Friday, December 23, 2011

The Anatomy of a Christmas Card

Full disclosure: I HATE CHRISTMAS CARDS.

Yes, I know my amazingly talented sister creates gorgeous custom creations for me every single year. Yes, I know most people love sending and receiving cards every year.

But I am not most people.

And I suck at Christmas cards.

And yet, my husband LOVES them. He hangs every single card lovingly on our fridge and yells at me when I try to sneak cards from people I don't like in the trash.

I've been thinking a lot about my hatred of Christmas cards and I think it has to do with my innate laziness and complete lack of organization skills. I am HORRIBLE about keeping track of addresses and it drives my amazingly talented sister who prints all of my envelopes CRAZY. She seriously hates me and I don't blame her one single bit. Last year I sent her a list of 23 people and she had to add 40 additional names for me. I think I even forgot my parents.

But the single worst thing about Christmas cards is trying to get a semi-usable picture of my children. It's a NIGHTMARE.

So naturally I made Stacey take a bunch of pictures of my kids only to get this text the next day:

"I have no idea how it's possible for one little girl to have so many different awkward expressions."

Yes, that's right. Mia has inherited the anti-photogenic gene directly from The Regulator and The Regulator-in-Training (aka me). Ah, Mia. Your future is full of double chins, horrible profile shots and moments captured while you're stuffing cake in your mouth.

You're welcome.

So, the concept for photo shoot #2 was simple. Put the kids in embarrassing Christmas pajamas and cobble together a decent picture.

This isn't going to be easy. Mia is already doing shifty things with her eyes.

Mia looks cute so that means Jack has to give the camera a good old fashioned sideways glance. Or maybe he's just coming to the staggering realization that he's WAY too old for footie pajamas. Anyone care to take bets on how much therapy this little photo shoot is going to result in?

And we're back with Mia looking like she's angry and constipated.

Ken gets involved in the fun and immediately gives up because I scream at him for distracting the kids.

Ben refuses to sit still. Ah, Mia, I feel your pain.

And we're channelling Maculay Culkin.

Cutest picture ever, sadly Ben is kind of an afterthought.

Wonky eyed Ben and exhausted Mia. Now we're cooking with gas!

Yet another exasperated Mia shot. In her defense, I'm pretty sure Ken was saying something like, "Mia you're ruining the Christmas card. SMILE!" Poor kid.

And now we've moved to downright angry. Totally understandable given all of Ken's heckling.

Ben is eating a candy cane and putting his sticky fingers in Mia's hair. Nice.

Finally get a decent shot of Jack and Mia and cut off Ben's head. I'm guessing the fact that it took me 96 pictures to get one usable shot for a Christmas card has way more to do with my photography skills (or lack thereof) as opposed to my children's inherent inability to take a decent picture.

And somehow, the master managed to take all of that and create this:
I think it does a good job of capturing the day-to-day chaos of our existence. And it definitely helps that my sister is a genius. Thank God for Stacey and Happy Holidays!!!


Dianne K. Salerni said...

Awesome photo shoot, although Mia looked like she was going to lose it and have a typical fashion model breakdown in the middle! Glad she pulled it together! 96 pictures to get one good one about sums it up for our house, too.

Which is why I let my computer-savvy husband create a collage every year out of the best pictures of everybody. And then, being extra lazy, I slap it up as a blog post.

(Some of the pix are too tiny to really see, but with great difficulty I strangle my critical comments unspoken. If I say a single word about it ... he'll make me do it next year.)

Laura S. said...

Those pictures are so adorable (and your commentary hilarious). Hope Santa brings your kiddos lots of presents just for putting up with that photo shoot, LoL! Merry Christmas!!

Nicole Zoltack said...

LOL Your commentary was the best part!

storyqueen said...

I suck at Christmas cards, too. I've only sent our five so far...and I always lose the addresses each year. So lame.

Love the pic!


maura said...

Are you kidding? I think all of those pictures are fantastic! Your kids are just so cute. Hope to see you all at MJ and DJs next week.

Anonymous said...

They're adorable! (For the record, I have given up trying to get all three girls looking in the same direction at once. I put them in coordinating jimjams, take a bunch of pictures of each one, and choose the best of each child's shots.)

Also, I'm a huge fan of New Year's cards. Takes some of the pressure off. And if it's Chinese New Year, that works, too...

Krispy said...

Aww, thanks for sharing these photos. The kids are too cute! I like the idea of sending xmas cards, but I sympathize with the whole no-organizational skills thing. I sent my last one like 2 days ago. I only had 3 to do. :P -__-

Happy Holidays!

Katie Anderson said...

These are absolutely adorable!!!!!! But the final one is just too cute for words. Love.

Kimberley Griffiths Little said...

Oh, my, your children are absolutely adorable!!! I loved seeing these pictures.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas!!! Happy New Year, Lisa and Laura!

(And if you'd like an ARC of CIRCLE OF SECRETS, I happen to still have a few . . . and would be very willing to do a hardcover giveaway or interview, or, or??? ;-))


Christa Desir said...

I sort of love that Jack looks ready to eat that light bulb in your final picture. It's gorgeous. And you are making my crappy picture of my kids in the pumpkin patch card look bad. Sigh.

The Third Sister said...

This is crazy delayed, but I love this post. And I don't hate you...only your lack of address organization. Also love the numerous PoochiePrints plugs.

lexcade said...

omg that's so cute, Lisa. hope you, jack, the kids, and your sisters had a wonderful Christmas! Happy new year!

erica m. chapman said...

LOL!! OMG your kids are adorable!!! I like the last shot but my favorite is the one with Jack and Mia in the front #7 down, the only issue is missing Ben!

I hope you both had a very merry Christmas and New Year!! <3<3

Don't call this a comeback

So it’s been a minute. Or 10. Or truthfully more like 2,102,400. At least we think that’s how many minutes there are in 3 years, but let...