Small Town Laughs

The two times a week that our local paper is delivered, my husband and I fight over the pages. Well, one page in particular. The Police Reports. There is always at least one blurb that makes us laugh out loud and a few that go down in history.
Here's our favorite from this week...

A Lakedge Court resident said he heard suspicious yelling nearby Sept. 7. The resident said a female yelled, "Go, go, go!" loudly, which sounded to him like an argument that was escalating. Police discovered a woman urging her reluctant dog to go outside in the rain, according to the police report.

Niiiice.

And here are the two that go down in history from last year...

A 26-year-old woman summoned police Oct. 22 after she spotted a large spider on the dashboard of her vehicle at 2:52 p.m. The driver immediately pulled off Darrow Road and called 911 for an officer's assistance, according to police records.

The officer reported the female was standing at the roadside on Darrow Road with all the doors on her vehicle ajar. The woman said the spider was most likely poisonous since it was yellow and black. She said it was first observed on her dashboard and last seen crawling underneath her driver's seat. The officer did not find the spider after a thorough search.

The officer reassured the woman that the spider probably was not poisonous, and she left the scene without incident, according to police reports.

And our number one fave. Drum roll please...

A Sullivan Road resident called police to report a "suspicious package" on his front porch Nov. 2 at 3:20 p.m. The resident said he observed an unknown person leave the package and called police, according to the police report. The officer said he could see the package was clearly labeled with the Amazon.com logo and asked the man if he had ordered anything from the firm recently.

The man reportedly said "Why yes, I did."

The officer told the resident his order had arrived. The resident then said he was comfortable opening the box. The officer then left the scene, according to the report.

We're almost postive the reporters at the paper choose the most ridiculous ones to print. They must have so much fun at work.

Bookanistas: SOMETHING LIKE HOPE and a GIVEAWAY

I've had my eye on this book for a long, long time. It just sounded like such an inspirational story and I couldn't wait to get my hands on it. Turns out SOMETHING LIKE HOPE is all of the above and SO much more.

What the back cover has to say:

17-year-old Shavonne has been in juvenile detention since the seventh grade. Mr Delpopolo is the first counselor to treat her as an equal, and he helps her get to the bottom of her self-destructive behavior, her guilt about past actions, and her fears about leaving the Center when she turns 18. Shavonne tells him the truth about her crack-addicted mother, the child she had (and gave up to foster care) at fifteen, and the secret shame she feels about what she did to her younger brother after her mother abandoned them. Meanwhile, Shavonne's mentally unstable roommate Cinda makes a rash move, and Shavonne's quick thinking saves her life—and gives her the opportunity to get out of the Center if she behaves well. But Shavonne's faith is tested when her new roommate, mentally retarded and pregnant Mary, is targeted by a guard as a means to get revenge on Shavonne. As freedom begins to look more and more likely, Shavonne begins to believe that maybe she, like the goslings recently hatched on the Center's property, could have a future somewhere else—and she begins to feel something like hope.


What Lila has to say:

I can't describe this book without using the word "heartbreaking." And what's even more difficult to comprehend is the fact that this story may not be fiction to 93,000 boys and girls across the country who occupied residential centers at the time the book was written. In fact, Shawn Goodman has worked in several juvenile facilities like the one in the book, so I imagine he pulled from his own experience to write Shavonne's story.

And there's no doubt in my mind that this book will win additional awards (Shawn has already won the Delacorte Press Prize for a First Young Adult Novel, as seen on the cover). Shavonne's voice is pitch-perfect and Mr. Delpopolo, her counselor throughout the book, could have been sitting across the table from me the way he jumped right off the page. I absolutely loved the tension at having the opportunity to be inside Shavonne's head while at the same time witnessing her actions, which were often directly in conflict of one another. Throughout the course of the novel, she is hiding something and as I turned each page, I was urging her to let Mr. Delpopolo in so that he could help her move forward and could teach her how to heal. I grew attached to say the least.

I've already emailed many of my teacher friends to spread the word about this beautiful book. It would be a great conversation starter in 7th-12th grade and will be a great source of inspiration for students who may be struggling to find their way. Shavonne's story will break your heart, but will also leave you feeling incredibly hopeful. It's the perfect reminder of how lucky we all are to have friends and family members who love us and a life where we feel safe. It also leaves me very inspired to spread some love around.

So here's the deal. One lucky commenter will win a brand new copy of SOMETHING LIKE HOPE. But here's the catch. After you read it, you must donate it to a school or a shelter or hand it off to a young person you know who might benefit from a little hope in their lives. Deal? Deal. Oh...and then we want to hear about it, of course! We want to know if you loved the book as much as us and where the copy ended up.

Leave a comment for a chance to win!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson is in a tizzy over Texas Gothic

Christine Fonseca  is transformed by Shifting

Shannon Whitney Messenger takes a shine to So Silver Bright – with giveaway

Scott Tracey is on board for Starship Academy

Beth Revis shouts about The Name of the Star

Shana Silver loves Lola and the Boy Next Door

Rosemary Clement Moore is distracted by Alien Invasion & Other Inconveniences

Sarah Frances Hardy adores Birdie’s Big Girl Dress

Stasia Ward Kehoe takes a fancy to Fracture

Carolina Valdez Miller goes gaga for Glow and Shifting – with giveaway

Tuesday's Truth Continued

She broke me down. Lisa has that effect sometimes.

LiLa's knocked up. Again. What does this mean?

• I have prego brain and as a result am the most worthless writing partner on the face of the planet.
• I sleep a lot.
• This commercial makes me cry. Every time. It also compels me to place large boxes of Pampers diapers into my cart every trip to Target. Well played, Pampers. Well played.
• One second I feel November can't come fast enough. The next, I'm freaking about the pace at which November is approaching.
• I get to make lots of excuses all in the vein of, "But I'm pregnant!"

Can't wait to introduce the newest member of our family in a few months...all of the above will still hold true with a newborn. Ahh, the beauty of the cycle of life.

Tell The Truth Tuesday

1. Sometimes I like the friends we've made because we started writing better than the business of publishing.

2. We only have one chapter left in The Lies That Bind and I'm sort of scared to write it. It's a BIG chapter and I just keep starting at my flashing cursor hoping it will write itself. Laura loves me right now.

3. Remember when I swore I'd never, ever wear skinny jeans? I lied. That probably means they're  out of style already.

4. Laura has a big secret she hasn't shared on the blog. I feel like it's time to out her. Yes? Maybe. She's going to kill me.

5. I will never, ever forget this article.

What's your truth this Tuesday? I command you to tell all in the comments.

Monday Morning Dance Party

So I've decided that every Monday we'll post a random song on the blog for you musical enjoyment and I asked Laura if she had any suggestions for this week's post. Here's how that conversation went:


Laura: love this idea!
Laura: how about lucky now by ryan adams
Laura: i love ryan adams
Lisa: all of his songs sound the same to me
Lisa: ooh, that's not bad
Lisa: i haven't heard this one
Lisa: i'll post it
Laura: i love it when i'm right
Lisa: he sounds different!
Laura: it's a new cd
Lisa: way to grow, Ryan Adams
Laura: i also love david grey
Laura: gray?
Lisa: of course you do.
Laura: ALL of my music sounds the same
Lisa: it really does
Lisa: it's like one long sound track of middle child angst
Laura: it really is

So...I decided to post two songs this morning. If you want to spend your entire day in bed, sobbing about your general insignificance in a world full of cruelty and heartbreak, listen to Laura's pick by Ryan Adams.




However, if you plan on being a fully functioning member of society and you've already had at least one cup of coffee here's one of my faves. Ironically, it's a very happy song about being so depressed you don't want to leave your bed.




Happy Monday!

WINNER, WINNER!!!

Thank you to the hundreds of aspiring authors who submitted their work for consideration in The Reading Room/WriteOnCon Aspiring Authors Contest. The competition was "fierce" (to quote fellow YA author Tyra Banks) and it was extremely difficult to narrow the entries to the top five.

Congratulations to our top five deserving contestants who made the judges' final decision very difficult. For those who didn’t get the chance to read these five entries you can still access them until the end of September by visiting http://www.thereadingroom.com/writeoncons/competition.

And now, without further ado...

Please put your hands together for Linda Jackson and her novel A PLACE TO CALL HOME.

Linda, you will receive $1,000 with compliments from TheReadingRoom.com, and can spend your $1000 on icecream or an iPad, pencils or a pile of books--whatever your heart desires. You've also landed yourself an author profile page on The Reading Room, the best place to connect with like-minded readers and share your passion for books.

And now we must leave everyone with two very important words. WRITE. ON.

The Bookanistas: A Two-fer Giveaway WITCH EYES and WILDEFIRE

If you like witches, goddesses and/or heat, (lots and lots of heat) today is your lucky day because we're giving away two of the hottest books on the planet.

And they'll both be signed.

By Scott Tracey.

He only wrote one of the books.

It's kind of a long story.

So...first things first....

WITCH EYES by Scott Tracey officially debuts today and to celebrate we're giving away a signed copy. 

Here's what the back cover has to say:

A boy who can see the world's secrets and unravel spells with just a glance.

Braden's witch eyes give him an enormous power. A mere look causes a kaleidoscopic explosion of emotions, memories, darkness, and magic. But this rare gift is also his biggest curse.

Compelled to learn about his shadowed past and the family he never knew, Braden is drawn to the city of Belle Dam, where he is soon caught between two feuding witch dynasties. Sworn rivals Catherine Lansing and Jason Thorpe will use anything--lies, manipulation, illusion, and even murder--to seize control of Braden's powers. To stop an ancient evil from destroying the town, Braden must master his gift, even through the shocking discovery that Jason is his father. While his feelings for an enigmatic boy named Trey grow deeper, Braden realizes a terrible truth: Trey is Catherine Lansing's son . . . and Braden may be destined to kill him.

LiLa's Take:
Welcome to Belle Dam, bitches. A word of advice: Do not pick up WITCH EYES if you have any remotely pressing obligations because you will not want to put this book down. Between the feuding families, the crazy critters and the the chemistry between Braden and Trey there is something for everyone in this book. The twisty plot will have you turning pages and the engaging cast of characters will leave you begging for more. And the kissing scene??? I won't go into details, because you'll know it when you read it. One word for you: SaWoon.

Judge this book by its cover?
Hell. Yes. It's perfection. Creepy, intriguing and gorgeous - just like the book itself. Everyone needs a copy of WITCH EYES on their bookshelf. Total shelf candy.

Up next is the hilarious Karsten Knight's debut, WILDEFIRE.

Here's what the back cover has to say:

Every flame begins with a spark.

Ashline Wilde is having a rough sophomore year. She’s struggling to find her place as the only Polynesian girl in school, her boyfriend just cheated on her, and now her runaway sister, Eve, has decided to barge back into her life. When Eve’s violent behavior escalates and she does the unthinkable, Ash transfers to a remote private school nestled in California’s redwoods, hoping to put the tragedy behind her. But her fresh start at Blackwood Academy doesn’t go as planned. Just as Ash is beginning to enjoy the perks of her new school—being captain of the tennis team, a steamy romance with a hot, local park ranger—Ash discovers that a group of gods and goddesses have mysteriously enrolled at Blackwood…and she’s one of them. To make matters worse, Eve has resurfaced to haunt Ash, and she’s got some strange abilities of her own. With a war between the gods looming over campus, Ash must master the new fire smoldering within before she clashes with her sister one more time… And when warm and cold fronts collide, there’s guaranteed to be a storm.


LiLa's Take:
Gods and goddesses as you've never seen them before. I LOVED ASH. Finally a self-confident, kick ass narrator who's way too busy dealing with her crazy sister to waste too much time mooning around about boys. Honestly, I'm pretty sure The Regulator would want to adopt this little Volcano goddess and make her do useful things like light fires in the fireplace and take the candles in birthday cakes to a whole new level. The characters are diverse, quick witted and sexy and holy twist Batman, the last scene will leave you stalking poor Karsten for the next book in the series.

Judge this book by its cover? Obviously. It's hot, the book is hot. Win. Win.

As much as we love teasing you with fantastic books every week, this time we're taking pity on our poor blog readers and giving both of these amazing books to one lucky reader. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on this post. Good luck!!!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson shares some book love for Random Acts of Publicity Week

LiLa Roecker is wild about a double giveaway of Witch Eyes and Wildefire

Christine Fonseca  thinks you should Write Your Book Now!

Shannon Whitney Messenger  loves Legend – with signed arc giveaway

Scott Tracey: Today is Witch Eyes release day – wowza!

Jessi Kirby gets inside Sean Griswold’s Head

Sarah Frances Hardy applauds Lottie Paris Lives Here

Stasia Ward Kehoe marvels at The Unbecoming of Mara Dyer

Write YA? Watch This Show.

Scott Tracey told me I'd love this show.

He was right.

It's hilarious and a little too close to my high school experience for comfort.

Enjoy.

Awkward. - MTV Shows

PS: Today is the last day to vote on a winner for The Reading Room/WriteOnCon Aspiring Author Competition. The winner will be announced tomorrow so go forth and VOTE!

Monday Morning Dance Party*

Last night I was driving home and it had been a really difficult day. It felt like there was a steel band wrapped around my ribcage, being pulled tighter and tighter. It was just one of those moments where everything wrong in my life piled up right in the center of my chest.

Not gonna lie, all that shit makes it really hard to breathe.

So I'm in the middle of a mini-panic attack and I just happened to have this amazingly random indie radio station on in the background. Out of nowhere this song came on. And in that moment it sort of felt like this song saved my life. It was like maybe if the perfect song happens to come on at the perfect moment for a girl who just happens to be driving home and freaking out, anything is possible.

It's moments like this that make me believe in guardian angels and fate and happy endings and higher powers. 

This is that song.

I dare you not to dance.

*Um, yeah, it's Tuesday. Thanks Matt for pointing that out to me. Carry on.

Your Weekly Dose of Random Celebrity Commentary

It's Friday y'all (I don't actually say y'all in real life, but I often wish I was the type of person who could say y'all and not sound like a total tool. Alas, I am not that person.) and you know what that means...It's time for your weekly run down of celeb happenings according to LiLa.

Oh Jess, Jess, Jess, I can't even really see this dress, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that it's deeply unflattering and all wrong for your gorgeous figure. Your look brings back fond memories of t-shirts I made at an overnight girl scout camp in 6th grade and that experience ended with me crying in the nurse's office because I couldn't bring myself to poop in a latrine. So, yeah, let's just say I'm pretty confident that this won't end well.

As you know, I'm slightly obsessed with Glee and more than slightly obsessed with Puck. But this picture has me a little concerned about the upcoming season. Let's be real here. Puck looks 35. Putting him in a letter jacket is not going to change that.

This photo confirms a deep-seated suspicion I've always had that Marilyn Manson is really, really cool. Based on John Hamm's SNL appearance it's pretty clear that he's hilarious and doesn't take himself seriously at all and the fact that he's hamming (pun TOTALLY intended) it up with M squared leads me to believe that he's in the same camp. Honestly, I've never really given up hope that Marilyn is actually Paul from The Wonder Years who made a career out of punking the music industry. Thank you, US Weekly for keeping my dream alive.

Taylor Swift looks like a lost fairy roaming the earth in just about every picture taken of her. The girl just glows.

Three cheers for the Tis! More often than not she ends up looking like an aging tranny on the red carpet and this understated, natural look suits her. Give your stylist a bonus! And please for the love of God, pass her contact info along to J. Simp.

I need only look at this picture for the briefest of seconds to have my hate tank for Katherine Heigl completely refueled.

George Clooney. On a boat. I saw this picture and then went back and watched all the Old Spice ads on YouTube.

Have a wonderful long weekend everyone! We'll be back next week with....words. And pictures. And lots of random ramblings.

XOXO,
L&L

The Bookanistas: The Day Before

Full disclosure...we've always been a little scared of novels in verse. When we had the opportunity to read Audition by Stasia Kehoe (which releases next month, more on this to come), we were introduced to a brand new world. And you know what? We're not afraid anymore. In fact, I couldn't wait to dig in to The Day Before for this very reason.

What the back cover has to say:

Amber’s life is spinning out of control. All she wants is to turn up the volume on her iPod until all of the demands of family and friends fade away. So she sneaks off to the beach to spend a day by herself.


Then Amber meets Cade. Their attraction is instant, and Amber can tell he’s also looking for an escape. Together they decide to share a perfect day: no pasts, no fears, no regrets.

The more time that Amber spends with Cade, the more she’s drawn to him. And the more she’s troubled by his darkness. Because Cade’s not just living in the now—he’s living each moment like it’s his last.

What Lila has to say:

Oh, the hook, you guys, the HOOK! Girl runs away from her own problems only to run into a stranger who carries an equal amount of baggage, if not more. I absolutely love the concept of two people connecting over the course of a day, not to mention broken people with secrets. So all of this works together to drive the plot--not only do you devour each page to discover what these characters are hiding, but you tear through the book to discover how their relationship is going to evolve. I mean, how romantic! Two strangers cross paths and their lives are forever changed.

But what is most incredible is how Lisa is able to tell the story using perfectly chosen words, rhythm and visual elements where the words practically dance along the page in some instances. It's incredibly creative and extremely impressive that all elements of a story come together in so few words--it's the intentional nature of each carefully selected word that is the true inspiration for a fellow writer. I really, really enjoyed the entire experience of reading this book.

So, yeah, you might call me a fan. I've read Lisa's middle grade, It's Raining Cupcakes, which I really enjoyed and can't wait to dig into the rest of her collection of stories. SOLD.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson succumbs to The Eleventh Plague

Shannon Whitney Messenger swoons over Flyaway by Lucy Christopher – with giveaway

Scott Tracey is overwhelmed by A Vast Field of Ordinary

Jessi Kirby wonders at What Happened to Goodbye

Shana Silver is mesmerized by Possess

Corrine Jackson’s Blogiversary celebration continues with more YA Authors on Lessons Learned

Stasia Ward Kehoe ponders the issue of plot spoilers in book reviews – with giveaway

Veronica Rossi says bravo to Daughter of Smoke and Bone