As a very wise frog once said, "It ain't easy being green," and lately, I'm feeling his pain.
Jealousy is a bitch.
Whether I'm drooling over my friend's recent vacation pictures, admiring a stranger's fabulous ensemble in the grocery store or scanning the YA section at the book store, I've had a raging case of the green meanies lately. Now don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I have friends who take fab vacays and I love reading publishing success stories, but I also sort of feel like throwing myself on the ground in a collassal temper tantrum because I WANT IT TOO!
Here's the thing, I'm actually a pretty competative person, but throughout my life I've always been very careful to only play games that I know I can win. Horrible? Yes. Lazy? Definitely. But it's also the (rather pathetic) truth.
So here I am now, jobless for the first time since I was 15-years-old with our debut novel on submission to publishers; aspiring to do something that 99.9% of people fail at doing. In the past I would have given up after our first query rejection. Or I would never have even tried in the first place because really, what's the point if your chances at success are this slim?
But things are different now. I see those books in the bookstore and my stomach clenches. I want this and I will not give up until I get it. I have no idea where this journey is going to take us, but I know one thing for sure, we'll get there eventually.
Oh, and for that woman at the grocery store, the one with the Tory Burch sandals I've been drooling over and the Marc Jacobs bag that I'd seriously consider giving up my first born for, watch your back.
I have a Nordstrom's charge and I'm not afraid to use it.
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12 comments:
GAH! The thing is, you are so close. Keep reminding yourself that 99% of the population never makes it as far as you have. And then keep going.
I wish I had a Nordstrom nearby...
Amen! You go, girl!! Never give up, never surrender!
OMGosh - I have the same problem when I go to the bookstore. UUGGHH. But, I have NO DOUBT where you guys are headed...and let me just say that if I could preorder your book right now, I would.
You guys are making me weep. I so feel like this sometimes. And you're so close! Keep your eye on the prize. Eye on the prize.
You guys are so close. You can do this!
That's right! 99% NEVER even get close. You're there Baby! you. are. there!
You are SO not alone in that feeling! And I feel certain, just from reading your blog, that your novel is good enough to be published!
Anyone who doesn't confess to getting jealous sometimes is totally lying. Especially when you're a writer who wants to see your book published! I can SO relate and I don't even have an agent so imagine how jealous I am of you! ha
Ahh, love that shout to Nordstrom. I used to work there as a Visual Merchandising Manager. Good times and yes they have some sweet bags and shoes. I think you need to plan on paying them a visit once you get that publisher.
Does basking in the joy of perfect-agent-achieval fade so quickly????
Remind youself where you are and how relatively quickly you have gotten here. That means you have talent and the publishing gods will be smiling upon you shortly :D
Ok, put the Nordstrom card down and take a breath! You should never accessorize angry. Or jealous. Whatever. Let's just say I had a little pity party a year ago and I won't tell you what I spent in the course of an hour (it ends with "ousand") and got into a horrible fight with hubby because he found the bags at the *bottom* of the trash can. Then there was the time I came home and a hidden bag was on my bathroom counter, receipt placed every so neatly in front of it.
The point?
When Major calls and says that General Editor bought you will get to spend happily to celebrate and hubby can't say jack.
I'm glad I'm here to help you muddle through.
Oh gosh, I hope I didn't sound all whiney and needy. That really wasn't my intention.
Becca - Thanks (as always) for all of your encouragement! You are seriously an inspiration.
Sara - Right back at ya!
Christine - That totally made my day! Thank you. Bookstore envy is sort of agonizing, right? Glad I'm not the only one.
Elana - Misery loves company right? It definitely does make me feel better to know that we're not alone.
Danyelle - Thank you! Guess it's just one of those days where it doesn't feel very close, but I really hope you're right!
Katie - I awlays knew you were a glass half full kinda gal.
Corey - Thank you so much! I hope you're right...the blog is so random, but then again, so is the book, so maybe that's a good thing? We'll see.
Tess - Ha! See how fickle we are? One moment thrilled with our fancy new agent and the next frustrated that we haven't scored a 3-book-deal with a 6-figure advance. Patience is a virtue that I seriously need to develop...
Rebecca - Ooh, you worked at Nordstroms!? So jealous. If I ever worked there I'm sure that I'd end up spending every penny that I made on clothes. Not good. And so glad to know that I'm not alone in my petty jealousies. It's totally natural, right?
LMJ - I love you. And my husband loves you too. Retail therapy will be SO much more rewarding when we have an advance to blow through.
i hear you! The pressure and stress never ends whether you get an agent, a book deal. You aare goong to want the next phase - a multi-book deal, a bestseller, a movie ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
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