1. I am in love with Bert from the new season of Project Runway. I'd totally wear his winning dress. Well, after I finish growing an additional five inches, lose fifteen pounds and approximately three cup sizes.
2. Lisa has assured me that her new hair stylist will give me Victoria's Secret hair. For the record, my hair sucks. It's thick and frizzy and wavy because it doesn't know what else to do with itself. I'm thinking this is not going to happen.
3. Every night at around 11:30, I indulge in an ice cream sandwich. It's a new tradition.
4. Lydia is going through the "I refuse to say sorry or thank you or hello or goodbye" stage. She's also been consistently talking like a baby. It's charming.
5. After an entire weekend of desperate procrastination that included watching Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps AND about 10 episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey, I finally sent my chapter back to Laura. So happy that it's now her turn to feel like a worthless slacker.
6. If I drank a sip of my wine every time Melissa Gorga screeches, "Baby Jesus's birthday!" in the thickest New Jersey accent you've ever heard in your life on the Christmas episode of RHNJ, I would have been WASTED.
7. Sometimes I look forward to my day job because I get to string words together without thinking about plot and character and voice and tense.
8. I'm scared for Jack to start Kindergarten mainly because I'm completely unprepared. I think he has to wear a uniform, but I'm not sure. I'm pretty sure I have some paperwork to fill out, but I have no idea where it is. Something tells me our meager income from The Lies That Bind will not end up covering Jack's therapy bills.
9. While Laura's daughter Lydia sits quietly in her room admiring the princess dress they ordered for her Halloween costume, Mia announces that she wants a buzz cut and she's going to be Batman for Halloween this year. So much for besties.
10. I have so many books that I'm supposed to be reading, but the only thing I really want to read is our beta ninja's manuscript.
Ok, you know the drill. What's your truth this Tuesday? We like 'em extra juicy, so please feel free to overshare in the comments.
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Don't call this a comeback
So it’s been a minute. Or 10. Or truthfully more like 2,102,400. At least we think that’s how many minutes there are in 3 years, but let...
11 comments:
My truth: I have made an idiot out of myself with two agents over the phone in the last week. I am going to be a train wreck when it comes to SCBWI LA in two days. I have to stop talking incessantly. Sigh.
My truth:
I CAN'T. TURN OFF. A BABY STORY.
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH.
Not sure I have a juicy one. I tried to take BEFORE and AFTER pictures of myself to go with the "makeover" theme of my WriteOnCon article and my AFTER pictures came out looking no better than my before. Sad.
I am in the revising cave for my WIP and when I write, I rip my cuticles apart. Very sexy look. Band-aids are the only true blocker from my picking.
So.
On Saturday I went out in public--more specifically--to my son's ice hockey game with FIVE band-aids on my fingers.
I had a few stares but I came home with un-bloody fingers. Win.
I didn't get my vlog done yesterday...because I was lame...and I kind of went to see Harry Potter again. Nothing like seeing a the book of perhaps the most amazing children's writer of all time on the big screen to make you think..."Geez. i really have no idea what I am talking about."
Ha! At least you could make coherent sentences when you went back to work. My first day back as a drug rep resulted in total gibberish. Yeah, it didn't leave quite the impression with the physician as I had hoped. I should have told him I was with the competition. :D
Yes! I loved Bert's dress! Sucked in again after only one episode. Even made the husband watch it. He was hoping Miss Trinidad (sorry, Miss Trinidad, I'm blanking on your name) would win. ;)
Tuesday truth? The nerd in me is addicted to Monday night television: Eureka, Alphas (which I love, especially Gary. Totally wasn't expecting that), and Teen Wolf. Thanks, DVR!
My mom is coming to visit this week and I am taking a day off ahead of time to clean and then lie and say I didn't so I can pretend my house always looks great.
That is all.
LOL, gotta love that "i'm too good to be appreciative stage."
omg, Melissa kills me. "We buy over the top gifts BECAUSE ITS BABY JESUS' BIRTHDAY!!" Baby Jesus apparently supports greed as long as it's in the Garden State.
While pouring over Hawaii-vacay brochures, my 8 year old, Liam announces that he would much rather we just "buy a goat instead of take a vacation." WTF? Pretty sure he was switched at birth.
I chopped all of my hair off and colored it almost black. Because that's what crazy hormonal preggo people do, right? Emma Watson, I am not with this hair.
A goat? Really?
1. I am jealous of tan people and have started getting spray tans to save my client's pupils from the glare that is my legs.
2. I no longer give a fuck if I have a full face full of make up on and it is kinda freeing.
3. I should wear a face full of makeup as my infant daughter likes to wake up at 1 and talk and cry until about 4. New thing.
4. I may have text my husband, who is camping during infant daughter's new nighttime chatter, something mean and slightly abusive at 3 a.m.
5. I still wear my c-section bondage garment at night hoping it will restructure my DNA and give me a Barbie doll waist.
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