Do you remember that time...

That instead of writing the next chapter of your novel that's due in less than two months, you spent the entire evening stalking old friends from high school via Facebook?

No?

Yeah....me neither.

But if we had stalked old friends from high school instead of writing here's what we'd say:

Laura: Holy crap, can you believe that guy is part of a colonic ponzi scheme?
Lisa: Actually, yes. Yes, I can.
Laura: You're quoting Phineus and Ferb again, aren't you.
Lisa: Yes. Yes, I am.

Laura: Wow, she looks AMAZING in a bikini.
Lisa: Yes. I have to agree. She must have some kind of handshake deal with Beezlebub.

Lisa: Do you remember our old babysitter, Deanne?
Laura: YES!
Lisa: I'll give you $10 if you can remember her father's name.
Laura: Todd?
Lisa: Seriously? I can't believe you're not getting this! Mom and Dad used to talk about that guy all the time.
Laura: Hmm...he must have been up to some shady stuff.
Lisa: Yeah. We need to get the deets on that.

Laura: Hey remember when we actually wrote stuff instead of slacking off?
Lisa: No.
Laura: Yeah, me neither.

The Bookanistas: The Goddess Test

When I was in 6th Grade we did a huge unit on ancient Greece. Before we started the unit, everyone took a test on random facts to be divided up into one of four groups. There was a group of Spartans (meat heads who barely passed the test), a group of Plebians (losers who failed the test), a group of Aristocrats (wannabes who did ok on the test) and then there were the gods and goddesses. The top 10% of test takers got to choose the god or goddess of their choice and drink Sprite and eat dried apricots while pretending to be god like or whatever.

I was an overachieving little nerd, so naturally I wanted to be a goddess. Unfortunately I wasn't a particularly smart nerd and was sadly little bit of a liar. I'll admit to taking a quick peek at a couple of my friend's answers to score well on that test. My cheating ways earned me the coveted role of Artemis, goddess of the moon. And I'd be lying if I said I regretted it. Sprite and dried apricots are delicious.

Anyway, turns out impersonating a goddess actually triggered a life-long fascination with Greek mythology, so when I saw the cover for THE GODDESS TEST and read a synopsis, I knew I had to read the book.

What the back cover has to say:


It's always been just Kate and her mom—and her mother is dying. Her last wish? To move back to her childhood home. So Kate's going to start at a new school with no friends, no other family and the fear her mother won't live past the fall.
Then she meets Henry. Dark. Tortured. And mesmerizing. He claims to be Hades, god of the Underworld—and if she accepts his bargain, he'll keep her mother alive while Kate tries to pass seven tests.

Kate is sure he's crazy—until she sees him bring a girl back from the dead. Now saving her mother seems crazily possible. If she succeeds, she'll become Henry's future bride, and a goddess.


What Lila has to say:
THE GODDESS TEST was a ton of fun. I had a blast trying to figure out the allusions to various myths and match characters to their corresponding god/goddess. I love the idea of younger readers picking up THE GODDESS TEST and discovering mythology for the first time. And they don't even have to cheat on an exam to learn more about the entertaining antics of Greek gods. They're way more entertaining than GOSSIP GIRL.


Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:
Elana Johnson  points you to Human.4
LiLa Roecker  glories in The Goddess Test
Christine Fonseca is impressed by Imaginary Girls
Shannon Whitney Messenger delves into The Future of Us – with giveaway
Scott Tracey and Shana Silver are wild about Wildefire
Carolina Valdez Miller shivers over The Eleventh Plague – with giveaway
Jessi Kirby celebrates A Scary Scene in a Scary Movie
Stasia Ward Kehoe embraces All the Things You Are
Corrine Jackson sneaks into Sean Griswold's Head

The Professional Procrastinator

There are dinner dishes in the sink.
Clean clothes in the dryer.
A flashing cursor mocking me from a blank Word page.
And it's almost August, which gives me a pit in my stomach.

And yet...

UsWeekly's homepage is open on my computer.
I've watched approximately 20+ hours of Baby Gizmo review vlogs for strollers.
I've added many items to multiple online shopping carts with absolutely zero intention of buying.
I Googled "Milk Glass Bead Necklace."
I'm mainlining Pinterest and will probably need an intervention soon.

Is it just me? How do you guys procrastinate? Or will your comments be a bad influence?

Tell The Truth Tuesday

1. I ate matzo ball soup for breakfast, lunch and dinner today.

2. I'm so stuffed up that I couldn't really even taste it. So then I ate some leftover cake.

3. I think I'm the only person in the history of the world to get sick in July during the middle of an epic heat wave.

4. I was thisclose to sending someone at work a message that "I'd stay on top of [Insert Male Coworker Here]." And then as I was typing the words I realized that it sounded kind of dirty.

5. I have very little patience for people who bring nothing to the table.

6. I have ZERO patience for people who act cliquey and aren't supportive of friends and/or fellow authors.

7. I think the Sudafed is making me reveal truths that will inevitably be edited by Laura in the wee hours of the morning before most of you are reading this.

8. I'm deeply grateful that since my own personal filter is a little on the thin side Laura filters most of my public musings.

9. Jack is the BEST liar and I'm pretty sure he gets it from me. Karma is a bitch.

10. I'm even more jealous than usual of the Third Roecker Sister's life. Check out her gorgeous pictures and turn green with me.

It's Tuesday, you know the drill. Confess your deepest, darkest truth in the comments. We won't judge. Pinky swear.

Cover Lovin'

Oh so pretty.

But...wait for it...wait for it...

A lot can happen in eleven minutes. Decker can run two miles easily in eleven minutes. I once wrote an English essay in ten. No lie. And God knows Carson Levine can talk a girl out of her clothes in half that time.

Eleven minutes might as well be eternity under water. It only takes three minutes without air for loss of consciousness. Permanent brain damage begins at four minutes. And then when the oxygen runs out, full cardiac arrest occurs. Death is possible at five minutes. Probable at seven. Definitey at ten.

Decker pulled me out at eleven.
 
We double dog dare you not to want to read this book.

Pass it on...

The Reading Room/WriteOnCon inbox is blowing up, but the more entries the merrier. $1000, Catherine Drayton's consideration and your very own author profile page is at stake, people!

So...if you or someone you know is getting ready to query, is in the midst of querying or is sitting on a YA/Middle Grade manuscript, spread the word (entry info on right sidebar).

We want to read YOUR 500 words!

Also...this:



Tyra Banks dressed as a character from her debut fantasy novel Modelland while promoting the book in NYC Wednesday.

Happy Friday!

Bookanistas: A SCARY SCENE IN A SCARY MOVIE

As soon as I heard about this book, I wanted to read it. It just sounded so different than what was out there and I desperately needed a change from the ho-hum. And that's exactly what I got.

What the back cover has to say:

Rene, an obsessive-compulsive fourteen year old, smells his hands and wears a Batman cape when he’s nervous. If he picks up a face-down coin, moves a muscle when the time adds up to thirteen (7:42 is bad luck because 7 + 4 + 2 = 13), or washes his body parts in the wrong order, Rene or someone close to him will break a bone, contract a deadly virus, and/or die a slow and painful death like someone in a scary scene in scary movie. Rene’s new and only friend tutors him in the art of playing it cool, but that’s not as easy as Gio makes it sound.

What Lila has to say:


We are always absolutely fascinated and inspired and motivated when writers nail character. This is the area where we want to improve the most as writers, the aspect of our books that usually require the most revision. And let me just say, Matt nailed character. And not just with Rene, his main player, with Gio as well.

Rene was absolutely pitch-perfect--heart-breakingly so. He's a character, because of the nature of his obsessive compulsive disorder, who spends a whole lot of time in his head, which as a writer, is a difficult place to be! Matt had to dig deep, nestle down in there and come face-to-face with who Rene needed to be. His disorder was on full disply and was extremely eye-opening. It made me think about all the different types of people in this world, all the unique qualities that make humans more human.

And I absolutely loved Gio. He had the biggest heart and wanted nothing more than to help his friend overcome some of the hurdles associated with his illness. Gio talked cool, dressed cool, acted cool--was basically the definition of cool and he balanced out the book in a very interesting way. I loved how the two characters were so extremely different, but also had some very integral things in common at the same time. Their friendship added a really amazing layer to an already fascinating book.

All in all, the book is a character study as well as a wild ride. I laughed out loud multiple times at the smartly written dialogue and was reminded of my years teaching. Really enjoyed this one! It was incredibly different than what's out there and truly a breath of fresh air.

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson raves about Blood Red Road

Christine Fonseca  is wowed by The Near Witch

Beth Revis loves The Last Little Blue Envelope

Carolina Valdez Miller gushes over The Girl of Fire and Thorns – with arc giveaway

Bethany Wiggins cheers for Chime

Rosemary Clement Moore is enraptured by Entwine

Stasia Ward Kehoe applauds The Predicteds

Veronica Rossi  prances for Wildfire

D-Bag-O-Meter: Tori and Douche McDermott

Dear Dean,

Oh. Oh no. Oh no you didn't. First the see-through, black mesh, swing cardi. And then the summer weight man scarf, AKA marf. It's no coincidence marf sounds like barf.

Shame on you. You're a role model! I mean, look at your poor Liam. He doesn't stand a chance against the D-Bag-O-Meter of tomorrow. He might as well be wearing a bow tie. And, for the record, Gap Kids has way cuter clothes than what I'm assuming are designer pieces. While we debate spending $20 on a t-shirt, we're assuming Tori and Dean don't have that same dilemma.

BTW, Tori, we know you're knocked up. You can go ahead and lose the standard celeb belly-cup. We get it, you're gestating not on a carb binge.

Honestly, we're a little suspicious that you two are procreating for promotional purposes and that just reeks of eau de douche. I mean, these are children NOT accessories.

So, until you ditch the marf and the red carpet and take your over-styled children to a freaking playground, we're putting you at a Stage-12 Douche.

The D-Bag-O-Meter has spoken.

Yours judgementally,
LiLa

Tell The Truth Tuesday...

1. What I'm supposed to be doing: Writing and/or cleaning.

What I'm actually doing: Drinking tea and eating chocolate covered animal crackers that I dug out of the kids' Easter baskets while watching the insanity that is Million Dollar Decorators.

2. I'm shocked more people haven't entered The Reading Room / WriteOnCon Contest of Awesome.* We want to read your first 500 words! Come join the fun!

3. I've been keeping Ben at home with me during the day. I know I need to let him get adjusted at daycare, but I miss him! And he's not mobile yet, so he just sits there and gives me drooly smiles while I'm on conference calls. It's lovely.

4. I'm considering putting out some Go The F*ck to Sleep fan fiction. I was literally composing a special airplane edition of the book when I held Ben on the 5 hour flight this weekend.

5. In related news, we can't stop watching this.



*A couple contest notes.

• The Reading Room Rule #7 does not mean that your first 500 words are being kidnapped by The Reading Room. It just means they can post your entry publicly if it happens to be selected as a top 5.
• Sorry for entry confusion. The contest is judging your first 500 words, not your pitch. 

Do You Want to Win $1,000!?!?

And no, our blogger account has NOT been hacked.

Watch THIS:

Okay, do we have your attention? Good.

WriteOnCon has teamed up with TheReadingRoom.com to bring you a VERY special contest to kick off the August, 2011 WriteOnCon Conference.

What? A first 500 MG/YA words contest. Grand Prize is $1000 AND an author profile page on TheReadingRoom.com. In addition, your work will be considered for possible representation by literary agent, Catherine Drayton.

When? Starting TODAY.

Why? Because we love you.

So here's how it works.

1. Click HERE to register with The ReadingRoom.com if you are not already a member (YOU MUST BE A MEMBER TO WIN).

2. Then click HERE to submit the first 500 words of your COMPLETED MG/YA manuscript (ad appears on the right sidebar).

3. Submissions will remain open until Wednesday, August 17th (the second day of the WriteOnCon conference).

4. The TOP 5 submissions will be announced on Thursday, August 18th (the last day of WriteOnCon) and posted on TheReadingRoom.com where EVERYONE can vote.

5. On Thursday, September 8th, The Reading Room and WriteOnCon will host a special LIVE event to announce the GRAND PRIZE WINNER who will receive $1000 cold, hard cash, in the form of a gigantic check in the form of a regular-sized check AND their own author profile page on TheReadingRoom.com. Finally, literary agent, Catherine Drayton, will consider their work for possible representation.

Totally amazeballs (we're channelling Jamie Harrington), right?

So, really, the only question left is, what would you do with $1000? 


P.S.
If you want to help us spread the word by tweeting #IfIHad1000 with a link to this post telling us what you'd do with the money if you win, we would be deeply grateful.

Click HERE to read TheReadingRoom.Com Official Competition Rules.
YOU MUST BE A MEMBER OF TheReadingRoom.com TO WIN. Click HERE to register.

TGIF

It's been a quiet week in these parts with Lisa on vaca and me trying to hold down the fort. Here are all the things I've failed to do...

• Read THE LIES THAT BIND from start to finish (er...middle) and incorporate first round of beta edits. Oops.
• Log into Twitter. The sound on my youtube was broken so I had to delete all temporary Internet files/passwords/etc. When I went to Twitter, it asked me for username and password. I tried a few and then gave up. Blerg.
• Think. I was supposed to think through some sticky plot points. It just didn't happen. Wah.
• Finish IMAGINARY GIRLS (which is completely creeptastic, BTW) to pass along to Lisa. How do people find time to read books? Ugh.
• Sleep. Despite my extremely non-productive week, I still managed to sneak into bed past 12:30 every night. There is seriously something wrong with me. Ugh again (because I can't think of anything else).
• But perhaps the biggest FAIL of all is my new upgrade of Yahoo Mail. I was bamboozled into clicking the upgrade link and now they literally will NOT let you switch back (I asked). I hate my new mail. %#!*(&!

A few small victories that should be noted...

• I blogged. I wouldn't say exceptionally well, but I blogged.
• I cleaned my floors. Felt like a new woman afterward, too.
• Made some WriteOnCon planning headway. Let's just say the other planners ROCK. Hard. And let's just say that we're excited. We've got some tricks up our sleeve this year.*
• Sent some stuff at the post office. This should take up at least three bullet points because of how much I hate going.

So...happy Friday, everyone. I, for one, am thrilled that my other half will be returning Monday. This lone writer business is hard work. And I didn't even have to write.

*Stay tuned for a BIG announcement Monday. It's going to be EPIC.

Bookanistas: I'M NOT HER

Janet Gurtler tests the bonds of sisterhood in this moving debut that readers of Jodi Picoult and Sarah Dessen will savor.

UM...yes, please.

What the back cover has to say:

"For the first time in my life, I didn't feel envy..."

Tess is the exact opposite of her beautiful, athletic sister. And that's okay. Kristina is the sporty one, Tess is the smart one, and they each have their place. Until Kristina is diagnosed with cancer. Suddenly Tess is the center of the popular crowd, everyone eager for updates. There are senior boys flirting with her. But, the smiles of her picture perfect family are cracking and her sister could be dying. Now Tess has to fill a new role: the strong one. Because if she doesn't hold it together, who will?

What Lila has to say:

My love affair with all Sarah Dessen books is no secret. Before I became obsessed with all things YA, I used to read a ton of Jodi Picoult as well. So, I'M NOT HER basically had my name written on it. And it didn't take long to find out why. Tess is not the leading lady. She assumes her position in the shadow of her beautiful and athletic older sister Kristina and pretty much feels comfortable there. But that's why she's easy to fall in love with. I mean, who hasn't felt insecure in the shadow of somebody else and yet oddly at ease with it at the same time?

And then all of the sudden, life as the girls had known it gets flipped on its head. Kristina is sick, their parents are in denial and Tess has to assume other roles, roles she never in a million years could have pictured herself fulfilling. She's incredibly vulnerable and you can't help but root for her as she grows throughout the book. And how could we not love a book about sisters? Really, really well done.

The cover is perfect, the title spot on and the overall book a breath of fresh air. Janet reminded me why I love reading contemporary and also put IF I TELL on the radar. It releases October 1st!

Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week:

Elana Johnson revels in Ruby Red

Christine Fonseca interviews picture book author Michelle McLean – with giveaway

Beth Revis reveals her reading recommendations

Jessi Kirby discovers Where Things Come Back

Shannon Whitney Messenger swoons for Supernaturally – with giveaway

Shelli Johannes-Wells features “guestanisto” author Matt Blackstone

Carolina Valdez Miller is bedazzled by Between – with giveaway

Shana Silver wonders at The Near Witch

Stasia Ward Kehoe celebrates Selling Hope

Elevensies Bookfeast

Know a library? Know a library that would like free books? Know a library that would like free books and the chance for patrons to win prizes as well?

Yes?! Then, help us spread the word!

All of the details are here, but here's the down and dirty.

• Libraries- Download a summer poster for free from here or request a full-length color version by emailing the Elevensies at entries@2011.com with POSTER in subject line. Then email a picture of it hanging up in your library again to entries@2011bookfeast.com, this time with LIBRARY in the subject line.
• Readers - Decide which platter you want and email your choice to entires@2011bookfeast.com with READER in the subject line. Mention a library and they will get an extra entry in the library drawing.

That's it! One winning email will be picked at random in both categories. See 2011BookFeast for full details. No purchase necessary. You must be 13 or older to participate.

The drawing will be on August 31st, so please encourage your local library to participate!

Life = Complete

This. THIS.

We can now die happy. Seriously.

One person's trash and all that...

Every year my neighborhood schedules a development-wide garage sale and every year I look at the junk piled up in my basement and think, "...next year." Well, this year was THE YEAR, people. This year was the year I'd put our crap on display, slap some sort of price on it and cross my fingers no one I know shows up.

First things first, I consulted a close friend and garage sale connoisseur. I needed some guidance on pricing valuables such as craptastic picture frames and fake crystal candlesticks. She informed me that people who frequent garage sales are looking for the ultimate steal and don't want to spend much more than a couple bucks per item. So...a couple bucks it was. Although we did price a few big-ticket (black leather Ikea chair, whut, whut! Snazzy glass and metal computer desk, holla!) items a bit higher.

Some highlights...

• At around 7 AM, I realized I had a very limited supply of cash on hand to make change. I had one five dollar bill, a ten, a one and a handful of change. Apparently garage sale hosts are supposed to think ahead and have at least twenty dollars in singles. Not off to a good start. After raiding Lydia's piggy bank, I added another five and a twenty to the mix. Not helpful and poor Lydia wondered why I was going through her money. I swear I wrote down the amount to pay her back.
• First customer arrived at 7:30 AM when the sale started at 8. Me (already sweating trying to arrange craptastic picture frames): Um...is it already 8? Man (looking at watch): Just about. Me (as poor Lydia is still upstairs waiting to be let out of her cage room): You're going to have to come back at exactly 8, I'm not ready yet. (Checked the clock when I went inside and it was 7:30 on the dot. Almost 8 my ass.)
• Same man showed up at 8 on the dot and bought every piece of jewelry and a brand new pair of women's boots. Score. $15 sale.
• A woman handed me a five for a $3 basket and I was unable to make change. She frantically looked at my neighbor's house and exclaimed, "I don't have time for this! That desk I had my eye on over there is going to snatched up!" and she threw the five my way and rushed to purchase said desk. Jackpot.
• We've been trying for 2 years to donate an old snow blower. Goodwill can't accept said snow blower because it has a full tank of gas. I figured I'd sell it for pennies and free up the garage space. Hell, I'd consider paying someone else just to transport it off our property. Lo and behold we had an interested buyer. After assuring him the snow blower was in working order, he proceeded to try and get the thing started for fifteen minutes. Awkward. Finally, the blower revved to life (blue smoke shooting out the side notwithstanding). In the end, we made the sale. Whether or not the blower made it home, is still in question. Man refused to let us tie the machine down and had it out the trunk heavy side up. Hmm...
• Lydia became upset when one of her old toys was purchased. We made sure to donate the earnings to her piggy bank (along with the borrowed change).

All in all, it was an exhausting, but successful day. We ended up with half the junk we started with and earned a bit of spending money to boot. I'll take it!

In Which We Forget the Blog...

It was 10 AM and I was on the treadmill at the gym when I remembered....

THE BLOG! AHHH! WE FORGOT TO POST!

It's now 4:12 PM and I just watched the funniest video EVER courtesy of our friend, Steph.




Yeah, there's no way those bitches are getting anywhere near me with those needles. I LOVE MY UGGS and I often mistake leggings for pants. It's a DISEASE, people.

Have a fab weekend! We'll be back on Monday with details of our beer pong tournament, Laura's garage sale and some clips of actual young adults performing The Liar Society.

XOXO,
L&L

The Bookanistas: TORN

 Do you like magic, hot guys or the mafia? If you answered "Yes!" to even one of those questions, you absolutely need to add Erica O'Rourke's debut novel, TORN to your TBR pile.

Here's What Amazon Has to Say:


Swirling black descends like ravens, large enough to block the glow of the streetlights. A dull roar starts like a train on the ‘L', a far-away rumbling that grows louder as it pulls closer, until it's directly overhead and you feel it in your chest, except this doesn't pass you by. Verity, white-faced and eyes blazing, shouts through the din, "Run, Mo!"

Mo Fitzgerald knows about secrets. But when she witnesses her best friend's murder, she discovers Verity was hiding things she never could have guessed. To find the answers she needs and the vengeance she craves, Mo--quiet, ordinary, unmagical Mo--will have to enter a world of raw magic and shifting alliances. And she'll have to choose between two very different, equally dangerous guys--protective, duty-bound Colin and brash, mysterious Luc.  One wants to save her, one wants to claim her. Which would you choose?

LiLa's Take:

OK, so I TOTALLY know who I would choose. And you guys will have to fight me to get him. TORN is fantastically paced, highly entertaining and super steamy. It's a totally different twist on paranormal romance (just wait until you read the end) and I had a blast spending time with Mo and her boys. TORN is absolutely the perfect summer read. Buy your copy TODAY!

And don't just take my word for it, here's what one of my favorite writers on the planet, Lee Nichols had to say about TORN:

"Who doesn't love a character torn between two dangerous worlds and two risky guys? The only thing safe about this book is how good it is." --Lee Nichols, author of Deception, A Haunting Emma Novel


Yeah, she totally said it better than me. As usual. Just one last thing, if you guys read this book you have to PROMISE me that you'll email me and tell me which boy you'd choose. It's kind of like a Rorschach test for YA readers.





Here's what the rest of The Bookanistas are up to this week!


Elana Johnson celebrates A Scary Scene in a Scary Movie

Christine Fonseca is crazy about Cryer’s Cross – with giveaway

Beth Revis interviews Goddess Test author Aimee Carter – with giveaway

Carolina Valdez Miller delights in Texas Gothic AND Bad Taste in Boys – with giveaways

Jessi Kirby is giddy about Hourglass

Shana Silver fawns over Forever

Jen Hayley is hot for Wildfire

Matt Blackstone savors Something Like Hope

Stasia Ward Kehoe jumps for Bumped

Veronica Rossi  devours Bad Taste in Boys

You Know What I Hate?

I can't stand those lame, horrible, self obsessed authors who claim that they're too busy to respond to email.

And guess what....

Those lame, horrible, self-obsessed authors ARE US.

We suck.

We're sorry.

We have a number of things going on that are VERY exciting for us and for fans of The Liar Society, but unfortunately it means we have less time to email, Tweet and generally dick around on the internet.

This KILLS US. The guilt is crippling because we never want you to think we're standoffish, or lame. So, know that if you've reached out to us, you WILL get a response. I can't promise it will be soon, but we'll get there. I promise.

And I also promise that sometime soon(ish) all will be explained. And we'll be back to our normal, internet dicking selves.

XOXO,
L's

Killing Our Darlings

We are knee deep in the first draft of THE LIES THAT BIND and I'm not gonna lie, it ain't pretty. As always, we kick things off with an outline and as always, we think to ourselves, "This time we're totally going to stick to the outline. Easy squeezy." And, as usual, we're totally, completely, utterly wrong. We used the outline for about two chapters and then went rogue and now we're flying by the seat of our pants praying that this book actually works.

As always, there are casualties.

I'm not going to lie, it wasn't easy going all backspace on this chapter's ass, but it's for the good of the book. AND it will make a killer extra when we're promoting TLTB. And because you guys put up with all of our random, we decided to post just a tiny little bit of it for you today.

Are you ready? Here it goes...a couple paragraphs of a deleted scene from The Lies That Bind....

These were never good meetings. They were called last minute, riskier than the ones we held in the dark, under the ground. We weren’t even all together, but mixed and separated by non-members and members alike. The code wasn’t perfect, but it worked, delivered important messages about how we should proceed. And they almost always followed some sort of emergency.

Praesedi, our president, would begin eating, our cue. The message originated at the table where SAT prep books were scattered and kids quizzed each other for upcoming exams. Secretum, our secretary, sat at this table, pouring over homework like the rest of them. But today the goal wasn’t to commit five new vocabulary words to memory, today was Commemoro. The Relay.

So...yeah. We spent our long weekend stress eating and killing our darlings. How about you guys? 

Another week, Another Celeb Round Up

OK, I'll admit it. There are days when I feel like the Solange to Laura's Beyonce.

The caption that went along with this photo is the best:

Justin Bieber -- with a tarantula in hand -- left a doctor's office in L.A. Monday.

There are just so many questions I find myself asking...What kind of doctor? Why the tarantula? When is the last time the Biebs had a good meal?

I am concerned, people.

HUGE round of applause to Pink for actually looking like a woman who has recently given birth. Normal people do not do runway shows in bikinis or attend movie premiers wearing size 2 evening dresses weeks after having a baby. THIS is what normal moms look like and man, I'd love to see more of them.

Really, Rachel? You go from Ryan Gosling to this guy? I'd like to think that he has fantastic personality, but he's carrying something that looks suspiciously like a man purse. And I think we can all agree that a girl should NEVER trust a man with his own purse.

Note to self K. Cavs: When alerting the paps to the fact that you're going jogging wearing nothing but a bra and some tight ass pants, at least remember to put your hair up in a pony tail so you look semi-natural.













I should mention that I wrote this entire post at 11 PM on a Tuesday night wearing the exact same yoga pants I wore to bed last night. So, yeah, I've officially turned into THIS girl:



Bitches, PLEEZ have a fab weekend.