Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The High Fashion Haiku

Took a little break from the rhymes and tried my hand at a few Haikus*. No, they are not about nature.





Open-toe, boot shoes
80s frames, signature scowl
let’s go to the beach.



Jutting collar bones
extending down the middle
I die, Rachel Zoe.



Early morning walk
torn men’s button down, black sneaks
added 50 years.



Pillows whilst traveling
okay if you’re under ten
not for twenty plus.



Yes, you rock the curves
but not a spandex onesie
another bad choice.


Oh dictionary
please paste this under d-bag
move over Gosselin.

*And yes, I might be practicing for this. I mean, they're having these contests once a week and it's like they were created for me, right?

41 comments:

Kimberly Franklin said...

Good job! I was laughing so hard my coworkers now think I'm crazy.

And the pictures...lol...classic!

Happy Wednesday!

Summer said...

Just exchange d-bag for d-fug and you'll be a shoe-in!

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

HHahahaha! Oh the Jersey Shore, never did a more guilty pleasure ever come into existence! I heard Snookie's getting her own show. You know where I'll be!

Carolyn V. said...

LOL! Love the Haikus! So funny (except the pictures - funny and scary all at the same time! Yikes).

Keri Mikulski said...

LOL. :)

Hardygirl said...

Yes!!! You are SO gonna win the Fug Girls Friday challenge. And, then I can say that I KNOW you . . .

sf

storyqueen said...

Alas, the spandex onesie!!

storyqueen said...

Alas, the spandex onesie!!

Nisa said...

Oh my! Your haiku so aptly described all of those photos. You're good!

Karen said...

lol...spot on!

Tess said...

Wait! Just hold your horses!!

no huge pillows on airplanes?


crap.

Corey Schwartz said...

absolutely hilarious!

Little Ms J said...

Ok, calm down there. I am totally down for your enlightened haikus, but the Jersey Shore? Those boys aren't D-bags. They're sweet, misguided little guidos. They love their mama's and live by very simple guidelines - GTL. Gym. Tan. Laundry.

Melissa said...

oh my gosh hahaha I love it...ps...rachel zoe looks like she might drop over dead. tomorrow. jussayin'

Christina Lee said...

I don't know what I'm laughing harder at--this post or Little Ms. J's comment. And oh.my....Rachel Zoe--yikes!

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

and the winner is

...drumroll...

open toe boot shoes!

LOL!

Stephanie Thornton said...

I clicked on you ladies' blog this morning, thinking, "I need a laugh. Who's blog will make me giggle?"

I had a feeling you wouldn't disappoint. Those were flipping hilarious!

Tamika: said...

Now these are some wild characters! Thanks for the do and don'ts.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Maybe you could bring your photos and do a guest lesson with my composition students - I have NO DOUBT you would be a hit. :-)

Kristy said...

Gah Rachel Zoe is SCARY

Tere Kirkland said...

I'm worried Rachel Zoe's stomach has already begun to eat her from the inside out.

Thanks for a fun post!

Elana Johnson said...

Oh, my heck, I'm horrified by every single one of those! My eyes! They're bleeding.

But your haiku is seamless. :)

Kim said...

LMAO! Those are great!

BA-NA-NAS! Get RZ some bananas! I can't believe she wore that after all her bad anorexia press. I am seriously shocked! But, I still love her. *ducks*

Angela said...

LOLOLOL! Perfect, every one of them!

Dara said...

I think those pictues are vomit inducing. :P And Rachel...I mean how can one still be ALIVE and look like that?? I think someone may need to stage an intervention.

The Haikus though were awesome :)

Jill Kemerer said...

Oh, oh!! I saw that Rachel Zoe picture in my beloved UsWeekly and I gagged! Does she not have a mirror? Yikes!

Lisa Marie said...

I did not even recognize Rachel Zoe! Ugh Somebody give that girl a Luna Bar!
Hilarious!!!! wheeeeeeeeee:)

Shannon Messenger said...

Oh noes! You'd think--with how many "people" these celebrities have helping them--that there wouldn't be so many disasters. And yet there seems to be an endless supply...

At least it's good poetry fodder!

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Ha!

Donna Gambale said...

Oh hilarity. I can always count on you ladies! I'm cheering for round 2 of high fashion haiku!

Jemi Fraser said...

Wow - do some of these folks own mirrors??

sunna said...

That was Teh Awesome, plus one. Seriously, it was just what I needed after a long day. Brilliant. :)

Mariah Irvin said...

I especially agree with the last haiku!

Lunar Amyscope said...

LiLa, I like the cut of your jib.

JennyMac said...

HHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa. This is genius.

Spandex onesie. HAHAHAHAHA.

Lori W. said...

You managed to work d-bag into a haiku! Classic LiLa. Your fun is our fun. No more scary Situation pics, please. Please no. :)

Natalie said...

Oh my gosh, still laughing.

SB said...

hilarious!!! refreshing and fun reads!

ann foxlee said...

I can't stop laughing
celebrities, so trashy...
what were they thinking?

thanks for the laugh ladies, seriously, i can't stop!

inthehammockblog said...

LOL hilarious! I love your blog!

Sara McClung ♥ said...

Oh. My. Goodness. I about just spit gatorade all over my shiny new laptop. Best. Post. EVER*. hahahhahaha

*of the non-writing industry ones anyway!