Monday, December 7, 2009

Taking the High Road

I'd like to go on the record as saying that taking the high road sucks. Seriously. Everyone always advocates being the bigger person, but it's not even remotely easy for a lot of reasons.

1. Taking the high road typically involves letting other people talk shit about you. Yup, that's right. You get to hold your head up high and not say anything at all while people accuse you of all sorts of terrible things behind your back. Fun!

2. Sometimes having the strength to take the high road means that others just automatically assume you're a bitch. Yes, it's true. Apparently, being strong (and incidentally, right) leads people to believe that you are malicious. And unfortunately when in being-the-bigger-person-mode, you very rarely get to correct anyone about their erroneous assumptions (see #1). Instead you get to wait until they figure it out on their own. Which leads me to #3...

3. Most people will not figure things out on their own. In fact, most people will automatically believe the person who is vocally spreading lies, while you (stupid bastard that you are) are too busy holding your head high to address any of the rumors. Isn't this fun?

But here's the thing, as much as taking the high road sucks it's really the only way to go. I'm not saying it's the easiest route, but at least you'll know that when you're walking it you've done everything you can to do the right thing. At least you'll know you've tried to be honest and stand up for what you believe in.

I guess the good news is that I've met some really fabulous people on the high road. They beat those bitches hanging out on Catty Corner and Liar Lane hands down.

53 comments:

MeganRebekah said...

The high road is not always the fun road.

I hope nobody's talking bad about your girls. You know the blogging community's got your back, right?!?

Tamika: said...

Taking the high is never easy, but it's worth every misconception.

Keep holding fast to the truth. Keep loving when it hurts. You see a far greater reward.

Annette Lyon said...

Amen. I needed this today.

Anonymous said...

So true!

The high road is the best road!!
I know this to be true, because I have spent a little time on Catty Corner from time to time!!

Shannon O'Donnell said...

High road = good road! But... I agree with MeganRebekah. If someone is making our favorite duo unhappy, let us know, so we can get a big stick and beat them with it!! We LOVE you guys! :)

Patti said...

In the end taking the high road will make you a better person than the person who didn't.

Rhonda said...

The high road sucks but it does have the advantage of meeting better company along the way.

CKHB said...

Yes, meeting others on the high road, and being able to look at oneself in the mirror, are pretty much the only advantages to the path. I'm so sick of people thinking that I'm weak or stupid because I don't fight dirty...

ElanaJ said...

So true. Often, though, the high road isn't very crowded, and sometimes I wish people would take it more often. (And yes, I used often twice in that sentence.)

Kudos to you guys!

Abby Annis said...

"Apparently, being strong (and incidentally, right)" Good clarification there. ;) Made me laugh.

Good for you, ladies! The high road can be lonely and frustrating, but it's definitely worth it in the end. Especially since most people tend to only remember the moments you spend on Catty Corner and Liars Lane. :)

Christina Lee said...

True dat! Girls, is someone bothering you on the playground, because I am over by the swings already cracking my knuckles :) I hope this post wasn't created b/c someone's talking smack about you.

Lisa and Laura said...

Ha! I love that we've got the blogosphere at our back. And for the record this isn't related to anyone in the publishing world.

And to be honest, I've spent a lot of time on Liars Lane and Catty Corner and as I told a friend this morning, this post is really a detour down Passive Aggressive Lane.

Perfect? Absolutely not. But I do try to do the right thing. Well, most of the time anyways.

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

L & L sounds like you got burnt bad!!! Hold your head up high and stay true to yourselves and no one can bring you down! Put on some hiking boots for the high road because you will be walking it forever because you gals are awesome!!! So glad I came across your blog because your an inspiration for many!

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

We must live closer to each other than I originally thought I mean we are neighbors, Ohio IS right next to Pennsylvania, bc man I totally know those bitches on Catty Corner and the lame-o's on Liars Lane. You should totally hang out at my house. We eat carb-free cookies there. I live on Awesome Avenue, it's right next to your street actually , Rockin Roecker Road:-)

Lots of love for you two on Monday!!!

Danyelle said...

*hugs* YOu both are made of awesome! The high road is hard, but your true friends are the ones that help you get there, because that's where you'll find parts of your very best self.

*sympathy cookies*

emery said...

1. awesome post, as usual
2. very belated CONGRATS on your success...it was only a matter of a time. you two are so fabulous.

Robin said...

Haha, so true. I love #3, but that's the hardest part of taking the high road. It seems like battling for the truth just ends up in more battles. So shutting up and moving on is the best solution sometimes.

:-)

Nisa said...

The hardest things to do are usually the most rewarding and all the people that matter most know the truth. You're awesome. :)

Corey Schwartz said...

Whoa! What bad rumors have I been missing?

I went to the doctor today in tears and the nurse was so heartless. I wanted to call her a b*tch, but i didn't. Does that mean I took the high road???

Kim said...

As someone who is currently hoofing it down the High Road herself, I couldn't agree with you more! I hope it's nothing major, but you're right as long as YOU know the truth, and those who MATTER know the truth, that is all that counts.

So sorry you're dealing with some nasty nellies too!

jdcoughlin said...

Holy Crap! What happened?
And yes I know, on the high road there is no telling, and in the long run, you are always glad you are on it. Stay on it. Stand tall. Give many the double stink eye. That's not too passive/aggressive, I think.

Kristi Faith said...

You know what, the high road does stink. I've always said that! High five girls, and yup, we all got your back! :0) I like to turn those people into the villians in my books. hehehe How passive aggressive is that?? LOL

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

That high road can be a lonesome trudge but looks like you've got an army of loyal followers. So even though it sucks when someone is mudslinging, perhaps it's not as lonesome as we think it is.

jessjordan said...

Do we need to set up some sort of throwdown with the catty bitches on Liar Lane? B/c I've got mad skills.

Okay, I don't, but LMJ has mastered the stripper pole and moonlights as a peacock, so I'm sure she can help.

Donna Gambale said...

I had a huge roommate issue my freshman year of college, but I didn't say anything to my hallmates about her because I didn't think it was fair. The day before I finally moved out, I learned that she was making me out to be the bad guy to everyone. Lovely.

But the complete stranger I moved in with ended up being one of my best friends.

High road it is!

L. W. said...

You're right about the high road. It's that path you look back on and don't regret. Hang in there.

sunna said...

You want I should kick someone's face in?

The high road often sucks. But I've always found it a nice herd-culling tactic: there are the people who know me well enough to not believe etc., and the people who don't. Not always, but usually, I find out who my real friends are. That's always good to know.

Also, the high road leads to moral high ground, which can be a fun place to stand and survey all the peons from.

...Yes, I wrote that last bit just so I could use the word "peons".

Bethany Wiggins said...

It is always harder to do the right thing/take the high road, IMO. The times I haven't, have given in to my snarky, vengeful side, I regret it. Sometimes for years. And then the apology at the end of the snarky road hurts. High is the way to go.

Kimberly Derting said...

Aww, sounds like you need a hug. Or a drink. You choose.

Happy Monday, I hope it gets better from here. ;)

Shelli said...

your town has a catty corner too? go figure! whatever they are saying - theres no way it coudl ever change my love for you guys! I think you rock...;)

Sara Tribble said...

SO TRUE!

I have to agree, and I think every kid has to endure high school because it really shapes who you are and how you will be in life. I mean, if you're shy and hide away from the popular bitches, than at your work you're more likely to be intimated.

Everyone descerves to be their own person, but they have to be comfortable and strong when becoming it.

Rebecca Knight said...

#3 is a serious bummer, but so true :P.

Sometimes you do just need to sit at the corner cafe on Passive Agressive Lane, sip a mocha, and get your head together for a bit. It helps!

We'll come by and buy you guys a biscotti :).

Lisa Schroeder said...

Wayne Dyer would say you are choosing peace. I like thinking of it that way.

I was reading a book of his a number of years ago when something bad went down in a particular group I was a part of. People said terrible things about me. People believed terrible things about me. And I decided to choose peace. I walked away and didn't fight any of it, even though I had plenty to say, believe me.

I googled and found Dr. Dyer posted about peace recently. Perhaps there will be something here that resonates:

http://www.drwaynedyer.com/blog/be-the-peace

Peace girls!
xo
Lisa

Solvang Sherrie said...

Well, the high road may have been lonely, but look how many people are joining you up there! You know the blogosphere loves you. Who needs live friends when you've got us?

Joanna said...

Oh god. I hate the freaking high road. For some reason it's usually riddled with those little pebbles that get stuck in your shoes.
But it's still the best route.

Whoever inspired this post better watch out! No one messes with LiLa...

Sarah said...

Are you mind-readers? Be honest now! I needed the reminder that there *is* a high road today.

*Sighs. Sticks golf clubs back into car trunk. Turns on engine and heads toward this so-called High Road.*

Katie said...

Oh I'm so sorry. I have been taking the ole high road too lately. But it turns out that all the cool kids are on it, so you're in good company :)

Shannon Messenger said...

What a great post. I feel your pain. I've walked the High Road all alone. In fact, I caused a huge controversy at my film school because I took the high road (long, long story...ah, Hollywood!) and for weeks I was pretty much the most hated person ever. And then slowly people started trickling toward me to take my side and tell me they were proud of me for standing up. Mind you, there were a lot less of them than the ones who were campaigning to have me failed, but still...it helped. Whatever it is you're dealing with, just know there are plenty of people who know you're making the right choice--even if it's not as fun as driving over the annoying people with your car. And it keeps you out of jail, so, you know, bonus points!

Stephanie Jenkins said...

Great post, guys. Taking the high road really does suck 98% of the time, but you're right, it just feels better knowing that you've tried to do the right thing.

Jemi Fraser said...

The high road pays off in the long run - sometimes it seems like a very looooong run :)

christine said...

OMGosh - I had this EXACT conversation - with all the same rationale - today with a friend at work! And yeah, the high road really is the ONLY way to go!!! And yeah, having been on the receiving end of a lot of caddy bs...I can say, it does suck at times!

Carolyn V. said...

I totally agree!!!! I tried to take the highroad recently and found out a whole lot about me that I didn't know I had done.

The highroad is hard, but the only way to go. =) Awesome post. Thanks

Jenna said...

The high road...ah, the high road. Is it still the high road if you follow all of those things but then cannibalize traits of the people who irritate you, eggagerate them comically, and turn them into rather unlikable characters in a book?

'Cuz if it's not, then I only take the high road moost of the time instead of all of it. ;)

Shelby said...

the high road wins in the end :)

yes, great post.

Stephanie Thornton said...

Yeah, we can totally get out a big stick and beat anyone bashing you ladies. That's just not nice.

Remember that all your followers love you!

Dara said...

Yes, taking the high road is often wrought with many challenges and traps, making you wonder why on earth you ever did to begin with.

And I must admit, I've fallen victim to taking the lower and easier road...but in the end, I feel worse about myself for it.

It sucks now, but in the end you'll feel much better about yourselves.

Erica said...

Great post- It's such a hard thing to do. Especially when the high road has pot holes, construction and other obstacles, while Catty Corner and Liar Lane (don't mind if I steal those for the purpose of this post only) have smooth roads, express lanes and no slow drivers- We can wish right?

But you know what's at the end of Catty Corner and Liar Lane- bad karma. Someday people who take the low road will get theirs. I truly believe it, even if it's not me that wields that power.

Wow- You guys may have gotten a coherent thought outta me... Scary :o)

T. Anne said...

Feisty today aren't we? But yes I agree, acting right sucks on occasion. Um, did I miss a beat? Are people being catty and mean to my favorite sisters? I SO don't approve of this malicious behavior. Keep your beautiful heads up and keep repeating this phrase, "We sold a book...we sold a book...
XOXO Big cyber (((HUG)))

storyqueen said...

What the heck is going on???

I'm royal, you know, friends in high places and all that....


Take care.

Shelley

P.S Scary reality-sometime rotten kids grow up into rotten adults.

Wishing it weren't the case...

Kelly H-Y said...

Oh my goodness ... what happened?! Hope you are doing OK ... the high road is the right place to be - - you're doing great!

Anonymous said...

Interesting that people who slink along the low road don't recognize the path they are taking. The rose colored glasses they often wear trick them into thinking they are on the high road. Too many bad trips I guess.

Gail said...

I would be honored to travel the High Road with you guys anytime! Remember, if you're not on the High Road, you probaly are on Slippery Slope Street- a precarious place to be.

Ian said...

I'm back again to let you know that this post has been nominated to receive the best "Things that make you go hmmm post" of the year award. Good luck!

http://thedailydoseofreality.blogspot.com/2009/12/complete-first-annual-ddor-year-end.html

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