WriteOnCon: The Vlog

As most of you know, we've been working on a top secret project with some writer-friends. Well today is the big reveal! So sit down, grab some Twizzlers and enjoy the show...


So, just to sum things up...

Conferences are expensive. Writers are poor. Now you have no excuse not to join Elana Johnson, Jamie Harrington, Shannon Messenger, Casey McCormick, and us (along with Jennifer Stayrook—our incredible web designer) for a FREE online kidlit writer’s conference!

Who? Any and all writers of YA

What? WriteOnCon, FREE Online Writer's Conference

Where? http://writeoncon.com/

When? August 10th-12th, 2010

Why? Because Steven Malk, Catherine Drayton, Michelle Andelman, Suzie Townsend, Mark McVeigh, Joanna Stampfel-Volpe, Kathleen Ortiz, Lindsay Eland, Dan Ehrehaft, Mandy Hubbard, Lindsey Leavitt, Josh Berk, Anica Rissi, Jodi Meadows and many, many more will be joining you.

To celebrate the conference launch and help spread the word, we've put together another contest. We're giving away your choice of a Query Letter Critique or a First Chapter Critique.

How to enter:

Follow our blog and fill out the contest form below by 11:59 pm PST on Saturday, June 19th

For Extra Entries:

+2 for tweeting about this contest

+3 for posting or linking this contest on your blog/website/facebook

+5 for posting the conference Countdown Widget on your blog or website

+1 for each of my co-organizer’s blogs or websites that you follow

CLICK HERE to enter!

We'll see you all on August 10th-12th. Brace yourselves...it's going to be EPIC!

Giddy. Up. The Lone Roecker takes over the blog.

Watch your back older sister. If the above screen shot isn't clear enough, that's a picture of my white steed guarding the Idea Whore file. Do not be mistaken. LR does not stand for Lila Roecker any longer, but the Lone Roecker.

If you want control of the file once again, you must agree to the following terms:

• Meet me at Nelson Ledges tomorrow with a briefcase (or envelope, whichever is easier) full of our ENTIRE advance from LIAR SOCIETY by LAURA and Lisa Roecker.
• 5 unopened bags of regular Twizzlers and Twizzler Nibs.

If you fail to submit to my demands, I will delete the Elle1813 Gmail account and the blog will be history. MUWAHAHAHAHA.

Tennerviews: NICE AND MEAN and SEA

We've got two fabulous author interviews posted over at The Elevensies.

Check out our interview with Jessica Leader author of NICE AND MEAN (which is available NOW! Order your copy here or here!)

 

And check out our interview with Heidi Kling author of SEA (which can be bought here or here!)

Book Review: THE CARRIE DIARIES

You might remember our little review of Sex And The City 2 that we posted last week. If you didn't read it, all you really need to know is that we weren't all that impressed, to, uh, put it mildly.

So, when my friend loaned me a copy of THE CARRIE DIARIES (the prequel to Sex And The City by the author of the book the series was based on, Candace Bushnell) a week later I was a little skeptical. To be perfectly honest, I was feeling a little down on the entire franchise after seeing that travesty they tried to pass off as a feature length film.

And the first 50 pages or so were a little lackluster for me. They were entertaining enough to keep me reading, but it was still very easy for me to put the book down. But then Carrie got a boyfriend and started trying to figure out how to remain independent and happy with a guy in her life. She always put her friends first and she started to explore her life long dream of becoming a writer.

The book got good.

So good that when I read the last line I found myself wishing I had the next book in the series so I could read it right away. Bushnell did Carrie proud. She managed to take a self-assured sex columnist in her 40's and transform her into a 17-year-old girl trying to navigate her first real relationship. And there's so much for young women to learn in these pages. Like the HBO series, Bushnell forces the reader to think about whether or not landing the guy of your dreams is worth sacrificing your sense of self. I loved that this book is bringing SATC's celebration of independence and girl power to the younger generation.

Bottom line: Sex And The City fans, save the $10 it will take to buy a movie ticket and order THE CARRIE DIARIES on Amazon for 45 cents more. You'll thank me later.

Tell the Truth Tuesday

• We have a LOT of secrets right now. All (okay, fine, most) will be revealed Monday when we post an EPIC vlog. Get excited.

• We're meeting new writer friends in person this week at our YA Book Club (if you're anywhere even remotely close to Cleveland you must join us!) and I'm nervous. It's always a little scary meeting people in person after getting to know them on-line, isn't it? What if we're a huge disappointment? SCARY.

• Every time I sit down to read the book for our YA Book Club, my eyes roll to the back of my head. I'm pretty sure it's the result of my traumatic hair-mergency, a wedding weekend and being woken up by my 2-year-old before 7 AM for a month now with, "OPEN THE DOOR!" It may also be a little of what-the-hell-just-happened-in-this-book?!

• A shiny package arrived in the mail yesterday at MY house and I know it's driving Lisa crazy. This makes me happy.

• We've just passed the 50,000 word mark in LIAR SOCIETY 2 and we'd love to have our first draft complete within the next couple of weeks. Even better, we finally figured out the final plot twist. And it's pretty darn good. Now we just have to write it.

• Unfortunately, all I want to do lately is read and watch crappy TV. Not exactly the most productive habits in the world.

• Speaking of crappy TV, it would literally be impossible for me to be more excited for Pretty Little Liars. I predict it's going to be awesomely bad. 

• It seems that getting stuck on playgrounds runs in my family. There was yet another rescue mission yesterday to save my 3-year-old from the twisty slide. Twice.

• Laura is now Tweeting and her Twitter handle and avatar is way cooler than mine. I'm bitter.

• I love when Lisa uses words like "Twitter handle" and "avatar." Twitter still scares me, although it feels like a public Skype conversation and I'm sort of digging it.

• I really, really want to see Karsten dance. Please go follow his blog. This movie trailer alone will make it worth your while. 

• I'm still bitter about missing BEA. But all the giveaways are making me feel just a little bit better about the whole thing.  Enter Jen's contest to win all the great reading material without getting elbowed in the face while diving for an ARC of MATCHED or THE DUFF. 

The Winner of DECEPTION and Another Fantabulous Contest...

Congratulations Bethany Elizabeth! You're the lucky winner of DECEPTION chosen by the random number generator! Can't wait to hear what you think of DECEPTION, so send us your address so we can mail it right away! Lisa-Laura(at)live(dot)com.

In other news, are you as excited to read Ally Condie's MATCHED as we are??? We're practically drooling and sadly without an ARC...

Enter the fabulous Veronica Roth who's hosting a contest on her blog to win this much buzzed about book.  But she's going to make you work for it. In order to enter you have to "match" some YA protagonists. You can either match them according to compatibility or hilarity. Like: let me put together Katniss Everdeen with Edward Cullen. What would their relationship be like, in a few lines? You can write dialogue, or just describe it, or write a scene, whatever works!

We've decided to go with Alex from PERFECT CHEMISTRY by Simone Elkeles and Nancy Drew, and not the updated, sexed up Nancy Drew, old school 1950's Nancy. Here it goes....

Alex: Hola chica, you lookin' for a clue? I've got one right here *grabs himself*

Nancy: You'll have to excuse me, but there's an old clock that needs investigating.

Alex: *moves in mere inches from her face* Wouldn't you rather investigate me?

Nancy: I'm not quite sure what you mean. I can't imagine that you'd have any clues. Besides, Ned is waiting for me at the library.

Alex: No seriously, I have your freakin' clue. It's this lame ass key. Just take it, already, I've got better things to do.

Nancy: Oh, well, that is actually quite helpful. I believe this will open up the safe hidden beneath the staircase which will reveal who has been blackmailing my poor elderly neighbor. Thank you.

Alex: Let me save you a trip, chica. It's the creepy old uncle.

Nancy: Yes, well that does make sense. It is almost ALWAYS the creepy old uncle, isn't it?

Alex: Si. Now get out of here before Brittany catches you. She gets mad jealous, Mamacita.

Nancy: Oh, er, yes, I can see how that might be an issue. You are quite fetching. Thanks again for all your help. Now Ned and I will have time to neck in the stacks.

END SCENE

Okay, now it's your turn. Head on over to Veronica's blog (NOW--the contest ends today) and write a fabulous scene with a couple of your favorite YA protagonists. And check out the other comments while you're over there because some of the match ups are pretty freaking funny. We can't wait to see what you come up with...happy Monday!

Hair-mergency

If you've been reading the blog for a while, chances are you've heard Lisa talk about the time I decided to chop off all my hair like a boy and dye it red. Let's just say this was a bad idea...of epic proportions. I had a mullet for over a year during the grow-out phase and there still seriously may be traces of ten-year-old red color in my hair.

Anywho, I'm a little sensitive about the locks. The word "brassy" gives me nightmares and someone threatening to paint red hair dye on my hair would be the most effective form of torture I can think of. So, what better time to have a hair-mergency than before a huge wedding weekend where I am not only a bridesmaid, but the matron-of-freaking-honor? That's right, I had a four alarm hair-mergency.

9:00 last Saturday morning: Salon calls to cancel appointment I've had on the books for over a month because highly recommended stylist (HRS) has strep. Totally screwed up not only my day, but Stacey's, who stayed the night to babysit during appointment.

5:00: Appointment is re-scheduled, but shoved in. Consultation with HRS is rushed and rather vague. HRS is painting the top five inches of my hair only with some sort of mixed color and I'm feeling slightly nervous that the top and bottom won't blend. The words "multi-tonal color" and "totally natural" were thrown around and I had visions of walking out of the salon looking like my blonde, 2-year-old daughter.

5:25: HRS approaches my chair and tells me not to worry, the color will never come out as dark as it is looking.

6:00: Random girl washes me out and HRS comes to the sink to comment on how great the color looks.

6:15: Return to seat with wet hair and see the distinct glimmer of a brassy, coppery, auburny monstrosity painted around the top five inches of my hair. Die a little.

6:20: Get word that HRS does not have time to blow dry my hair and after he slaps a little product in, I am ushered to the front desk where I am told to pay $100. Abandon gift certificate from daughter for Mother's Day and pay the difference. Die a little.

6:30: Immediately call Lisa. Clicking can be heard in the background as she's sharing my nightmare with the world via Twitter. Die a little.

6:45: Dry hair and realize it's not as bad as I thought it was. It's WORSE. I have red roots and a blonde bottom. Leave panicky message with salon where I bumble about brassy hair, a matron of honor speech and broken dreams. Die COMPLETELY.

Conclusion? I had to spend an additional three hours today having bleach painted on my head in an effort to cut the red. The woman who was commisioned to fix the HRS' botch job did the best she could, but my hair is now orange instead of red and I am dead inside*.

Cheers!

*Okay, okay I know there are BIGGER problems in the world. MUCH BIGGER. But I have ugly hair and thus permission to be dramatic.

Tag, you're it...

Want to change your avatar in support of Elana Johnson's upcoming release of POSSESSION on June 7th? Easy! Just right click on the above image and save in a place you'll be able to remember. You're now ready to exchange your picture with the new tag! If you have any questions, please email us and we'd be happy to help. YOU'RE OFFICIALLY TAGGED. GO!

The Top 5 Reasons you need to read DECEPTION (HAUNTING EMMA). Now.

1. Let's not bury the lead here, today we are GIVING AWAY a copy of DECEPTION (HAUNTING EMMA) by Lee Nichols. To enter all you have to do is be a follower and leave your best ghost story in the comments. The contest is open until 11:59 PM on Sunday June 6th. Trust me, you want to enter this contest and if you don't win, you absolutely need to order the book immediately. It's that good. Seriously.

2. It's a ghost story. And who doesn't love a good ghost story? I dare you not to want to read this book after you've read the following description from Amazon.com: When Emma's parents disappear she finds herself in the hands of a new guardian—her college-age "knight in J.Crew armor," Bennett Stern. But she can't shake the strange visions that are haunting her. She has memories she can't explain, and Emma doesn't trust anyone anymore—except maybe Bennett. But he's about to reveal a ghostly secret to Emma. One that will explain the visions . . . and make Emma fear for her life.

3. Emma ROCKS. I mean, I love her. She's so funny, fresh, independent and self-assured--all of the qualities so many YA heroines seem to lack these days. 

4. The romance. I don't want to give anything away, but let's just say that the romantic tension JUMPS off the page in this book. It's always fun to read a novel that reminds you what it's like to fall in love for the first time and DECEPTION definitely delivers.

5. You're going to want to know what happens next. DECEPTION is the first book in a series and trust me when I say you're really going to want to know what happens next. The ending of this book made me want to jump up and down and scream. And then it made me want to read the next book in the series. Immediately.

So, you've got your orders: 

1. Enter our contest to win DECEPTION by leaving a ghostly comment on this post and following our blog.

2. Check back on Monday to see if you've won.

3. If you don't win, order your copy of DECEPTION immediately.

4. Read the book and e-mail me so we can dish about it. I can't wait to hear what you guys think!

How to Be Perky by LiLa

Now, if that's not the definition of perky, I don't know what is.

Okay, let's face it, being perky, like Kelly Ripa perky, either takes a nasty cocaine habit (Lisa swears Kelly was one of Ted Casablanca's Blind Vices) or a step-by-step guide. Since cocaine is expensive and addictive (oh yeah, and sort of illegal), we consider the guide to be a bit more user-friendly with the added benefit of an especially low risk of jail time. And let's not forget the convenience factor! Now you don't have to waste your time asking this question or even this one. You're welcome.

LiLa's 5-Step Guide to Perky Power

Step 1. Take a shower. Yes, this may seem obvious, but it's hard to feel perky with greasy hair. And before you slip into those yoga pants, think again. Studies prove that getting dressed in street clothes improve perkiness by up to 97%. Just kidding, go ahead and pull on those comfy yoga pants. Being perky is a lot easier when you're wearing an elastic waistband.

Step 2. Make some coffee, shoot back a couple of No-Doz Jessie Spano Style, rip into a Perky Jerky or watch a few funny YouTube videos. By the end of step 2, you should be ready to either run a marathon or tackle your day feeling all perk-a-licious. (Making up new words is totally optional, but certainly can't hurt.)

Step 3. Use air quotes and other animated hand gestures as much as humanly possible. This step is not for the faint of heart and we wouldn't recommend it unless we were sure it worked. You'll know you're on the right track if people feel like it's necessary to keep a minimum of 5 feet between you and them. The key here is that you want to give the impression that you were once a cheerleader or maybe even in drama club. Big movements, especially jazz hands, if you can swing 'em, always help.

Step 4. Endorse something or someone. Kelly Rippa pimps washing machines, Suzanne Sommers has the Thigh Master, and we prefer to spend our time stalking...er...recommending authors who we love. I mean what's the point of being perky if you're not spreading the love?

Step 5. Take a nap. Let's be honest, all that perkiness is kind of exhausting.

So, the next time you wake up in the morning feeling all crabby and (gasp!) un-perky. Just follow our simple 5-step program and you too will be ready to host the morning news sans illegal white powder. Or at least crank out a couple of amusing blog posts.

Happy Wednesday!

From Birkins to Burqas, SATC2 Sucked

Last week as I was sitting in the doctor's office waiting to be called, a woman and her husband sat directly across from me. Normally, I wouldn't have even looked up from my BlackBerry, but this woman was wearing a burqa.

I noticed.

I tried not to stare, but there's something fascinating and a little eerie about seeing only a woman's eyes. And it's not something you run into often in Cleveland, Ohio. I found myself sneaking little peeks at her, wondering what she was wearing beneath her black robes, wondering if her whole face was as gorgeous as her eyes, wondering if she was thin or heavy or maybe even hiding a baby bump.

The wait was long and the waiting room was restless. We made eye contact and shared a quick eye roll about another patient yammering on her cell phone. I smiled. It was nice to make a connection. Soon after, we both disappeared into exam rooms and I didn't think of her again.

Until Friday night when we decided to have a girls' night out to see Sex And the City 2. As you guys know we were excited to go see a fun, silly movie. And it was fun.

We had a great dinner beforehand and the movie started off ridiculous, but entertaining. Let's just say you don't walk into Sex And the City and expect an oscar worthy film. And I'm not a movie snob. I can sit through (and enjoy) just about any movie including Bride Wars. What can I say? It's a gift.

We had some laughs at the girls' expense throughout the film. The dialogue was forced, the outfits were ridiculous and their lives were completely unrealistic, but it was still fun. And then they went to Abu Dhabi and that's where things started to get uncomfortable.

The scene where the ladies observe a woman wearing a burqa at a restaurant and wait with bated breath for her to eat a french fry kind of worked. Their curiosity reminded me of myself in that waiting room. How would she eat the french fries? Was there a mouth hole in the burqa? The woman delicately lifted the burqa and put a single french fry in her mouth and Carrie quipped about her dedication to fried food. It was interesting to watch American characters deal with a tradition so outside our social norms. Especially characters who were created to embody sexual freedom and empowerment for women. I'll never forget that scene.

But things went downhill from there. The women took Abu Dhabi by storm, completely ignoring and at times, ridiculing, the culture of the country where they were guests. Samantha's racy encounter with a man at dinner would have been offensive just about anywhere, but in a Muslim country it was grounds for arrest. By the time we reached the climax of the movie (no pun intended) Samantha had almost been stoned to death in an outdoor market and the women were all running around in burqas like they were middle eastern clown costumes.

The tone was all wrong. Characters that I'd grown to love after six television seasons were ridiculing Muslim women and their beliefs. And no matter how repressive we find the burqa in America, it made me angry to watch American characters go to a foreign country and completely disrespect their culture.

I think a commenter at IFC.com said it better than I'll ever be able to:

"[SATC 2] is an accidental candid snapshot of the sick, dying heart of America, a film so pleased with its vacuous, trashy, art-free extravagance that its poster should be taped to the dingy walls of terrorist sleeper agents worldwide. More depressing and alarming than the movies themselves is the notion that a certain culture, a certain mindset, birthed it, without a pang of remorse or even apparent self-awareness, much less self-criticism. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why they hate us."

On my way home from the movie I couldn't stop thinking about the woman I'd seen in the doctor's office earlier in the week. Somehow the movie made me feel like I'd just paid $10 for the cinematic equivalent of spitting in her face.

So tell us, those of you who have seen the movie, are we taking it too seriously?