the project. That's just how Mike Roecker rolls.

So, you can imagine the look on my dad's face when he got wind of the fact that I was planning on framing my bathroom mirror with crown molding. He started throwing around words like "mitre saw" and "math" and I just nodded along like I was in complete agreement with his super complex plan that involved tape measures and special saws and a lot of work. And then I went home and slapped up that crown molding using some glue I bought at Lowes. No mitre saws or fractions necessary. A little glue, some hammering and voila - an upgraded mirror.

It's definitely not perfect. I'm sure it would look way better if my dad helped. But it's done. And there's something to be said for done. Sometimes I think we procrastinate on stuff because we're trying so hard to be perfect, to do it right. How many of you are sitting on half finished manuscripts because you just couldn't find the perfect word to end chapter 5?

Today I'm here to tell you that sometimes it's ok to half ass it. After all, you can't publish 5 perfect chapters and that crown molding isn't going to hang itself. Even with a mitre saw.

P.S.
Dad, If you're reading this, I take full responsibility for all those wrinkles in your forehead. Also, please don't ever go in my upstairs bathroom. I think my un-mitred mirror would probably give you an anxiety attack. However, there's a distinct possibility that I'm going to wake up in the morning to find 4 pieces of molding littering my bathroom floor, so, um, just pencil in dinner at my house Tuesday night. And plan on bringing your mitre saw. You know, just to be safe. Love you.

Celebstalking by LiLa

2012-01-06T06:00:00.000-05:00

I've scoured through over 200 celeb photos on US Weekly, but there's only one thing worth reporting this week.

Suri Cruise and I have matching jackets. Only mine is faux and hers is probably made from the same special breed of mink that Tom Cruise uses for his hair plugs. Is it horrible that I'm sort of hoping that someone from PETA throws read paint on her?

Don't answer that.

Happy Friday!

The Bookanistas: SHATTER ME

2012-01-05T06:00:00.003-05:00

You have no idea how good it feels to write this post. Almost as good as it felt when SHATTER ME arrived on my doorstep. So. Good.

I'm also showered, the house is quiet, I went back to the gym for the first time yesterday and I got four hours of uninterrupted sleep last night. Hey, it's better than three. But now...on to SHATTER ME.

What the back cover has to say:

"You can't touch me," I whisper.

I'm lying, is what I don't tell him.

He can touch me, is what I'll never tell him.

But things happen when people touch me.

Strange things.

Bad things.

No one knows why Juliette's touch is fatal, but The Reestablishment has plans for her. Plans to use her as a weapon.

But Juliette has plans of her own.

After a lifetime without freedom, she's finally discovering a strength to fight back for the very first time—and to find a future with the one boy she thought she'd lost forever.

What Lila has to say:
It's no secret that we're a bunch of suckers for a girl power book. You can thank The Regulator. We were raised on quotes from the book MEN ARE JUST DESSERTS. Anyway, Tahereh nails Juliette. From the first line to the last, you're cheering for this broken girl and all you want is for her to WIN. And how cool is the format? Striking out Juliette's inner monologue is maybe the smartest thing ever. But if you know Tahereh or have read her blog, you shouldn't be surprised. She plays around with formatting in unique and interesting ways that adds even more depth to Juliett's narrative. But even though Juliette kicks ass, Tahereh doesn't forget about the importance of a good old fashioned love story. Oh the tension! I spent the majority of the book flying through words to relieve the tension only to go back and savor them and start the whole process over again. It was really well done.

But possibly the best part about SHATTER ME is that good things are happening to a good person. Tahereh is one of the best and we couldn't be happier for her. An incredible debut.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson offers musings on her Bookanista moments

Jessi Kirby savors HOW TO SAVE A LIFE

Stasia Ward Kehoe delights in FIVE FLAVORS OF DUMB

Nikki Katz is crazy for ASHFALL

Debra Driza adores ANGEL FALL

Shelli Johannes-Wells celebrates January Bookanista books--plus a DISCOVERY OF WITCHES giveaway

It feels good to be back. At least today! I make no promises...

It takes a real man...

2012-01-04T08:49:00.000-05:00

To go PINK...

This is my adorable brother-in-law with what's clearly the best beach read ever. Somehow I don't think it's a coincidence that this picture was taken in a private villa.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2012-01-03T06:00:00.001-05:00

1. I singlehandedly talked Laura and the Regulator into taking a road trip to the Ikea in Pittsburgh so I could buy some new toy storage shelves for our basement. We drove there in the middle of a whiteout and returned with a car stuffed with plants and a sofa table. As of 11:19 PM, neither of our husbands are speaking to us. This has nothing to do with our poor judgement in purchases, but rather the driving through the snowpocolypse for Swedish houseplants.

2. After cleaning out the basement in preparation for shelves that I inexplicably decided not to purchase, I had a ton of toys and baby gear to give away. Laura talked me into driving it to a children's resale shop near her house. The first haul went great and ended with a big, fat $150 check. I had to take the second haul to a different store and after driving over an hour and unloading an absurd amount of baby gear, the teenager at the counter told me that all of my stuff was complete crap and they had no use for anything except a toy tool bench and a princess water color set. She handed me $7.10 in cash and told me that I needed to start taking all of the unwanted items back to my car. I pocketed the money, asked her if I could pull the car around and then peeled out of the parking lot. There was no way in hell I was loading all that crap back into my trunk. Came home to a message that they were going to give everything to charity unless I came back to pick it up. Be my guest judgy cashier. Be my guest.

3. I have an enormous crush on The Property Brothers.

4. I'm going to cry if the snowpocolypse results in school being cancelled tomorrow.

5. I purchased (and used) nasal spray from The Dollar General. I'm pretty sure the chemicals are going to eat away my septum and I'll wake up with one large nasal cavity tomorrow morning.

6. I only read one book over my Christmas vacation. Huge, giant FAIL.

7. This is the first time I've turned on my computer since December 20th.

8. Ken got an iPad for Christmas and I have stolen it for my own nefarious uses. Pinterest on an iPad = crack laced with heroin.

9. I purchased a faux fur coat that I like to think of as my Miss Havisham jacket. At first I wasn't going to buy it, but Laura convinced me that I could wear it with yoga pants. It sheds a little, but it's warm and it makes me feel like a well-fed Rachel Zoe.

10. I missed you guys on my internet hiatus, but it feels good to be back! XOXO

The Anatomy of a Christmas Card

2011-12-23T06:00:00.001-05:00

Full disclosure: I HATE CHRISTMAS CARDS.

Yes, I know my amazingly talented sister creates gorgeous custom creations for me every single year. Yes, I know most people love sending and receiving cards every year.

But I am not most people.

And I suck at Christmas cards.

And yet, my husband LOVES them. He hangs every single card lovingly on our fridge and yells at me when I try to sneak cards from people I don't like in the trash.

I've been thinking a lot about my hatred of Christmas cards and I think it has to do with my innate laziness and complete lack of organization skills. I am HORRIBLE about keeping track of addresses and it drives my amazingly talented sister who prints all of my envelopes CRAZY. She seriously hates me and I don't blame her one single bit. Last year I sent her a list of 23 people and she had to add 40 additional names for me. I think I even forgot my parents.

But the single worst thing about Christmas cards is trying to get a semi-usable picture of my children. It's a NIGHTMARE.

So naturally I made Stacey take a bunch of pictures of my kids only to get this text the next day:

"I have no idea how it's possible for one little girl to have so many different awkward expressions."

Yes, that's right. Mia has inherited the anti-photogenic gene directly from The Regulator and The Regulator-in-Training (aka me). Ah, Mia. Your future is full of double chins, horrible profile shots and moments captured while you're stuffing cake in your mouth.

You're welcome.

So, the concept for photo shoot #2 was simple. Put the kids in embarrassing Christmas pajamas and cobble together a decent picture.

This isn't going to be easy. Mia is already doing shifty things with her eyes.

Mia looks cute so that means Jack has to give the camera a good old fashioned sideways glance. Or maybe he's just coming to the staggering realization that he's WAY too old for footie pajamas. Anyone care to take bets on how much therapy this little photo shoot is going to result in?

And we're back with Mia looking like she's angry and constipated.

Ken gets involved in the fun and immediately gives up because I scream at him for distracting the kids.

Ben refuses to sit still. Ah, Mia, I feel your pain.

And we're channelling Maculay Culkin.

Cutest picture ever, sadly Ben is kind of an afterthought.

Wonky eyed Ben and exhausted Mia. Now we're cooking with gas!

Yet another exasperated Mia shot. In her defense, I'm pretty sure Ken was saying something like, "Mia you're ruining the Christmas card. SMILE!" Poor kid.

And now we've moved to downright angry. Totally understandable given all of Ken's heckling.

Ben is eating a candy cane and putting his sticky fingers in Mia's hair. Nice.

Finally get a decent shot of Jack and Mia and cut off Ben's head. I'm guessing the fact that it took me 96 pictures to get one usable shot for a Christmas card has way more to do with my photography skills (or lack thereof) as opposed to my children's inherent inability to take a decent picture.

And somehow, the master managed to take all of that and create this:

I think it does a good job of capturing the day-to-day chaos of our existence. And it definitely helps that my sister is a genius. Thank God for Stacey and Happy Holidays!!!

What I've learned the second time around...

2011-12-22T06:00:00.003-05:00

It's been 3 1/2 years since we've had a newborn in the house. Not a huge amount of time, but enough to re-learn a few things.

Big sisters take their role very seriously. Well, some do. Lydia is one of them. It's super-cute.
Big sisters who take their role very seriously spend approximately 99% of their awake hours approximately 1 inch away from baby's face. It's kind of annoying.
How long does it take for said big sister's barking cough to be transferred to 4 week old? 2 days. Licking a newborn's face = bad idea.
James is a pokey eater and can give or take food. Lydia survived on very little food for a large portion of her early days. Lisa says I produce children who could survive the Apocalypse.
The 3 AM pokey feeds are semi-exhausting. But then again the house is quiet, the room is dark and I get to rock my little man while he stares at me like I'm the best thing in the whole wide world. It's hard to complain.
Someone asked me at 9 months pregnant if I was afraid I wouldn't love my second as much as I love my first. I looked at them like they were crazy. It never occurred to me. Now I know for sure that there is plenty of love to go around. Maybe just a tad bit less while Lydia licks James's face or James spits out his pacifier like it burns.
I'm waiting for that "my family is complete" feeling Lisa promised me I'd get when I looked at my new (and eventually final) addition. Haven't had it yet. I love newborns. I love the possibility and the promise and the hope that comes when you glance into the bassinet at the hospital and admire what you've created. And I can't imagine not doing it all over again. I'll get back to you when he's two.

Oh...and most importantly, I've learned that Thursday comes really, really quickly and reading a book right now is virtually impossible. I did finish HOW TO SAVE A LIFE though so be proud of me. It was incredible, by the way.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-12-20T08:35:00.000-05:00

1. I was up until 1:30 AM last night finishing up some actual work for my actual day job. Bet you forgot I even had one of those, didn't you?

2. It took me 20 minutes to muster up the energy to remove myself from my bed.

3. Today was supposed to be my first day of vacation, but someone scheduled a meeting at 11:30.

4. So, like any good employee, I'll take an hour out of my vacay for one last meeting.

5. But first, I'm crawling right back into bed for a long, long morning nap.

What's your truth this Tuesday?

December 19th

2011-12-19T06:00:00.001-05:00

December 19th is never an easy day for me. 8 years ago today we lost someone who was very close to us. It's not something we're ever going to get over. It's not something we're ever going to understand.

But as time goes on I'm learning that loss is part of life. Things happen that you don't think you'll be able to survive. There will be days you don't want to get out of bed. Days you think your marriage is over. Days you would do anything to turn back time and go back to the before.

But eventually there are incredible days in the after. Days that ring with your husband's laughter. Days that smell of new babies and beginnings. Days that remind you that however scary and sad life gets, there are still so many reasons to smile.

Life is never perfect. Not in the before. Not in the after. But we have to live in the now. And sometimes the now is kind of amazing.

Tell The Truth Tuesday - The Home Edition

2011-12-12T23:44:00.000-05:00

I'm back! Kind of....

Right now my life is like one long episode of Trading Spaces, only instead of the ever chirpy Paige Davis annoying the shit out of me, I have three children, a job and enough publishing drama to fuel at least 10 chapters in our tell-all publishing memoir that will drop Spring 2060.

In case you're curious here's what I've been up to:

I made this chalk board wall calendar for the kitchen.

Cute, right? Also helps me keep tabs on the increasingly crazy holiday schedule.

Cute, right? Also helps me keep tabs on the increasingly crazy holiday schedule.

Sadly, there is a rather sinister truth to go along with this little DIY project. Laura brought James over to help me hang it. James was sleeping soundly in his infant seat in the dining room while I was pounding nails into the wall in the kitchen. A picture on the other side of the wall went hurtling toward the ground and missed James by at least a foot. Ok, maybe it was more like a few inches. But he slept through the whole thing, so I feel confident I haven't scarred him for life. Yet.

Next I tackled the back room. The people who lived here before us used this room as their family room. We've always used it as a play room/office/room that mostly remains empty and useless.

Here's what it looked like:

Feel free to judge this sad little room. It really was kind of awful. You can't really tell from this picture, but there was nothing hanging on the halls. No desk. Just some random toys and a couch.

Here's the after. I dragged a sofa table into the room to create a little desk and painted the entire room a bright, blue-ish green. My plan is to move the cedar chest into the family room and add some white Ikea bookshelves for toys and games, so it will look like a full wall of built-ins.

My proudest project to date are the cornices that I made myself using foam board, Waverly Modern Essentials fabric and a prayer. Honestly, I was shocked when I woke up the next morning and they were all still hanging from the windows.

True story: I had to call my dad to figure out how to get the cap off the staple gun. There was no cap. Let's just say it's a good thing they have a safety feature on those bad boys otherwise I'd have approximately 5 staples in my left cornea.

I'm in the process of recovering my dining room chairs with this fabric. It's a Dwell Studio outdoor canvas that was 50% off at Joann Fabrics. Super cute, bright and even better, stains will wipe right off.

I staged the bookshelves with color coordinated vintage books. (Thank you Laura for letting me borrow from her collection!)

You can't really tell in this picture, but I spray painted coffee beans silver and put them in bud vases to act as book ends. I also spray painted a couple of cardboard L's and threw them next to the books.

Ken gave me a framed Liar Society cover flat for my birthday, so I paired it with two of my favorite pages from the book on either side.

And now for my real truth this Tuesday....

THIS is what my couch looks like.

Yes. That is clean laundry that I've completely neglected to fold because I've been slightly distracted by my redecorating efforts.

On the plus side, at least it's clean!

Ok...now that I've completely bared my soul, you better leave me some juicy truths in the comments.

Bookanistas: FAIL

2011-12-08T06:00:00.001-05:00

No, FAIL is not the title of a must-have new young adult novel. FAIL describes my bookanista posts as of late. I had plans, people, PLANS.

"I'm going to schedule a bunch of bookanista posts ahead of time. Leave the worrying to me!"

Um...yeah. I wrote one, incomplete post last week and forgot to a. complete it and b. schedule it.

I have four books stationed around my house that I'm really enjoying if it weren't for my heavy eyes and the mini-alarm clock that sounds approximately three times in the middle of the night. Luckily he's pretty cute.

I promise to get back on track ~~next week~~, ~~soon~~, ~~eventually~~, some day. Poor, poor Lisa.

Does this help any?

At least one of us is getting some sleep.

Tell the Truth Tuesday

2011-12-06T06:00:00.007-05:00

1. I have 5 minutes to write this post because it's almost 1 AM and in spite of the cup of coffee I downed 45 minutes ago, I'm TIRED.

2. I'm helping Stacey out assembling her GORGEOUS Christmas cards and she scares the crap out of me. She's such a perfectionist that I'm taking like 10 minutes pasting a picture onto a card because I'm scared it won't be straight and she'll be mad that it's not straight and instead of telling me she'll just re do all of the cards and lose all this money and Poochie Prints will go under and it will be ALL MY FAULT.

Whoa. Did I mention I get a little dramatic when I'm tired? Because I totally do. (Truth #3).

(P.S. Holy crap her holiday cards are AMAZING. And even better there's still time to order your own custom cards. Just think I might be the one pasting your pictures! Or not. You can totally request that I don't have anything to do with the construction of your cards. I'd understand completely.)

4. I haven't folded laundry in almost 2 weeks. I'm in house staging mode, we live out of laundry baskets these days.

5. I think it's really weird that Justin Bieber is hawking perfume for girls. Me = confused. Yet another sign I'm getting old.

OK, you know the drill. Spill your guts in the comments while I collapse, semi-caffeinated into bed.

What I've Been Up To: The Kitchen

2011-12-05T06:00:00.005-05:00

OK, so I've written about a million insightful blog posts about how staging a house is almost exactly like writing a book and submitting it to agents and editors, but I'm too high on paint fumes to put my thoughts together.

Instead a preview of what I've been up to the past week:

Here's what my kitchen has looked like for the past 6 years:

Not a bad kitchen, but the red was definitely a little dated and probably made the space look smaller than it already is.

Here's the after: (Forgive my craptastic photography. That noise you hear is Stacey weeping.)

Stacey helped me pick a light neutral grey color for the walls which I LOVE. I used Behr paint and did it myself because my husband thinks all of this house staging business is complete nonsense, so I'm on a strict budget.

For the curtains I bought a Dwell Studio shower curtain from Target ($27) and cut it in half. I hung it on the existing curtain rod using shower hooks. I loved the colors and the linen lets tons of light in.

Instead of curtain hooks (or whatever the hell they're called) I bought two spoons at Target for $1.99 and bent them. We had Yavuz (the best handy man on the planet) over to fix a broken window and he drilled holes in the spoons and mounted them for me free of charge!

I'm stealing a lot of these ideas from Pinterest. Click here to follow my board. I'll post more pictures as I finish staging the dining room and complete some wall art for the kitchen.

Lucky (or not so lucky) for you guys, there will be a lot more where these came from because I'm tackling the living room and family room this week!

Happy Friday!

2011-12-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

This made me laugh so hard that I peed a little. I'm only slightly ashamed to admit that I didn't realize this was a doctored spoof until the porcupine clip showed up.

Of course, there's a small chance this isn't really funny at all and I'm still high on paint fumes.

Either way, HAPPY FRIDAY!

The Bookanistas: How to Save a Life

2011-12-01T15:52:00.000-05:00

On my quest to find the perfect book to pack in my hospital bag, I remembered seeing a copy of Sara Zarr's newest gem HOW TO SAVE A LIFE. After reading the cover copy, there was absolutely no way I was passing it by. Check it out.
What the back cover has to say:

Jill MacSweeny just wishes everything could go back to normal. But ever since her dad died, she's been isolating herself from her boyfriend, her best friends—everyone who wants to support her. And when her mom decides to adopt a baby, it feels like she's somehow trying to replace a lost family member with a new one.

Mandy Kalinowski understands what it's like to grow up unwanted—to be raised by a mother who never intended to have a child. So when Mandy becomes pregnant, one thing she's sure of is that she wants a better life for her baby. It's harder to be sure of herself. Will she ever find someone to care for her, too?

As their worlds change around them, Jill and Mandy must learn to both let go and hold on, and that nothing is as easy—or as difficult—as it seems.

What Lila has to say:

Okay, full disclosure...I had no idea today was Thursday. I also had every intention of finishing this book. In fact, I had this particular post ALL ready to go, spot left open for my impending review. But then I fell into a half-sleep state some time around last Wednesday and haven't completely woken up. BUT, I will say, the first thing I will do when I do wake up is finish this book. It is good. Like, good good. And not because it involves a pregnant girl--I'm not pregnant anymore!--but because Sara Zarr has officially grabbed me with those first few chapters and cannot possibly let go.

Fortunately (or unfortunately depending upon how you look at it and if you really care about these reviews, which I'm not sure anyone does), this little guy has grabbed me too. He's currently being held by The Regulator giving me the chance to actually open up my computer.

But, if you know what's good for you, you'll order the book for yourself. I cannot wait to work out what's actually going on. It's fascinating.

The Bookanistas: How to Save a Life

2011-12-01T06:00:00.001-05:00

Hmm...well, here's what I know about HOW TO SAVE A LIFE. It has about a bazillion starred reviews. Laura is currently reading (and loving it) and considering she nodded off in the middle of our conversation yesterday the fact that she can stay awake long enough to get through more than a paragraph is worth more than any fancy schmancy starred review.

The other thing I know about HOW TO SAVE A LIFE was that Laura was supposed to write a Bookanista review about the book today. But she's probably a sleep in a pile of diapers or something equally new-momish. So, um, INSERT LOTS OF GLOWING, WELL-WRITTEN OBSERVATIONS ABOUT HOW TO SAVE A LIFE HERE.

I can't wait to read this book as soon as my paint fumes contact buzz subsides. If you're looking for some real book reviews, be sure to check out what the rest of the Bookanistas are up to today.

Shannon Messenger raves about CINDER--with an ARC Giveaway!

Megan Miranda spreads the love for UNTRACEABLE

Corrine Jackson falls for UNDER THE NEVER SKY

Stasia Ward Kehoe celebrates MY VERY UNFAIRY TALE LIFE

Debra Driza sings the praises of EVERYBODY SEES THE ANTS

Katy Upperman gets swept away by THE SCORPIO RACES

Things I Learned While Painting My Kitchen

2011-11-30T12:33:00.001-05:00

1. If you call Stacey more than once a day she starts screening your calls.

2. You really can get a contact buzz from paint fumes.

3. The aforementioned buzz is not a fun buzz but more of a mind bending, dizzying, groggy type situation that leads to you painting entire walls the wrong color.

4. Centrifugal force is not your friend when using a paint roller.*

5. The Regulator does not like hearing about me doing things half-assed. For example:

Me: Hi Mom.
The Regulator: You've called me like 5 times today.
Me: I know. Laura just had a baby and Stacey isn't picking up. You're the only one who never screens my calls.
The Regulator: Real nice, Lisa.
Me: I'm a terrible painter.
The Regulator: You're already painting? What room did you start with?
Me: The kitchen.
The Regulator: I thought you liked the red. (Translation: I've always hated that color, thank GOD you're finally doing something about it.)
Me: Yeah, it's just sort of dated.
The Regulator: I hope you're not cutting corners.
Me: I'm cutting every corner possible.
The Regulator: *Deep, tortured, sigh that roughly translates to this: Why God, WHY did I birth such a lazy, worthless daughter who can't even be bothered to properly slap up a coat of paint on her hopelessly out of date home?!?*
Me: Awesome. Talk to you later.

Tonight I'm painting the dining room. Pray for me.

*Per Josin L. McQuein: You have incited the wrath of my inner science geek. It's CENTRIPETAL force. "Centrifugal force" doesn't actually exist the way most people think.

Thanks Josin! I'd like to blame the paint fumes, but the truth is I just suck at science. Thank God we have smart blog readers.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-11-29T06:00:00.004-05:00

1. I've done almost all of my Christmas shopping online. And by all, I mean buying toys for the kids. I'm officially the worst Christmas shopper EVER.

2. My laundry room has been de-hoarded. I'd post pictures, but I'm WAY too embarrassed by the "before."

3. I'm adding real estate agent to my resume. That's right. I'm going to sell this house my own damn self. This has disaster written all over it.

4. As much as I love James, I'm not pleased with how time consuming his day-to-day care has become for Laura. Stacey almost always screens my calls and The Regulator, while well versed in publishing gossip, can't really be relied on for fashion advice.

5. I was slightly bitter when Dan Humphrey created a faux fan account on Twitter and had over 1,000 followers in less than 24 hours on last night's Gossip Girl.* It took us a really long time to get that many followers. Stupid fictional Dan Humphrey just gliding his way through publishing. Bastard. What's next a blog for Serena? Oh that's right, they did that already and her blog is the toast of NYC. Naturally. Damn you, CW.

*It occurs to me that the fact that I still watch Gossip Girl is actually a truth unto itself. I seriously think I'm the only person over 13 who still watches this crap. Judge me if you must.

So. Thankful.

2011-11-23T21:59:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving came early for the Roeckers this year.

At 10:10 AM November 22nd to be exact.

James Michael weighed in at 6 pounds 13 oz and he's gorgeous. And Laura is ~~high on percocet~~ absolutely glowing. Best Thanksgiving EVER.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-11-22T06:00:00.000-05:00

1. I got bangs hoping to look like this:

Instead I look like this:

My hair officially clashes with my face. It also doesn't help that Laura told me I look "fancy." What does that even mean? Nothing good.

2. My neck/shoulder injury is feeling much better. But I think I'll probably still take a muscle relaxer tonight. You know, just in case.

3. We sent the first chunk of a totally new manuscript to our agent and we're terrified. Well, actually I'm terrified and Laura is in this really weird, about to have a baby zen stage.

4. I am beyond excited to meet my new nephew tomorrow! Stay tuned for pictures as Roecker watch 2011 continues.

5. I've refreshed my email 29 times while writing this blog post. Yeah. So much for relaxing over the holidays....

What's your truth this Tuesday? Spill it.

It's Gonna Be a Piece of Cake

2011-11-18T06:00:00.001-05:00

On Tuesday I thought it would be a good idea to do some kickboxing in spite of a sore neck.

I was wrong.

Oh so, terribly, horribly wrong.

On Wednesday morning I could barely move. I had to call my husband to come home from work because I couldn't lift poor little Ben out of the crib. I went to a chiropractor who caused more pain (and lots of cracking) and then finally this morning I went to the urgent care to score some drugs.

The doc prescribed a hefty dose of Motrin and a muscle relaxer. I'll admit that I started giggling a little when he asked me if I'd ever taken a muscle relaxer before because every John Hughes fan knows that THIS is what happens when you take muscle relaxers:

Sadly my reaction involved a lot less giggling and a lot more passing out on my couch for 3 hours while Ken fed and bathed the kiddos for me. Honestly, I think I like my version better.

Have a great weekend everyone!

The Bookanistas: My Maternity "Vacation" Reading List

2011-11-17T00:09:00.000-05:00

First and foremost, we're 2 chapters away from maternity leave!!!! HOORAH! And THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS is at the very top of my list. I'm not a huge fan of fantasy, but there's just something about this concept that calls to me. I love that there's an unexpected heroine and the setting sounds extraordinary.

What's on your reading list this holiday season? Anything good?

Be sure to check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week!

Another $%*&^$@ Idea

2011-11-16T06:00:00.001-05:00

So remember my master plan about doing absolutely nothing while Laura is doing new Mama duty for the next few months?

It sounded totally blissful, right? I was going to read books, watch amazing movies and do some serious house renovations in preparation for putting this bad boy up on the market. It was going to be ah-mazing.

And then I had this dream.

About a manuscript that we shelved two years ago.

A manuscript I might have finally figured out how to fix.

Hold me.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-11-15T06:00:00.001-05:00

1. I don't care what all the haters say, The Hunger Games trailer rocked my socks off. This movie is going to be EPIC. So epic that I have big plans to talk The Regulator, Dad Roecker and Laura into a midnight screening event of some sort. If you're wondering why the 3rd Roecker sister isn't invited it's because she has a strict rule against movies with battle scenes.

2. I saw this link on Twitter about cats giving you incentive to write. I'm not gonna lie. I sat at in front of my computer and wrote "What the $%&* is this?" 20 times to see what would happen. Suffice it to say that I was extraordinarily unimpressed with the outcome.

3. I watch Pan Am. And oh my good God you guys, it is 31 flavors of AWFUL. By far the most ludicrious show on television and yet it makes the perfect background for day job writing. And so on my DVR it shall remain.

4. I'm a floor-o-rexic. That's right. I use clean kitchen floors as a means to maintain control of my life. Laura just diagnosed me with this terrible disease last night when I confessed to her that I've been washing my kitchen floor on my hands and knees almost every single night. Bear in mind, the room directly next to my kitchen looks like a hoarders paradise of clean, yet unfolded clothes, backpacks and approximately 300 pairs of shoes. I have no idea why the kitchen floor is so important to me, but there is nothing that makes my blood boil like watching Mia bite into a graham cracker. I get chills just thinking about it.

5. I have yet to purchase a single Christmas present. I'm in holidenial. (See what I did right there? I'm the queen of word mash-ups this week.)

6. While Laura is on her maternity leave I plan on doing nothing but reading for 6 weeks straight. It is going to be AWESOME. So many books. So much slacking. I can't hardly wait.

OK, spill your guts. What's your truth this Tuesday?

The Unborn Deadline

2011-11-14T06:00:00.002-05:00

Laura is due to pop. Literally POP. Any day now. And I'm completely terrified.

Sure, you might say that since I'm not the one actually delivering a child, I should be sitting back, sipping Diet Coke through a Twizzler straw and dreaming of holding my new nephew. But instead I'm sitting in front of my computer with burning eyes and a pit in my stomach.

We have 9 days.

9 days left to finish the first 10 chapters of a manuscript that absolutely has to be finished before Laura has the baby.

9 days left to sit on the phone for 3 hours discussing the rise and fall of our Amazon rank.

9 days left to engage in endless Skype conversations speculating on what the cover for The Lies That Bind might look like.

9 days left to send Laura links to my Pinterest boards to get real time feedback on paint colors for my massive house staging project.

So...yeah. 9 days before our lives change forever and a new little Roecker enters the world.

I can't wait.

Celebstalking with LiLa (the afternoon edition)

2011-11-11T12:42:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah, I'm late. But there are probably only two people who really care:

1. Kim Johnson from the Regulator's office. She is probably our single most loyal blog lurker. (Hi Kim! Hopefully you'll be able to see this on your lunch break. We still never had a chance to discuss my hatred of John Travolta, but hopefully soon!)

2. Matthew MacNish the only person who is awake early enough to almost always score first comment. Sorry Matt. Hope you're having a great weekend. Maybe you should spend it polishing your super awesome manuscript that agents are already salivating over? You rock.

Moving on....

Isn't it strange that Kate Bosworth and Rachel Bilson kind of have the same face? Also I really, really want whatever lipstick they're wearing. It's so pretty and natural.

This picture explains so much about Kanye West. I mean, clearly he is rocking some MAJOR Little Man Syndrome. If only someone had alerted the media that he's roughly 5'3 before that whole VMA debacle, MTV could have saved Taylor Swift a whole lot of heartache and arranged for Jay Z to tuck him safely into his pocket for the evening.

Is it just me or is Ashley Simpson LOVING the fact that J. Simp is all swollen and pregnant? I have this theory that Ashley is behind every single one of Jessica's problems including but not limited to:

- Her complete lack of style ("OMG Jess, those high waisted jeans are SUPER flattering. Your ass looks amazing!"
- Daisy getting eaten by a coyote ("Look Daisy! A friendly dog has come over to play with you. Why don't you take this piece of raw meat over there to share with him....FETCH!"
- Her new reality show ("Oxygen is totally the new MTV and look at all the amazing things Newlyweds did for you and Nick!"

This is a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.

Ah Gwynnie. Love the dress. I'll admit it. You've got flair. But was it really necessary to post a picture of the donuts Mario Batali made for your kids in your GOOP holiday guide? I mean, honestly. It's not like they're for sale and name dropping is (theoretically) beneath you.

Yup. Jessica Alba popped out a baby like half an hour ago and now she looks like this. I think I might actually hate her more than Gwyneth. I'll go eat another fun sized Snickers and mull it over.

Bookanistas: VIRTUOSITY

2011-11-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

There is absolutely nothing like a stunning book cover. Especially a book cover for young people. Take a moment and consider walking away from this cover. It's just not gonna happen. I don't care what kind of book you're in the store searching for, if this were to catch your eye, you would pick it up, read the back and buy. Right? Right. The black and pink and hair flipping goodness. It just doesn't get any better. Well, until you actually read the book.

What the back cover has to say: Now is not the time for Carmen to fall in love. And Jeremy is hands-down the wrong guy for her to fall for. He is infuriating, arrogant, and the only person who can stand in the way of Carmen getting the one thing she wants most: to win the prestigious Guarneri competition. Carmen's whole life is violin, and until she met Jeremy, her whole focus was winning. But what if Jeremy isn't just hot...what if Jeremy is better?

Carmen knows that kissing Jeremy can't end well, but she just can't stay away. Nobody else understands her--and riles her up--like he does. Still, she can't trust him with her biggest secret: She is so desperate to win she takes anti-anxiety drugs to perform, and what started as an easy fix has become a hungry addiction. Carmen is sick of not feeling anything on stage and even more sick of always doing what she’s told, doing what's expected.

Sometimes, being on top just means you have a long way to fall....

What Lila has to say:
I could not put this book down. Virtuosity was beautifully written and completely engrossing. Stage mothers, raw talent, crazy rich grandparents and romance combine to bring the world of concert violinists fully alive. I loved watching Carmen's awakening from a scared, controlled girl into a self-possessed woman forced to make a life-altering decision. Fans of Simone Elkeles and Sarah Dessen are going to fall head over heels for Jessi Martinez and I predict Virtuosity is going to earn her an army of fan girls.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson gushes about THE GIRL OF FIRE AND THORNS

Shelli Johannes-Wells praises Addison Moore's books

Rosemary Clement-Moore gets all wrapped up in WRAPPED

Jessi Kirby talks VIRTUOSITY

Nikki Katz screams for LEGEND

Katy Upperman sets us all up for BEFORE I FALL

I'm Single and There's an NBA Lock Out

2011-11-08T06:00:00.001-05:00

Not gonna lie, Andy Samberg's ~~Kris~~ Chris Humphries made me pee my pants a little.

Happy Tuesday!

Daylight Savings

2011-11-07T06:00:00.001-05:00

So remember when it was March 13th and we were all supposed to set our clocks ahead an hour for daylight savings time?

Well, I was so bitter about losing an hour of sleep that I refused to set the radio in my car to the correct time.

For the first few weeks, I wanted a daily reminder that I should have still been fast asleep in bed when I was schlepping the kids to school in the morning. And then throughout the summer I just sort of got used to being an hour behind whilst navigating the streets of suburbia. It gave me the illusion of actually being early.

And now, finally my stubborness has paid off. While the rest of you losers were messing around with your car radios, trying to set your clocks back, I was laughing. LAUGHING. Because yesterday, I was right on time and I never even had to touch a button.

Suck on that daylight savings.

Celebstalking by LiLa

2011-11-04T06:00:00.002-04:00

This picture inspired me to get down on my knees and say the Act of Contrition. I may be a lapsed Catholic, but I'm not that lapsed.

Another one bites the dust.

I really, really wish I had some rudimentary photoshop skills to put a big old red X right on Gisele's perfect face. I didn't think I could hate her any more after her assanine stance on childbirth and breastfeeding and then she did this. Maybe Padre Kardashian can perform an exorcism.

Every time I see a picture of Ann Hathaway with a new boyfriend, I get a pit in my stomach. Girlfriend has extraordinarily bad luck with men.

Really, Zach Effron? REALLY?

I was skeptical when SJP tried to convince us that she rolls around in a minivan and this pretty much seals the deal that she's a big fat liar. I mean, that hat and a minivan don't even exist in the same universe. Nice try, SJP. Nice try. Try a sad beret from Target next time and then maybe I'll believe you're rocking out in an Odyssey.

Happy weekend everyone! If you happen to live near Ohio come see us at The Buckeye Book Fair tomorrow. We'll be there with The Regulator and the 3rd Roecker Sister. I don't want to brag, but we're staying in a hotel with a free breakfast buffet and we might swing by the Smucker's factory on our way home. Not gonna lie, those are two things that legitimately get me very excited.

Bookanistas: SIRENZ and WINNER ANNOUNCEMENT!

2011-11-03T06:00:00.008-04:00

First of all, a HUGE congratulations goes out to Rebekkah Ford who is the proud new owner of 3 creepy books in the Past Midnight series by Mara Purnhagen! BUT...do NOT read these books if you are alone at night. You've been warned. Rebekkah, email us your address and we'll pop them in the mail for you ASAP.

Okay, moving right along. Pay attention because the following is extremely important.

Stop what you're doing. Click here and use 1-click to purchase a copy of this book. Better yet, purchase a few copies to give away as holiday presents. You will not regret this decision. Have we ever been wrong before?

Okay, so you already know how we feel about ARE YOU GOING TO KISS ME NOW by Sloane Tanen, well SIRENZ gave us a very similar feeling except it involves MYTHOLOGY! You guys...who doesn't love mythology?! This book is the absolute perfect break from some of the darker, more serious YA we've been reading as of late and takes a completely different take on a story involving Gods and Goddesses.

Here's what the back cover has to say:

Bickering frenemies Meg and Shar are doing some serious damage at a midnight sample sale when the fashionistas find themselves arguing over a pair of shoes-with fatal consequences. One innocent bystander later, the girls are suddenly at the mercy of Hades, Lord of the Underworld himself. To make them atone for what they've done, Hades forces the teens to become special-assignment Sirens, luring to the Underworld an individual whose unholy contract is up.

Finding that delicate balance between their fashion addiction and their new part-time job in the eternal hellfire biz turns out to be harder than Meg and Shar expected, especially when an entire pantheon of Greek deities decides to get involved. Then there's the matter of the fine print in their own contracts...

Lila's Take:

If the Shopaholic Series/Bridget Jones Diary and the Percy Jackson books had a girl baby, her name would be SIRENZ. And yet this book is completely original with absolutely HILARIOUS modern imaginings of immortals. Hades will make you snort. And yet there's so much more to this book than pee-your-pants-one-liners. Meg and Shar swith POVs, which we love, and are dealing with issues beyond answering to Hades and his manipulations so there's a ton of growth throughout the book.

AND...it's entertaining without being inappropriate, dirty or over-the-top. So freaking refreshing. Plus, the perfect gift for ALL girls. How often can you say that?

AND...it's written by TWO authors. Two amazing authors. We get them! They get us! This makes us happy. Very, very happy.

So I hope we've convinced you that you need this book. Because you do. Go. Click. Buy.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson is crazy about Crossed and Shatter Me

Christine Fonseca interviews Kids Inventing! author Susan Casey

Shelli Johannes-Wells dishes on Become (Desolation Book #1)

Beth Revis celebrates books for which she’s grateful – with gigantic signed book giveaway

Jessi Kirby applauds Virtuosity

Megan Miranda marvels at How to Save a Life

Rosemary Clement Moore is wild for The Iron Witch

Veronica Rossi is amazed by Shatter Me

The Dirtiest Word

2011-11-02T06:00:00.001-04:00

Guilt.

You guys, I am wracked with guilt on a daily basis.

Guilt that I'm constantly multitasking. Jack drew a picture of me for school. I had orange hands connected to what looked like a small tombstone. I thought it was Halloween related. But no, it was a computer. I immediately added an extra $100 to Jack's Psychotherapy Fund.

Guilt that I don't have time to read every single amazing book written by every single amazing author that we've interacted with on Twitter.

Guilt that we don't have time to respond to all of your awesome comments on our blog. You should know I respond to every single one IN MY HEAD. Too bad Steve Jobs didn't come up with a mind reading app before he died. Stupid cancer.

Now I feel guilty that I made a glib comment about Steve Jobs and he's dead.

So. Much. Guilt.

The problem is that I'm a mom. I'm a wife. I have friends that aren't on Twitter. I have a day job. And I desperately want to be a successful writer. And all of those jobs leave very little time for all of the stuff listed above. Intellectually I know that it's not a big deal. I'm sure you guys understand when it takes us forever to respond to your emails and you know that even though we try REALLY hard to reply to every single Tweet we get, sometimes we miss stuff.

Even though I know this, I can't stop the guilt. It just keeps coming.

So, how do you guys deal with balancing busy lives and writing and GUILT? Tell me your secrets in the comments. Please? I know I haven't really done much for you lately, but I'm BEGGING. Help a Roecker Sister out.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-11-01T06:00:00.003-04:00

Ok, ok, I'll admit it. I gasped out loud when I heard the news of Kim Kardashian's divorce yesterday.

Gasped.

Audibly.

I'm so embarrassed.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go here. Just make sure you don't take a big swig of Diet Coke before reading, because it's hilarious and Diet Coke really stings when you snarf it. Sadly, I speak from experience.

What's your shameful truth this Tuesday? Bet nothing's worse than mine.

Halloween Costume or Bad Wardrobe Decision - You Be the Judge

2011-10-31T06:00:00.001-04:00

The sisters Roecker have had many Halloween costumes over the years ranging from adorable to abysmal. Sadly, we've had far more questionable fashion decisions than actual costumes. In celebration of Halloween we're going to post a random assortment of pictures and let you decide which were costumes and which were REALLY bad outfits.

Happy Halloween!!!

Celebstalking by LiLa

2011-10-28T06:00:00.003-04:00

I watched Hereafter this week and I have to say the movie only made me love Matt Damon even more. He just seems like a quality individual. I mean, how often do you see A-list celebs hanging with their dad?

Every time Leann Rimes smiles an angel loses it's wings. Or maybe it dies. Yup, that sounds about right. Every time Leann Rimes smiles an angel dies.

On behalf off women across America can I just say, "Aw, HELL no." Seriously George? A pro-wrestler best known for DANCING WITH THE STARS? What has the world come to?

Speaking of the apocalypse, what's that I spy at the end of Blake Lively's long ass legs? UGGS. Suck on that Loretta Nyhan. Uggs are warm and comfortable and the preferred footwear of A-list celebrities everywhere. It just so happens I'm wearing a pair right now. They're grey and hideous and I love them.

Happy Friday!

The Bookanistas: Winner Announcement and PAST MIDNIGHT Series Giveaway!!!!

2011-10-27T06:00:00.002-04:00

It's a big day around these parts. First of all, we are excited to announce the winner of THE WHITE ASSASSIN giveaway from last week. Congratulations Corey Schwartz--you are the proud new owner. Email us your address ASAP and we'll pop it in the mail, lucky girl!

Second of all, it's almost Halloween. Halloween is taken VERY seriously in Laura's household. If you remember from last year, Lydia dressed up as Mickey Mouse and her husband rented a full out Donald Duck costume, tights and all. Well, this year Lydia has chosen to be Rapunzel from Tangled and hubs is taking on Flynn Ryder, her romantic interest, which is wrong on many levels and will embarrass Lydia to no end when she's old enough to understand. Pictures to follow--just know the costume involves some controversial leggings that Laura is rallying to have replaced by khakis. The neighbors will thank her.

In honor of Halloween, we're excited to offer yet another giveaway on the blog, this time with THREE of Mara Purnhagen's SIGNED books from the PAST MIDNIGHT series. Mara is absolutely fabulous and the series is not to be missed (especially around this time of year) so even if you don't win, definitely check them out.

PAST MIDNIGHT:

Let me set the record straight. My name is Charlotte Silver and I'm not one of those paranormal-obsessed freaks you see on TV…no, those would be my parents, who have their own ghost-hunting reality show. And while I'm usually roped into the behind-the-scenes work, it turns out that I haven't gone unnoticed. Something happened on my parents' research trip in Charleston—and now I'm being stalked by some truly frightening other beings. Trying to fit into a new school and keeping my parents' creepy occupation a secret from my friends—and potential boyfriends—is hard enough without having angry spirits whispering in my ear. All I ever wanted was to be normal, but with ghosts of my past and present colliding, now I just want to make it out of high school alive….

ONE HUNDRED CANDLES:

It's taken a long time for me to feel like a normal teenager. But now that I'm settled in a new school, where people know me as more than Charlotte Silver of the infamous Silver family paranormal investigators, it feels like everything is falling into place. And what better way to be normal than to go on a date with a popular football star like Harris Abbott? After all, it's not as if Noah is anything more than a friend….

But my new life takes a disturbing turn when Harris brings me to a party and we play a game called One Hundred Candles. It seems like harmless, ghostly fun. Until spirits unleashed by the game start showing up at school. Now my friends and family are in very real danger, and the door that I've opened into another realm may yield deadly consequences.

BEYOND THE GRAVE:

I can't move forward with my life, until I know my demons are confined to the past…

Being Charlotte Silver, the daughter of famous paranormal investigators, means my life isn't like that of other teenage girls. Especially after what happened to my parents. Things changed. I missed prom and deferred my big college plans. But I still have my boyfriend, Noah. He's everything I could want—if I can figure out what's up with him. Suddenly Noah is secretive.

I fear it has something to do with what happened to us three months ago. The bruise Noah suffered during a paranormal attack has never completely faded. Now I've learned Noah is researching demons. And when he disappears, it's up to me to find him—before something else does.

To win, tell us about any ghost encounters of your own in the comments. GOOD LUCK!

And check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson cheers for Crossed

Christine Fonseca reveals books she cannot wait to read

Beth Revis interviews My Very UnFairytale Life author Anna Staniszewski

Shannon Whitney Messenger interviews Skyship Academy-Pearl Wars author Nick James & agent Jennifer Rofe – with giveaway

Jessi Kirby twirls for Audition

Shana Silver burns for Circle of Fire

Carrie Harris devours Deadly

Stasia Ward Kehoe travels to The Day Before

The Best and Worst Thing About Being a Writer

2011-10-26T06:00:00.000-04:00

Opening up a brand new document and starting a new manuscript is scarier than a Paranormal Activities trailer.

But then you get to type in the brand new, absolutely perfect title of your WIP.

You hit the enter key once.

And type these words:

By Lisa and Laura Roecker

A tiny, little thrill races up the back of your spine and makes you sit a little bit straighter as you type, "Chapter 1."

And so it begins....

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-10-25T06:00:00.001-04:00

1. I just ate 2 caramel apples and I'm still kind of hungry. In my defense, the apples were technically my dinner. Yeah, that's not really a good defense is it?

2. There are Twitter feeds I read for the sole purpose of being annoyed. I realize this makes zero sense.

3. This is the funniest video I've seen IN MY LIFE.

4. Even though I'm in desperate need of yoga pants, I refuse to purchase them from Old Navy lest they think their horrific advertising campaigns are working. So, if you're an Old Navy marketing executive and you happen to stumble upon this blog post, your advertising campaign has successfully PREVENTED me from purchasing your merchandise. Congratulations.

5. Jack got Super Mario Brothers for his Nintendo DS after getting a good report card and I play it sometimes while he's asleep. He thinks I'm a hero because I still remember some of the tricks. Let's chalk this up to mother/son bonding, shall we?

What's your dirty little secret this Tuesday? The jucier the better. Spill your guts in the comments.

Things That Make Me Happy

2011-10-24T06:00:00.005-04:00

1. This book. THIS BOOK. You guys need to read this book.

I started this Friday and did not put it down until I finished it on Saturday. Plot, gorgeous writing, exotic settings, characters who make me long for the next book in the series - Daughter of Smoke and Bone has it all.

2. These boots. And Zappos shoe videos. (AKA Shoe Porn)

All kidding aside, these videos are SUPER helpful when ordering shoes online. And Loretta Nyhan will be pleased to know that I purchased these in black to replace my beloved Uggs and I love them. So much.

3. Pumpkin spice coffee. This is the best birthday present I've ever gotten. EVER. I'm so....alert.

4. Caramel apples. The kids and I spent the day with The Regulator and we made caramel apples. Delicious and fun. This is why I love the Fall.

5. Two amazing manuscripts on my Kindle. Just waiting for me to read them. Bliss.

What's got you happy this lovely Monday morning? Leave a comment and I'll send you a virtual latte.

Celebstalking by LiLa

2011-10-21T06:00:00.006-04:00

Happy Friday!

The White Assassin Blog Tour and GIVEAWAY!!!!

2011-10-20T06:00:00.002-04:00

THE WHITE ASSASSIN
Book II of the Nightshade Chronicles
October 2nd, 2011

We are absolutely honored to help spread the love for Hilary Wagner's latest book, THE WHITE ASSASSIN, book 2 in the Nightshade Chronicles, on the blog today. If you're anything like me, you struggle with gift ideas for those tricky tweens--especially tricky, male tweens. Struggle no more, my friends, struggle no more. This book along with NIGHTSHADE CITY (which is now out in paperback, although it's definitely the kind of classic book you want in hardcover on your shelves) make a fabulous gift that is sure to keep kids entertained for hours.
About the THE WHITE ASSASSIN:

Book II in the Nightshade Chronicles begins three years after Juniper and his rebel band of rats liberate the Catacombs and defeat their oppressors.

A sense of peace has settled over Nightshade City, but it is a false one. Billycan, the white assassin, has been found. Deep in the southern swamps, he now rules a primitive horde of savage swamp rats eager to overrun Nightshade City and claim it for their king. With the help of an ancient colony of bats and an uneasy alliance with the swamp snakes, Juniper and his Council set out to thwart Billycan’s plans. When an old secret is revealed—one so shocking it shakes both Billycan and Juniper to the core—the fate of Nightshade City and the life of Juniper’s only son depend on Juniper’s decision: should he help his mortal enemy? The past resurfaces with devastating impact in this exciting sequel to Nightshade City, a dark tale of intrigue, deception, and betrayal.

Nightshade City, Book I of the Nightshade Chronicles is a CBC Best Book of 2011 and a Crystal Kite finalist.

About the Author:

Hilary Wagner was born and raised in Chicago. She graduated from the University of Kansas with a degree in fine art. Her paintings have appeared in galleries and exhibitions in New York City and in the Chicago area, where she lives with her husband and two children. Her first book, Nightshade City, launched the Nightshade Chronicles and received wide critical acclaim. Nightshade City is a CBC Best Book of 2011 and a Crystal Kite Finalist. Hilary also writes for National Geographic School Publishing and has just finished Goblin Shark Rising, a new adventure novel, set for publication in fall of 2012. You can find Hilary on Twitter and Facebook, and keep up with all her latest news by following her blog.

If you're still not convinced, check out this incredible review from Kirkus. Oh...and Hilary's already racking up five star reviews. And we're not at all surprised. These books are unique, entertaining, well-written and loads of fun. Happy reading!

PS: One lucky commenter will win a copy of THE WHITE ASSASSIN. Good luck!

Check out what the Bookanistas are up to this week:

Christine Fonseca celebrates How to Save a Life

Shana Silver shivers for Shatter Me

Stasia Ward Kehoe applauds Virtuosity

Veronica Rossi is ensnared by Girl of Fire and Thorns

Shelli Johannes-Wells delves into Ditched

SO close....

2011-10-19T06:00:00.000-04:00

Um, you guys, we're ALMOST THERE. Our epic round of edits is almost done. I just sent Laura my final edit to the very last line of THE LIES THAT BIND and now I must go collapse.

Today: We send the document to our fabulous editor and major agent.

Tonight: Fancy b-day dinner with the sisters Roecker to celebrate finishing this beast.

Tomorrow: We'll be back to our normal (highly randomized) blogging style.

HOORAH!!!!

Tell the Truth Tuesday, Belated Birthday Style

2011-10-18T06:00:00.023-04:00

Truth #1: I am the absolute WORST at remembering birthdays (all of my friends know this firsthand). The only person who may rival my complete lack of birthday recollection is Lisa.*

Truth #2: I did not forget Lisa's birthday. I knew it was October 17th, I woke up yesterday preparing to make my annual birthday phone call and did in fact wish my big sister a Happy Birthday on time (as opposed to waiting until 10 PM like I did last year). I just dropped the blog ball.

Truth #3: I am spoiled. Lisa loves the blog. It's her baby. I can turn in every night and sleep easy knowing the blog is taken care of and can request a post here or there when I really have something to say (like on Bookanista days or, I don't know, BIRTHDAYS).

Truth #4: I felt a very real sense of shame when I logged on yesterday morning and realized I hadn't even considered writing a special post for my poor sister's birthday. Lisa deserves a break on her birthday of all days and I failed. Miserably.

Truth #5: In an effort to appease my extreme guilt I looked up my birthday from last year** and realized Lisa had done the same thing. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing I was in good company. Plus, I pulled an all-nighter for her 30th, so that has to count for something three years later, right?

So, without further ado, I'm officially wishing my big sister a happy birthday on the blog like I should have yesterday. I love you Lis and hope you enjoyed your crock pot roast beef birthday dinner. Yum.

*We've decided that anyone who wants to be friends with us needs to know upfront that we will probably forget their birthdays and really any other special day thoughtful people remember. In addition, we will most definitely fail to send cards and if I was a betting woman I would put a lot of money on us forgetting the birthdays of their children as well. We just suck like that. If you are the type of person who cares about listening to multiple happy birthday voicemails each year, we probably can't be friends.

**See that incredible slideshow my best friend pulled together for me for my 30th? Yeah...I forgot hers. See? I am the WORST.

Stages on Pages

2011-10-17T06:00:00.005-04:00

Still in edit hell over here.

[10/14/11 9:54:58 PM] Lisa Roecker: i love this
[10/14/11 9:54:59 PM] Lisa Roecker: The next day between classes, Seth walked toward me a thick booklet of printed pages after twisting his head right and left, to be sure the coast was clear. Of course while he was looking in the opposite direction he ran right into a meaty looking football player who did that shoulder jerk fake-out thing meatheads are so fond of. Seth immediately tucked himself into the fetal position with the mysterious pages tucked beneath his chin. Jock Strap lifted his leg like he was either going to kick Seth while he was down or pee on him like a dog, but before he could make his move I slid between them.
“Anyone ever tell you you’re not supposed to hit girls?”
“He’s not a girl,” Jock Strap growled.
“Wow, athletic and quick on the uptake. You must be a real catch.” I gave him my sweetest smile.
“Yeah right.” Jock Strap laughed and then abruptly stopped laughing after he realized what he said. “I mean, the ladies love me and I’m smart and…God, Lowry, you’re such a bitch.” He turned and walked away.
“Great talking to you, Jacques….Strap.” I whispered the last word so only Seth could here it.
“His name is Jeremy, Kate.” Seth whispered hoarsely from his tiny man cocoon. He sat up and handed me the papers. “It’s all here.” His breath smelled faintly of sour cream and onion potato chips. It was 9:25 AM.

[10/14/11 9:55:07 PM] Lisa Roecker: that scene makes me laugh every time i read it
[10/14/11 9:55:19 PM] Lisa Roecker: a bright spot in an otherwise dismal manuscript
[10/14/11 9:55:23 PM] Lisa Roecker: we'll probably have to cut it
[10/14/11 9:56:06 PM] Laura Roecker: haha--i forgot about that!
[10/14/11 9:56:13 PM] Lisa Roecker: i'm so funny
[10/14/11 9:56:42 PM] Laura Roecker: i wrote it you loser
[10/14/11 9:56:48 PM] Lisa Roecker: Really?
[10/14/11 9:56:50 PM] Lisa Roecker: dammit
[10/14/11 9:56:52 PM] Lisa Roecker: that's funny
[10/14/11 9:56:54 PM] Laura Roecker: HA
[10/14/11 9:56:55 PM] Lisa Roecker: are you sure?
[10/14/11 9:56:57 PM] Laura Roecker: yes!
[10/14/11 9:57:06 PM] Laura Roecker: you added a ton of stuff though
[10/14/11 9:57:07 PM] Lisa Roecker: jacques strap?
[10/14/11 9:57:13 PM] Lisa Roecker: that sounds like something i added
[10/14/11 9:57:15 PM] Laura Roecker: it's MUCH funnier---yes, you added that
[10/14/11 9:57:17 PM] Lisa Roecker: see
[10/14/11 9:57:20 PM] Lisa Roecker: i'm hilarious
[10/14/11 9:57:29 PM] Laura Roecker: yeah yeah

P.S.
Have you guys checked out the Stages on Pages Book Tour??? Holy Awesome. Some of our favorite authors are touring. If you're anywhere even remotely close to one of their stops, you absolutely must go check it out and report back to us!

Day 3/4 of Editing Hell

2011-10-14T06:00:00.000-04:00

[10:30:49 PM] Laura Roecker: so tired
[10:31:10 PM] Laura Roecker: so, so tired
[10:32:38 PM] Lisa Roecker: omg
[10:32:42 PM] Lisa Roecker: me too. i'm falling asleep at my computer
[10:32:50 PM] Lisa Roecker: why did we think this was a good idea again?
[10:32:52 PM] Laura Roecker: my combined total for two days is 13,827
[10:32:57 PM] Laura Roecker: that's why
[10:33:03 PM] Lisa Roecker: i'm at 14,125
[10:34:30 PM] Lisa Roecker: so i guess you're right
[10:34:39 PM] Lisa Roecker: i just can't see straight
[10:34:50 PM] Laura Stropki: yeah and i can't promise i'm changing anything besides commas

We're still ~~going strong~~ walking the track. Who knows, we might even try to jog a lap over the weekend. Where's that finish line again?

Someone better be serving vodka.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to one of our favorite books, AUDITION by Stasia Ward Kehoe

2011-10-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

This is the email I sent to Stasia Ward Kehoe after I finished reading her amazing debut novel, AUDITION:

Oh. My. God. AUDITION is absolutely gorgeous! I have to admit, this is the first novel in verse I've ever read and I wasn't really sure how I'd feel about it going in. I'm not a huge poetry person, but I absolutely loved every single word. I'm in awe of you. Truly. Thank you so much for sharing the book with me. I can't wait to give it to Laura. She's going to LOVE IT!

AUDITION is one of those books you'll devour, but if you're anything like me you'll keep marking pages of passages that you absolutely must go back and re-read. And then you'll have to loan out your dog eared copy to all of your friends because it's one of those books that you finish and then you immediately want everyone else read so you can sit around and obsess over every word.

Day 2 of Editing Hell

2011-10-12T06:00:00.006-04:00

[10/11/11 10:33:03 PM] Lisa Roecker: what's ben's last name again?
[10/11/11 10:34:02 PM] Laura Roecker: cabrera because he reminds me of that d-bag ryan carrera
[10/11/11 10:34:08 PM] Lisa Roecker: i feel like such a loser sometimes
[10/11/11 10:34:17 PM] Laura Roecker: you feel like a loser?
[10/11/11 10:34:18 PM] Laura Roecker: why?
[10/11/11 10:34:25 PM] Lisa Roecker: i just feel like we suck sometimes
[10/11/11 10:34:28 PM] Lisa Roecker: i don't know
[10/11/11 10:34:29 PM] Laura Roecker: yeah, me too
[10/11/11 10:34:34 PM] Laura Roecker: but who gives a shit
[10/11/11 10:34:36 PM] Lisa Roecker: meh
[10/11/11 10:34:37 PM] Laura Roecker: i mean, honestly
[10/11/11 10:35:30 PM] Laura Roecker: we are in the middle of the slow crowd of runners
[10/11/11 10:35:37 PM] Lisa Roecker: that is so so so sad
[10/11/11 10:35:44 PM] Lisa Roecker: we're like the people who walk the first lap of the mile
[10/11/11 10:35:47 PM] Laura Roecker: haha
[10/11/11 10:35:49 PM] Lisa Roecker: because they don't have a chance of finishing
[10/11/11 10:35:48 PM] Laura Roecker: we are
[10/11/11 10:35:52 PM] Lisa Roecker: walkers
[10/11/11 10:35:56 PM] Laura Stropki: we've stopped running
[10/11/11 10:35:57 PM] Lisa Roecker: just a couple of walkers
[10/11/11 10:36:05 PM] Lisa Roecker: let's be honest, we never even tried to run
[10/11/11 10:36:14 PM] Laura Roecker: stopping to bend over at our knees every few steps
[10/11/11 10:36:38 PM] Laura Roecker: whatever...slow and steady

So, we've officially hit the middle of the manuscript which explains why we're drowning in our own suck.

Good lord, THE SUCK.

Day 2 Edit Count:
Laura: 7,901 words
Lisa: 6,994 words

Day 1 of Editing Hell

2011-10-11T06:00:00.004-04:00

[10/10/11 9:36:31 PM] Lisa Roecker: what if we made the brotherhood capable of time travel?
[10/10/11 9:36:33 PM] Lisa Roecker: i'm just thinking out loud here
[10/10/11 9:36:42 PM] Laura Roecker: YES
[10/10/11 9:36:45 PM] Laura Roecker: OMG, YES
[10/10/11 9:36:53 PM] Lisa Roecker: and the mausoleum is their NEXUS
[10/10/11 9:36:55 PM] Laura Roecker: they could go back in time to the night Grace died
[10/10/11 9:36:59 PM] Lisa Roecker: you know, a hub of all their powers
[10/10/11 9:37:00 PM] Lisa Roecker: BAM
[10/10/11 9:37:03 PM] Lisa Roecker: bestseller!
[10/10/11 9:37:07 PM] Laura Roecker: it's perfect
[10/10/11 9:37:15 PM] Lisa Roecker: i'm a genius
[10/10/11 9:37:20 PM] Laura Roecker: truly

Apparently these are the conversations you have when you're editing at warp speed.

Day 1 edit count:

Lisa: 7,363 words
Laura: 8,239 words

Bring it.

7 Days of Editing Hell

2011-10-10T06:00:00.002-04:00

Welcome to hades, my friends. Here's the deal. We've been slacking on edits. MAJORLY slacking.

Here are some of the things we've been doing instead of editing.

1. Internet shopping. Let's just say we both have new boots coming in the mail, Laura has two new scarves and I've even done some early Christmas shopping. Yeah.

2. Cyberstalking. Guilt might have stopped me from actually tweeting, but make no mistake, I've been stalking all of y'all on Twitter. (P.S. I still can't pull off y'all. Crap.)

3. Fall TV. My DVR has been recording so much it's smoking and yet, it's almost empty. Because I'm watching it ALL. So much shame.

4. Lee Nichols. I keep reading her book when I should be editing. And then I feel guilty for reading, so I edit like a paragraph and then I read some more. There's something wrong with me.

5. Dicking around on the internet. You guys, I've been pretend house hunting. That's right. Touring homes that I have no intention of ever buying because I'm procrastinating. Even worse, now Laura is searching for homes and sending me links.

THIS HAS TO STOP.

And you guys get to help.

In order to finish our edits in one week, we need to edit 6,500 words a day. It's a lofty goal, but trust me when I say if you add up all the time we've been spending on the 5 things mentioned above, we'd have finished editing a month ago. Drastic times call for drastic measures, my friends.

And that's where you guys come in.

Every day for the rest of the week we're going to post the number of words we edited the day before. If that number is under 6,500 we'll do something supremely humiliating in a vlog and you, dear reader, will get to suggest and vote on this humiliating act.

So...with the exception of Thursday October 13th (which just happens to be the book birthday of one of our favorite books) our blog posts will be word counts and random jibberish for the next 7 days.

Wish us luck.

P.S.
I have no idea why these continue to make me laugh so hard I almost pee, but they do. Oh, they do.

Please be warned explicit language and extreme randomness abound.

Happy Columbus Day!

Celebstalking by LiLa

2011-10-07T06:00:00.014-04:00

I have no idea if this guy is an actual celebrity or not, but this was on People.com, and that's good enough for me. So, um, daddy dates? Seriously? The headline was "How to date your daughter." So wrong on so many levels. My inner 13-year-old almost died of humiliation.

This is the headline for this pic Jewel: Motherhood Is Teaching Me to Go with the Flow. Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't Jewel live in her car for an extended period of time? I'm just not sure someone living in a van, seeking work as a professional yodeler could not go with the flow.

Mark Ruffalo is hot. SUPER hot. Every time I see him I think of his character in The Kids Are Alright. Love that movie.

I can't deal with a short-haired Tim Riggins. I'm going to pretend I never saw this picture and carry on with my detailed day dreams of Tim and I living happily ever after on a working farm in Texas. I think that's best for everyone involved.

Laura called me after watching He's Just Not That Into You and launched a 20 minute hate vomit on Scar Jo. I'm not sure if it's the hormones or what, but it's almost like she thinks Scarlette seduced her husband. Normally, I'd try to be the voice of reason, but she scares me.

Liz Lemon. I want you back. Now. It's not fair to leave us Liz Lemon-less for this long. This picture also reminds me that I really need to read Bossypants.

Happy weekend everyone!

Thankful Thursday - Best. Day. Ever.

2011-10-06T06:00:00.001-04:00

July 22nd 2009 the universe shifted just a little. That was the day Loretta Nyhan stumbled onto our blog, ripped apart the first few hundred words of our WIP and became one of our closest friends and readers.
We had exchanged emails with Loretta a month before when she emailed us to ask questions about how to choose an agent. To be honest, we didn't put two and two together when we read her comment on our blog. We just knew her feedback was dead on. Instead of telling us what we wanted to hear, "You're amazing!" "Have you won awards for your writing?" "Get this to your agent NOW!" she told us what we desparately needed to hear--that we were close, but could do better. As writers, isn't that always what we're striving for? Our best? That and incredible beta readers. Two birds with one stone, my friends.

From that day forward, we decided to exchange work. We sent her our baby and she sent us hers. We were blown away by her writing, wanted to recommend it to friends, our mom, anyone who would listen, couldn't wait until it was published so we could do just that. And in return, we received honest, constructive feedback on our own writing. There's nothing better than a critique partner who isn't afraid to tear into your work, but does it in a way that makes you want to get better, that forces you to improve as a writer.

And then somewhere along the way, a few emails in, we forged a friendship with a complete stranger--but that's the funny thing. From the beginning, Loretta just fit. She never really felt like a stranger. She always felt like a friend. Sure she supplied endless advice on our works in progress, but she also listened to family stories, served as an herbalist, cured our colds and linked us to the best Etsy shops. She was one of the first people who knew when Lisa had her baby and when Laura found out she was pregnant because Loretta is just someone you tell. We've talked on the phone, sent Christmas cards and the day of our launch, met.

That's right...Loretta traveled all the way from Chicago and surprised us at our launch party. Talk about surreal. As we were simultaneously sweating and signing books, someone approached us in line who looked awfully familiar. Cue tears. And hugs. And squeals.

And now it's our turn to jump up and down and squeal for her because Loretta and her amazing writing partner, Suzanne Hayes, are getting published!

Suzanne Hayes and Loretta Nyhan's I'LL BE SEEING YOU, a story of unexpected friendship told through letters shared between two American women on the home front during World War II, to Erika Imranyi at Mira, in a two-book deal, by Anne Bohner at Pen & Ink Literary and Joanna Volpe at Nancy Coffey Literary & Media Representation.

We always knew this day would come, but there's absolutely nothing like seeing a friend's dream come true. Jump up and down and squeal with us in the comments. We demand it.

Can't Knock the Hustle

2011-10-05T06:00:00.004-04:00

Day after day we read about double dip recessions under headlines that read "Is the American Dream Dead?" Not gonna lie, it's a little ~~depressing~~ soul crushing.

And that is why How To Make It In America is capitalist porn.

It's fascinating to watch two recovering slackers launch a fashion line in NYC and it's impossible not to cheer for them to succeed. And even though we're writers and not entrepreneurial designers, I can identify with their aspirations for greatness. I love that they're chasing their dreams against all odds and I'm right there with them.

Bryan Greenberg is hot, but the real star of the show is New York City. I've never seen the city captured quite like this before. I might be a Cleveland girl, but like so many writers my dreams are tied up somewhere in NYC.

Can't knock the hustle.

Dream Big or Go Home

Thankful Tuesday

2011-10-04T06:00:00.002-04:00

We're still slogging through edits on The Lies That Bind, but I'm going to tell you a secret.

Somedays I think the book is good.

Maybe even better than The Liar Society.

And other days....

I don't.

But when we get packages like this in the mail it doesn't really matter either way.

Because there are girls out there who love this book. Girls like Hailey Campbell and her mom, Steph. So, at the end of the day all that really matters is that we write the best book we know how. Hopefully that will be enough.

My Weekend in a Pic

2011-10-03T06:00:00.001-04:00

This weekend was all about Ben and I'm happy to report that his 1st birthday party was a success....Well, as long as you consider 3 hours of complete and utter chaos a success.

I've come to the conclusion that I sort of suck at parties. I'm too much of a control freak to ignore the fact that Jack is on his 8th juice box or to let Mia walk around with frosting smeared in her hair.

Of course, I did allow this to happen....

For almost two entire minutes before I tossed him into the bath.

Progress.

Celebstalking by LiLa

2011-09-30T06:00:00.000-04:00

My baby is officially 1. If you need me I'll be buried in a pile of onesies weeping.

To celebrate the occasion, Ben has decided to start climbing the stairs. Being the stellar Mom that I am, I decided to snap a quick photo of his inaugural climb and he literally somersaulted down the stairs as I was snapping the pic. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a suspected concussion.

Good thing the celeb Moms were out in full force this week and they manage to make me look competent. Well, almost competent.

Is it just me or does Selma Blair look like she's about to eat her child in this picture? I mean, I know post baby diets are a bitch, but this is just ridiculous.

Yes, Gwen is hot and super stylish, but these are the words that ran through my mind when I saw this picture:

RINGMASTER! TINY CIRCUS! LEG WARMERS!

Why didn't anyone tell me that K. Fed is knocked up?

Every time I see Jennifer Hudson looking all skinny and fabulous I can't help but feel a little sorry for her. Being the celeb spokesperson for Weight Watchers might be the worst job EVER. So. Much. Pressure.

Dear Selena, Sometimes I'll catch a quick glimpse of my husband when he leaves the house for work at 5 AM and I'll notice that his tie clashes with his shirt or that he's wearing pleated pants that are just so wrong on so many levels. But you know what, it's 5 AM, we live in Cleveland, and the paps aren't exactly surrounding his Jeep Cherokee as he rolls out of our driveway, so usually I just roll over and go right back to sleep.

But you're the envy of 10-year-old girls across the globe. You caught the Bieber fever. Literally. With great privilege comes great responsibility. So next time the Biebs shows up looking like an extra from Castaway in a pair of cut off jean capris do everyone a favor and get him into a pair of decent pants. Tweens everywhere are counting on you.

Look, I have no idea what Britney's mental state is like these days, but based off this week's pictures alone, I'm calling it: Britney, you won the divorce. Congratulations.

Best. Movie. Poster. EVER. Genius.

Happy Friday everyone!

The Bookanistas: The eBook eXperiment

2011-09-29T06:00:00.001-04:00

Publishing is a tough business.

Really tough.

The kind of business that chews people up and spits them out and makes them swear that they will never write another book ever again. EVER.

But it's also the kind of business that grabs hold of you and won't let go.

Because for many writers seeing their name on the cover of a book is a dream.

And dreams don't die easy.

That's one of the reasons I was so impressed when Shelli Johannes Wells wrote this very honest post about her experience in publishing last week. And then when I found out she's running an eBook eXperiment on her blog I was intrigued. eBooks are uncharted territory for so many writers (us included), but there's no argument that they've created a profitable, accessible channel for writers to publish their work. eBooks are our future and I know absolutely nothing about them.

So, I don't know about you, but I'll be watching Shelli's journey from manuscript to eBook with great interest. Can a savvy writer make a go of it with a YA eBook? I can't wait to find out.

Interested in what the other Bookanistas are up to this week? You know you are...

Elana Johnson interviews Elle Strauss, author of Clockwise
Christine Fonseca is wowed by The White Assassin - with giveaway
Shannon Whitney Messenger loves Lola & the Boy Next Door – with giveaway
Beth Revis delights in The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer – with giveaway
Shelli Johannes-Wells falls for Fracture
Carolina Valdez Miller adores Ashfall – with giveaway
Jessi Kirby marvels at The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer
Shana Silver steps up to Audition
Corrine Jackson is crazy about Cracked
Stasia Ward Kehoe swoons for Swan and To Dance

This is your brain on edits

2011-09-28T06:00:00.000-04:00

LiLa on a good day:

LiLa after a week of editing:

And we're not even close to being done. Hold me.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-09-27T06:00:00.003-04:00

1. Today is my 8-year wedding anniversary.

2. I'm planning on serving tacos for dinner because nothing says "I love you" like ground beef.

3. This commercial made me cry. I'm blaming it on Ben's 1st birthday.

4. I haven't been to the gym in almost a week. THERE IS NO TIME. Boo.

5. Stacey designed the cutest b-day invites for Ben's first birthday in like an hour. Need gorgeous, custom, evites? Head to the Paperless Pooch STAT.

What's your truth this Tuesday? Hopefully they're more exciting than mine. I'll be living vicariously through you in the comments.

How to Write a Kissing Scene by (soon-to-be) famous author Stasia Ward Kehoe

2011-09-26T06:00:00.000-04:00

Best. Idea. Ever.

Celebstalking by LiLa

2011-09-23T06:00:00.001-04:00

First off it's Friday and I'm not hungover. Can I get a hell yeah? Or maybe even just a heck yes? I'd totally settle for a heck yes.

And now....Let the celebrity discussion commence!

I love John Hamm on so many levels for so many different reasons. But I also love his girlfriend, Jennifer Westfeldt. She's charming and cool and everything John Hamm's life partner should be. She was also the star of Kissing Jessica Stein and holy crap, I LOVED that movie.

Tyra. Modelland. Book signing. I'm sorry I can't elaborate more, but it's really hard to type in the fetal position.

Crap, why can't I look like this when I do drop off in the morning? Well, I guess it might have something to do with the fact that on an average day I roll out of bed at 7:37 and drop the kids off at 7:51. So, yeah. There's that.

(Also, are pointy toed shoes back in style now? Am I the last person on the planet who still wears ballet flats? WHY!?! WHY!?!)

This picture just sent the D-Bag-O-Meter into overdrive.

Is it just me or is anyone else scanning this photo for an Activia logo?

I was so intrigued by this frothy drink that I googled Nespresso and discovered that I need one. Now.

You guys, this is Lourdes. Lourdes! She's all grown up! Am I the only person completely shocked by this? Is it weird that I'm sort of dying to know how Suri feels about it? That bitch cracks my shit up.

Happy weekend all!

Bookanistas: WINNER!!!

2011-09-22T06:00:00.001-04:00

Last week we decided to spread our love for SOMETHING LIKE HOPE. A huge congratulations goes out to Susan at The Book Bag blog! Susan, email us with your address and we'll place the order and then it's up to YOU to spread the love as well!
To the rest of you, go out and buy this book and spread the love on your own. We can promise you one thing--you will not regret it!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Fall TV - Whatcha Watchin'

2011-09-21T06:00:00.000-04:00

It's no secret that I'm the TV queen and this Fall is no different. I'm committed to watching every show with even the tiniest bit of buzz and reporting back to you about whether or not it's worth watching. Of course you'll have to bear in mind that all opinions are that of a woman who will religiously watches the new 90210 and pretty much anything Bravo churns out (With the exception of that awful Dallas show. What is that about? I have no idea why I hate it so much, but I really, really do.).

Anyway, here's what I've watched so far....

The Playboy Club - Don't judge me, I'm in Mad Men withdrawal, ok? I mean I had to at least give it a shot. The best/worst thing about the show is Eddie Ciberian's piss poor Don Draper impression. And then I remembered that Leanne Rimes let's that Don-a-be whisper sweet nothings into her ear every single night. Distracting to say the least.

The Verdict: Stick a stiletto in this one because this show is DEAD. (Sadly you'll only get this joke if you've actually watched this piece of crap. Needless to say, I'm hopeful you have no idea what I'm talking about.)

The Ringer - There's a lot of buzz about this show so I was very curious to check it out. The concept is pretty intriguing (a twin fakes her death and leaves her sister to take over her life). The execution is cheesy in the extreme. But lucky for Sarah Michelle Gellar, it's just the kind of cheddar that I love. Everything from the terrible special effects to the far fetched events that transpire throughout this 60 minutes of gouda practically scream telenovella.

The Verdict: Pour yourself a cheap glass of wine and grab a box of Wheat Thins, this one is cheese-tastic fun.

Two Broke Girls - The promos promise a script heavy on the sarcasm and one liners so I absolutely had to give this one a shot. And it was decent. A couple of funny moments leave me hopeful that this show will continue to get better. That combined with my girl crush on Kat Dennings will have me tuning in for a few more weeks.

The Verdict: I'll stay tuned to see if this one eventually lives up to its promise.

So, what are you guys watching? Tell me everything in the comments. You know me, I hate to miss out on crappy television.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-09-20T06:00:00.002-04:00

1. Must. Finish. Editing. We are in hard core edit mode and it sucks, we suck and everyone hates us. Including (but not limited to) our husbands, children and Jack's kindergarten aid who gives me the evil eye every morning at drop off.

2. I feel very guilty for missing two weeks of Friday celeb posts. ESPECIALLY since last week I got a great tip from famous author, Lee Nichols, about Posh Spice toting her baby around in ginormous heels.

3. Speaking of famous author Lee Nichols (that really has a ring to it, doesn't it?) I'm totally sneaking chapters of Tales of a Drama Queen in between edits. I forgot how much I love good old fashioned chick lit. Love.
4. We have two contracts to sign this week. And I have no idea if we're allowed to talk about either of them, so that's all I'm going to say about that.

5. I went to an open house on Sunday and fell in love with a house. I've spent the vast majority of time since then staring at pictures of it. Great use of my time for someone with a manuscript due in approximately one week.

So, what's your truth this Tuesday? Spill it in the comments. The jucier the better.

Small Town Laughs

2011-09-19T06:00:00.002-04:00

The two times a week that our local paper is delivered, my husband and I fight over the pages. Well, one page in particular. The Police Reports. There is always at least one blurb that makes us laugh out loud and a few that go down in history.
Here's our favorite from this week...

A Lakedge Court resident said he heard suspicious yelling nearby Sept. 7. The resident said a female yelled, "Go, go, go!" loudly, which sounded to him like an argument that was escalating. Police discovered a woman urging her reluctant dog to go outside in the rain, according to the police report.

Niiiice.

And here are the two that go down in history from last year...

A 26-year-old woman summoned police Oct. 22 after she spotted a large spider on the dashboard of her vehicle at 2:52 p.m. The driver immediately pulled off Darrow Road and called 911 for an officer's assistance, according to police records.

The officer reported the female was standing at the roadside on Darrow Road with all the doors on her vehicle ajar. The woman said the spider was most likely poisonous since it was yellow and black. She said it was first observed on her dashboard and last seen crawling underneath her driver's seat. The officer did not find the spider after a thorough search.

The officer reassured the woman that the spider probably was not poisonous, and she left the scene without incident, according to police reports.

And our number one fave. Drum roll please...

A Sullivan Road resident called police to report a "suspicious package" on his front porch Nov. 2 at 3:20 p.m. The resident said he observed an unknown person leave the package and called police, according to the police report. The officer said he could see the package was clearly labeled with the Amazon.com logo and asked the man if he had ordered anything from the firm recently.

The man reportedly said "Why yes, I did."

The officer told the resident his order had arrived. The resident then said he was comfortable opening the box. The officer then left the scene, according to the report.

We're almost postive the reporters at the paper choose the most ridiculous ones to print. They must have so much fun at work.

Bookanistas: SOMETHING LIKE HOPE and a GIVEAWAY

2011-09-15T06:00:00.003-04:00

I've had my eye on this book for a long, long time. It just sounded like such an inspirational story and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Turns out SOMETHING LIKE HOPE is all of the above and SO much more.

What the back cover has to say:

17-year-old Shavonne has been in juvenile detention since the seventh grade. Mr Delpopolo is the first counselor to treat her as an equal, and he helps her get to the bottom of her self-destructive behavior, her guilt about past actions, and her fears about leaving the Center when she turns 18. Shavonne tells him the truth about her crack-addicted mother, the child she had (and gave up to foster care) at fifteen, and the secret shame she feels about what she did to her younger brother after her mother abandoned them. Meanwhile, Shavonne's mentally unstable roommate Cinda makes a rash move, and Shavonne's quick thinking saves her life—and gives her the opportunity to get out of the Center if she behaves well. But Shavonne's faith is tested when her new roommate, mentally retarded and pregnant Mary, is targeted by a guard as a means to get revenge on Shavonne. As freedom begins to look more and more likely, Shavonne begins to believe that maybe she, like the goslings recently hatched on the Center's property, could have a future somewhere else—and she begins to feel something like hope.

What Lila has to say:

I can't describe this book without using the word "heartbreaking." And what's even more difficult to comprehend is the fact that this story may not be fiction to 93,000 boys and girls across the country who occupied residential centers at the time the book was written. In fact, Shawn Goodman has worked in several juvenile facilities like the one in the book, so I imagine he pulled from his own experience to write Shavonne's story.

And there's no doubt in my mind that this book will win additional awards (Shawn has already won the Delacorte Press Prize for a First Young Adult Novel, as seen on the cover). Shavonne's voice is pitch-perfect and Mr. Delpopolo, her counselor throughout the book, could have been sitting across the table from me the way he jumped right off the page. I absolutely loved the tension at having the opportunity to be inside Shavonne's head while at the same time witnessing her actions, which were often directly in conflict of one another. Throughout the course of the novel, she is hiding something and as I turned each page, I was urging her to let Mr. Delpopolo in so that he could help her move forward and could teach her how to heal. I grew attached to say the least.

I've already emailed many of my teacher friends to spread the word about this beautiful book. It would be a great conversation starter in 7th-12th grade and will be a great source of inspiration for students who may be struggling to find their way. Shavonne's story will break your heart, but will also leave you feeling incredibly hopeful. It's the perfect reminder of how lucky we all are to have friends and family members who love us and a life where we feel safe. It also leaves me very inspired to spread some love around.

So here's the deal. One lucky commenter will win a brand new copy of SOMETHING LIKE HOPE. But here's the catch. After you read it, you must donate it to a school or a shelter or hand it off to a young person you know who might benefit from a little hope in their lives. Deal? Deal. Oh...and then we want to hear about it, of course! We want to know if you loved the book as much as us and where the copy ended up.

Leave a comment for a chance to win!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson is in a tizzy over Texas Gothic

Christine Fonseca is transformed by Shifting

Shannon Whitney Messenger takes a shine to So Silver Bright – with giveaway

Scott Tracey is on board for Starship Academy

Beth Revis shouts about The Name of the Star

Shana Silver loves Lola and the Boy Next Door

Rosemary Clement Moore is distracted by Alien Invasion & Other Inconveniences

Sarah Frances Hardy adores Birdie’s Big Girl Dress

Stasia Ward Kehoe takes a fancy to Fracture

Carolina Valdez Miller goes gaga for Glow and Shifting – with giveaway

Tuesday's Truth Continued

2011-09-14T06:00:00.001-04:00

She broke me down. Lisa has that effect sometimes.

LiLa's knocked up. Again. What does this mean?

I have prego brain and as a result am the most worthless writing partner on the face of the planet.
I sleep a lot.
This commercial makes me cry. Every time. It also compels me to place large boxes of Pampers diapers into my cart every trip to Target. Well played, Pampers. Well played.
One second I feel November can't come fast enough. The next, I'm freaking about the pace at which November is approaching.
I get to make lots of excuses all in the vein of, "But I'm pregnant!"

Can't wait to introduce the newest member of our family in a few months...all of the above will still hold true with a newborn. Ahh, the beauty of the cycle of life.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-09-13T06:00:00.000-04:00

1. Sometimes I like the friends we've made because we started writing better than the business of publishing.

2. We only have one chapter left in The Lies That Bind and I'm sort of scared to write it. It's a BIG chapter and I just keep starting at my flashing cursor hoping it will write itself. Laura loves me right now.

3. Remember when I swore I'd never, ever wear skinny jeans? I lied. That probably means they're out of style already.

4. Laura has a big secret she hasn't shared on the blog. I feel like it's time to out her. Yes? Maybe. She's going to kill me.

5. I will never, ever forget this article.

What's your truth this Tuesday? I command you to tell all in the comments.

Monday Morning Dance Party

2011-09-12T06:00:00.001-04:00

So I've decided that every Monday we'll post a random song on the blog for you musical enjoyment and I asked Laura if she had any suggestions for this week's post. Here's how that conversation went:

Laura: love this idea!
Laura: how about lucky now by ryan adams
Laura: i love ryan adams
Lisa: all of his songs sound the same to me
Lisa: ooh, that's not bad
Lisa: i haven't heard this one
Lisa: i'll post it
Laura: i love it when i'm right
Lisa: he sounds different!
Laura: it's a new cd
Lisa: way to grow, Ryan Adams
Laura: i also love david grey
Laura: gray?
Lisa: of course you do.
Laura: ALL of my music sounds the same
Lisa: it really does
Lisa: it's like one long sound track of middle child angst
Laura: it really is

So...I decided to post two songs this morning. If you want to spend your entire day in bed, sobbing about your general insignificance in a world full of cruelty and heartbreak, listen to Laura's pick by Ryan Adams.

However, if you plan on being a fully functioning member of society and you've already had at least one cup of coffee here's one of my faves. Ironically, it's a very happy song about being so depressed you don't want to leave your bed.

Happy Monday!

WINNER, WINNER!!!

2011-09-08T15:03:00.000-04:00

Thank you to the hundreds of aspiring authors who submitted their work for consideration in The Reading Room/WriteOnCon Aspiring Authors Contest. The competition was "fierce" (to quote fellow YA author Tyra Banks) and it was extremely difficult to narrow the entries to the top five.

Congratulations to our top five deserving contestants who made the judges' final decision very difficult. For those who didn’t get the chance to read these five entries you can still access them until the end of September by visiting http://www.thereadingroom.com/writeoncons/competition.

And now, without further ado...

Please put your hands together for Linda Jackson and her novel A PLACE TO CALL HOME.

Linda, you will receive $1,000 with compliments from TheReadingRoom.com, and can spend your $1000 on icecream or an iPad, pencils or a pile of books--whatever your heart desires. You've also landed yourself an author profile page on The Reading Room, the best place to connect with like-minded readers and share your passion for books.

And now we must leave everyone with two very important words. WRITE. ON.

The Bookanistas: A Two-fer Giveaway WITCH EYES and WILDEFIRE

2011-09-08T06:00:00.001-04:00

If you like witches, goddesses and/or heat, (lots and lots of heat) today is your lucky day because we're giving away two of the hottest books on the planet.

And they'll both be signed.

By Scott Tracey.

He only wrote one of the books.

It's kind of a long story.

So...first things first....

WITCH EYES by Scott Tracey officially debuts today and to celebrate we're giving away a signed copy.

Here's what the back cover has to say:

A boy who can see the world's secrets and unravel spells with just a glance.

Braden's witch eyes give him an enormous power. A mere look causes a kaleidoscopic explosion of emotions, memories, darkness, and magic. But this rare gift is also his biggest curse.

Compelled to learn about his shadowed past and the family he never knew, Braden is drawn to the city of Belle Dam, where he is soon caught between two feuding witch dynasties. Sworn rivals Catherine Lansing and Jason Thorpe will use anything--lies, manipulation, illusion, and even murder--to seize control of Braden's powers. To stop an ancient evil from destroying the town, Braden must master his gift, even through the shocking discovery that Jason is his father. While his feelings for an enigmatic boy named Trey grow deeper, Braden realizes a terrible truth: Trey is Catherine Lansing's son . . . and Braden may be destined to kill him.

LiLa's Take:
Welcome to Belle Dam, bitches. A word of advice: Do not pick up WITCH EYES if you have any remotely pressing obligations because you will not want to put this book down. Between the feuding families, the crazy critters and the the chemistry between Braden and Trey there is something for everyone in this book. The twisty plot will have you turning pages and the engaging cast of characters will leave you begging for more. And the kissing scene??? I won't go into details, because you'll know it when you read it. One word for you: SaWoon.

Judge this book by its cover?
Hell. Yes. It's perfection. Creepy, intriguing and gorgeous - just like the book itself. Everyone needs a copy of WITCH EYES on their bookshelf. Total shelf candy.

Up next is the hilarious Karsten Knight's debut, WILDEFIRE.

Here's what the back cover has to say:

Every flame begins with a spark.

Ashline Wilde is having a rough sophomore year. She’s struggling to find her place as the only Polynesian girl in school, her boyfriend just cheated on her, and now her runaway sister, Eve, has decided to barge back into her life. When Eve’s violent behavior escalates and she does the unthinkable, Ash transfers to a remote private school nestled in California’s redwoods, hoping to put the tragedy behind her. But her fresh start at Blackwood Academy doesn’t go as planned. Just as Ash is beginning to enjoy the perks of her new school—being captain of the tennis team, a steamy romance with a hot, local park ranger—Ash discovers that a group of gods and goddesses have mysteriously enrolled at Blackwood…and she’s one of them. To make matters worse, Eve has resurfaced to haunt Ash, and she’s got some strange abilities of her own. With a war between the gods looming over campus, Ash must master the new fire smoldering within before she clashes with her sister one more time… And when warm and cold fronts collide, there’s guaranteed to be a storm.

LiLa's Take:
Gods and goddesses as you've never seen them before. I LOVED ASH. Finally a self-confident, kick ass narrator who's way too busy dealing with her crazy sister to waste too much time mooning around about boys. Honestly, I'm pretty sure The Regulator would want to adopt this little Volcano goddess and make her do useful things like light fires in the fireplace and take the candles in birthday cakes to a whole new level. The characters are diverse, quick witted and sexy and holy twist Batman, the last scene will leave you stalking poor Karsten for the next book in the series.

Judge this book by its cover? Obviously. It's hot, the book is hot. Win. Win.

As much as we love teasing you with fantastic books every week, this time we're taking pity on our poor blog readers and giving both of these amazing books to one lucky reader. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post. Good luck!!!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson shares some book love for Random Acts of Publicity Week

LiLa Roecker is wild about a double giveaway of Witch Eyes and Wildefire

Christine Fonseca thinks you should Write Your Book Now!

Shannon Whitney Messenger loves Legend – with signed arc giveaway

Scott Tracey: Today is Witch Eyes release day – wowza!

Jessi Kirby gets inside Sean Griswold’s Head

Sarah Frances Hardy applauds Lottie Paris Lives Here

Stasia Ward Kehoe marvels at The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Write YA? Watch This Show.

2011-09-07T06:00:00.002-04:00

Scott Tracey told me I'd love this show.

He was right.

It's hilarious and a little too close to my high school experience for comfort.

Enjoy.

Awkward. - MTV Shows

PS: Today is the last day to vote on a winner for The Reading Room/WriteOnCon Aspiring Author Competition. The winner will be announced tomorrow so go forth and VOTE!

Monday Morning Dance Party*

2011-09-06T06:00:00.005-04:00

Last night I was driving home and it had been a really difficult day. It felt like there was a steel band wrapped around my ribcage, being pulled tighter and tighter. It was just one of those moments where everything wrong in my life piled up right in the center of my chest.

Not gonna lie, all that shit makes it really hard to breathe.

So I'm in the middle of a mini-panic attack and I just happened to have this amazingly random indie radio station on in the background. Out of nowhere this song came on. And in that moment it sort of felt like this song saved my life. It was like maybe if the perfect song happens to come on at the perfect moment for a girl who just happens to be driving home and freaking out, anything is possible.

It's moments like this that make me believe in guardian angels and fate and happy endings and higher powers.

This is that song.

I dare you not to dance.

*Um, yeah, it's Tuesday. Thanks Matt for pointing that out to me. Carry on.

Your Weekly Dose of Random Celebrity Commentary

2011-09-02T06:00:00.004-04:00

It's Friday y'all (I don't actually say y'all in real life, but I often wish I was the type of person who could say y'all and not sound like a total tool. Alas, I am not that person.) and you know what that means...It's time for your weekly run down of celeb happenings according to LiLa.

Oh Jess, Jess, Jess, I can't even really see this dress, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's deeply unflattering and all wrong for your gorgeous figure. Your look brings back fond memories of t-shirts I made at an overnight girl scout camp in 6th grade and that experience ended with me crying in the nurse's office because I couldn't bring myself to poop in a latrine. So, yeah, let's just say I'm pretty confident that this won't end well.

As you know, I'm slightly obsessed with Glee and more than slightly obsessed with Puck. But this picture has me a little concerned about the upcoming season. Let's be real here. Puck looks 35. Putting him in a letter jacket is not going to change that.

This photo confirms a deep-seated suspicion I've always had that Marilyn Manson is really, really cool. Based on John Hamm's SNL appearance it's pretty clear that he's hilarious and doesn't take himself seriously at all and the fact that he's hamming (pun TOTALLY intended) it up with M squared leads me to believe that he's in the same camp. Honestly, I've never really given up hope that Marilyn is actually Paul from The Wonder Years who made a career out of punking the music industry. Thank you, US Weekly for keeping my dream alive.

Taylor Swift looks like a lost fairy roaming the earth in just about every picture taken of her. The girl just glows.

Three cheers for the Tis! More often than not she ends up looking like an aging tranny on the red carpet and this understated, natural look suits her. Give your stylist a bonus! And please for the love of God, pass her contact info along to J. Simp.

I need only look at this picture for the briefest of seconds to have my hate tank for Katherine Heigl completely refueled.

George Clooney. On a boat. I saw this picture and then went back and watched all the Old Spice ads on YouTube.

Have a wonderful long weekend everyone! We'll be back next week with....words. And pictures. And lots of random ramblings.

XOXO,
L&L

The Bookanistas: The Day Before

2011-09-01T06:00:00.003-04:00

Full disclosure...we've always been a little scared of novels in verse. When we had the opportunity to read Audition by Stasia Kehoe (which releases next month, more on this to come), we were introduced to a brand new world. And you know what? We're not afraid anymore. In fact, I couldn't wait to dig in to The Day Before for this very reason.

What the back cover has to say:

Amber’s life is spinning out of control. All she wants is to turn up the volume on her iPod until all of the demands of family and friends fade away. So she sneaks off to the beach to spend a day by herself.

Then Amber meets Cade. Their attraction is instant, and Amber can tell he’s also looking for an escape. Together they decide to share a perfect day: no pasts, no fears, no regrets.

The more time that Amber spends with Cade, the more she’s drawn to him. And the more she’s troubled by his darkness. Because Cade’s not just living in the now—he’s living each moment like it’s his last.

What Lila has to say:

Oh, the hook, you guys, the HOOK! Girl runs away from her own problems only to run into a stranger who carries an equal amount of baggage, if not more. I absolutely love the concept of two people connecting over the course of a day, not to mention broken people with secrets. So all of this works together to drive the plot--not only do you devour each page to discover what these characters are hiding, but you tear through the book to discover how their relationship is going to evolve. I mean, how romantic! Two strangers cross paths and their lives are forever changed.

But what is most incredible is how Lisa is able to tell the story using perfectly chosen words, rhythm and visual elements where the words practically dance along the page in some instances. It's incredibly creative and extremely impressive that all elements of a story come together in so few words--it's the intentional nature of each carefully selected word that is the true inspiration for a fellow writer. I really, really enjoyed the entire experience of reading this book.

So, yeah, you might call me a fan. I've read Lisa's middle grade, It's Raining Cupcakes, which I really enjoyed and can't wait to dig into the rest of her collection of stories. SOLD.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson succumbs to The Eleventh Plague

Shannon Whitney Messenger swoons over Flyaway by Lucy Christopher – with giveaway

Scott Tracey is overwhelmed by A Vast Field of Ordinary

Jessi Kirby wonders at What Happened to Goodbye

Shana Silver is mesmerized by Possess

Corrine Jackson’s Blogiversary celebration continues with more YA Authors on Lessons Learned

Stasia Ward Kehoe ponders the issue of plot spoilers in book reviews – with giveaway

Veronica Rossi says bravo to Daughter of Smoke and Bone

A Conversation Between LiLa

2011-08-31T06:00:00.002-04:00

Lisa: You hate me, don't you?

Laura: Kind of.

Lisa: I'm sorry I didn't get my chapter done. I've just got so much going on....

Laura: Don't lie. I saw you tweeting about Awkward and the VMAs.

Lisa: Oh, so now you decide to check Twitter.

Laura: Yeah, well I've had a lot of time on my hands since you've STOPPED WRITING.

Lisa: Right. Sorry. I'll write my chapter tonight. Right after I fold this laundry....

Laura: Since when do you fold laundry? Your laundry room looks like something out of an episode of Hoarders. Procrastinate much?

Lisa: Crap. You're right. I'm writing, I'm writing.

Laura: That's what I thought. Who's the bossy sister now?

Tell The Truth Tuesday

2011-08-30T06:00:00.001-04:00

1. Every time I clean my house I say a little prayer that someone will randomly come over and think my house is this clean all the time. It never happens.

2. It's still really hard for me to have people read things that I wrote. Particularly if it's something I wrote all by myself.

3. The one question from aspiring writers that always annoys the crap out of me is this: "I think I just need someone who can rewrite this book for me and make it good. Is that what your agent or editor did for you guys?" Um, no. No, it is not.

4. It smells like Fall and I sort of love it. Apple picking, pumpkins, hot cider.

5. Jack tied his shoes for the first time last week and I cried. Guess I have the mom gene after all. It's just buried REALLY deep.

6. We might have just sent someone a 10,000 word OUTLINE. Yikes.

7. Laura is probably going to divorce me forever when she wakes up tomorrow and doesn't see a shiny new chapter of THE LIES THAT BIND waiting in our joint inbox. Sorry, Laur! Today is THE day. Promise.

8. Watching The Bachelor Pad makes me feel dirty.

9. I have the funniest quote ever from Laura about boobs, but she'll really kill me if I put it in this post. Since I don't have a new chapter for her to read I'm not going to push my luck.

10. Sometimes I feel like a bad mom when I see the other moms crying as they leave their kids in Kindergarten. Today is the first day that all of the kids will be in school AT THE SAME TIME. No more mommy-tasking and bribing the kids to stay quiet during conference calls. No tears from this girl! Whut! Whut!

And now, TO THE COMMENTS! What's your truth this Tuesday?

The Little Things

2011-08-29T06:00:00.001-04:00

My husband is obsessed with 9/11. Anytime there's a documentary on, he's tuned in and with the 10 year anniversary this week we've been watching a lot of the footage. Reliving it, dissecting what happened, hearing first hand accounts from the victim's families.

It's difficult to watch. I don't know if other people feel this way, but I can't think about 9/11 without getting a huge pit in my stomach. The fear of the possibilities swallows me and I start to go through what ifs.

What if terrorists strike again?

What if my husband is on the plane?

What if I have cancer and I don't know it?

What if one of my kids get sick?

What if we get into a horrible car accident?

All of the horrible possibilities pile on top of each other until I want to crawl back into bed and never crawl back out. Sometimes in those moments it's tempting to stop living because I'm so scared of dying.

Which is silly if you think about it because there's so much to live for. So I take a deep breath and force myself to take stock of all I have to be thankful for, to think about the reasons I get out of bed every single morning.

The drooly smiles.

The surprise hugs and kisses.

The sound of my husband's laugh.

Fan mail from 12-year-olds.

BBQs at my parents house where my brother-in-law scares the crap out of the kids while hiding in a dark shed.

Hilarious videos of my nephew drawing all over my sister's car.

The time that the guy at the Mac store gave me a new charger free of charge, just to be nice.

That feeling you get the moment you put down a really amazing book.

So, tell me, what gets you out of bed every morning?

This Week In Celebrities

2011-08-26T06:00:00.001-04:00

Do you hear that noise? It's Bridget Moynahan shrieking in RAGE every time the paparazzi snap a picture of her son with Gisele "Breastfeeding Should be an International Law" Bundchen playing family with her son.

Wow, guess it really is possible to de-sex Bradley Cooper. Who knew?

OK, Demi and Punky are described as besties in the caption of this photo. I'm intrigued. How do they know each other? Was Soleil a secret brat packer??? Does this mean Punky Brewster was doing lines off of Rob Lowe in between takes with Henry and the gang at the club house? I NEED MORE INFORMATION.

This outfit confirms my suspicions that I want to be Pippa Middleton. Not be like her, but actually physically take over her life.

Dear Pippa, This is probably right about the time where you get a restraining order and I totally get that, but let's not let that hinder our budding friendship, k? XOXO, L

Anderson is the only man who can wear a backpack in public without looking like a semi-hungover college student.

Someone send Jonah Hill food. STAT. I'm concerned. This is like Stage 5 Manorexia. He looks like he's getting diet tips from Carson Daly.

Leonardo DiCaprio and Toby Maguire on the set of The Great Gatsby. Oh. My. God. Need this movie NOW.

Yet another pink haired, Kate. We approve.

Happy weekend everyone!

Bookanistas: IMAGINARY GIRLS

2011-08-25T06:00:00.003-04:00

First things first, the cover. THE COVER. You can't talk about this book without first drooling over the cover. It's eery and striking--perfectly indicative of the words contained inside. And isn't that what it's all about? I know that covers are a marketing tool--pick me up, buy me. But there is absolutely nothing more satisfying than when you read a book and quickly realize that the cover suits the book perfectly. It is such a good feeling.

What the back cover has to say:

Chloe's older sister, Ruby, is the girl everyone looks to and longs for, who can't be captured or caged. When a night with Ruby's friends goes horribly wrong and Chloe discovers the dead body of her classmate London Hayes left floating in the reservoir, Chloe is sent away from town and away from Ruby.

But Ruby will do anything to get her sister back, and when Chloe returns to town two years later, deadly surprises await. As Chloe flirts with the truth that Ruby has hidden deeply away, the fragile line between life and death is redrawn by the complex bonds of sisterhood.

What Lila has to say:

The cover will obviously get you to buy the book and then the story will take you on a very unique adventure like nothing I've ever read before. I know I say that a lot, but this time I mean it! I MEAN IT. How many times can you say you've read about a resevoir that is rumored to have a drowned city below the surface? Creepy, right? Or a girl who dies and is brought back to life somehow? And yes, I'm sure you've read about all sorts of sister relationships, but I can assure you none of them have quite been like Chloe and Ruby's.

And then there's the writing. It's hard to believe this is Nova Ren Suma's debut novel. Her writing seems so experienced--it's the kind that makes you ashamed you've ever even tried to write! It's tense and vivid and poetic and filled with imagination. Woven throughout the plot is a thread of magic and mysticism, which makes the book stand out in that truly unforgettable way.

And no review of IMAGINARY GIRLS would be complete without discussing Ruby's character. She's one of those larger than life characters who jumps right off the page and grabs hold of other characters as well as the reader and never lets go. You listen to Ruby. You do what she says. You follow her. Because there is something in the way that she is that demands it. I'd like to know a Ruby just to see what it'd be like.

If you're in the mood for something completely different and entirely creative, give IMAGINARY GIRLS a try. The magic will lure you in, so beware, you're sure to have some late nights ahead!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

In Which I Steal From the Catholic Church and Secure My Spot in Hell

2011-08-24T06:00:00.021-04:00

7:55 AM: Vaguely hear my husband tell Jack and Mia they're allowed to have "weekend" cereal on a Monday. Alarm bells were sounding but I was soooo sleepy.

8:30 AM: Wake-up to a full on WWF style wrestling competition in my family room.

8:31 AM: Curse my husband for feeding the kids sugar and then taking off on a business trip.

8:32 AM: Curse even louder when I remember Jack's Kindergarten open house is in an hour and a half.

9:01 AM: Bribe the children into submission and take a quick shower.

9:10 AM: Briefly flirt with the idea of actually blow drying my hair.

9:11 AM: Make eye contact with Ben who immediately starts screaming his head off and twist the whole mess into a bun.

9:28 AM: Ask Jack to turn off the lights down the basement. He laughs in my face and gets exiled to his room amidst many threats of never ever going to Kindergarten and growing up to be illiterate and alone.

9:40 AM: Begin the trek to the Catholic school where Jack is going to be attending Kindergarten.

9:41 AM: Mia complains that her legs hurt and this is the longest walk ever and she HATES Jack's school. I can still see our house and tell her to zip it.

9:42 AM: Remember that I'm the worst Catholic EVER and start sweating. Profusely.

10:02 AM: Arrive at the school. Wonder if anyone has have written a book about a vampire who goes to Catholic school. So. Many. Crosses.

10:07 AM: Finally find Jack's classroom and meet his teachers. They're lovely.

10:09 AM: Hear Jack's voice screaming at Mia like he was using a microphone.

10:10 AM: Realize Jack somehow located and turned on a microphone.

10:11 AM: Whisper-yell at Jack while simultaneously avoiding judgy looks from the other moms.

10:12 AM: Continue making small talk with Jack's teacher while holding Ben and praying that Jack doesn't ask why there's a guy hanging from a cross.

10:13 AM: Feel something sharp on my arm.

10:14 AM: Realize Ben somehow grabbed scissors off the teacher's desk and is now actively trying to stab me with them.

10:15 AM: Figure it's time to cut our losses and get the hell out of Dodge before we get kicked out of the school altogether.

10:16 AM: Jack mumbles goodbye to his teacher while another little boy walks up to her and says, "Hi I'm Charlie O'Malley and I can read."

10:17 AM: Consider stabbing myself with the scissors and putting an end to my mommy guilt forever.

10:18 AM: Remind myself that Catholics really don't approve of suicide and head on up to buy special pencils from the school supply sale.

10:23 AM: Locate the special Catholic pencils and one of the adorable girls working the sale hands me a little receipt and directs me toward the cashier.

10:24 AM: Realize the cashier doesn't accept credit cards.

10:25 AM: Look into my empty wallet and cry a little. Apparently God doesn't take plastic.

10:26 AM: Consider my options. I could ask a neighbor to borrow money, I could return the supplies and hope they sell Catholic pencils at Target or I could steal the supplies temporarily and smuggle a check in at a later date. I look from the $5.30 on my receipt to my screaming 11-month-old and finally to Jack punching Mia in the stomach and I realize exactly what Jesus would want me to do.

10:27 AM: Slip right past the cashier and out the front door.

10:28 AM: Do my best to remember the act of contrition. Never get past "Forgive me Father for I have sinned," and I'm pretty sure I'm remembering that line from a romance novel not Sunday School.

10:40 AM: Get home, grab popsicles for the kids, write a check for $5.30.

10:43 AM: Walk the check over to my neighbor's house who happens to run the sale and write a quick confession, signing my note "The Catholic School Bandit."

10:44 AM: Pray that my neighbor has a good sense of humor.

10:45 AM: Pray that God has a good sense of humor.

10:46 AM: Remind myself that the God I believe in laughs a lot. Especially when frazzled moms steal school supplies and almost get stabbed at Kindergarten open houses.

10:59 AM: Lose cable, internet and phone in a freak construction accident. Pretty sure it's some kind of divine punishment.

12:35 PM: After 2 hours on the phone with AT&T U-Verse I still don't have cable, but I do have free movie channels for 6 months and $75 off my bill.

12:36 PM: Figure God really wanted me to finally watch Easy A. After all, He always has a bigger plan.

THANK YOU!

2011-08-23T06:00:00.006-04:00

For your amazing comments on yesterday's post. We love the idea of our grandma being sent good thoughts from all over the country and beyond. If that doesn't heal her we don't know what will!

For making WriteOnCon 2011 such a success. Check out our official Thank You here!

For donating and participating in the conference. Don't forget to see if you're a winner!

For voting on The Reading Room Top 5 submissions! Who would YOU give $1000 to?

You guys ROCK.

Sending Out Some Positive Vibes

2011-08-22T06:00:00.002-04:00

I'm sure you guys have heard us talk about our amazing grandmother from time-to-time. She reads our blog every single day, says novenas for writing buds who are about to go on submission and sends special saints to our blog friends who are trying to get knocked up. She hand sold our book to unsuspecting senior citizens (and their granddaughters!), wore pink hair to our launch party and lectures us for taking off holidays. She swears, she sends dirty emails and she's the only person on the planet who can successfully boss our mom around.

Oh, and she bakes the most amazing cookies and her homemade spaghetti is pretty much the best thing I've ever tasted in my life.

So, yeah, our Grandmother rocks. But lately she's been feeling a little under the weather and we really, really want her to start feeling better soon. Mostly so she can swear at us and make spaghetti, but also because we love her. If you have a minute leave a comment or send some get well vibes her way.

We love you, Grandma!!! Feel better soon!!!

XOXO,
L&L

EPIC FAIL WINNER!!!!!!!!

2011-08-18T11:07:00.000-04:00

CONGRATULATIONS Karen Akins!!!! You've won a SIGNED copy of EPIC FAIL by Claire LaZebnik! Woohoo! Email us with your address and you can get reading!

Looking for us????

2011-08-16T06:00:00.001-04:00

We're at WriteOnCon!!!!!!!!!!

Come hang out with us at the one and only writer's conference where unwashed pajamas are de rigueur.

Two BIG thumbs up

2011-08-15T06:00:00.016-04:00

I spent my weekend editing vlogs for WriteOnCon and watching movies.

Some quickie reviews:

The Town was AMAZING. So. Much. Tension. I have a whole new respect for Ben Affleck. As Loretta Nyhan said, Ben is ALWAYS good when he's in Boston. He should never make a movie anywhere else.

Jane Eyre perfectly captured the spirit of the book. Mia Wasikowska was the perfect Jane Eyre. When I think about the fact that Charlotte Brontë published this novel in 1847 I'm always completely blown away. Jane is so strong and brave and independent - to a fault. All of the things that women weren't supposed to be and of course, hopelessly in love with Mr. Rochester, a man with more baggage than a 747. The only thing that's missing is a Sassy Gay Friend parody. Let's get on that, Second City.

Life as We Know It was so so so so bad. Really, truly awful. I find Katherine Heigl's Type-A-know-it-all schtick exhausting. And watching her grind up organic baby food with the perfect smear of baby poop across one cheek made me want to stab someone with a DVD of 27 Dresses. This movie is free on HBO on Demand right now, and I would bet you my VHS copy of My Father the Hero (Now there's a Katherine Heigl I can get on board with...) that the 3rd Roecker sister will watch this movie at least 50 times if she hasn't already. Stacey has a soft spot for terrible movies.

In between watching movies I watched all of the amazing WriteOnCon vlogs and they are nothing short of amazing. Some of the most influential publishing professionals have created some truly amazing content for the conference this year and it's all FREE and it all starts tomorrow. Check out the final schedule and get excited. If you need us this week, you know where to find us.

Top 5 Things To Do BEFORE WriteOnCon 2011

2011-08-12T06:00:00.003-04:00

WriteOnCon 2011 is NEXT WEEK. We are back and bigger than ever this year with so much awesome that we might make your computer explode. Seriously.

So, if you're like us and you plan on sequestering yourself in your house for 3 straight days, there are a few things you should do to prepare yourself. Sort of like a bomb shelter, but with more snacks and (hopefully) without all the Apocalyptic nonsense.

1. Make a batch of these to keep children and husbands distracted while you're strapped to the computer for 72 hours. Chocolate, peanut butter and marshmallow go a LONG way.

2. Get in your comfiest PJs and feel free to wear them throughout the duration of the conference. Lucky for you, no one will be able to see (or smell) you while you're attending WriteOnCon! (Pound Puppies are totally optional, but Brownie sashes are encouraged. Troop 242 4 EVA!)

3. Enter The Reading Room / WriteOnCon $1,000 Writing Contest of Awesome for your chance to win $1,000 (duh!) and your very own author profile page at TheReadingRoom.com. The amazing literary agent Catherine Drayton is judging all of the entries and will select five finalists to post on The Reading Room's site. And you'll be able to vote on the winner starting August 18th! I have to say it's fascinating to see which entries Catherine likes the best. You won't want to miss this! The contest will close August 17th, so hurry up and submit your first 500 words TODAY!

4. Relive the awesome of WriteOnCon 2010 one last time before we start posting new content on August 16th. Dozens of agents, editors and authors share their best tips on writing, marketing and pursuing publication. If you're new to WriteOnCon or if you missed content last year, now is your chance to get caught up.

5. Sleep. You're going to need it because next week WriteOnCon is taking over your life. Don't try to fight it, just get ready to enjoy the ride! Be sure to check back Monday, we'll be posting the final schedule of events for the 2011 conference. Cue head explosions.

Bookanistas: EPIC FAIL and a GIVEAWAY!!!!!!!!

2011-08-11T06:00:00.007-04:00

Doesn't this cover just make you happy? And the title? Makes you smile, right? It's no wonder this book is flying off the shelves. And this is all before you've even read the back.

What the back cover has to say:

Will Elise’s love life be an epic win or an epic fail?

At Coral Tree Prep in Los Angeles, who your parents are can make or break you. Case in point:

As the son of Hollywood royalty, Derek Edwards is pretty much prince of the school—not that he deigns to acknowledge many of his loyal subjects.

As the daughter of the new principal, Elise Benton isn’t exactly on everyone’s must-sit-next-to-at-lunch list.

When Elise’s beautiful sister catches the eye of the prince’s best friend, Elise gets to spend a lot of time with Derek, making her the envy of every girl on campus. Except she refuses to fall for any of his rare smiles and instead warms up to his enemy, the surprisingly charming social outcast Webster Grant. But in this hilarious tale of fitting in and flirting, not all snubs are undeserved, not all celebrity brats are bratty, and pride and prejudice can get in the way of true love for only so long.

What LiLa has to say:

It's no secret that our first failed attempt at a book was an update of PRIDE AND PREJUDICE. It was called THE NORTH SHORE and it, my friends, was the most EPIC of fails. So naturally, when we heard that EPIC FAIL alluded to Jane Austen's classic plot, we were intrigued. And when we read it, it was all too clear exactly why our book fell so disastrously short.

For one, Claire Lazebnik created new characters with new traits and new motivations and new conflicts. And what she did so flawlessly was weave an ever-so-satisfying thread of familiarity through each of them so that if you're familiar with the classic, you'll share a secret. And if you're not, well, it doesn't matter. You'll enjoy the characters' stories just as much. Either way, you're going to have a ton of fun reading.

And while the plot again contains that magic thread, it is not a verbatim retelling, but a true update. This is exactly what readers are looking for. A fresh take on a classic plot! Plus, P&P is the love story of all love stories. EPIC FAIL does not disappoint. In our opinion, there aren't enough good love stories to go around and this one fits the bill. Overall it's a very smart, witty and modern take on the classic.

And because Claire is so amazingly awesome, she has offered to make one very lucky reader's day! Leave a comment naming YOUR modern Mr. Darcy and you'll be entered to win a signed copy of EPIC FAIL as well as an EPIC FAIL stress ball to combat all of the stress you'll definitely be feeling when you have to figure out what to wear on a hot date with your real-life Mr. Darcy equivalent.

Good luck!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson sings out for Chime

Matt Blackstone feels The Pull of Gravity

Scott Tracey is entranced by Daughter of Smoke and Bone

Carolina Valdez Miller marvels at The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Carrie Harris is spellbound by Possess

When Putting Words On Paper Feels Like Tiny Knives Ripping Out Pieces of Your Soul

2011-08-10T06:00:00.000-04:00

And not in a good way.

So, yeah. Writing isn't always easy.

But sometimes you have to write one soul crushing word at a time.

And it sucks.

This blog post is brought to you by our impending deadline.

XOXO,
L&L

Making the Leap

2011-08-09T06:00:00.002-04:00

It was almost exactly three years ago today that Laura and I decided to pursue our dream of becoming published writers. We knew next to nothing about how to write a decent novel, and less than nothing about the crazy mixed-up world of publishing. Like so many newbie writers, we thought we had the most genius, completely unique idea for a young adult novel EVER. In fact, we were sure that if we told anyone about our manuscript or showed our writing to another writer they would STEAL OUR IDEA. Yes, it was THAT good.

Uh, newsflash our idea and our writing sucked ass.

Serious ass.

But it took us a lot of months to figure that out and in order to get from point A to point B we had to take some risks.

Risks like sending our manuscript to beta readers (those poor, wretched souls), posting our query on writing forums like AbsoluteWrite and QueryTracker for feedback, entering first line contests on Nathan Bransford's blog and Secret Agent contests on Miss Snark's First Victim's blog. It wasn't easy to take these risks, but we did our research and we used blogs like Writer's Beware and Query Tracker to educate ourselves on what risks were worth taking.

Because here's the thing: If you don't take a risk and put yourself out there, chances are you'll never, ever get published.

NEVER.

There's not an author out there who got published without sending someone their manuscript. Whether it be a fellow writer, an editor, or an agent. If you want your book to be published you have to put it out there sometime. You have to take that risk.

Look, we get that writers have to protect themselves. We've heard the horror stories about dodgy agents and irreputable publishers. And we encourage every writer to do a lot of research before they decide how they're going to put their writing out into the world and who they're going to trust with their words. Because it's a HUGE deal.

But when an opportunity comes along involving reputable publishing professionals and well respected agents or if a random girl on a message board offers to read your manuscript after she ripped apart your query, do yourself (and your writing) a favor and TAKE A CHANCE.

It's called calculated risk. It reminds me a little bit of watching my daughter race my son to our car after a rainstorm. She'll stand in front of a puddle for a second and decide whether or not she can make it over. She's terrified of getting soaked, but she knows she's only going to win if she takes the leap. So she jumps. Sometimes she splashes mud everywhere and cries. But most of the time she makes it. And wins.