Wednesday, April 28, 2010

WTF Wednesday*

Just a few things that have made us say WTF this week:
  • No new Lost this week? WTF!?!? It's the last freaking season. Isn't there a law against airing repeats when there's only like 5 episodes left of the show?
  • Ommmm....WTF? Today at the gym, I practically tripped over some girl who was practicing yoga outside of the classroom. She was following along with the instructor (who was teaching a half-empty class) and taking up valuable ab workout space. Plus, whenever anyone new practically tripped over her as well, she'd say, "I'm just doing yoga, out here." WTF crazy-lady? Sh*t or get off the pot and get out of my way, I'm trying to do crunches.

    • A conversation between Lisa and her almost 5-year-old son:
             Lisa: How was school today?
             Jack: Great. Aiden played a nazi in drama.
             Lisa: *WTF? Is nursery school secretly a cover for Hitler Youth?*       
             Lisa: A what?
             Jack: A nazi.
             Lisa: So what did the nazi do exactly?
             Jack: He took the other animal's food. I was a zebra.
             Lisa: So the nazi is an animal?
             Jack: Yup.
             Lisa: I think you might have the name wrong. Was it maybe a hyena?
             Jack: MOM! No, it was a nazi. The spider.
             Lisa: Wait, you mean Anansi the Spider?
             Jack: Yeah, a nazi.
             Lisa: Right. Maybe call him Anansi the Spider in the future, ok?
    • Why don't we have a mailing list? WTF? Every awesome debut author has a mailing list so they can send their friends information about book covers, appearances, giveaways and other awesomeness. How have we overlooked this crucial marketing task? Er, um, would you guys like want to be on our mailing list? We promise NEVER to give your e-mail address to anyone else and we'll only send you really important updates. So, pretty pretty please click here and sign up ok? Cause if you don't we'll totally be the only uncool authors on the planet without a stellar e-mail campaign. [You see what we did there? We used the exact same tone in that last line that we used when trying to convince our mom to buy us matching Guess Jean skirts. She was unable to resist. We trust it will work just as well on you.]
      So, what's your WTF moment this week? You know you've got one (or five). Do share in the comments.

      *Just to clarify for our Grandma who reads the blog on a daily basis, WTF stands for "Why the face?" Seriously. It's nothing more sinister than that. We got it from Modern Family.**
      **I think every post we write should now have a footnote. Because footnotes = fun. It's like writing my term papers for English Lit all over again and anything we can do to make our blog more like an English term paper has got to be good marketing, right? Right.


      S.A. Larsenッ said...

      Honestly, if I told you, everyone who read it would want to kick the sh@t out of some little punk at school for how he intimidated my 11yr-old daughter. So I won't go with that one, although it is paramount.

      I guess it could be when I found our 6 year old playing a shooting game on his older brothers' XBox....LIVE with some guy from Australia. WTF???????

      Lola Sharp said...

      Dude, I could WTF ALL. DAY. LONG.

      But, this is your blog, so I'll not go off on a rant.

      I enjoyed your list. :o)


      Unknown said...

      I said WTF about LOST, too. Seriously?! And hilarious conversation about Anansi. LOL!

      My WTF moment? Our cat, who previously racked up $1200 in vet bills when he escaped outside and was attacked by a wild animal, has racked up another $1000 since Sunday evening. He had to be rushed to the ER vet because he was bleeding out his privates. I'll find out this morning what the verdict is, but I expect to have to pay more. WTF??!! He's cost us more than any of our three children.

      Bethany Elizabeth said...

      For my WTF, I just found out how nearly impossible it is to enroll at college whilst living in another country. *sigh* I can't pay enrollment fees online, the check got lost in the mail, the deadline is in three days, and if they didn't get the check, I'm not sure they got my acceptance for the financial aid they offered me, which is way past the deadline.
      I'm almost ready to sign up for community college instead - it'd be easier! :)
      Wow, I'm negative today. Time to go get some positive energy. maybe starbucks is in demand here? :)

      Matthew MacNish said...

      You gals are posting early this morning. That's a great euphemism for WTF I love it. My daughter has one for FTW: For the Win!

      If by Anansi the Spider you are referring to the character from the Neil Gaiman novel Anansi Boys I can't decide if that's awesome or disturbing that they're portraying him in Kindergarden. I guess it's awesome that they did the dad and not the philandering brother.

      On a totally unrelated side note: Are you guys not getting my emails or are you just so busy you haven't had a chance to reply?

      In the comments over at my blog you guys offered to do a Friday guest post. This would be really awesome and though I'll admit it would probably do more for my blog than it would for yours I would be happy to assist you all in reaching 1000 followers in any way I can.

      So anyway I've emailed you ladies about it twice but I haven't heard back. Am I using the wrong email? I'm not going to post it here but it has a hyphen in it and it ends with

      Anyway if you're too busy it is definitely not a problem I do have some other people lined up I just thought it was a really kind offer you made and I wanted to be sure to follow up.

      So that's all that's making me say WTF today. That and the fact that I can barely do my job at work while I wait for IT to do theirs.

      Tabitha Bird said...

      WTF has blogger done with the 'add image' feature? Is anyone else having trouble with that? Can't the blogger people just leave well enough alone. GOD!

      Unknown said...

      I'll be part of your mailing list :)

      You're 5 year old son was hilarious! Thank God they share with parents first before announcing it to the world!!

      The Hills, oh lord the hills, I've been addicted to the show for awhile and finally got out, when I saw the latest preview with Heidi I almost died. Good Lord isn't there a stopping point? Then her mother even stating the obvious didn't help. What a disaster!

      Katie Anderson said...

      Oh that funny gym story made my morning. HA!

      Keri Mikulski said...

      Love it! :)

      Hmm.. Let me think..

      Candyland said...

      *Mourning Heidi's old face, too*
      My WTF moment, and yours is similar:
      3yo: *Sticks out thumbs and says "Commi"*

      Kim Harrington said...

      I'm dying laughing here. You ladies crack me up! :)

      Emily J. Griffin said...

      How about WTF to Blogger-- I wrote a long comment and the stupid thing wouldn't load! (That's what she said.)

      Ugh. Here's the quick recap.

      1. Bella's ring = U.G.L.Y. More cocktail than death-do-us-part.

      2. You know those drama masks - happy and sad - well, that's what Heidi's face looks like. Permanently stuck in the middle.

      3. Gwyneth Paltrow can suck it. I'm pretty sure this sentiment was establish during the years of dating BRAD PITT and then Ben Affleck. Plus, she married adorable Chris Martin. Now this? Girl Card revoked.

      4. John Green's all about some footnotes, and I am all about some John Green. Approved.

      My WTF moment (I like to call them the WTF Awards on my blog): A big WTF to my nieghbors who continuously leave dirty diapers and smelly trash bags outside there apartment door. Hey! Newsflash: If you don't want to smell it, neither do we. TAKE YOUR EFFING TRASH OUT! One time I came home to a chicken wing and corn on the cobb scattered down the hall by squirrels. Gross. (I have totally called to complain. It's not helping, by the way).

      PS: When did my short wrap up become forty million pages?

      Natalie said...

      Your posts are always the first blog I read in the morning. They make me laugh.:) My thoughts are as follows: what "surgeon" gives somebody like Heidi a go-ahead on the 100 different procedures she had? That must really suck when you look in the mirror and realize, oops, I looked better before I dropped thousands of bucks on a new face. I don't like Speidi. They ruined The Hills, which used to be my favorite smut fix. Still, the whole frankenheidi fiasco blows my mind a little bit. Also, I saw the Bella engagement ring on yahoo and I think my eye started twitching. Why can't they come up with cool merch for Twiight? Like, I remember in one of the books some vamp pulled out a lighter/flame thrower and used it to torch another vampire. I want that.

      Stina said...

      Love the WTF disclaimmer. :)

      Heck I'll be on your mailing list. PS I need another book recommendation from you. I'm placing a book order and I'm thinking of changing my mind about one of them. Oh, and I want some hot romance in it . . . Like The Body Finder. :D

      Kerri Cuev said...

      I missed Glee last night, WTF! How did that happen?

      Alissa Grosso said...

      Loved the Nazi/Anansi story, and I'm now on your mailing list though for the record you are definitely not the last debut author to not have a mailing list!

      The only WTF that I can recall recently was the lady I nearly hit because she came to a complete stop at a green light.

      Bish Denham said...

      A nazi! Too funny! No WTF moments for me lately.

      Elisa Dane said...

      Great post!

      I've had one WTF moment this past week, and it was when I allowed my oldest daughter (who has her learners permit) to drive home from school. I spent the entire car ride home screaming WTF! and gripping the edge of the passenger seat for dear life while praying to the good Lord above she didn't kill us all.

      Good times :)

      Sarah Ahiers said...

      hahaha! Footnotes FTW!
      As for lost, they had to skip an episode so they could lead up to the finale or something. They didn't want to put a repeat on right before the end.
      I dunno, all i do know is that i was able to watch Glee at it's normal time

      mountie9 said...

      First a thank you for your blog, you guys make me LMAO all the time! There are so many daily WTF's, but I will just go with my favorite today

      WTF - They have created a new position at work for a Senior Library Technician who will basically be an assistant to my boss. My boss screws up SO MUCH they had to hire someone to keep her from screwing up anymore. Hmmm I have an unusual thought -- Same yourselves tons of cash and just fire the incompetent boss.

      Unknown said...

      Gotta love Nazi spiders! I don't think I'll ever be able to read WTF as "Why the Face?" :) I just signed up for your mailing list - thanks ladies!

      Sara B. Larson said...

      I have an almost 5 year old son too, aren't they hysterical? Oh man, I love the things they say.

      Crazy yoga lady! and yes all the plastic surgery = not good on Heidi.

      Also, can someone please pay me to try and gain weight? I promise I could do it easier than Gwyneth. Just sayin'.

      Thanks for the laugh (again)!! :-)

      Rebecca T. said...

      I am finding so much funny floating around the blogoverse today! Thanks for adding to my hysterical case of giggles.

      My moments are usually related to customers. Hence Retail Wednesday. Which I should go write now.

      Dara said...

      I'm saying WTF on that engagement ring thing. Will the Twilight madness NEVER END?!

      And that ring is fugly.

      Oh and my "WTF" moment came like last Thursday when I was told I was technically only supposed to be working 20 hours...although no one ever told me this, so apparently I was supposed to know by some sort of psychic power. I'm still working 25 'cause I'm not getting yet another pay cut. Also, on the job hunt again because every other day I'm saying WTF at something in this job.

      Pam Harris said...

      WTF is Siobhan still doing on American Idol? I tried to believe the hype, but I have to agree with what Simon said last night--she sounded like she was getting birth! Please kick her off!

      Adriana said...

      Your posts always make me laugh. So thank you so much for my first laugh in the morning. The nazi conversation was hilarious and so adorable. Little kids say the cutest things.

      Carolyn V. said...

      I'm just going to do my yoga out here. 'K? LOL!

      I think I'm just tired of the rain/snow. Isn't it almost summer?

      Shannon O'Donnell said...

      Can't type...too busy laughing! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

      Gail said...

      As long as Anansi's legs aren't drawn with 90 degree angles, he can get away with it :-)
      I signed up for the mailing list- yeah!!!

      Lori W. said...

      "Why the face?" Love, love, that! Fun post.

      Annette Lyon said...

      I'd like a chance to slap sweet Gwenyth. Most people can exercise for hours and STILL be unable to eat whatever the heck they want.

      sanjeet said...

      I am finding so much funny floating around the blogoverse today! Thanks for adding to my hysterical case of giggles.
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      Rebecca T. said...

      Dude. My comment just got spammified. That is my Why The Face moment for today.

      Marsha Sigman said...

      My WTF (so does NOT mean 'why the face', Grandma) moment was when my husband and I were driving to the store, made a turn, and the car next to us turned as well and crossed into our lane. They swerved at the last micro-second and missed up by a fraction of an inch.

      When we looked back the driver(man)and the passenger(woman) were both still looking down texting on their phones.WTF!!!!

      Hopefully they weren't texting each other.

      Anonymous said...

      Choosing just one WTF moment would make me sad. My main WTF, actually, would be TMI, and definitely not FTW. I think I'm just liking the abbreviations. I <3 abbreviations. I should probably CTFO with them, though. Yeah. Time for me to STFU and bounce. L8R, ladiez.

      Elana Johnson said...

      You guys never fail to make me smile. Thanks for that! Signing up for the newsletter now. :)

      Krispy said...

      My reaction to the Twilight ring was also WTF with a side of "um, kind of ugly." Just sayin'

      Tana said...

      My WTF moment this week goes to my non advancement in the ABNA contest. No really, WTF?

      Donna Gambale said...

      1. Really? Bella's ring? Sigh.

      2. There should be a LAW against a Lost rerun this season.

      3. Son conversation --- OMG. Kids are ridiculous.

      4. I joined your mailing list. The tone worked.

      * I love including footnotes in my FNC posts too. But blog footnotes are like term paper footnotes + snark + awesomeness. They still give you the same sense of self-importance, though.

      Laura S. said...

      Nazi the Spider...oh, I can't stop laughing! Kids sure know how to bring joy to the day! That's why I like being an aunt so much. I participate in all the fun and games and get to give them back when the laughs are replaced with crankiness, haha!

      Maybe that yoga lady hadn't paid for the class? She was so stealing!

      Tere Kirkland said...

      WTF? I never learned about Anansi the spider in school. I think that's awesome that your son is learning about "non-Western" folktales. Way to give the kids some culcha!

      But seriously, wtf? That ring is so fugly, it's like pug fugly. Grrr. I so hate that insane fandom.

      Melissa Sarno said...

      Love it! Anasi the spider. I swear it's all Go Diego Go's fault for introducing ridiculous animals to young children. Pygmy marmoset? Can I get a wtf for that? My wtf moment this week is why the lady who works at the drycleaner is there when I drop off drycleaning at 7am and still there when I return at 9pm. I'm really pissed off for her. Isn't that illegal? Also, wtf? I hate things that are dry clean only.

      XiXi said...

      I'm glad someone else reads all of those pointless articles and looks at all of the pointless slideshows on Yahoo. You would not believe how thoroughly I scour the OMG section of Yahoo every day while I'm at work.

      THE TWILIGHT RING IS SO UGLY. The description made it sound halfway decent in the book, but wow. That is officially dealbreaker material if anyone ever proposes to me with that shit.

      California Keys said...

      Ha ha!!!! A nazi! lol My 4 year old son told me that he has a blog.... About dinosaurs.... And he has 100 'follers'.... And that's more than me.... lol

      JESSJORDAN said...

      A Twilight engagement ring. It's a sign of the apocalypse.

      And Heidi makes me so VERY sad. I once voted that she was prettier than Lauren, but then she did all of that to herself, and now I want to find that random page again so I can change my vote.

      Oh ... Sadness abounds.

      Kirsten Lesko said...

      My WTF moments was when all the judges said the football player did a great job on dancing with the stars.

      Very funny post, by the way.

      Kimberly Derting said...

      You laugh, but I'm holding out for the Bella Anniversary Ring, and I'm bettin' it's gonna be SPECTACULAR!!! (Glitter and all)

      I'm so glad I popped in today, you totally made me I've missed you since I've had to give up blog-stalking! I'm signing up for the newsletter now...I need a dose of LiLa now and then!!!

      Mariah Irvin said...

      Instead of WTF, I now say "Whuck?" as inspired by Liz Lemon. God I love that show.

      A Bella engagement ring? Seriously? How much more money can Twilight make?

      lexcade said...

      here we go. all from today.

      WTF to my brain: why don't you do what i need you to? i transferred money (for the first time ever) with western union. it was supposed to be to the name "tigar" but i was thinking about how weirdly close that was to "tiger" and wrote that instead. 10 frantic email/calls later and i had to call customer service to switch one stupid letter.

      WTF to the girl who i had to wire the money to. her "people" *she's a model, apparently* sent me a $1350 check for her $200 Avon order at a point when i could REEEEEEEEEALLY have used that much money. but i was good, and got the above WTF as a result.

      one more. WTF to the doors in this stupid hotel. none of them want to work. this is why battery-operated door locks = SUCK.

      but the anansi story made me smile. kudos for that.

      and i totally joined your mailing list. maybe when i get to join the cool kids' club, you'll join mine.

      or you can just join my avon mailing list... hint hint hint ;) (j/k)

      Jemi Fraser said...

      LOL - a nazi the spider!! That totally made my day :)

      Little Ms J said...

      I can't even see your freaking footnote and it is making my eye look all wonky and I'm becoming more and more concerned that I need botox. Move over, Hills, Ms. J is aging.

      By the way, what are these people famous for again?

      Kelly H-Y said...

      Hilarious! And, I LOVE the footnotes! :-)

      Anonymous said...

      Bwa-ha-ha. I need to visit y'all's blog more often. Especially on Wednesdays.

      Zoe C. Courtman said...

      Yanno, I just had to pop in because I, too, was all WTF! (explosively, I might add) when we settled in with beers and happy expectation to watch LOST, only to realize that it was a repeat. Oh, the crushing of my soul...

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