Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Shiloh vs. Zahara*


Okay, if you have no idea what the title of this post means and if you don't recognize the adorable kids pictured above, you should probably just stop reading now. The five minutes you'll spend reading this inanity are five minutes you'll never get back. Trust me.

For those of you who are on a first-name basis with the Jolie-Pitt brood, please check out this recent "news" item on UsMagazine.comWhich Jolie-Pitt Has the Best Style: Shiloh or Zahara?

A few things here:

1. The writer who pitched and then wrote this idea pretty much reserved themselves a spot in Hades. I mean these kids are three and four years old! Do you really need to be pitting them against each other like mini-CW starlets?

2. Who actually takes the time to comment on "news" articles like this? Okay, so I'm totally guilty of serial blog commenting, but at least that's reserved for people I sort of know. I can't imagine having something so burning to say about the Jolie-Pitt kids that I'd actually feel compelled to share my thoughts with fellow US Magazine junkies.

Which brings me to my third and final point....

3. The comments are BY FAR the most entertaining part of this whole affair. Some of our favorites:
  • From SKHG, (who may or may not be Roy Ashburn secretly commenting on his iPhone from an Abercrombie dressing room.) "I really hope Shiloh's not part of their plan to help the gays. I wouldn't doubt it one bit! They seem to be pushing something that started out as cute and funny. Being the strange people they are, I guess anything's possible." [LiLa commentary: Laura - Who says "gays" in a non-ironic context? Lisa - Bat shit crazy people.]
  • From B, "Is anyone else concerned about Shiloh? Why does she look like a boy?!?" [LiLa commentary: In a word: yes. We are concerned about Shiloh, B. But not concerned enough to leave a comment about it on UsMagazine.com. Oh no...we'll post an entire blog about it instead. Yeah, we like to take the high road.]
  • From Real, "whats with all you people downing on a girl who doesnt need to be girly? I think her hair is a refreshing change. there are too many long locked mini princesses already." [LiLa commentary: We hear ya, Real. It does seem a little bit excessive, no? Although, I've got a three-year-old and she really isn't capable of deciding her own style just yet. In fact, I dress her like I would like to dress myself if I were two feet tall and under 30 pounds. Something tells me there might be a little bit of that going on here.]
  • From They Are Both Prettier Than Maniston Ever Was, "To the Maniston weirdo who is bashing St. Angelina's kids - Maniston was never a cute kid. Her own mother wrote a book about how fugly she was growing up. Angie's kids are all beautiful." [LiLa commentary: Wow. Who knew people still really cared about the whole Jen vs. Angelina thing. I mean, no offense TABPTMEW, but isn't that whole debate so 2005? I mean, clearly Angelina won the battle, she got the guy and the career. Poor Jen has really amazing hair but hasn't been in a decent flick since her marriage collapsed. I think the whole "Maniston" nickname might be a little excessive. Why kick a girl when she's down?]
Well, there's your weekly dose of pop culture. Personally, as writers, we're SUPER excited for the inevitable tell-all books that will be published by these two in twenty years. I'll be first in line to pick up a copy of CONFUSED: MY LIFE DRESSED AS A SMALL PREPUBESCENT BOY by Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, although I'll be even more excited to read DADDY DEAREST: MY LIFE WITH A MAN WHO HATED WIRE HANGERS MORE THAN MY MOTHER HATED MANISTON by Zahara Jolie-Pitt.

Good times.

*Please note this post may be considered offensive if you are sensitive to tomboy preschoolers, anti-gay senators or if you are a frequent Abercrombie and Fitch shopper and a card carrying member of Team (M)Aniston.

45 comments:

Sheri Larsenッ said...

OMGosh...that's hilarious. People really write that stuff. Thanks for lifting my spirits this morning and highlighting two adorable kids. ";-)

Katie said...

I must say, I was laughing out loud at the very end - including the appropriate disclaimer. HA!

Matthew Rush said...

You gals are funny. Did you get my email?

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

Ahahahahaha! Ridiculous. Also Team Angelina all the way!!!

Cheree said...

LOL. That is so funny. You would have to wonder what top-notch writer cranked out an article like that.

Lola Sharp said...

Hilarious!

Kristi Helvig said...

As I was up til 1am editing, I'm forever grateful to you both for starting my morning with a laugh - hilarious!

Falen said...

AHAHAHAHAH!!!1
This post was SO funny!
ahhh, good times.

Candyland said...

HA! It's breaking news, people!

Emily J. Griffin said...

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Like losing sleep (not really). I had to explain to my sister the other day that Shiloh was indeed a little girl. She was confused, for good reason.

Honestly, I'm more than ok with the tomboy front. Looks to me like Shiloh really loves her dad and her brothers and wants to mimic their style. The haircut might be pushing it a little though. Merely because it does tip the scale so far in the boy direction for the casual observer. Otherwise, so what?

As for the Maniston lover... he does realize that Zahara isn't actually Angelina's, like, biological kid, right? He seems to be confused on this point. Her beauty doesn't really have squat to do with Angelina's. That's the way genetics work, genius.

Also, love the leggings. Is it just me or are kids clothes FAR cuter than grown-ups? Like in Target, I really really just want to shop in the girls section. SO MUCH CUTER.

Lisa said...

Lmao! Too funny!

confused homemaker said...

Really 4 year olds? It's like a battle royal at the local park. Don't gossip magazines have better to do like gossip about Kate & Jon Gosselin? I mean we all know that news *insert eyes a rolling here* Oh my...

But I am dying over the comments those really are priceless.

Talli Roland said...

Hahahahhaaaa!

Thanks for the laugh!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

I hadn't heard about this because I've been living in a bubble lately, but thanks for the laugh.

mountie9 said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the giggle this morning. Glad I am not famous or people would be going on about my youngest with his chia pet hair

Natalie said...

That was probably the funniest blog I've read in a month. Thanks for the laugh ladies.

Bethany Elizabeth said...

Um, can I just say I think they're both adorable, like four year olds are supposed to be? I don't know what it is, but I see lOTS of kids dressed up like teens here, not necessarily innapropriately (though sometimes... *shudder*) but with the layers, or the dyed hair, and so on... and it's just weird to me!
I mean, was I the only four year old whose mom dressed me in only pink dresses, curled my hair every Sunday, and tried desperately to keep me from digging in the dirt with my brothers? No?
:D
Hilarious post, by the way. I loved your extra comments!

Summer said...

I'm pretty sure when I was Shiloh's age, it was a battle to keep me from being naked, so kudos to Brad for getting her in actual clothes. :-)

Christina Lee said...

My brain hurts reading this kind of CRAP. But your commentary helped me through. Hilarious!

Loretta Nyhan said...

Too funny.

I don't have an issue with the whole tomboy thing. I know boy moms who've complained about their sons wanting to wear pink and paint their toes every color of the rainbow because they have older sisters. No biggee, I say. And I think Shiloh looks adorable. And anyway, in a couple of years Zahara's going to knock some fashion sense into her.

Simon C. Larter said...

This is one of those very rare times when all I can thing of to say is, "...."

JEM said...

I'm going to request that you add text to your asterisk at the bottom that this post could be considered offensive to Jennifer Aniston lovers. Don't hate, but I am still broken up about those two. I don't care if Jolie's adopting all of Africa, she's still a home wrecker (crap I need to stop reading gossip blogs...)

Marsha Sigman said...

After careful and deep thought...I have come up with a few reasons why Shiloh looks like a boy.

1) It was Brad's day to dress his half of the kids.
2) They are trying to disguise her to pass as Brad so they can dodge the papparazzi.
3) Brad fell victim to first child syndrome (where you dress your first born exactly like you until someone makes you stop). And for the record my son does not even remember having pink toenails.
4)They have so many kids, they have actually forgotten Shiloh is a girl.

They are both extremely cute though.

Marsha Sigman said...

FYI: My blog post today is all about winning the Roecker Extravaganza Package and how great you guys are!!!

Veronica Roth said...

"Laura - Who says "gays" in a non-ironic context?
Lisa - Bat shit crazy people."

Best. Thing. Ever.

Amy said...

*scratches head*

Well, I have no idea what you're talking about, but it's still funny. That's talent.

Jen said...

The only thing I got out of this wonderful post was...

Holy crap Shiloh does look like a boy!!!! I'm very concerned!

Oh and one more thing:

[LiLa commentary: Laura - Who says "gays" in a non-ironic context? Lisa - Bat shit crazy people.] That made me laugh out loud!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

LMAO!!! Ah, ladies, thank you for a laughter with tears moment. :-)

JEM said...

Oh, huzzah, L&L, you bat shit crazy people loving fools!

Shelli (srjohannes) said...

hollywood is sick! so......who won?

Carolyn V. said...

LOL!!!! Ah...good times. Good times. =)

Scott Tracey said...

For what its worth, I'm Team Shiloh all the way.

But I'm also Team Roecker, so everything works out for the best.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

Haha. It's a strange world when two kids are pitted against eachother. The thing they should be worried about is who pushes who first on the swings. lol.

Tahereh said...

it took me exactly the length of that entire article to realize that shiloh is NOT supposed to look like a boy.

because shiloh is a girl.

WTH??

i'm so confused by these people and their too-much-time-on-their-hands syndrome.

Bish Denham said...

Sad....

Doreen McGettigan said...

I agree with sad..and the kids really look sad too..

Lisa_Gibson said...

You two always make me laugh out loud. Those kids don't look great though. Poor Shiloh. I'd opt for the 2nd title, "Daddy Dearest..." So funny.

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

Oh gosh gotta love how the press over dramatizes everything and I should know. Um, I guess I can kinda be a drama queen. Shhh I will never admit this to the hubby lol!

Sara B. Larson said...

I scrolled down to try and find the picture of Shiloh - I thought that was just another boy next to Zahara on the playground at first. Ugh... yeah.

Hilarious post, thanks for the laugh ladies!

Jemi Fraser said...

Gotta admit I didn't have a clue who the kids were - with or without the title/names. Sad I know!

I can't believe tabloids and people are picking on kids. Wow. Takes all kinds I guess. But we could do without some of them.

Larissa said...

Yeah. Shiloh looks like a boy.

Way more importantly, LiLa is (are?) frickin' HILARIOUS.

:)

Kelly H-Y said...

I can always count on the two of you to make me laugh out loud! :-)

Kelly H-Y said...

I can always count on the two of you to make me laugh out loud! :-)

sanjeet said...

That is so funny.
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ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

I love how Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie let out their children's inner rock stars....

You want to cut your hair short? Sure!

You want to go to the store with a sword on your hip? Sure!

You want to die your hair purple? Sure!

You want a mohawk? Sure!

I can go on.... Do you want more? lol

Don't call this a comeback

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