1. Open up the document in which you are supposed to be weaving a magical story.
2. Stare at it for a while.
3. Decide you have the burning need to Tweet about your love for a certain Glee star with a mohawk who Kody Keplinger and Lynne Kelly mistakenly think they can steal from you.
4. Begin a tweet war about who will fight harder for Puck's affection.
5. Get discouraged when Kody plays the age card. Damn teenagers.
6. End up striking a deal with Scott Tracey that involves you and Puck doubling with Scott and Patrick Verona.
7. Congratulate yourself for going over Kody's head. Wisdom comes with age bitches.
8. Stare at the document.
9. Make a few unnecessary word changes to the chapter Laura has written.
10. Refresh your e-mail praying someone will write with some urgent/amazing news.
11. Eat some gelato to get over the crushing disappointment of an empty inbox.
12. Stare at the document.
13. Fix the chapter numbers.
14. Decide you can't possibly write without a brand new Pandora channel based on a Tweet from Hannah, Sarah Wylie's mysterious non-blogging sister.
15. Re-read Sarah's blog for the day because you remember it being funny and you have a strange fondness for the word "obvi."
16. Stare at the document.
17. Open up your awesome outline.
18. Mentally congratulate yourself for having such an awesome outline.
19. Cut and paste words from your outline into the document.
20. Admire the words. So pretty.
21. Refresh your e-mail at least 20 more times for good luck.
22. Check Facebook only to discover no one has updated anything that wasn't already on Twitter.
23. Curse the efficiency of social networking.
24. Stare at the document.
25. Write a time consuming blog post about procrastination that involves lots of links and spending an inordinate amount of time searching for pictures of Puck and Patrick Verona on the interwebs.
26. Stare at the document.
27. Start typing.
28. Repeat until it's 1 AM and you can barely see straight.
29. Send the cursed document to Laura and laugh maniacally when you think about her having to edit your chapter tomorrow.
30. Continue to edit your blog post until you have an even number of procrastination techniques. OCD is a bitch.
Think you've got me beat? Let's hear your best procrastination techniques in the comments.
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