Thursday, December 10, 2009

It's Electric


Ok, Lisa is still wearing her angry Uggs and after her happy song ended up involving someone scattering ashes I decided it was time to ban her from the blog until the peppermint ice cream has had time to do its work. In the meantime, I went to see Wicked with my mom and managed to find the one person in the universe who is more pissed off than Lisa right now. Shocking, I know. Here's how it went down...

Shortly after the "Popular" song (one of my favorites), an annoying alarm-type sound began blaring backstage. At first, I wondered if it was apart of the show, but the sound continued. And the show went on, of course. Anyways, people were getting a little annoyed, looking around, etc., but nothing extreme.

Then Elphaba (played by an understudy named Meredith Kaye Clark, who was amazing) broke into her "I'm Not That Girl" number...you know emotionally-charged, on the stage alone, spotlight, etc.

And that's when the obscenities began ringing through the back of the theater.

It sounded something like this, "THIS IS NOT F****** FAIR! I DID NOTHING TO DESERVE THIS! LET ME GO! I WILL NOT F****** LEAVE!"

The woman's tirade continued throughout most of Elphaba's big moment and she continued without a hitch as practically everyone in the theatre turned around to see what was happening. Many audience members shouted out for the woman to stop, and the red coats (senior citizen volunteer ushers) struggled to wrangle the woman out of the theater.

I sat with my mouth open willing the crazy woman to shut the (insert obsenity here) up and get the (insert obsenity here) out of the theatre. We felt really bad for Elphaba, but were happy to give her a standing ovation after her song was over and the woman was escorted out.

During intermission, the red coats were all talking about the bat-shit crazy woman. In fact, everyone was. During intermission we gossiped with a girl in the bathroom (who we initially thought could see all the goings-on in the theatre because she was so freakishly tall, but in reality was just seated very close to the aforementioned pissier-than-Lisa-girl). She told us that the crazy girl was drunk, calling out (probably during the annoying alarm sound) and was asked to leave. But she had other plans and would not budge or shut the (insert obsenity here) up. Red coats called the police, who resorted to TASERING her and eventually arresting her crazy ass. Yeah.

See, even theatre is more exciting and way classier in Cleveland. Who's coming to visit!?

40 comments:

Katie said...

I'll come!!!!! haha.

I have ALWAYS wanted to see Wicked and intend go by myself next month while in the big NYC!!!!!!!!!

I can't wait!

Nisa said...

Oh my gosh! That is insane! I feel so bad for that actress playing Elphaba!

storyqueen said...

Tazer??? Holy cow! You actually got more that your money's worth... a show within a show.

Sooooo weird.

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

Wow thats entertainment! You got two shows for the price of one...if only they used a tazer lol!

Laura, you need to go over there and pull off those pink Uggs and throw them outside. It works when I'm in a funk anyways lol!

Yes my friend has been known to force me out of the house against my will. I groan and complain but thank her for it in the end ;) If you try this and get in trouble I am not responsible for telling you this lol!

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Whoa. Tazered at the Theater. Sounds like the title of something. My theater disturbances are so tame in comparison: 1--a man snoring 2--a woman eating unshelled pistachios during a ballet. I could've used the pink Uggs.

Shelli said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frankie Diane Mallis said...

OMG that is hilarious!!!!! This reminds me of the time I went to Barnes and Noble to write and then 3 cops came in and out of nowhere totally arrested the woman sitting next to me. As far as I knew her biggest crime was wearing hot pink underwear under a white dress-totally see through! They didn't even throw away her coffee, it just sat there on the table all abandoned. SHe didn't look dangerous to me but 3 cops took her away and then there were like 6 cop cars outside the store. So the verdict is still out-bat shit crazy insane? or really slow night at the police station.

Suzyhayze said...

I'm there. Can't you see me?

OH GOD! Did that really happen? NO WAY.

Fantastic scene for a novel.

confused homemaker said...

Flipping phenomenal.

I have never seen Wicked, but am SOOOO wanting to.

But I agree life offers lots of moments that are begging to be written.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Oh my word, that's nutty. But what a show!! In a way, I kind of like collecting stories like this. But cool stuff like that rarely happens to me.

Tere Kirkland said...

Ah, nothing says the holidays like a nice tazering. Fun for the whole family!

(Is everyone else muttering, "Truth is stranger than fiction" to themselves write now? ;D)

Lisa, hope the peppermint ice cream is helping. I had a bad day yesterday and plowed through a box of peppermint patties I found in the freezer. Sweet relief!

Carolyn V. said...

Yikes! She was tazered huh? Wow that would make for a great character in a book. hee hee.

Valerie Geary said...

Oh that is just awesome!!!

ElanaJ said...

Oooh, I love Wicked. I'd come just for that. But to see you guys? And that drunk lady? I've already booked my ticket.

http://amybai.wordpress.com said...

OMG on the pink Ugg cuteness. I love that they're the "angry" ones. :D


Wow. I need to go to the theater more often, I guess. I had no idea the usher types even *carried* tasers.

D said...

Oh my...that's quite a story! (But don't you love that duet regardless, As Long as You're Mine...)

Shelli said...

oops could i spell any worse on my commnt? I was on my blackberry.

are we sure that lady is not lisa!

there thats much better!

Dara said...

Somehow, I'm really not surprised, especially knowing it's Cleveland. That's my good ol' hometown for ya :P

At least they tasered her. Wanna bet batsh*t crazy lady is gonna try and sue? Yeah, wouldn't put it past folks like her.

Oh and that story even made the local news:

http://www.newsnet5.com/news/21918687/detail.html

Although your telling of it is much more entertaining.

Rebecca Knight said...

HAHAHAHA. That *is* way classier than the theater experiences I've had!

Your state should put that in their travel brochures :).

Patti said...

I love Wicked, we saw it in London. I feel bad for the crowd, who had their experienced ruined and for the singer, but what a professional to not miss a beat through the whole thing.

Sara ♥ said...

Man I have such a love/hate relationship with scenes like that! I love the stories they leave me with but HATE the people who cause them... SO rude. Drunk or not!

Also - Boogie woogie woogie ;-)

Jill Kemerer said...

Tasering? I'm in! Sounds like a hoot!

Stephanie Thornton said...

Poor Elphaba! That's what tasering is for, right?

I wanted to see Wicked when I went to NYC last year, but I had my two-year-old monkey with me so we saw The Little Mermaid instead.

Sarah said...

Hahahaha. Of course I'll come!

Some dude has been singing an offkey rendition of a Rihanna song in the library for the past fifteen minutes. He was just kicked out by one of the librarians. Does that count?

Yeah, I'm coming to Cleveland.

P.S. Why didn't Lisa get to go to Wicked? Perhaps this is why she was so cranky? I would be too.

Loretta Nyhan said...

Great story, Laura. You got two shows for the price of one!

And, Lisa. The Uggs have really got to go. I say this as a friend. I refuse to even imagine your state of mind when you bought them--too scary.

Solvang Sherrie said...

Sounds like some big city excitement in Cleveland!

I have been wanting to see Wicked but I still haven't. Maybe I should put tickets for that on my Christmas list!

Kelly H-Y said...

WOW ... that's not what you expect when you go to the theatre! What a riot!

Rhiannon Hart said...

Oh good GRIEF! Tasering in the theatre. Cleveland sounds wild!

Natalie said...

Wow, that sounds like a Wicked performance to remember.

Shannon Messenger said...

LOL. Wow. I have no words. (That may be a first). All I can say is wow.

I saw Wicked in London, and I don't know if it's because the Brits are more polite or Americans are um...interesting, but I did not have that problem. :)

Tamika: said...

What an exercision! That woman definitely needs some pink fuzzy UGGs!

Lori W. said...

More show than you wanted to see/hear. Poor actress. Glad they gave her the standing O.

And back to the pink Uggs: you can boldly set that trend. Soon everyone in Ohio will want them.

Jemi Fraser said...

Yikes! I'd love to see Wicked, but without the extra entertainment :)

Rachele Alpine said...

I'm jealous you got to go (minus the interuptions)...I went the last two times it was in town, but didn't get tickets this time. I love that show, although the flying monkeys give me the creeps!

Heidi Willis said...

I can't believe someone HAD a taser in the theatre!

That totally sucks for the actress, but you know, now she's got a story she'll be telling for life!

Hardygirl said...

Whoa! High drama!!

sf

Karen said...

That is CRAZY!

I've seen it twice now. Love that show! But not nearly as exciting as your experience.

Christina Lee said...

Shut UP!!!! I wonder if that was on our local news! Oh I hope it didn't ruin the show for you--it's a great production isn't it?

lexcade said...

oh man. i'm on my way. the only thing better than great theater is crazy-audience-member theater.

how long does it take to get there from cincy?

jessjordan said...

I guess I'll have to move Cleveland higher up on my list of places to see.

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