Saturday, January 31, 2009

It's good to be home...

Lisa posts a lot of vents. So here's mine.

John and I had a fun-filled Saturday planned--a trip to the DMV to officially become Ohio residents/drivers. My thorough husband had me call ahead five million times to figure out what we needed to bring, what time they opened and other random questions. We were prepared.

The second we walked in, we learned that the title place was closed on Saturdays. You think maybe someone could have told me that during one of my five million calls? A little steam came out of John's ears.

Next, we had to take the written portion of the driver's test. Panic washed over me as I thought back to the last time I'd taken the driver's test. That year, I turned 16 in February, but didn't get my license till the end of the summer. I failed maneuverability three times. Today when I took the written portion, if you got 11 questions wrong you failed. This little counter on the bottom of the screen tracked your incorrect questions. At one point, I'd gotten 9 questions wrong and had 12 questions left. Lovely. Do you know what percentage of sun must shine through tinted windows? It's 70%. Who the hell cares? It sounded like John was having some problems a few computers down from me as well. I heard him swearing.

Luckily, we both passed. Barely.

Now for the license.

Lady: I need your Social Security card and previous license.

I handed them over.

Lady: I see you got married since last living in Ohio.

Me: Yes.

Lady: I need your marriage license.

Fabulous, because it's at home.

Me: I already did all that in Maryland when we got married. Social Security and the license people had to see my marriage license before they gave them to me.

Lady: I know it seems silly, but the state says I have to see the marriage license too.


I am convinced that the state of Ohio is run by a bevy of three-year-olds. But I don't discriminate. The state of Maryland is run by a bunch of imbeciles too. When I started teaching 6th grade there, I got a letter saying I had to go back to school and get my elementary certification because I was only certified to teach middle school. What????

So...I'm off to the DMV again...marriage license in tow. We are never moving again.

Friday, January 30, 2009

More Gmail...

Because Gmail is pretty much our life right now, here's another excerpt from the book.


I shot up in bed and wiped the sweat from my face. I was having a dream where no matter how loud I tried to scream, no sound came out. Not sure why I needed to scream.

My laptop glowed in the darkness, which was strange because I specifically remembered shutting it down before going to bed. The annoying fanning sound it made throughout the night drove me crazy, and the screen cast an eerie, blue light throughout my room that always freaked me out.

As soon as my heart caught up with my brain, it started pounding. I inched towards my desk and narrowed my eyes at the computer.

I had mail.

Sent: Tue 9/23/08 1:03 AM
Subject: Re: I screwed up…

I can’t say much.
Her house is haunted.
I’m with the ghost.

Look in the garden.

I felt like screaming, but when I opened my mouth, no sound came out.


Creepy, right? I've always been a little bit freaked out by dark rooms lit only by a computer screen and after writing this book, I'm very careful about shutting my computer down at night.

What do you guys think? Scary or cliche?

Burning eyes and typing fingers...

Work is crazy, Gmail is practically writing itself (weird, right?) and I'm going to be busy playing single mom for the whole weekend.

I will say that I just read Laura's most recent Gmail chapter and red-headed, Seth Green-look- alike side-kicks are totally the new black.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

One morph coming right up...

I stumbled upon this little gem of a website and was quite amused, so I thought I'd share. If Justin Timberlake and a tiger had a baby, this is what it would grow up to be...

Unfortunately, when I tried to morph our sister Stacey with Salma Hayek, the result was a snaggle-toothed Salma look-alike. I guess it only works if you keep your mouth closed during pictures. Gosh Stacey, stop smiling so much.

Two blog posts in one day is a record for me. I better not go crazy considering I'm on my own in a few weeks when Lisa jets off to the Bahamas.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Silly Celebrities...

Buying a house has had me pretty busy these days, but I'm back in a big way. Just kidding. Lisa's post yesterday put me under some serious pressure. I hope I won't disappoint. Here's a little something I wrote after being inspired by Us Magazine's website. Enjoy.

Silly Celebrities

Congrats to Jess for the extra l.b.s,
But lose the double belt and mom jeans please.

Brad, it’s hard to believe you’ve stooped this low,
Your kid’s really cute but the matching caps blow.

Oh! Alba stop crying, we know Bill’s a prick,
When you use words like “salient” it proves you're smart as a whip.

When I looked at this picture I almost forgot,
Your cuffed rolled up jean look, well okay, maybe not.

As fun as the pictures on Us’ website are,
the comments from real people trump them by far.

Anonymous said, “Jessica’s meant to be fat,”
“leave my chunk chunk alone” and left it at that.

That’s all she wrote, but the cameras are flashing,
I’ll be back next week for more celebrity trashing.

Nothing to Chucking blog about...

1. Gossip Girl and 90210 are repeats this week. I think the CW needs to start some type of fund where we can all contribute to avoid having to watch Gossip Girl repeats. I'd gladly chip in $5 to further that cause. I mean, how am I supposed to think of something interesting to post on the blog without the benefit of some Chuck Bass quotes?

2. I've been working on setting my career goals for the next year and I've been provided with options that meet, exceed or consistently exceed expectations. I'm tempted to ask for the goals for employees seeking to do the bare minimum to avoid being terminated.

3. Gmail is flowing beautifully. Our editing hiatus is over (thank God, I really hate editing) and we're back to writing. I keep reading and re-reading what we wrote wondering what everyone is going to think of this book. We love the characters and the story so much that it's hard to imagine anyone NOT liking them. If only we were half as good as we think we are, we'd have a six-figure deal by now.

4. Have I mentioned the Fug Girls are WAY funnier than I am? Their take on Angelina amuses me.

5. Big day tomorrow. My better half is blogging! We are launching a very exciting weekly blog feature that Laura is going to write every Wednesday. Check back tomorrow to finally hear from the blond half of the L&L team. If you like random beat poetry (and really, who doesn't like random beat poetry??), you won't be disappointed. Trust me.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Random Rant on Angelina Jolie

I really, really dislike Angelina Jolie. I actually always have. Sure she's drop-dead gorgeous, but there's always something about her that I just don't like. I've never really been able to put my finger on it. For a while I thought it might have something to do with her making out with her brother (weird) or perhaps because she carried around a vile of Billy Bob Thornton's blood for a few years (really, really weird), but to be honest, I sort of felt guilty for hating her because she actually does do a lot of amazing charity work.

I saw a quick interview with her on the Red Carpet tonight and I finally figured out what bugs me about Angelina. OK, full disclosure, the interviewer was Giulianna Dipandi (Rancic?) who I think we can all agree is one of the most malnourished, annoying creatures on the planet. She asked completely ridiculous questions like "how do you choose your dresses for award shows?" and "what has Brad taught you?"

Angelina had this saccharine smile on her face the whole time and there were a few nail biting moments where I thought she might punch Giulianna, which would have been AWESOME and maybe made me hate her a little less. But instead of doing something badass and real she acted like she was too cool for school. No self-deprecation, no laughter about the randomness of award shows. Nothing remotely likable about her. Instead she did her usual, I'm SO above all this celebrity bullshit, you should be grateful that you are in my hallowed presence routine.

Ugh. I just can't stand people that take themselves too seriously. Life is short, don't be afraid to make fun of yourself every once in a while. And for God's sake, you're an actress who has been nominated for zillions of awards and you've even got an Oscar (or two) sitting on your mantle. Can't you just pretend to be like Giulianna for a night? Or ACT like a normal person? Seriously.

You do some amazing things with your time and money, but Mother Theresa you are not.

End rant.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Procrastinating again...

You can always tell when it's my turn to edit because I start posting hourly on the blog. It's still writing, so it has to count for something, right?

Anyways, our friend Jill Wheeler (who has a FABULOUS excerpt of her latest work on her blog that makes me green with jealousy) asked a great question about how Laura and I write together.

The truth is, writing together is easy for us. To be perfectly honest, I don't think I'm smart enough or talented enough to write on my own. Plus writer's block is never an issue because whenever I get stuck on something I just send it to Laura. And my favorite part about writing together is getting a chapter that Laura just wrote. It's like reading a whole new book and it gets me excited to continue our story.

And of course, there's also a teeny tiny element of competition. After all, we are sisters. So whenever Laura sends me a great chapter that she's written, it totally makes me want to write a better, funnier, more entertaining chapter afterwards. You know, just to show her who's boss.

There are a few other things that make it particularly easy for the two of us to write together.
  1. We plot out the book together and outline each chapter together. So we always have a basic idea of what's supposed to be happening in each chapter. Of course, our outlines are usually pretty vague and we both tend to interpret things differently, but that's half the fun.
  2. We both have different strengths as writers, so we balance each other out. Laura is always good about capturing the details and setting the scene, while I tend to write the random one-liners and witty (well, that's what I keep telling myself anyways) observations. We have a process where I write one chapter, Laura edits that chapter and then writes the next chapter and sends it back to me. So we do a lot of editing as we go that helps us create a unified voice and balances our writing.
  3. We like a lot of the same things and we have a similar sense of humor, so it's rare that either of us reads something the other person writes and says, "Man, that sucks. What were you thinking?"
  4. We encourage each other along the way. One of the best things about writing as a team is that whenever I send a chapter to Laura she calls me and tells me how great it was, and vice versa. And while we're obviously totally biased (and huge dorks) the fact that someone else has confidence in our work always keeps us going.

So what about the rest of you writers? Don't you get lonely writing all by yourself? I can't imagine writing and querying a book without my partner in crime.

Did you miss me?

I mean, it's not really Friday unless you've read some totally random post by yours truly, right?

Sadly, I'm a total idiot and broke my work laptop on Thursday night. Crunched the screen with my Blackberry - oops. So, I actually had to venture into the office. At this point, I think I can actually hear the collective gasps of everyone who knows me because you all know that I NEVER go into the office. I avoid the office like the plague. In fact, I think the last time I was there was back in June. It's actually a little embarrassing - especially since I had to show up with a crunched laptop screen, begging for a loaner until they could repair it. The fact that everyone was so nice about it and went out of their way to help me out only made me feel more guilty.

Anyways, thank God for Tara who lives relatively close to my office and agreed to take the kids for an hour while I fetched the loaner. So we ended up spending the whole day with team McKendry and we all had dinner together last night. All in all a great Friday.

Last night I finally sent Laura an updated version of the first chapter. We'll see what she thinks...we're struggling to balance our voice with all of the suspense in the book, and I think we've finally found a happy medium. TBD.

FNL made me cry AGAIN last night. Coach Taylor helping Smash - there's just something so inspiring about that relationship. And Tim dropping his pants in the kitchen was so classic and SO hot. Last weekend we had a big family dinner with my parents, my in-laws and the sisters and kiddies. FNL came up and everyone was talking about how much they loved the show and Laura out of nowhere goes, "Tim Riggins is so effing hot" and the conversation just screeched to a halt. Hilariously inappropriate and obviously true.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thursday randomness

I'm exhausted and my brain is mush, so just a few random thoughts for you today...

  • What did Hilary Swank do to the writers of the Office?
  • Am I the only person in America not watching American Idol? I hate that show.
  • If anyone was wondering, based on our rather limited experience, apparently ASAP in agent-ese means not likely to hear back anytime soon. Just an FYI.
  • A few betas have read the first act of Gmail and have given us tons of great feedback. V. exciting.
  • Editing is hard. Way harder than writing.
  • I've slowly been identifying Cleveland moms who watch Gossip Girl and don't scrapbook, and I'm proud to say that this has proved to be a surprisingly good screening process for potential friends.
  • My girl crush on Michelle Obama is in full swing. I can't stop thinking of the white dress she wore to all of the inauguration parties. Perfection.
  • The more I write, the less I like my job. This is not a good trend.

Well, that's all she wrote for me tonight. My eyes are already burning from sleep deprivation, so I think I might actually make it in bed before 1 AM - unless Laura sends me a new draft of Gmail...Hey, I've got priorities, ok? I'll sleep when we hit the bestseller list.

Too much information..

Lost is back. Sawyer's shirt got sucked into the space-time continuum. So much to process, I'm scared if I think too hard I might end up with one of those nasty nose bleeds.

Must sleep. How good is this show? Seriously.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

When dreams come true...

Like most Americans I've been completely focused on the inauguration today. We're literally watching history unfold. I'm not a good enough writer to truly capture the importance and exhilaration of this single moment in time, but while I was watching the coverage I heard a woman and fellow mother express it perfectly.

She had her kids with her and they were all bundled up in their coats. As soon as I saw her I started to tear up. What an amazing mother, wanting her kids to experience a piece of history live.

When interviewed and asked why she had brought them here she told the reporter:

"The day after Obama won the election, I woke up and told my children 'While you were asleep, Martin Luther King Jr's dream came true.'"

Isn't that beautiful? History according to a mother.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Always the bridesmaid...

Very exciting news! We got an honorable mention in Colleen Lindsay's Query in 140 Characters or Less Contest! You'll uh have to scroll down a little bit to see our submission. We're "the best of the rest" baby and don't you forget it.

Too bad it's frowned upon to query agents via Twitter because we'd be ready to rock...

Oh well..big thanks to Colleen for thinking of such a fun way for us to procrastinate.

Kicking Some Mother-Chucking Ass

No quote from Chuck this week, just the satisfaction of knowing that he can kick some serious butt! And give me the warm and fuzzies. Loved it.

And Blair is going black ops!? Good god, what does that even mean? I can't wait to find out.

Anyone want to take bets on whether we get any e-mails tomorrow? Our inbox has been depressingly empty lately. It's making me itchy. At least when we send queries it feels like we're actively doing something to get published. Waiting is just...well...waiting.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Sunday Night Confessions

1. I haven't stuck to one of my New Years Resolutions. Not. One.

2. I have a Miley Cyrus song on my iPod and I swear when it comes on at the gym, I run faster.

3. I've already started writing the query for Gmail. I love queries. I know that every writer is supposed to hate them, but I can't help it. I think they're fun.

4. Laura and I spend 95% of our phone conversations talking about how great Gmail is. Yeah, we're pathetic and need to get a life.

5. I really hate Gwyneth Paltrow. I had forgotten just how much I hated her until I saw SpinRegina's post about her blog, GOOP. It's one of the most obnoxious, self-important websites that I've ever seen in my life. And I've wasted over an hour on the damn thing and STILL can't figure out what the hell GOOP stands for.

6. I'm really excited for the premier of Big Love tonight. It's about this guy in Utah and his 3 wives, are you really surprised that I'm totally hooked?

7. Every time I think about the inauguration, I think about how excited I am that Obama is going to be president, but I'm almost more excited to see what Michelle wears.

8. There is one thing that really, really bugs me about 30 Rock. Tina Fey is a comedic genius, but she needs to cut the jokes about her weight. It's ridiculous because she's extremely thin, but in every episode there is at least one joke about her eating habits and this week they even had her buy some huge scuba-like bathing suit to wear on vacation. It reminds me of the jokes on Will and Grace about Grace eating so much and gaining weight when Debra Messing was borderline anorexic. It really annoys me because 30 Rock is too smart for that.

9. Part of my redecorating efforts involved buying a couple of new chairs for my family room. They're recliners, but they don't look like recliners (seriously, you can't tell. I swear.). I now spend about 75% of my day reclined in one of the chairs. On the phone, on the laptop, watching TV. I'm like perpetually reclined, and let me just say that being vertical is so overrated. I vacillate between feeling like some sort of invalid or like a reincarnation of my Great-Great Grandfather, Pa. I think he spent the better part of his 80's and 90's in an orange velour recliner at my grandparent's house.

10. I let out a little squee every time someone comments on our blog. I can't help it. Comments make me giddy.

Whew - so glad to get that all off my chest. Especially that bit about Miley. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Must be all that lapsed Catholic guilt.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Top 5 Reasons you should be watching Friday Night Lights

5. It's not Gossip Girl. Ok, I know, I know, no one loves Gossip Girl more than me, but Friday Night Lights is just, well, better. Gossip Girl is fun and entertaining, but Friday Night Lights is real and it gives me that breathless feeling in my chest that reminds me of being in high school and having silly crushes and trying to get into college and how the air always smelled like fall on the night of the first football game of the year.

4. It's inspiring. Much of the reason that Laura and I chose to write young adult literature (and I use that term loosely) is due to arrested development. I mean, clearly when you're 30-years-old and still watching shows like Gossip Girl, you're not ready to write for adults. But FNL reminds me of why I want to write for this audience so badly. Because when you're 16, there is nothing like that feeling of getting a phone call from the boy you've been obsessing over for 6 months. And your friends are literally the most important people in your world. And passing your driving test feels like a matter of life or death. Everything is bigger, brighter and carries an overwhelming sense of importance when you're 16-years-old. It's fun to remember what that feeling was like and to try to capture it in our writing and shows like FNL (and My So-Called Life, I still miss that show) remind me of what it was all like.

3. Football sucks. OK, I hate football. HATE it. I hate having it on tv, I hate listening to it on the radio and I really hate it when I have to think about my son playing it some day. So, as you can imagine it was a tough sell to get me to watch a show that pretty much centers around football, but Ken was insistent and I was bored, so I watched the very first episode with him. And I was totally hooked. Because here's the secret, it's not about football at all. It's about living in a small town in America. It's about being 16. It's about family. It's really about everything that isn't football. Just don't tell Ken that, ok? Because I really like watching it with him.

2. Coach Taylor and Tami Taylor. Kyle Chandler and Connie Britton do an amazing job portraying how marriage really works. They fight about who makes dinner. Coach is always trying to get laid and Tami is usually too tired. They're stressed. They're happy. They're trying to create a better life for themselves and their kids. I love watching the way their marriage is played out on the show because it's like a real marriage, only better.

1. Tim Riggins. Ok, if for no other reason, you need to be watching this show for #33, Tim Riggins. He and Lyla are so cute together and I'm just constantly cheering for the bad boy with the heart of gold. And he's hot. Like, really, really, really hot.

I could go on and on and on about this show, but I'm supposed to be working on Gmail and you all know how Laura is a total slave-driver when it comes to writing. She's even threatened to revoke my blogging privileges if I don't buckle down and actually write.
So, please just give this show a chance. Even if you hate football, there's a lot to love about FNL.

Because everyone needs a little Fug on a Friday

These girls are hilarious. In a perfect world, this is EXACTLY how J.Lo would talk and the Fug girls would be my BFFs.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Gmail meets Twitter. Done!

Gmail in 138 characters:

When Kate gets an e-mail from her dead best friend she decides to channel Nancy Drew. A hotter, bitchier Nancy Drew, but you get the idea.

Yeah, we did it with just 2 characters to spare! Impressed?

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Gmail Twitter Style...

So Colleen Lindsay, an agent at FinePrint Literary is hosting a contest on her blog to pitch your book in under 140 characters, the length of a Twitter post.

I've been tinkering all day with the pitch for Gmail, but the closest I can get is 247 characters.

What’s a girl to do when she starts getting mysterious e-mails from her best friend who's been missing for a year? Well, if you’re Kate Lowry, you decide to solve the mystery Nancy Drew style. A hotter, bitchier Nancy Drew, but you get the picture.

Yeah, I'm supposed to be writing the next chapter, and I'm procrastinating. Don't tell Laura.

Chucking Jack Bass...

Guess I should start out explaining the picture...
Every week I search Google images and try to find a good Chuck Bass picture for this here blog. Now, jury is still out on whether this is illegal or if it's fair use, but I'm hoping that since our readership is limited to approximately 10 people (9 of whom happen to be related to us), this won't be an issue. Anyways, every week when I search, I find this guy.

His name is Chuck and he caught a bass. Love it.

Good showing from GG this week, although I will say, my award for best trainwreck of the week has to go to Gretchen on Real Housewives of Orange County. Ken and I were blown away by her tequila induced sluttiness. Good times.
And seriously, how much do you hate Jack Bass? He's so evil. So conniving. So fantastic. As Laura pointed out during our viewing this week, GG really was in need of a good villain.

Anyways, the Chuck Bass quote of the week is (drumroll please)....

Chuck predicting what the letter from his dad will say:
"I think I can guess. You're a disappointment of a son. I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't dead already. Why do you wear so much purple?"

I mean he does wear a lot of purple. Hilarious.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Tuesday sucks

At least we're all prepared for the suckiness of Mondays. After all, everyone knows that Mondays suck.

Unfotunately, the suck of Tuesday sneaks up on you. Only the second day of the work week, so you have eons until Friday. No Gossip Girl. And no one ever asks "Have you got a case of the Tuesdays?"

I'm going to start.

My eyes are burning, so I need to sleep. This probably won't make sense when I read it in the morning, but I'll just go ahead and blame it on my raging case of the Tuesdays.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Pop quiz - don't worry it's multiple choice...

So let's just say an agent had your full manuscript. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Said agent sent an e-mail saying the manuscript would be read ASAP on Friday. Did the agent:

A. Read the manuscript over the weekend, hate it, and decide to send a rejection via snail mail which will most likely find it's way to your mailbox by Wednesday and crush your dreams of working with said agent.

B. Read the manuscript over the weekend, hate it and hasn't had time to send the rejection e-mail yet.

C. Spend the weekend at the spa instead of reading your manuscript.

D. Love the manuscript, but wants to get some second opinions before going any further.

E. Like the manuscript, but can't decide if he/she should take a gamble on two completely unknown authors in a down economy and is waiting for a sign from God.

Let's just say that if the answer is E. we're in big trouble. Something tells me my catty post about the Golden Globes didn't win me any points with the big guy upstairs. Well, hypothetically speaking that is...

Random thoughts on a Sunday (Golden Globes edition)

  • Renee Zelwegger looks like 10 miles of bad road, what was with that hair? She looked like a washed up country music star.

  • I didn’t love Tina Fey’s dress (reminds me of an awful dress I wore to homecoming in high school) and her hair was awful. Did she use a curling iron on her bangs or what? But she is so awesome none of that mattered. From collecting Hollywood Foreign Film Press action figures to telling random cyber-haters to “suck it” it’s impossible not to love her.

  • Salma Hayek looked amazing
  • Sacha Baron Cohen your Guy Ritchie as Madonna’s fired assistant joke went over like a lead balloon. Isn’t everyone kind of over that whole divorce anyways? Thanks for playing, Sacha.

  • One word for you Angelina: lipstick.
  • Is it me or is it impossible to not think of Andy Samberg’s Mark Wahlberg impression whenever you see Mark Wahlberg? It’s the Fey/Palin phenomenon. And for the record, I’m not thrilled that Marky Mark is playing the Dad in The Lovely Bones movie. It was supposed to be Ryan Gosling and I think that he would have been much better in the role, but maybe I’ll be surprised. We’ll see.

  • LOVE Kate Winslet. Gorgeous. Thin, but not emaciated. And she forgot Angelina was nominated and Angie looked pissed. Hilarious. And how cute is she with Sam Mendes? Did you see him get all teary eyed when she won. Adorbs.
  • Hated Blake Lively’s dress.
  • Hoorah for the Mad Men win. It’s always so weird seeing the cast in their real clothes. That show is so well done that I forget that they aren’t really living in the 50’s.

  • Yay for Slumdog Millionaire. It was like the little movie that could. Also, I’m totally buying that soundtrack. I love Indian music, it reminds me of the synchronized dances they always do in Bollywood movies and I love that dancing.

Random thoughts not related to the Golden Globes:

  • I’ve already broken almost all of my New Years Resolutions. In fact I’m breaking one right now…it’s 1 am and I am not even close to my bed. Oops.
  • The Shopaholic movie looks good. I love those books and Isla Fisher actually looks like she’s going to be a kick ass Rebecca Bloomwood. Can’t wait to see that one.
  • If you don’t cry while watching Marley and Me you have no heart. Seriously. Even though I knew what was coming I still cried like a baby – it was actually a little embarrassing. We went to dinner after seeing the movie and it looked like we had come from a funeral. Great movie though. I can’t decide if it makes me want to buy a dog tomorrow or never ever buy a dog under any circumstances.

  • Lots of progress on Gmail this weekend. Just finished outlining the Second Act and things are really coming together. This book is so fun to write. I forgot how much I love writing with Laura too. We alternate chapters, so I write one chapter and then send it to her. She edits and then writes the next chapter, and we sort of keep flipping back and forth like that. I love it when I get one of Laura's chapters because it's like reading a whole new story. We have an outline, but typically when we write a chapter it takes on a life of it's own, so it's like reading a fresh story every time. And we're always trying to outdo each other. Yeah, we're nerdy like that.

    Happy Monday! I’m off to bed.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday Nights will never be the same...

Tonight was the last episode of Lipstick Jungle, and I am sad. I mean how can I go on not knowing whether Nico chooses the young hottie (Kirby should never wear a shirt. Never.) or her gorgeous older boss (I'm rooting for the boss. Unfortunately for Kirby it's frowned upon to go shirtless all of the time, and that gave the hot boss the edge. Sorry, but Kirby doesn't bring that much to the table when he's fully clothed.).

It was truly an undignified end for this surprisingly entertaining show. They did this pathetic little clip show to wrap up the episode in a completely botched attempt to provide closure. It was just a random montage of scenes from past shows, that only served to remind me how fabulously the women dressed and the fact that Nico wears WAY too much eye make-up. I'm totally unsatisfied. Damn you NBC.

Fortunately, there were two silver linings...

  1. It turns out that Victory Ford is from Chagrin Falls, OH. Oh Victory, do you realize that Chagrin Falls is in the running for locations for our next house? It's official, Chagrin Falls just took the #1 spot for future house hunting tonight. They should seriously hang a plaque or something.
  2. Friday Night Lights starts next week! FNL is one of my fave shows and it's been killing me that those bastards with DirectTv have been enjoying episodes all Fall, and I've been totally deprived of my Tim Riggins. And for the record, Tim Riggins is WAY hotter than Kirby. I've said it once, and I'll say it again, if it was even remotely appropriate for a woman my age, I'd have posters of him all over our house. Or maybe just in my locker at the gym. How funny would that be? Anyways, I'll sacrifice the Jungle for FNL any day of the week.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Are you hooked? (again)

Ok, some of you might have seen this posted a couple days ago, but Laura made me take it down because she had some edits. Yeah, she's just a perfectionist like that. I guess you could call me

Anyways, you may remember that we posted the first 250 words of The North Shore a while back, so now that we're about one-third of the way into Gmail we thought it was only fair to give our loyal readers a sneak peek.


Sent: Thu 8/18/08 11:11 PM
Subject: where are you?

I hate this. I hate losing you. I hate that we had that huge fight the night before you left. I hate not knowing where you are or if you’re even alive. And it feels like no one even cares anymore – they all think you’re dead.

Sometimes I even hate you. Well, I want to hate you, but I can’t. I feel like I’m writing you the same e-mail over and over again. Where are you?

Maddie still won’t speak to me. She follows Taylor Wright around like some kind of emaciated puppy. The two of them look like soulless American Girl dolls, J.Crew edition.

I miss you. It sucks starting another year without you.

Sent: Thu 8/18/08 11:59 PM
Subject: Re: where are you?

I’m here…
sort of.
I know what everyone is saying.
My parents had nothing to do with this.
Find Christian.
I shouldn’t be writing.
Don’t tell.
I miss you.


So...what do you think? Are you hooked? Do you want to read more?

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Ok, let me warn you, I am about to go off on a huge rant here, so if you're not in the mood to listen to me vent just stop reading. Seriously. This will not be pretty.

For the record, I find the whole "women bitching about their husbands who never do anything" boring. Partly because my husband does do things, lots of things, really. But he also says things. Stupid things. And this little rant all stems from one of his comments. Something like "God, the house looks like we've been robbed." Ok, not something like that , EXACTLY like that.

Keep in mind, this careless little observation was made at 6:15 pm, right after I had just returned home from the gym and grocery store with both kids in a mini-snow storm. I had just gotten the kids settled at the table, started unloading and putting away all the groceries and was in the process of making dinner. Oh and did I mention that we've had a handyman-painter extraordinaire hanging around our house all day every day this week doing all kinds of work?

So I was stressed. The house was a disaster, and this comment infuriated me. Actually, I should use present tense, this comment infuriates me. I'm still mad. Ken still will not apologize. I think the term "drama queen" was thrown out.

Oh my god, I didn't think it was possible but I'm actually getting angrier as I type. The truth is, I don't mind grocery shopping or making dinner or any of the things that I do on a day-to-day basis, but I do mind it when I feel like they're being taken for granted and that comment does not come from an "I appreciate everything you do for our family" type of place.

Anyways, I'm not speaking to my husband AND we have a quadruple date planned tomorrow night with my parents and sisters. Ouch. Sorry guys, that's going to be all kinds of awkward.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

What the Chuck Happened on New Years!?

Oh Blair, why do you do this to me? Just when you were thisclose to finally getting together with my beloved Chuck you go and do something naughty with the slimy Jack Bass on New Years. You slut!

Anyways, Chuck didn't really have a whole lot to say this episode, but a couple of my fave lines happened when Dan and Chuck were discussing the Lily/Rufus love-child.

Dan (all mopey as usual): Gawd Chuck, just tell me why my dad was like searching orphanages in Boston. My burning desire to know rivals only my burning desire for Serena.

Chuck: "Orphanages? How Dickensian." Dude, your dad has a love child with Lilly. You've got an older bro. Break out the cigars!

Dan: My delicate emotional sensibilities can't take this. I feel as though I might weep like a little girl. I'm just

Chuck: Ouch, guess this is going to hurt your chances with Serena. "Sharing a sibling is a bit much, even for me."

I took some liberties with the dialogue, so please note only the stuff in quotes was actually written by someone who gets a paycheck for their work. Although, I'm sort of partial to my version.


Monday, January 5, 2009

The Blah Blog

It's sort of a downer day over here in Lisa-Laura land, or maybe just Lisa-land...Today was my first day back at work and my heart just isn't in it. It's totally one of those situations where I need to be diving in and starting new projects and following up on all the crap I left hanging before my holiday vacay, but I just have this overwhelming sense of inertia.

Just to give you an indication of how "blah" I'm feeling, we got a request for the North Shore today (from a query we sent back in September - sort of shocking how slow this business moves, isn't it?) and I can't even work up the enthusiasm to pull the info together and send it out. Usually I send stuff out within minutes of receiving a response, but today I'm just sort of meh about the whole thing. And I really shouldn't be because it's kind of a biggie agent. Stupid. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be back to normal and Laura and I will be all over sending the requested materials out, but right now I'm just...not.

We're also doing some major redecorating at case-de-Lisa and I have a bathroom that needs to be stripped of the remaining wall paper so the painter can start painting tomorrow. Has anyone taken down wall paper before? It's a major pain in the ass. I think I'd rather get a cavity filled than finish taking down the rest of that cheap-ass wall paper. Question for people who used to own this house: Did you use super glue to slap up this god-awful wall paper or what? And if so, did you really think that you'd love yellow and purple flowers forever? Ugh.

Thankfully there are two bright spots in my day...

1. G-Mail. Oh you guys, it's really coming together. Laura and I have really found our voice now that we're writing in the first person and I totally have a girl-crush on our main character. I can't wait until this one is ready for betas. Speaking of which...we'll probably have the first 10 chapters ready this week. Anyone interested in taking a peek?

2. Gossip Girl. It's back! Oh Chuck, how I've missed you over these long weeks of holiday mayhem. I know you're having a tough time dealing with the death of your dad, just don't do anything crazy and throw yourself off any buildings, kay? I don't want to sound needy here, but you are the light of my life, so chin up already.

Ok, I'm off to go strip wallpaper and mope some more. Blah.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Slumdog Millionaire

There's just something about going to see a movie at one of those arty little theaters that only play movies that are nominated for awards or were screened at Sundance. Makes a girl feel somehow superior. And take it from someone who watches Mama's Boys religiously - it feels good to pretend to be an intellectual every once in a while.

Anyways, I saw Slumdog Millionaire tonight at the Cedar and Lee Theater right up the street from me. I love walking into an old movie theater that's completely packed and watching previews for movies like Revolution Road, Che, and The Wrestler. I guess it also helps that the movie itself was absolutely fantastic.

The film is based on the book Q&A by Vikas Swarup (although the book reviews lead me to believe that they took a LOT of liberties with the script) and follows an orphan boy, Jamal, who is winning the Indian version of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" but is taken in for questioning when the host accuses him of cheating. While in custody he tells the story of how he came to know the answer to all of the questions via different adventures with his brother, Salim and another orphan girl, Latika. The India depicted in the film is oftentimes bleak and a little difficult to watch, but watching the love story unfold between Jamal and Latika in flashbacks ensures that there is plenty of hope in this uplifting tale.

I've always been fascinated with Bollywood and Indian film, so I loved that it was set in India. The cinematography (I figure if I'm going to try to sound like a film buff, I'm going to have to speak their language, right?) was stunning and the film was beautifully acted.

Definitely check this one out if you hit the theaters.

Don't call this a comeback

So it’s been a minute. Or 10. Or truthfully more like 2,102,400. At least we think that’s how many minutes there are in 3 years, but let...