1. Look into getting our computers surgically attached to your body.
I bet it's cheaper than a tummy tuck.
2. Obsessively refresh our e-mail. We'll also be verifying that our phones are working properly. This needs no explanation.
3. Cyber-stalk any potential editors. And no, we're not going to send them stewed bunny rabbits or anything like that. Our current plan is to google their names over and over and over again. Just to keep busy.
4. Re-read any communications from Major Agent to assess any hidden meanings. Conversations will go something like this:
Laura: So what do you think she meant when she said she really liked our new website?
Lisa: Well, I've done some decoding and I'm pretty sure she meant that she thinks we're going to have an offer on the table really soon.
Lisa: Totally. She used an exclamation mark. She doesn't use exclamation marks lightly.
5. Obsessively monitor any blog/website traffic. Hey, even if we don't see any editors checking our blog, it's always entertaining knowing that someone stumbled upon our blog by googling "Bitch Please."
6. Ask friends and family whether or not they think our book will sell and if so how quickly. This is a really fun exercise that usually involves us forcing our husbands to pause Sports Center and speculate about a process of which they know nothing about. Typically it ends with us storming out of the room to go refresh our e-mail again. Good times.
7. Troll writer forums for statistics on how long most writers stayed on submission. Maybe we'll even put together some charts or something. I've got mad Power Point skills.
8. Watch Gossip Girl. Thank god for Chuck Bass. If anyone can provide some relief from the waiting, it's Chuck. And no, we don't want to discuss the possibility that we'll still be waiting after the finale airs. Just don't go there, ok?
9. Start writing the next book. Honestly, if we don't start writing we're going to go crazy. But this is the fun part. After all of our editing, we're ready to start something new.
10. Find synonyms for obsess. It looks like we're going to be using this word a LOT in the immediate future. Might as well have a few different ways to say it.