Wednesday, December 16, 2009

It's not you, it's me...

Are you sitting down?

Good.

We need to talk, StatCounter.

It's over. For real this time.

I know you've heard it all before, but I'm finally at a point in my life where I just don't have time to obsess over how many times random high school frienemies are looking at our blog on a day-to-day basis. [Note to random high school frienemies: GET A LIFE.]

It's time for us to start seeing other people.

The truth is, I've already got a new boyfriend, Command + R. He refreshes my e-mail with just the click of the button. Well, two buttons if you want to get all technical on me.

I'm sorry, what's that? You think I'm getting a little loose with my interweb dalliances?

Well, you should also know that I have a rather torrid affair going on with my Blackberry. He's got this little red light that blinks when I have a new e-mail and a Twitter app that's absolutely divine. He makes me feel things I've never thought were possible...

Oh, er, sorry, got a little distracted there for a minute.

Anyways, I just can't be tied down like this anymore, StatCounter. I hope we can still be friends.

P.S.
If you're interested I'll totally hook you up with my friend Sarah. Something tells me you two would totally hit it off...

38 comments:

Tamika: said...

How did you know I've been lusting after a Blackberry! You have confirmed my craving!

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

LOL! Reading this post was like being inside my own head for minute-scary! Also that little blinking red light is my OBSESSION! It's sick.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

LOL! I needed a good laugh this morning. I'm having a little trouble waking up today. I knew you two wouldn't let me down. ;-)

Ian said...

I don't care if I'm the second dude out of 1,000 women on this blog. That post was funny!

Suzyhayze said...

The most depressing thing about stat counter is that I am the most active visitor to my own site. Sheesh.

Karen said...

See, this is why I can't get a phone with a data plan. :)

Abby Annis said...

So there's hope? I was ready to join a support group for Statcounter addicts. Now, to find another obsession... ;)

Southern Princess said...

thank you thank you thank you! for the early a.m. laughter. Oh how I know your pain with the relationships we have with blinking lights & quick touch buttons...ahem.

A. Grey said...

A red light that blinks? Thank god I don't have a blackberry! I'd just walk around staring at it hoping for agent responses!

That said, hahahahahah! Thanks for the morning laugh!

Hardygirl said...

I just got an HTC Hero (fake iphone). We're meeting at the Comfort Inn for a nooner.

sf

Hardygirl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hardygirl said...

Okay, so sorry. I hit publish twice. So, now you have THREE comments from me this morning, you lucky ducks!!!

sf

Kristen Torres-Toro said...

Ha! I just got statcounter and Google analytics so I'm learning how to use them. But I expect the thrill to wear off soon...

Little Ms J said...

Ah, yes. The blinking red light. It has created a compulsion within me, an itch to scratch and the obsessive need to begin Crackberrying before I even get out of bed in the morning. I hide under the covers while we rendezvous because it annoys Mr. J. He has taken to grabbing it out of my hands and holding it over my head while I dance and try to climb him like a tree to get it back.

Patti said...

A red light, really. I should probably never get a blackberry I would be totally obsessed.

JennyMac said...

I know all about that dirty and torrid affair with Blackberry.. Twitter app? I need to stay away from this.

Tere Kirkland said...

I'm mad at Statcounter because my blocking cookie never stays activ for more than a few days and I'm always having to reset it. Grr...

Glad I'm not the only one with issues.

Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Emily J. Griffin said...

How's this for over... I've been involved with StatCounter for months, but never talked to him, call him, or review him.

Is this other guy more appealing. Will he keep me from cringing in frustration and confusion. If so, I am stealing your new BF. Sorry. Soon we'll just be frenemies...

Shannon Messenger said...

Heh. You guys are hilarious.

And, blinking red lights? That would be my undoing. I'm so glad my iPhone doesn't have that. But it does have Tweetdeck. I think I need to write a Dear John letter to Tweetdeck. And Twitter. And hotmail. And....

Anyway, thanks for the morning laugh. It'll be interesting to see if your statcounter habits change now. :)

Rebecca Knight said...

Ian: Stand tall, my friend! :) It's good to have the dude perspective on this blog.

LiLa: Breakups are never easy. Do you need Twizzlers now as part of your recovery?

Tabitha Bird said...

Flashing red lights, hey? Yep, that would do it for me too :)

Solvang Sherrie said...

I found one even better than stat counter: http://www.bravenet.com/webtools/counter

WARNING: very cool tools ahead. Enter at your own risk :)

Lunar Amyscope said...

YOU LIIIIIIIIE!!!!!

;)

Sara ♥ said...

LOL this is awesome. And I SO know what you mean about the blackberry - I LOVE mine. The little beep it gives me when I've got mail... Ah, LOVE.

Although... Do you ever miss the feeling of opening your e-mail account and seeing a few new e-mails that you didn't already know would be there? My phone's been dead for two days (I've been too lazy to charge it, haha) and opening gmail gives me SUCH a thrill for the unknown.

Okay. I'm officially a nerd.

Tara McClendon said...

Too funny. My husband's afraid a Blackberry will only enable my Internet addiction. :]

ElanaJ said...

*snarf* I can't wait to see how long this lasts!!

Sarah said...

Dang. You've done it. You've forced me out of hiding.

To be honest, StatCounter and I have been there and done that. We have a shaky relationship at best. We're sort of like Audrina and Justin. We share this "connection" (that no-one else can see) that keeps driving us back to each other, even though we're never really *serious*.

Refreshing email, though? Now *that* I can get behind.

SharonK said...

I had a blackberry for a year and struggled to shut off the blinking red light, wondering why sometimes it blinked and sometimes it didn't.

I finally had a friend explain to me that it meant there was a new email / text / FB message.

Yeah, blonde moment.

Icy Roses said...

Hahhhh, StatCounter. Oh how obsessed am I with that website?

It's totally unhealthy. But I think it's unrequited.

Stephanie Thornton said...

Ohhh... What about Google Analytics? Will you leave him too? :)

I've been too busy to obsess lately, but usually I'm checking on a constant basis. It's sick.

jdcoughlin said...

Okay. Here's my truth Wed. Don't have a blackberry, or a stat thing. Have an old phone that I barely know how to use. Actually hate using the phone unless I'm driving. Also hate driving. So way behind the techno curve thing.

And so want more on the cookie scoop.

Dawn Simon said...

That was funny! (I have Google Analytics.)

Jemi Fraser said...

Hmmm... It's really over??? Good luck!

T. Anne said...

Aww, the siren song of the strong silent type. So lovely.

Ryan said...

Great way to start the night shift. Lol.

ali said...

Statcounter and I are still going out. But it's a real on-again-off-again kinda thing. But you know what L&L? I know you're all hot and bothered over your Blackberry, but I just have to tell ya. My boyfriend is better than yours. Yeah, I know. Sucks to be you. My boyfriend's name is iPhone. He's H.O.T.

sunna said...

It's okay, Statcounter. I still love you. See? I made you cookies. C'mon over here and tell me something good, baby.

Jeannie Lin said...

Wow...has anyone checked the temperature in Hades?

I actually gave up statcounter too. When my site was revamped, the designer used another stat site and it's just not as excessively addictive as statcounter. So she cured me!

Theoretically, you should become more productive now? Right?