Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Psychiatric Evaluation Gaga Style

I enjoy Lady Gaga's music, have even been known to sing along to a few songs (okay, okay and maybe have a dance party or two in my living room), but I think she's batshit crazy. I get that the insane-looking outfits (she makes Bjork look like an amateur) are her "thing" and probably make her more popular because they force people to talk about her and remember her (exactly what I'm doing here), but just looking at her annoys me.

Anyways, I've decided to put the pics to the Rorscharch test. Move over ink blots.

Dr. R: Tell me, what do you see after looking at this picture?

LiLa: Nurse of the high seas. She is mocking all land animals with the chicken claw bracelet.


Dr. R: Good, good, and this one?

LiLa: Room Raiders--that terrible show on MTV circa 5 years ago. It looks like she's going to use a gloved finger to see how dirty my ceiling fan is.


Dr. R: Ah yes, that is very telling indeed. How about Lady Gaga at the Grammy's?

LiLa: Bedazzled hooves. That is all.

Dr. R: (Writing vigorously on his notepad): Fascinating, fascinating. How about here?

LiLa: The Devil Wears Nada, the soft porn version of The Devil Wears Prada.


Dr. R: Your free association is magnificent, not to mention your taste in porn. Tell me, what are you thinking now?

LiLa: Wedgewood. Mr. Gaga and Wedgewood had a baby. A high-waisted Wedgewood-inspired spandex baby.


Dr. R: And, our last picture. What comes to mind, ladies?

LiLa: Good God, her breasts! They've stolen her breasts. Sparkles! Sunglasses! Robert Pattinson.

Dr. R: This is troubling. Very troubling indeed. Further evaluation is mandatory. Please see my receptionist up front to schedule a follow-up ASAP.

Now it's your turn! Head to the comments to use free association to share the first thoughts that came to your mind after being eye-raped by Lady Gaga's particular brand of crazy. Dr. R. will be checking in periodically with evaluations.

50 comments:

Donna Gambale said...

This is HILARIOUS. I wholly concur with your Rorscharch assessments.

Kelly H-Y said...

Oh my goodness, that was hilarious! I have to agree ... love her music, but my jaw drops when I see her videos and pictures such as you shared here! The Wedgewood comment had me laughing out loud! Loved this.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

I am so totally ROFL!! This is a new high (or low?) for the LiLa show! I may have nightmares for days after so many horrific images, though. Maybe this post should come with a warning label! Ha ha ha. :-)

Summer said...

I'm scared to free-associate, but the Devil Wears Nada pictures makes her look like she has extremely weird, hairy legs.

Southern Princess said...

It hurts..it is too much..should never look all at once.. MY EYES!

*collapses at desk* Coworker comes to see computer and falls out on the floor.

NEWSPAPER ARTICLE TOMORROW. HEADLINE:

MULTIPLE PHOTOS OF GAGA CREATES MASS DEATHS AT MAJOR CORPORATION
byline: "They were never meant to be viewed all at one time."

Jill Kemerer said...

The final picture is like a life-size Bratz doll gone stripper (or are all Bratz dolls strippers?). Scary!! Thanks for making me laugh!

Krispy said...

Love her music, and actually, um, kinda love her CRAZY too. :X Although, I concede, she does scare me almost as much as she amuses me.

Confession: I kind of like the Grammys galaxy dress in that it's a cool concept and kinda pretty in a crazy, high-fashion crossed with sci-fi crossed with artsy-fartsy kind of way. The shoes weird me out though. I think "bedazzled hooves" is an incredibly appropriate description.

Nicole Ducleroir said...

Lady Gaga would make a convincing spokesperson for RADIO.

No wonder that lobster was trying to eat her head in the first pic.

Loved this!! I left you a late comment on yesterday's post, but I'll repeat it here: There's a little something for you girls at my blog!!

K. M. Walton said...

Ha, eye-raped. She certainly has mastered bizarro fashion. I saw her interviewed on a British talk show and she was actually quite lucid in her responses - which did NOT match the insane outfit she sported. If one were to judge her solely on her fashion sense one would expect her to only bark or drool...not to speak like a fairly normal person. It was weird to see.

roxy said...

The frontal lobe of my brain hurts, and I can't get past my reaction to the first picture. There she is in a see-thru shirt and I'm thinking, "Is that a lobster on her head?" Very disturbing.

Marsha Sigman said...

Hysterical post! Lady Gaga irritates me to no end. What lyrics I can understand seem to be repeated over and over. Plus I think I detect a lisp.

When I look at her outfits, I feel sorry for her. I don't believe she has ever known the pure ecstasy of sweat pants and t-shirts.

Christina Lee said...

Here, here!! drives me BONKERS!!! A recent interview said she was "shy" ?!?! I see shy as someone who fades into the backround and doesn't want to be noticed!

Cherry said...

She might be batshit crazy, but you have to admit Gaga has talent :)

T. Anne said...

HA! I love bad romance and I'll admit it to almost anyone. BTW, that lobster hat was stolen from my closet. You ladies R 2 funny.

Tere Kirkland said...

Hey, she's having fun with her fame. I'm sure she'll settle down eventually. Maybe when she turns 50...

I hate those hoof-shoes, though. Bleh!

Erica said...

LOL - you guys always have a creative outlook! I love it. Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't have that red "outfit" on there, I forgot what award's show it was? American Music maybe?

That was highly entertaining - thank you ;o)

Elana Johnson said...

She is totally crazy! Sometimes I wish I had A) the body to wear that stuff and then B) the courage. You gotta give her props for that, right? Right. :)

Angela said...

How the hell did she sit in the car with that fricken lobster on her head...that is the million dollar question.

Yes, she's crazy but I say good for her. It takes guts to be yourself when you're so 'out there.'

Loretta Nyhan said...

The molded boobs and the wedgewood comment nearly had me laughing off my chair.

That said, I would totally wear the Judy Jetson ensemble.

Icy Roses said...

Yeah, I admit, I like Lady Gaga's music sometimes, but her fashion sense makes me want to temporarily lose my vision. WHY THE LOBSTER, GAGA? WHY?

Mariah Irvin said...

Heehee. Bedazzled hooves.

Carolyn V. said...

LOL! Oh I just can't stop laughing! The perfect way to get over being sick. But my eyes...they burn! They burn!

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

She is a horror show gone wrong! Even if I was skinny enough to wear that crud, hell would have to freeze over first.

Ok you know it's bad when your 8 year old comes home with a joke about her. And I will admit to liking a couple of songs.

A. Grey said...

I don't care how crazy you dress, you're never gonna one-up Cyndi Lauper or Boy George, or David Bowie... but they keep trying. :)

PurpleClover said...

Okay I have to weigh in on this one. Your assessments were HI-larious! Here are my own:

#1 The Chicken of the Sea

#2 Bridezilla

#3 Lady Jetson

#4 Little Red Riding Hooker

#5 Made in China

#6 Amazon Barbie?

Yikes! Love the post! I can't stand Lady Gaga but in a way I'm drawn to her. I don't know what it is. But you're right, she makes Bjork look like an amateur! haha!

amy said...

Okay, I seriously just snorted perfectly good vodka all over my keyboard at The Devil Wears Nada. You owe me a drink, woman.

She looks like she got attacked by a horde of rabid hula hoops in that third pic.

Brigitte said...

Just comes to show.
The Gaga knows no boundaries.
*shrug*
She is The Elizabeth 1st of our time.

I was surprised to find some of her outfits that I've never seen before!

Hell, it could be worse.
She could have chosen to wear one of those instead on her meeting with the Queen. :p

xoxox
looking-glass-fabled.blogspot.com

Rachele Alpine said...

My little sister was Lady Gaga for Halloween. She used to be a Lake Erie Monster cheerleader, so she was confident enough to wear a leotard! And she got her hair done on top of her head in a huge giant bow made out of blond hair. I think she's still wiping glitter off from her crazy face make-up!

Brittany said...

Very very funny!! :]
Everyone who knows me has seen me do the "Ra ra ra-a-a-a" once or twice, but gosh, she is kind of crazy.
Though, I would be lying if I said I didn't look forward to seeing what she'll crazy glue together next. What's next? Construction paper and Starbucks recyclable cups?
Wait wait, I'm almost done with my cup, I'll make the first donation.

Dara said...

I think she fell off the crazy truck.

And I must be one of the odd ones 'cause I don't like her music at all :P

Kimberly Franklin said...

I love me some Lady Gaga, but she needs to do one of two things:

Hire a wardrobe stylist or fire one.

Haha! Great post!

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

OMG The Devil Wears Nada!! LOL! One night I watched the first 15 minutes of it...totally confused...I thought that the channel was showing some weird erotica short and I kept waiting for The Devil Wears Prada to actually start and then finally I rechecked the listing and it was a total facepalm!

Jemi Fraser said...

Wow. What in the world does she see when she looks in the mirror? Can't be the same thing we see...

Robin said...

OMG, Devil Wears Nada...hilarious!!! Take this show on the road, girls!
:-)

lexcade said...

i love you guys.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

I loved Wedgewood once.

And the Devil Wears Nada? I think there should be something in there about Deep Vein Thrombosis. I bet that's a fetish for some in the soft porn industry.

Otherwise, Brilliant, brilliant assessment all around. I laughed so hard my daughter asked me if I was training seals in my office.l

Dangerous With a Pen said...

OMG, this made me laugh so hard I started hacking up a lung in my sinus infected state. :)

How can you not love her, right?

SB said...

Ha ha ha ha ha. Yes. She bugs. And her girl - on -girl-on-boy and other such sexual things that my students watch and learn from? Not my favourite thing. And her attempt at being different, because 'she can' is pathetically childish. and the wedgewood? oh yah. THat was a perfect perfect association. I cannot spend enough time looking at a pic of her to give you my free association...it hurts my eyes too darn much. All I see when I do get that quick glimpse before swiftly averting my eyes: she has CRAZY eyes. NUTSO!
SB





not too serious i hope

Sharon Mayhew said...

Sooo funny! I hope chicken leg jewelry isn't the new "in" thing!

Jen said...

You guys are awesome!!!! This is hilarious!!! Lady Gaga gave free entertainment again today!

Danyelle said...

Gotta give her kudos for bravery. Now, for some eye bleach...

Gail said...

Not Lady Gaga..... it's Lady GagGag!

jessjordan said...

1) Insects. They're attacking. They're eating faces and taking over. Total world d(en)omination!

2) Cupcakes for sale. Cupcakes for sale. Come get your fancy white wedding cupcakes!

3) The most normal thing I've seen on Queen Gaga yet. Almost an outfit. Shaped like a dress. Could it possibly be ...? And jelly bracelets. Circa 1980-something.

4) Little Red Riding Ho. Just walked through Charlotte's Web on her way to grandmother's house.

5) Queen Gaga woke up with no clothes on. In a paper factory. With markers and tape. And sparkly things. And ... she's the queen of Troy, going into battle, protected by strange cuffy things.

6) The Gaga isn't actually real. She's a bronze statue. This is the skin of a monster!

alexa - cleveland's a plum said...

you know i always think she is so much older than her actual age, and when i'm reminded that she's ONLY 23 i freak out a bit

Kristi said...

I might try dropping my son off to Kindergarten in one of these ensembles. We usually all show up in sweats and this would shake things up a bit! :)

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Rorschach tests! I love it!

I think this girl is ridiculous.... Enough with the crazy outfits already! She's got talent!

By the way, she's got two of the all time top 6 selling songs in Itunes history....

Julia said...

Ha! I love me some Lady GaGa. I do think she's talented and she's working an angle. Everyone does talk about her. What do they say? Any publicity is good publicity. And, what's more fun than dressing up in wild costumes ala Halloween every day! All that said - here's my take...

1. Lobster - It tastes like chicken.
2. Tammy Fae in Heaven
3. Baton Twirling circa 2525 A.D.
4. Lil' Red Lady Wrestler
5. Little Dutch Girl sans skirt
6. Ray Charles meets Michael Jackson meets Sheena, Queen of the Jungle behind those Foster Grant's

Rebecca Knight said...

Is it wrong that I'm wondering if I could pull of the lobster hat/mask? I think it's wrong...

Solvang Sherrie said...

Ugh. She is just gross! But your observations are hilarious :D

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