Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tell the Truth Tuesday: From the Mixed Up Files of a Toy Box in the Regulator's Basement

It was family Sunday at the Regulator's house this past week. As usual, we were all enjoying some grown up time while the youngin's played in the basement. We're never sure exactly what it is they do down there, but if they're quiet, we're happy. End of story.

Imagine my surprise when Mia came traipsing upstairs with a very familiar-looking diary in hand. I intercepted it.

"Mia, where did you find this?" I ran my fingers over the variety of doctor's office stickers circa 1990 I had slapped on the front.

"In the toy box," she replied, confirming our suspicions that our parents' toy box in the basement is really a time capsule. Why my diary landed in it, we'll never know.

Lisa, of course, plucked it out of my hands and proceeded to read all the entries aloud. I was reminded of a very similar scene over twenty years earlier at our neighbor Shirley's house where Lisa did the same. In front of my crush, no less.

I can't possibly do the diary justice in writing. Photographs are more appropriate.



A real treasure.


The crossed out text says, "This diary belongs to Stacey Roecker..." and goes on to list our address and phone number. I either stole it from her or thought I'd fool everyone into thinking it was hers in the event that it was stolen. Always thinking.


Crossed out text says, "The Kering!" my pseudonym. See above.


This post highlights how much Lisa's friends sucked. How dare they not throw her a surprise party? I mean, her little sister was looking forward to it!


Quincy was our dog. I am a loser.


There are about 20 more entries all saying some version of the above. It's hard being a mistake.

Any truth-riddled treasures in your basements this Tuesday?

25 comments:

Jen Daiker said...

This is absolutely amazing!! I love it!! So cute and silly!

Lydia Sharp said...

omg... CAT tests! I totally forgot how much I hated those. blarg.

Matthew Rush said...

Wait. The Regulator is mom. The Third Roecker is Stacey, and The Lone Roecker is Laura, right?

It's all so confusing. Plus I thought Stacey was your LITTLE sister. Please tell me you didn't steal your LITTLE sister's diary. Please tell me I'm remembering it wrong and Stacey is your BIG sister.

Otherwise this is hilarious. I don't have anything this awesome but we did find lots of drawings in pop's basement a few years ago. And some G.I.Joe guys half buried in the back yard.

Susanne Winnacker said...

Haha. Loved this post! I wonder where my diaries are...it's probably better that I don't know though. ;)

beth said...

Oh, this makes me SO tempted to whip out my own diaries. I've got about a dozen (most only half-full) that line the bottom of my bookcase.

Tracey Neithercott said...

Oh, this makes me wish I had kept a diary. Instead, I thought locking up my secrets in a book with a kiddie lock was just asking for someone to pry. In retrospect, I was probably right. But it would be so fun to look back now...

Laura Marcella said...

This is too cute! When I was in 9th grade, I threw away my diaries and notebooks I'd kept from age 7-13 so that no one could ever publish them and embarrass me. Now that I'm older and wiser, I know that no one would ever have published them anyway because it would've reflected badly on them! I wish I had kept them but I still have all my journals from high school and college, so that's good. :)

Shana Silver said...

These entries are awesome! Your old diary is way more entertaining than mine. Mine had entries like "I played basketball in gym today. I don't like basketball."

Really gut-wrenching stuff.

LOL about being the mistake! Awww.

Jessi said...

You two are the reason I now look forward to Tuesdays. This is a crack up! I especially love the last one about being a mistake. Oh, the drama!

Melody said...

You are not a mistake! You write epic books about girl detectives who wear pearls and get emails from dead best friends. I mean, seriously!

Plus, your younger self had much better handwriting than I did (*cough* or do now) at that age.

Gail said...

I didn't keep diaries (so no one could find them and read them!) But when my mom was moving to an apt. after my dad died, we found a note I wrote to the tooth fairy stating that she owed me 50 cents for a tooth that came out and I wasn't giving her the tooth until I got the money! The bottom of the note had a section to cut off, sign and return to me that said "I.O.U. 50 cents. Signed" and a line for the tooth fairy to sign it LOL. Oh yeah, we also found a baby food jar that had deteriorating old teeth in it. Guess we now know who the tooth fairy really was!!! (Actually I did figure that one out years ago!)

Nicole Zoltack said...

I was one of those fake diaries people. I have a ton of old diaries and wrote one or two entries in each. #diaryfail

Lisa Potts said...

I still have all of my old grade school diaries. My kids and I sometimes get them out and point and laugh. I'm so glad I kept them.

Marsha Sigman said...

LOL, this is awesome. I was convinced for years that I was adopted.

My parents were pretty honest about my being a mistake. I mean I was number six...who means to do that?lol But I always knew they loved me best so I didn't care.

ND said...

This is amazing. I had that exact diary back in the 90s! I didn't write in mine that much -- I was too suspicious that my parents had only bought me the diary so that they could read my secret thoughts and desires... I was a weird kid.

Jill Hathaway said...

Mwahaha. I thought it said "cat tasting".

Icy Roses said...

Lol, my little-kid diaries look like that too! Except your handwriting is 40000000x better. What kind of little kid has handwriting that is THAT good? Jealous. I don't even think my handwriting is that good now ...

Dara said...

I also had a diary with doctor/dentist's stickers plastered all over it. Mine had a panda on the front. I started writing it in kindergarten...before I really knew how to compose sentences. So the first page or two is hysterical trying to figure out what I'm trying to say. And much of the first quarter of the diary is "these are my spelling words for the week." Yeah I was a word geek. :P

Krispy said...

This is amazing! I had a diary and after about a month, I wasn't very good at keeping up with it.

I always wanted the ones that came with a lock.

Elana Johnson said...

Oh my heck, I can't stop laughing. You totally killed me at "I am a loser." ROTFL!

Jemi Fraser said...

I'm so glad I burned all my diaries in a bonfire many, many years ago :)

Karen Akins said...

Oh, my gosh. I'm about to cry I'm laughing so hard. Off to burn my H.S. journals now.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

I love this so very much. It is all kinds of angsty awesome.

I think every girl between nine and thirteen has exactly the same writing. All loopy and round. Either that or this is actually MY diary.

Little Ms J said...

Adorable. I'd be simply scared to find my old diary. I was an angry little freckled kid. I bring up the freckles since I think they had a lot to do with said anger...

K.D. Anderson said...

This cracked me up! I read these to my kids and we all giggled. I said, "Do y'all feel like mistakes?" and Meg said, "I do!"

Lawsy.

Too fun!