Monday, April 19, 2010
D-Bag-O-Meter: Matthew McConaughey
Oh, Matthew, where do we even begin? We have so many questions for you after watching your borderline unintelligible interview with Rachel Ray. The first of which is why the hell didn't one of the producers add subtitles? Although to be fair, I might mumble if I had to talk to Rachel Ray too. I mean, she's just so freaking perky.
Anyways, questions, we have lots. So it's probably best that we just get them all out on the table, yes?
1. Do you want to punch Rachel in the face when she says EVOO? (Sorry, I know it's off topic, but it's pertinent. I think the D-Bag-O-Meter might even show some leniency if the answer here was a yes...)
2. Um, sunglasses in an interview? Really?
3. A bedazzled beret??? COME ON! Might as well just rope a matching marf (man scarf) around your neck and call it a day.
4. The shout out to your wife who just popped out one of your babies by confusedly looking from camera to camera and then putting your arms up in the air and shouting "Camilla you're the champion!" Um...dude, no. Just no. If I was at home lactating while my husband gave me a seemingly-drug-addled shout out on national television there would be some serious hell to pay.
5. No changing diapers? I mean, at least pretend you change diapers. Throw us a bone here, Matthew. We want to like you. Really we do. But you spend an inordinate amount of time with your shirt off and you just don't strike us as an exceptionally responsible parent.
So...what's the verdict D-Bag-O-Meter? All right, all right, all right, Matthew. You know what I hate about these immature movie stars, man? They get older, they have kids, but mentally they stay the same age. Matthew, put your shirt on, ditch the sunglasses and change a freaking diaper if you want out of the Spencer zone.
Kisses and bong rips,