Welcome Keynote by author Josh Berk

We are kicking off WriteOnCon with an inspiring (and highly entertaining) keynote from author Josh Berk. Josh's debut novel, THE DARK DAYS OF HAMBURGER HALPIN (Knopf) was published in February 2010 and his second book is scheduled for release in Spring of 2011.

Myths and Misconceptions by literary agent Holly Root, and editors Molly O’Neill and Martha Mihalick

Have you always wondered what agents and editors are REALLY thinking? Tune into this amazing Q&A session with literary agent Holly Root and editors Molly O’Neill and Martha Mihalick. Don't miss this fascinating inside look at publishing!

Please note: We've posted this discussion in two parts due to it's length, but believe me you'll want to watch the entire thing. Enjoy!

P.S. Special thanks to Holly's husband Jon Root for his mad vlog editing/moderating skills.

Tell the Truth Tuesday: The WriteOnCon Edition

Truth #1: We're exhausted and quasi-terrified of moderating the livestream workshops on Wednesday and Thursday.

Truth #2: I know you're sick of hearing it, but WriteOnCon is made of win. Please go check it out today! We promise you won't be disappointed.

Truth #3: My favorite moment of Entourage this season so far is when Jeremy Piven referred to LiLo as Blohan. Awesome.

Truth #4: This might be one of the most informative publishing vlogs of all time. Check it out here.

Truth #5: Joanna Volpe is one of our favorite people on the planet. This awesome query critique is one of the many reasons she rocks.

What's your truth this Tuesday? We're hoping to get lots of confessions about people attending WriteOnCon instead of working....

WriteOnCon is here!!! (Well, almost...)

Well, we've got a REALLY busy week ahead of us with the awesomeness that is WriteOnCon. Have you registered? Have you seen the final schedule? Have you entered Joanna Volpe's awesome query critique contest? And even if you're not ready to query, you really should go follow the super amazing Coffey. Tea. And Literary blog because they've got all kinds of great info for aspiring writers over there AND they just announced a fabulous new deal for one of our favorite writers on the planet Shelley Moore Thomas.

Because we're going to be up to our eyeballs in WriteOnCon fabulousity all week we've decided to feature some of our favorite lectures and vlogs from the conference every day instead of our regular posting schedule, so be sure to check back to see what we're buzzing about. We've been hard at work loading all of the content onto the site over the weekend and I have to tell you guys, this is going to be EPIC.

See you at the conference!

Launching WriteOnCon with a BANG - Query contest with Joanna Volpe

WriteOnCon is quickly approaching and we hope everyone is as excited as we are to dive in. We’ve have been completely blown away by all of the amazing content we’ve received from agents, editors and writers and we can’t wait to share it with all of you!

In the meantime, one of our star panelists, über agent Joanna Volpe of Nancy Coffey Literary & Media Representation, has generously offered to get this party started with a mega query critique contest. And some of you (ahem) have some new and improved queries that we're sure will catch Joanna's eye.

Get. Excited.

Here’s how it’s going to work:

• Joanna will select three queries to critique on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. We’ll post her critiques on the WriteOnCon blog and the Coffey. Tea. And. Literary. blog. These lucky writers will have the chance to revise their query and resubmit it to be considered for the big prizes to come.
• On Thursday August 11th Joanna will select one of her favorite queries to win a ten page critique from both Joanna AND their amazing assistant, Sara. A double-eyed critique!
• On Friday August 12th Joanna will select the grande prize winner who will send their query + 20 pages + 2-page synopsis.  The lucky winner will get a query critique, a 20-page critique from Joanna AND Sara, and a 10 minute phone convo to discuss the whole sellability of the project and the direction it’s going in, plus to answer any questions from the critique. (editorial note: I almost fell out of my chair when I read the description of this prize. AMAZING!)

To enter:

• Post your query in the WriteOnCon forums here (you can post throughout the conference, but post by 11:59 EST on Sunday if you want to be considered for ALL of the prizes!); and
• Follow the AMAZING Coffey. Tea. And Literary. blog.

Please e-mail writeoncon@gmail.com with any questions. Happy querying!

The Bookanistas: YOU WISH an interview with Mandy Hubbard

This week we'd like to welcome the amazing Mandy Hubbard to the Bookanistas! Mandy is the author of Prada & Prejudice, You Wish, and five other to-be-published novels for teens. She is also a literary agent for D4EO Literary, where she represents authors of middle grade and teen fiction. You Wish is her second novel and it releases today.

Naturally we had some very serious questions for her....

1. Tell us about your book in 140 characters or less.
Kayla's Sweet Sixteen Bites. She wishes all of her past birthday wishes would come true. Then they do, one every day. And its a wild ride.

2. Where did you get the idea for YOU WISH? (As the official idea whores we have a vested interest here.)
I am the sort of person who tends to actively brainstorm for ideas, rather than wait for the magical idea fairy to visit me. One of my ways is to think of things characters may want-- whether that is a realistic thing (Get into harvard! Get Revenge on someone! etc) or unrealistic (Make wishes come true via magic.)

One night I was falling alseep, thinking: What if you gave someone EVERYTHING they wished for-- not just their current, most-longed for desire, but things from that past? I remember grinning as I imagined a 16 year old getting a life-sized My Little Pony that she wanted when she was 3. And I thought to myself, "DUDE. It is a LIFE SIZED MY LITTLE PONY. How can I not write that book?" But I also thought, "It is almost midnight and you are half-asleep, there is no way this idea will sound as cool in the morning."

I actually FORGOT the idea for a couple of days and then it hit me again, and I knew I had to write it.

3. Someone has a pair of scissors to your head (oooh, SCARY!) and you have to choose: Awesome title or gorgeous book cover?
COVER!! I am obsessed with book covers, and they are far more memorable to me than titles. Sometimes I meet people and they tell me their title and I think I've never heard of it, then I see the cover and am like, *Facepalm*.

4. When did you know you had to be a writer?
Hmm.... 23? I started writing at 20. I wrote for three years (six or seven books) without ever thinking I was a writer. It was a hobby, not who I was. But then I read a regency romance, fell in love, and wanted to be published. And PRADA & PREJUDICE, my debut, does actually take place in Regency England. So it was like going full circle. :-)

5. Twizzlers or M&Ms?
Oh, uh-uh. I say Skittles. If you do not have skittles, we will go to the store and get them.

Now, go order your copy of YOU WISH. Our copy is on its way and can't wait to dive in!

Want to see what the other Bookanistas are up to on this steamy Thursday? Check out the links below:


Elana Johnson Recommends THE DUFF
Shelli Johannes-Wells Recommends PERSONAL DEMONS
Scott Tracey is Spreading Some Cover Love
Beth Revis Recommends THE ETERNAL ONES
Myra McEntire Shares the Top 10 Reasons She Loves The Mortal Instruments Series by Cassie Clare
Shannon Messenger Recommends CANDOR
Carolina Valdez Miller Recommends THE BODY FINDER

Queries, queries and more queries!

So, we're still digging out from under the query letters sent our way last week. And we have to say, this is super-fun. You guys have some excellent ideas. And as much as we'd love to say we were the reason K.M. Walton made her big announcement yesterday, it would be a big old LIE. Her query rocked before we even hit send!

Anyways, here's another amazing query we thought you all would get a kick out of. This is Jared Larson's query for his middle grade novel I'M HERE TO SAVE YOUR DAY: THE ADVENTURES OF BO WOLF. Enjoy!

Dear Agent,

Bo Wolf is just your average bully-slaying fifth grader. Sure, the other kids tease him about his arms looking like flexi-straws, and they tell him to go back to his home on Dweeb Island, but Bo doesn't care. With his mad fencing skills and soon-to-be ravishing good looks, he's convinced he's on the way to becoming king of [insert school name here].

After impressing a school yard gang by defeating their leader in a broomstick combat, Bo agrees to help them take on the meanest, ugliest, and biggest bully known to man– Grendul– who's taken the playground jungle gym for his own.

However, when Bo puts the smack-down on Grendul, he finds a much more powerful adversary in the bully's mom, the school lunch lady. Angered by her precious son's defeat, she plots to poison the entire school with her irresistible ginger snaps. When Bo discovers her diabolical plan, he must find his courage to save his friends from an imminent cafeteria induced death.

Complete at 34,000 words, I'M HERE TO SAVE YOUR DAY: THE ADVENTURES OF BO WOLF is a middle grade retelling of Beowulf, set within the tumultuous battlefields of the middle school playground. [Insert reason why you are querying them here].

Hooked, right? So, what are you digging out from under on this lovely Wednesday in August?

Tell the Truth Tuesday: Me, Ice Cream and Jennifer Love Hewitt

My truth this Tuesday: I spent last night with a huge bowl of ice cream and Jennifer Love Hewitt's The Client List on Lifetime On Demand. I kept the remote handy so I could pause the movie and jot down any random thoughts.

You're welcome.

0:01:39 - Advice from J. Love to her 9-year-old daughter: "Life is easier if you're pretty. Does a girl no good to be good at video games." Tough love, J. Love. Tough love.

0:02:57 - Advice from J. Love to her Cougar-esque mother: "These scientists did a test and found out that the smell of pumpkin brings blood flow to a man's you know what faster than anything else." I'm surprised she didn't mention anything about vagazzles.

0:06:05 - Wow, for a character who supposedly got bamboozled into an adjustable rate mortgage, J. Love is surprisingly knowledgeable about the current mortgage crisis. 

0:09:07 - Ruh-roh. J. Love got a job at the Kind Touch Health Spa. Something tells me the touch is going to be a little kinder than she had bargained for...

0:09:25 - Even better the characters keep saying the name of the spa over and over again in conversation. "Hey, what time do you have to report to Kind Touch Health Spa for work in the morning?" Awesome. 

0:12:04 - Did you hear that? It's the sound of my sobs echoing from Cleveland. The Madame of Kind Touch Health Spa just revealed that she originally dreamed of being a novelist, but "turning tricks pays much better." I think I'm going to need more ice cream.

0:12:43 - And the hits just keep on comin'. when one of the ladies makes reference to doing a "teensy bit more" than just a massage, J. Love asks for more info and the Madame responds with "Well, like my writin' teacher always says, show me don't tell me." And now they're watching an underage hooker and her John from a two way mirror. Somewhere in Maine Stephen King is weeping.

0:17:36 - "This is America! A girl looks pretty she's not supposed to be poor." On a private jet somewhere between here and Dubai, Paris Hilton is nodding her head as she watches this cinematic masterpiece.

0:22:49 - J. Love is christened Brandy ("because she'll go down real smooth") and one of her hooker friends confesses she ran away from home to try out for American Idol, but they told her she wasn't ready. Now she's turning tricks to save for a singing coach. Who says the American Dream is dead?

0:44:10 - J. Love is a very busy hooker, mostly because she brings her clients cookies. Well played, J. Love. Well played.

0:47:09 - The only problem with being the most popular hooker at the Kind Touch Health Spa is that J. Love is VERY tired. Good thing one of her thoughtful clients brings her some coke. I'm predicting a Jessie Spano style breakdown in short order. I could not be more excited. 

0:49:15 - Note to self: If you make a cake while high on cocaine apparently you'll be ready to compete on Cake Wars. 

0:55:03 - I've never seen so much nose rubbing combined with extended bathroom trips in my entire life. Good old Brandy is looking deliciously twitchy. 

0:59:02 - Yowsers, the Kind Touch was busted and J. Love's husband caught it on the evening news. Something tells me this one doesn't end like Pretty Woman...

1:07:31 - AND we've had the requisite Tiger Woods reference. I think it's time to start wrapping this up, don't you?

1:13:12 - Say what you will about J. Love's lackluster Texan accent and below average acting skills, but the girl has phenomenal hair and a fabulous body. Just sayin'.

1:23:23 - The moral of the story for young women across America: Low on cash? Become a hooker, make loads of money and then sell out all your clients when you get caught to avoid jail time. As the working gals in the movie are so fond of saying, "Beats waitressing!"

1:25:33 - Oh delicious irony, now J. Love is a waitress. 

1:31:02 - And they all live happily ever after. J. Love gets her husband back in Chuck E. Cheese's and I'm left feeling slightly nauseous after eating way too much ice cream and pondering the parallels between my double life as a writer/mother and J. Love's double life as a hooker/mother.

• We both have a hard time waking up in the morning on account of all the late nights. 
• We have moments where we snap at our kids; and 
• Our husbands occasionally threaten to leave us if we don't stop working so hard. 

I guess the main difference is that J. Love got super skinny as she was further embroiled in her double life as a whore and I just keep getting fatter and fatter as I consume more and more Twizzlers to feed my muse. Of course, I'll take writer's butt over a coke habit any day of the week. 

How's that for a random truth this Tuesday? Let's hear what you've got to confess in the comments.

LiLa in Training...

It's Monday. I'm hormonal and sweltering (for some reason my husband has turned our air conditioning off....WTF???), so this post is going to get a little mushy.

Deal with it.

Laura had a wedding this weekend, so we were lucky enough to watch Lydia for the night. For the first time EVER Lydia and Mia actually played together. I mean, sure they spend excessive amounts of time hanging out while Laura and I film vlogs and eat Twizzlers, but we've never really seen them play with each other. 

Until now.

Watching Mia and Lydia bond this weekend reminded me so much of how Laura, Stacey and I grew up together. As they laughed, sang songs from The Glee soundtrack, danced to Yo Gabba Gabba, fought over toys, and had random conversations about princess shoes, I couldn't help but wonder what they'll be like in twenty years. Will they be besties? Will they hate each other? Will they still discuss the merits of princess shoes? 

And of course a big part of me wonders....Will they design gorgeous stationary? Will they read our books? Will they write their own? 

I have no idea. But I'm excited to find out. 

SHHHH....

Inara Scott is the author of a YA series, but she isn’t sure what to call it anymore. See, Delcroix Academy: The Candidates was released in August 2010, from Disney-Hyperion. It was a lovely little book, and book 2 in the series, Delcroix Academy: The Watchers, was all ready to be released a year later. They made a cover. They printed ARCs.

But then The Mouse decided Inara’s little book deserved NEW covers and NEW titles to celebrate its fabulousness. (Seriously, I think she believes that!) And nothing works quickly in publishing so this pushed out the release date for the paperback of The Candidates (which is now The Talents, coming March 2012) and The Watchers (which is now The Marked, coming April 2012).

Confused yet? Yeah, right, okay, whatever. Anyway, forget all that. Book Two in Dancia’s story will be released someday. You can preorder it here and by all means, please mark it TBR so The Mouse knows how much you love and adore Inara (You do, right? Seriously, did you get that thing she sent in the mail for you? Really, it’s not a bribe. Well, maybe a little one. But don’t tell anyone, okay?).

In the meantime, Inara will be giving away all sorts of ARCs and releasing additional content on her website, Facebook page and if you’re not careful, Twitter. And the fun begins TODAY with the answer to the question you’ve all been asking:

WHAT HAPPENED TO JACK?  

Yeah, yeah, we know the story’s about Dancia, and she’s smart and tough and has wicked cool powers. But what readers really want to know is what happened to Jack?! So, here’s that exclusive content. For one day only, a prequel to The Marked (The Watchers, whatever!!!), that occurs days after the end of The Candidates (The Talents – WHATEVER!!)…

****

I was used to running—and hiding. I’d been practicing since I was a kid, when it was my mom and me running, and the one we were hiding from was my dad. But this was different. These people knew how to track. Every time I thought I’d lost them, a new, suited figure would appear, casually scanning the street. Or there would be a woman sitting at the edge of a park, pretending to be reading a book, but never glancing down at her hands.

A teenager studying the crowd at the mall. 

An older man, his hand resting at his hip.

Watching. Waiting for me to slip up, make a mistake.

Relax.

With no way to earn any money and no one to ask for help, I resorted to robbing convenience stores. I hated doing that, though not because I had any compunction about breaking the law. Let me tell you, I lost that a long time ago. No, I hated stealing because it drew attention. Even those idiots at the 7-11 had some kind of direct line to the local TV news. And they had cameras. There were always cameras.

Eventually, I decided to head down I-5 to Portland. I thought I’d try hitching, but that made me feel too exposed, so I got off the highway and stole a car from a motel. That worked better but then I had to watch out for the cops and the Delcroix thugs. I ditched the car a few miles outside of Portland, and walked the rest of the way into town.  At least once I was there I figured I could get some help. My old gang wasn’t pretty, but they knew how to hide someone.

I refused to use my freak-power. I don’t know how they tracked it, but it seemed the moment I flexed my mental muscles, their snipers popped up all around me.

I ended up in Portland on a hot, sunny day. I knew most of the gang would be downtown or by one of the bridges, but those spaces were too public, especially when the weather was nice. Instead, I walked down the paved path that ran along the east side of the Willamette River. When I was several miles from downtown, I followed a footpath into the wooded area between the path and the river. It was quiet there, with only the whir of bike tires on the path and the distant sound of a boat on the river breaking the silence. I walked past the remnants of an old campfire, and skirted a pile of garbage. Homeless camp.

Been there done that. 

When I got closer to the water, I found an overturned log and sat on top of it. I wished I had brought a water bottle, or some food. My stomach rumbled and my head spun a little. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a full meal.

Now that I’d stopped moving, the hopelessness of my situation finally hit. What was I going to do next? Rob a bank? Head for Mexico? Their snoops could find me there. They could find me anywhere.

For a moment, the image of a girl with curly blonde hair and piercing blue eyes filled my mind. I wondered what she was doing. I wondered if she missed me.

I wondered if she was with him.

Without realizing, I’d made my hand into a fist. I released it and told myself to forget about her.

“You alone down there?” a voice called out behind me.

I jumped, so startled by the intrusion that I almost fell off the tree. The guy approaching me was beefy, with thick biceps that strained the edges of his faded red t-shirt. His face was round and soft, and in another setting I might have guessed he was friendly. Maybe even kind. But then I saw the intensity radiating from his eyes.

Nothing friendly about that.

I forced myself not to react visibly, but every muscle in my body tensed.

“Yeah,” I said. “What’s it to you?”

He ambled over and extended a large, meaty hand. “I’m Thaddeus.”

“Jack.”

He gave me a firm shake, but I had the feeling if he wanted, he could have swung me around in the air like a toy. He dropped my hand and turned to the river. A thick layer of brush, blackberry brambles, and cottonwood trees blocked our view, but the sun reflecting off the water sparkled through holes in the foliage.

“Bet you’re hungry,” he said.

I stared at his broad back. “What makes you think that?” My heart started to pound. Was he one of them? Without moving, I began to draw in energy from the world around me, feeling it crackle in my chest.

“I wouldn’t,” he said. “The others are right behind me. They won’t appreciate it if you try something.”

Did he know what I was doing, or was that simply a really good guess? I supposed it didn’t matter; I redoubled my efforts, and then imagined the coil of air looping around his neck.

“What could I do against you?” I scoffed. “You’re like, ten times bigger than me.”

Adrenaline and fear mixed together. After weeks of running, I was ready for a fight.

“Let’s not play games, Jack,” Thaddeus said. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the trunk of a tree. With an exhalation of breath, he squatted slightly and then stood, pulling the tree from the ground like picking a daisy. I heard cracking from somewhere at our feet, and a small collection of branches fell from the sky. Then he rotated the trunk in either direction, turning left and right, snapping and ripping whatever roots were holding the tree into place.

He was one of them. But why all this fuss? Why spend time proving his power? Why not simply kill me and be done with it?

“I won’t be watched,” I said flatly, coming to my feet. “I’d rather be dead.”

Thad nodded and tossed the tree to the side. It crashed through the underbrush, landing with an enormous thud. Then he turned back to me. He wiped his hands together and smiled. “I agree. I’ve come to give you a different alternative.” 

***

And now that you’ve read the excerpt, you can enter to win a copy of The Marked. Details for the contest can be found here: http://inarascott.tumblr.com/. 

Top Five Things We Learned This Week

1. We'd rather go naked than wear words. Er...that's not quite right. Just check out our guest blog on Querypolitan for proof that fashion and writing go hand-in-hand in spite of the fact that most of the writers we know spend 99% of their time in pajamas.

2. Bitch sessions on Skype are cheaper than therapy. It's true. Instant messaging provides a 24/7 outlet for our writerly angst. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

3. We're not at SCBWI LA and we're bitter. To see just how bitter, check out our guest blog over at Market My Words. 

4. WriteOnCon is going to be AMAZING. We've been reading the faculty lectures and watching the vlogs as they come in and you guys are going to be blown away. August 10 - 12th, it's free so even poor writers like us have no excuse not to be there.

5. Jennifer Love Hewitt has a new nickname, thank you random commenter on UsMagazine.com. According to an amazingly astute commenter who goes by the name "???" J. Love has been dubbed Jennifer Love Desperate. Awesome on so many levels. According to the caption on this photo "Jennifer Love Hewitt cuddled with a dog Tuesday in Beverly Hills." What it should have said, "Jennifer Love Desperate spent three  hours with a team of 10 stylists to achieve a casual, just chilling look and then stole someone's dog in order to entice the paparazzi into taking her picture after her publicist had paid them to show up." P.S. I'm DYING to see The Client List. How have I not seen this movie yet? 

Have a fabulous weekend everyone! May it be filled with trashy television and fabulous books...and, in our case, AMAZING queries!

P.S.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to our amazing beta reading bestie Loretta Nyhan. To celebrate Loretta is giving away all kinds of amazing prizes on her blog including a full manuscript critique. You guys are crazy if you don't go over there and enter. We would be completely lost without Loretta's amazing insight on our work. So get over there, follow her blog and wish her a happy birthday!