Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Top 10 things to do while you're on submission...

1. Look into getting our computers surgically attached to your body.
I bet it's cheaper than a tummy tuck.

2. Obsessively refresh our e-mail. We'll also be verifying that our phones are working properly. This needs no explanation.

3. Cyber-stalk any potential editors. And no, we're not going to send them stewed bunny rabbits or anything like that. Our current plan is to google their names over and over and over again. Just to keep busy.

4. Re-read any communications from Major Agent to assess any hidden meanings. Conversations will go something like this:

Laura: So what do you think she meant when she said she really liked our new website?
Lisa: Well, I've done some decoding and I'm pretty sure she meant that she thinks we're going to have an offer on the table really soon.
Laura: Seriously?
Lisa: Totally. She used an exclamation mark. She doesn't use exclamation marks lightly.

5. Obsessively monitor any blog/website traffic. Hey, even if we don't see any editors checking our blog, it's always entertaining knowing that someone stumbled upon our blog by googling "Bitch Please."

6. Ask friends and family whether or not they think our book will sell and if so how quickly. This is a really fun exercise that usually involves us forcing our husbands to pause Sports Center and speculate about a process of which they know nothing about. Typically it ends with us storming out of the room to go refresh our e-mail again. Good times.

7. Troll writer forums for statistics on how long most writers stayed on submission. Maybe we'll even put together some charts or something. I've got mad Power Point skills.

8. Watch Gossip Girl. Thank god for Chuck Bass. If anyone can provide some relief from the waiting, it's Chuck. And no, we don't want to discuss the possibility that we'll still be waiting after the finale airs. Just don't go there, ok?

9. Start writing the next book. Honestly, if we don't start writing we're going to go crazy. But this is the fun part. After all of our editing, we're ready to start something new.

10. Find synonyms for obsess. It looks like we're going to be using this word a LOT in the immediate future. Might as well have a few different ways to say it.

19 comments:

Grey Street Girl said...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only person obsessively refreshing email. I was waiting on and email from a friend tonight and was doing that very thing. Click click click. It finally came, but only once I walked away and got on the treadmill for a bit.

Tara Maya said...

Love #6. It's never too soon to start.

Solvang Sherrie said...

LOL :^)

Rebecca said...

I'm so with you on this and I'm only waiting to hear back from an agent on a partial! This must be agony for you both. Just think of how darn exciting it is that you've made it this far!!! You're now the envy of all us would-be-writers out here.

Oh and the thing that helps me the most during the painful waiting process of waiting for an email is staying out of the house. Honestly that's the only thing that keeps me away from the darn computer. Another reason I don't use online access on my phone!

Lisa and Laura said...

I'm going to be spending a lot of time at the gym. I think it's the only way I'll be able to tear myself away from the computer.

I sort of wish someone could temporarily wipe my brain free of any memory of submissions a la Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I think that might be much easier than all this waiting.

PurpleClover said...

You guys are so stinkin' hilarious.

I do especially love the exclamation mark = published. I totally concur!

Danyelle said...

*snicker*

This list is priceless!

Kimberly Derting said...

I'd love to tell you that any of that stuff gets easier after you "get the call", but then there are a gazillion other things to obsess about!

Oops, gotta go...email needs refreshing...

Kimberly Derting said...

Oh, and husbands especially love it when you wake them up to discuss book stuff. You should try it sometime. Seriously.

Nisa said...

Hilarious! I obsess over e-mail now. This could get really scary if I ever get to the stage you're at! Maybe I should start looking up those synonyms now...

Shelli said...

shoot i do all this and i dont even have an agent yet. :)

Corey Schwartz said...

Ha! Very funny... I can totally relate! Just wait till you have an amazon ranking to check. that can take up at a chunk of your day if you check it like once every twenty minutes.

Tess said...

Too funny :)

slhastings said...

I do all of this! And I'm not even on submission – especially the google part – and the stat counter tracking.

Do I need a hobby? There is this thing in my office, I think it's an elliptical. Maybe I should get on it and blow off some steam.

p.s. I hope explanation points have hidden meaning.

bec-fitzpatrick said...

Haha! Kimberly is right - there are always a zillion things to obsess over. By the end of this, you two will be obsessing pros! (Something to put on your resume.) Anyway, I'm so excited you guys are OUT THERE!

sraasch said...

Yay, SUBMISSION! Good things will happen soon. And, if anything, you have a nice little to-do list.

Litgirl01 said...

LOL!!!! Funny!!!

Little Ms J said...

I picture you guys calling each other on your cell phones, "Was there a delay? No, but did you say 'hello' and hear silence for a fraction of a second or could you hear me right away?"

My husband is confident that I will be published and I love him for it, but I do stare at him blank-faced when he gives me editing advice. The snotty little girl in my head is thinking, "Stick to your balance sheets and CNBC. Gahd!" But then I want him to tell me over and over again how successful I'm going to be. What a mess.

Taryn said...

I know--I'm waaaaaaaaaaay late to the party, but I'm going on sub tomorrow, and as I do #7, I came across this! Now I have to go compile the stats and create a foolproof formula for how long I'll be on sub--oh wait. It doesn't work like that?

Don't call this a comeback

So it’s been a minute. Or 10. Or truthfully more like 2,102,400. At least we think that’s how many minutes there are in 3 years, but let...