1. I am in love with Bert from the new season of Project Runway. I'd totally wear his winning dress. Well, after I finish growing an additional five inches, lose fifteen pounds and approximately three cup sizes.
2. Lisa has assured me that her new hair stylist will give me Victoria's Secret hair. For the record, my hair sucks. It's thick and frizzy and wavy because it doesn't know what else to do with itself. I'm thinking this is not going to happen.
3. Every night at around 11:30, I indulge in an ice cream sandwich. It's a new tradition.
4. Lydia is going through the "I refuse to say sorry or thank you or hello or goodbye" stage. She's also been consistently talking like a baby. It's charming.
5. After an entire weekend of desperate procrastination that included watching Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps AND about 10 episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey, I finally sent my chapter back to Laura. So happy that it's now her turn to feel like a worthless slacker.
6. If I drank a sip of my wine every time Melissa Gorga screeches, "Baby Jesus's birthday!" in the thickest New Jersey accent you've ever heard in your life on the Christmas episode of RHNJ, I would have been WASTED.
7. Sometimes I look forward to my day job because I get to string words together without thinking about plot and character and voice and tense.
8. I'm scared for Jack to start Kindergarten mainly because I'm completely unprepared. I think he has to wear a uniform, but I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure I have some paperwork to fill out, but I have no idea where it is. Something tells me our meager income from The Lies That Bind will not end up covering Jack's therapy bills.
9. While Laura's daughter Lydia sits quietly in her room admiring the princess dress they ordered for her Halloween costume, Mia announces that she wants a buzz cut and she's going to be Batman for Halloween this year. So much for besties.
10. I have so many books that I'm supposed to be reading, but the only thing I really want to read is our beta ninja's manuscript.
Ok, you know the drill. What's your truth this Tuesday? We like 'em extra juicy, so please feel free to overshare in the comments.
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