TGIF

It's Friday again...is it me or did it come quickly this week? It has definitely been an action packed week and against all odds I'm feeling pretty fantastic. Sure, I'm no longer gainfully employed, but I do have the whole summer to write, spend time with the kids, and refresh my e-mail.

Not a bad deal.

Onwards. As always we learned some pretty fascinating things this week:

1. Apparently sibling rivalries can go too far. Just ask the person who found our blog by searching for "bitch sister naked payback." Gives a whole new meaning to the term payback's a bitch.

2. I want to love Top Chef Masters, but really it just makes me miss Padma and Tom. Thankfully The Next Food Network Star is pretty entertaining because it's just not summer unless you're religiously watching a foodie competition.

3. Speaking of terrible television, Royal Pains is one of those so bad it's good kind of shows that I love watching in the summer, mainly because there's nothing else on. If you can get past the fact that the hot doctor (and yes, he really is very hot) looks like he's approximately 5'1 and is constantly saving lives using Bic pens and Ziplock baggies, then you're in for a treat. If not, well, it's still mildly amusing and it's not like you're watching it instead of a new episode of Gossip Girl.

4. If you have a fun neighbor who comes over to drink wine and discuss everything from reality television to good books, you can almost trick yourself into thinking you're in college again. After all, you're buzzed on a Thursday night and you don't even need a designated driver. Of course, reality hits home when your conversation is interrupted by a hungry 6-week-old and two antsy preschoolers who are supposed to be sound asleep. It's not quite the same as getting busted by your RA (resident advisor for those of you not fluent in Felicity), but close enough.

5. It feels good to be reading again. I'm not one of those writers who can't read a book and write at the same time, but I will admit that between writing and revisions we haven't had much time for books over the past 6 months. And now that I'm plowing through a book every couple of days again I remember how good it feels to get lost in the words of another writer.

6. As writers, sometimes you just need to talk to someone who fully understands the ups and downs of being on submission. This conversation between Laura and I is a great example:

Lisa: So.

Laura: Yeah.

Lisa: This sucks.

Laura: Yeah...

Lisa: So...

Laura: Yeah.

I'm not sure how, but sometimes just listening to each other breath on the phone totally helps.(And for all of you pervy people who found our blog via some disgusting google search, not in THAT way. We're sisters you jackasses.)

All in all it was a pretty solid week. I think we finally figured out our next big project and we're both really excited about it. Even better, we've got plenty of time to write. Life is good.

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Idea whores

Dear Abby,

We've been working (not-so-diligently) on this project. Let's call her WIP. But here's the thing, we're sort of in a rut. I mean, at first WIP seemed so fresh, so new, so exciting. But now she's just gotten so stubborn. And we have to admit that we've sort of started to avoid her. It's just that she's always sitting there, incomplete on our desktop, nagging us about writing more. We just can't take it anymore.

And we have a huge confession to make. Since we've been avoiding her, we've started flirting with this hot new idea. This new idea just seems so easy and more fun than our pouty little work-in-progress. We've been having long, whispered conversations about her in the night and we have to say, we're totally feeling the love. Don't get us wrong, it's not like we've started outlining or anything like that, but we're tempted. We're so tempted.

We desperately want to trade in boring old WIP for this hot new idea. Is this the writer's version of a mid-life crisis? Should we consider some intensive marriage counseling to work out our issues with poor old WIP? Or is it time to cut our losses and site irreconcilable differences?

Honestly, this whole thing makes us feel a little bit like idea whores, bouncing from one project to the next like we're no longer capable of a fulfilling monogamous relationship. But this new idea...I mean, it's hot. Seriously.

Please help us Dear Abby.

Sincerely,
The Slutty Sister Scribes

Book Review: A Great and Terrible Beauty

Ok, so I realize I'm a little late to the game here. So many people have recommended Libba Bray's A Great and Terrible Beauty, but it was one of those things where the concept didn't sound THAT appealing. And I realize that this is going to be a controversial statement here, but I'm not all that big on books about magic. It might have something to do with my historical inability to play a decent game of Zelda. Or perhaps my intense hatred for all things Lord of the Rings. Either way, magic just isn't my bag, baby.

And yet I read this book (all 400 pages of it) in less than 24 hours. So apparently, I do like magic and just didn't realize it. Or maybe Ms. Bray is just an exceedingly talented writer and if she wrote a book about scrapbooking, I'd read it and love it. At this point, I'm leaning toward the latter explanation, if only to save myself the humiliation of ordering my very own Dungeons and Dragons game.

All kidding aside, I think what was so successful about Bray's book was that she used magic as an analogy for the power of young women. She made me believe in the goddess within all of us. And really, who doesn't want to be a goddess? This was my favorite passage in the entire book:

"She walks out toward them, an apparition in white and blue velvet, her head held high as they stare in awe at her, the goddess. I don't yet know what power feels like. But this is surely what it looks like, and I think I'm beginning to understand why those ancient women had to hide in caves. Why our parents and teachers and suitors want us to behave properly and predictably. It's not that they want to protect us; it's that they fear us."

Wow. Just wow. I honestly felt like standing up and cheering after I read that paragraph. It's gorgeously written and there's a truth in those words that transcends time. It was true in the late 1800's when the book was set, and it's even more true now in a culture that thrives on sexualizing and objectifying young women.

3 out of 4 stars. I highly recommend this book. Please note we've had to update our rating system now that Gossip Girl is on hiatus.

Our Ever-So-Sophisticated Rating System (version 2.0):

4 Stars = While reading, I did not pause once to refresh my e-mail.

3 Stars = Great book, but kept an eye on my Blackberry. Just in case.
2 Stars = I refreshed at least once between every sentence of the book.

1 Star = I'd rather stare at my empty mailbox than read this book.

To Facebook or not to Facebook...

So you all know that we're on the fence about Facebook. Eventually we're going to start a joint account and we'll link the the blog and add all of our fun writerly friends, but we're just not ready to let our worlds collide. Yet.

Anyways, I finally got sick of my friends telling me to join and broke down and opened an account for myself. To celebrate the occasion Lisa and I have spent the past 2 hours laughing at the random updates people feel the need to share on Facebook. Good times.

Austin stopped for McDonalds on the way home from work. Yumm...big mac. (Really? Who cares? And...eeew.)

Leah just saw two pink lines! Can't wait to tell my boyfriend! (Umm...congratulations? Should you really be sharing this on Facebook before you tell your boyfriend?)

Marty is taking the road less travelled. (Seriously? Out of all the Facebook crimes, vague, introspective updates have got to be the worst.)

So, we decided to make up a few of our own status updates for Facebook.

*Lisa Roecker is unable to stop watching Gerard Butler sing Gallway Girl in PS I LOVE YOU and believes this might be a sign of deeper issues at work.

*Laura Roecker has high triglycerides and just polished off a sleeve of oreos.

*Lisa Roecker's biggest fear is that she'll be found passed out on the couch with a melted container of Edy's ice cream, an empty bottle of wine and her finger on the F5 key of her computer, refreshing her e-mail.

*Laura Roecker has sheet marks on her face after napping all afternoon.

*Lisa Roecker sleeps with her Blackberry at night.

*Laura Roecker is still wearing her pajamas and is about to wear them to bed again.

*Lisa Roecker lurks on writing forums and would recognize almost every single member from a certain Absolute Write thread if she saw them on the street.

*Laura Roecker is in the car, and (as always) checks to see if she has enough money to buy a frosty. She never does.

As you can see this turned into something of a sisterly competition (girl fight!!!). You guys are far more entertaining than we are, so post your best Facebook updates in the comments and we'll choose the funniest to use as our very first update whenever we get our page up and running.

17,585

It's my last week at my job, and I'm busy doing all the stuff you do when you leave your place of employment. Sending out farewell letters (awkward), eliciting pity from co-workers (unwarranted) and completing last minute assignments (annoying).

The one task that I've been absolutely dreading since my departure was made official is cleaning out my e-mail. I've been working at this company for 8 years. Over the course of those 8 years, I wrote a lot of e-mails. Some of them were work related, but many of them were personal. Anytime I got a message that made me smile or made me angry or basically elicited any reaction aside from extreme boredom, I put it into my little "Lisa's Mail" folder for safekeeping. After all, you never know when you're going to need...evidence.

But now I'm left with 17,585 e-mails. 17,585 documents describing my life's work over the past 8 years. Ranting e-mails to my boyfriend, which over the years turned into ranting e-mails to my husband. Crazy postpartum e-mails after the birth of my two kids when I was low on sleep and high on hormones. Sad e-mails, happy e-mails. Congratulatory e-mails, conciliatory e-mails. E-mails about our book. E-mails about my life.

The thing is, I love these messages. Back when I hadn't dared to start writing blogs or books or anything creative, I wrote e-mails. Really entertaining e-mails. The kind of e-mails that made people say, "You know, you should really be a writer. What are you doing working at a consulting firm anyways?" Those kinds of e-mails.

And tonight I deleted all 17,585 of them.

Time for a clean slate and a new e-mail address.

You learn something new every week (vol. 4)

Another week, another set of life lessons...

1. What do Justin Bobby, strippers and punishment all have in common? Well, they were all key word searches that lead to finding our blog this week. More specifically, "insufferable punishment" (should we be offended by this one?), "Buy Justin Bobby t-shirt" (we wish!) and finally "Laura stripper" (nice...).

2. I'm very easily bamboozled. Well, played Eminem. Well played.

3. I can't stop wondering if Stephenie Meyers was offered tickets to The MTV Movie Awards. I mean, let's face it, my life would be complete if I were somehow able to weasel my way into the hot mess that is the MTV Movie Awards. I figure that if Stephenie got the invite and turned it down, there's like a 1% chance of that happening to me. But if Stephenie didn't get an invite, I'm really screwed considering our book isn't a movie and *ahem* isn't yet published.

4. Someone seriously needs to come up with a 12-step program for refreshing. I honestly feel like my obsession with refreshing my e-mail and StatCounter has impacted my ability to be a productive member of society. So much refreshing, so little time. "Hi, my name is Lisa and I have an addiction to the F5 key."

5. I'm standing by my assertion that Kristin Stewart was wasted out of her mind at the movie awards. Check this out and feel free to rip me a new one in the comments.

6. Do you hear that ear splitting noise? That's me squeeing. I just found out that my future-second-husband is starring in a movie that will be released on July 24th. Let the countdown begin.

7. We should have taken up knitting. Here's a snippet of our conversation this week:

Lisa: Trying to publish a book is like really hard. We should have chosen a less stressful pass time.

Laura: Yeah, like knitting.

Lisa: Totally. I mean if you knit, you just knit. If you manage to make a sweater, you're pretty much at the top of your game.

Laura: Right. And it's not like you make a sweater and have to send it to a panel of judges who rip it apart and decide whether it's a good sweater or not.

Lisa: And people find out that you made a sweater and they're just really impressed. They never think to ask you if your sweaters are ever going to be sold in Target.

Laura: I'm totally taking up knitting.

Lisa: Yeah, me too.

8. Coming out of the closet is scary. For the past 10 months Laura and I have been closet bloggers. We've been very selective about telling friends and family about the blog, the book, etc. It's just a little awkward to have to tell the whole story and we didn't want to feel inhibited about what we post on the blog. But now that I'm leaving my job and having to send everyone my new e-mail address I've also been sending the link to our website. It's terrifying, but surprisingly, it hasn't changed our blogging style. At all. Scroll down for Exhibit A: The Britney Post.

So, that about sums up our first week in June. Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

Wowsers

My first thought was to post this and write one word, "wowsers." But upon taking a closer look, I felt inspired to write a short poem--I thought about a Haiku, but couldn't stop the rhymes. Thanks for the inspiration Brit!

Furry shoulders, cowboy hat, what is not to love?
Sparkly glasses, cumber bund, fingerless, fishnet gloves.

Ruffled boy shorts, golden accents, sign me up right now.
Put it all together and all you get is WOW.

I’m sure you sense the sarcasm, it’s laid on pretty thick,
But I guess if anyone can pull this off, it’d have to be our Brit.

A girl can dream...

I just stumbled upon this blog with these success stories about authors and their journey to publication.

Two words for you (that will forever haunt me in an untold number of future google search stats): Writer Porn.

Enjoy!

WIP Wednesday: Pride and Purity Teaser

Yeah, we're still choosing to ignore the subtle differences between WIP Wednesday and Teaser Tuesday to suit our blogging schedule. Anyways, without further ado, here's a little snippet or as P-Clo would say, a WIPpet, of our WIP (work-in-progress), Pride and Purity.

***************************************************************************

“That bitch!” I couldn’t help but swear under my breath as I watched Bingley on stage with Captain Hotness. I felt my eyes narrow with annoyance and quickly wiped my face clean of any expression.

Rule #1 of being the older, less talented sister of America’s reigning teen queen: Never, ever let yourself look annoyed with said sister in public. Everyone will just assume you’re jealous. Correction, everyone already assumes you’re jealous, and surly expressions only confirm their suspicions. Unless you want to see your life laid out in a 3-page spread in US Weekly dramatically rehashing your dashed dreams of superstardom and your rumored estrangement from your fabulous sister, it’s best to smile. Trust me.

The truth is, I wasn’t jealous of Bingley as she sang in front of a packed stadium with Captain Hotness drooling all over her. I mean, let’s face it, I didn’t have the goods to fill out that pink, sequined halter top and I couldn't hold a note to save my life. No, I was annoyed because on the other side of the stage I saw publicist extraordinaire, Bobbi Reese, lapping up this little scene like a dehydrated dog. And there’s nothing I hated more than seeing Bobbi hydrated…er...happy.

In due time...

It's only a matter of time Taylor Momsen...

Business Cards Are the New Black

Loyal blog readers meet K.M. Walton. She's an aspiring writer too (see, you already have something in common!) and she's hosting a fabulous contest on her blog. The winner will receive 25 custom designed business cards designed by her uber talented sister/entrepreneur/designer/proprietor of the amazing Uniquely Noted.

We liked her already, but you all know how we feel about sisters.

Awesome, right? Well hurry up, because you have to enter by midnight tonight. Sorry for the late post, but we really don't like competition.

Anyways, this whole contest got us thinking...if we were to have business cards made up for ourselves, what would they say?

Here's our Top 5:

Lisa and Laura Roecker
Sister Writers NOT Sister-Wives
(Unless you think that would make our book more marketable, because if so we're totally willing to lie and we really don't look alike at all)

Lisa and Laura Roecker
More fun than Jane and Elizabeth Bennet

Lisa and Laura Roecker
Old Enough for a Quarterlife Crisis
Proud Viewers of MTV

The Hilton Sisters
minus spray tans
plus brains
minus 4 inches
plus 20 (fine 30) pounds
divided by Cleveland, OH
equals
Lisa and Laura Roecker

Lisa and Laura Roecker
Better Moms than Brit
(well, most of the time anyways)

Tell us which one you like best in the comments and hurry up and post your entry! The clock is ticking...