Monday, July 6, 2009

Our secret shame...

Our obsession with StatCounter isn't news to anyone who reads our blog on a regular basis, but I'm sad to say that in recent weeks it has escalated to a whole new level.

It all started when we began getting hits from people who we thought might be editors. And then we noticed that there were all kinds of other people checking in on us, including friends, relatives, and even a crazy ex-bestie.

When we discovered a little tool within StatCounter that allowed us to label IP addresses things really started to go downhill. It sort of became a competition between the two of us regarding who could come up with the most amusing label for cyberstalkers.

Just to give you a little (PG) taste of what you might see if you could access our StatCounter archives:

-For the random hit we got from Nordstrom: Creditor (I knew I shouldn't have bought those shoes even if I was only one pair away from another Nordstrom Note)

-For the person who googled us from a bank in NYC: Editor who moonlights as a banker (definitely wishful thinking)

-For the person who might be an editor but is probably just a random from NYC: Editor or cruel joke? (thankfully StatCounter allows punctuation)

-For the crazy ex-bestie: Crazy (we're so succinct)

-For the crazy ex-bestie potentially logging on from a different computer: Crazy getting tricky? (succinct AND observant)

-For the hundreds of people who have found the blog by Googling Laura's name: Laura Stalkers (spurned boyfriends, ex-students, jealous classmates? Your guess is as good as mine, but a lot of people are wondering what Laura Roecker is up to these days. Maybe they just want to check in and see if she's still homecoming queen material?)

-For the one person who found the blog by Googling my name: Finally a Lisa stalker! (It pains me to admit that even after all this time, Laura is still more popular than me. Ouch.)

The best part about all of this is that it's pure conjecture. That's half the fun, really. The only thing we know about the hits we get is the general region, so we get to make up all the details ourselves.

So if you're logging on from Las Vegas, we naturally assume you're a high school nemesis turned show girl. And if it's a hit from L.A., you're clearly a movie scout who happened to find our manuscript abandoned on the subway on a scouting trip in NYC, read it on the plane ride home and you're now dying to acquire film rights before we even publish the book. I mean, what are the chances!?

Now, for the record, all of our fabulous regular readers including our real friends, family and blog friends go without nicknames because it's really only fun to make fun of crazy people and ourselves.

But cyberstalkers, BEWARE. We are watching you. Well, not so much watching you as amusing ourselves at your expense. Whatever. You get the idea.


Weronika Janczuk said...

Ahahaha, this makes three of us! (It's so very interesting, the kind of things you can learn about people.)

As for the creative and succinct naming, I applaud you! ;)

Eva said...

I too am addicted to checking stats and tracking who hits my blog. The nice thing is that since I use a Verizon air card, my location doesn't show up as Nashville, usually. So, I can freely stalk others. It's beautiful, really. :)

Tess said...

So, I cooked up steak for dinner the day I found the search for 'tess hilmo blog' from NYC. I was certain it was an editor, but then I figured out it was just my agent. I'm glad he's reading, but was totally bummed!

My relationship with stat-counter is a love-hate one.

I think I need therapy.

XiXi said...

...really, Laura? You were Homecoming Queen too? And you allegedly have "the hottest family ever?"

Is this world even fair?

Clearly, everyone from NYC is an editor or an agent. It's a fact of life. I choose to believe it.

Little Ms J said...

1. I am concerned that this is what I have to look forward to as I already got in a fight with my husband about my newly inflamed case of ADD, "Really? You have to check your email at dinner?" He calls my laptop my Other Husband and threw a temper tantrum the other night when I wouldn't talk to him because I was online. TEM-PER TAN-TRUM. I didn't even know what to do with him.

2. When my sister posted my first interview (and only, but who's counting) she kept texting me that someone from CA was checking it and she just knew it was a certain So Cal agent. It took us several hours and a little excitement to realize that... Um, it was me. My Verizon Wireless pings off of CA. I totally screwed up her StatCounter and we both cried a little that day.

3. Alex Glass is still following my blog and checks in every few weeks to see if I've added anything new and stalkerish. Unfortunately, he only checks the Blood Followers posting and doesn't peruse. Whatever, Alex Glass. Whatever.

4. You are effing killing me with the scouting thing. I totally see this person wearing a beret, smoking a cigarette and driving a convertible BMW down PCH while they spill coffee all over your manuscript because they can't put it down. Totally. They are so calling you for movie rights.

5. Do you like my list?

Jeannie Lin said...

No, no! Don't tell me about StatCounter! I don't want to know.

It's so fascinating to think of who comes by for a look-see on blogs. It's like cyber-people watching. Making stories up about them? Even better!


Statcounter = another addiction to look forward to and/or be driven crazy by.

I must say, though, that I liked my anonimity. Stinking, Statcounter. What ... now I can't stalk ex-besties freely??? Gahhhh. Off to find a new pasttime ...

Christina Lee said...

haha you guys are great! I was so happy to hear you were from my hood!! I am now going to "follow" you and stalk you! it's funny b/c I have been meaning to do a post on my google searches- I gets lots of "real pictures of dead people"-which makes sense b/c of the name of my blog but....ick!

Samantha said...

Hi guys-

Sorry I haven't been around! But you'll now see a California IP's mine.

What's the word???


Wayne said...

Just thought I'd let you know why one tick of your counter exists -
My wife's maiden name is Lisa Laura, so the Google alert we set up always shows me your new posts.
Hope you're having fun, girls!
(not an editor or an agent!)

Elana Johnson said...

Dude, I really need to get into statcounter more often. It sounds so fun!

Hardygirl said...

Statcounter is CRAZY fun!! I love all the little charts, and I, too, have been getting some NYC hits on my new website (thank you very much for the info!).

I am now going to invent a persona for each and every hit. Thank you for another fabulous procrastination tool.


PurpleClover said...

This is hilarious! I read it and tried to comment on it yesterday but for some reason it kept kicking me off blogger everytime I would type in the verification word. grrr.

Anyhow, yes, as Ms. J said, we can get pretty crazy with the stat-counter. Although I haven't looked at mine in a while but I haven't been on a blogger that frequently. I plan to change that now that I have my laptop back!!

lisa and laura said...

Weronika - Love that we're in good company with the statcounter obsession!

Grey - Hey, no fair that you can stalk us freely while you know that every Cleveland hit is US stalking YOU.

Tess - Been there done that, my friend. Hey, it's pretty cool that your agent checks your blog though! Silver lining!

Icy - Tell me about it! Can you imagine growing up in your sister's shadow the way I have. It was traumatic.

LMJ - Love your list and love that you and P-Clo are co-conspirators for all things stat related. Hilarious that Alex is still checking in from time to time. I'm dying to meet him in person just so I can ask for a lock of his hair and mumble something about you and blood followers. Awesome.

Jeannie - Maybe you can reward yourself with StatCounter AFTER revisions are done?

Jess - You just need to step up your stalking efforts. Talk to Grey Street Girl, she's totally flying under the radar.

Christina - We secretly love stalkers and are thrilled to have found one in you! We might need you to do a guest blog or two with some of your fab fashion advice. You're living proof that Clevelanders are way more stylish than we get credit for!

Sam - Malibu!? Damn, we were hoping that Gerard Butler was checking our blog from his beach house. Welcome back! We've missed you and you've missed nothing. Just lots of nonsense as we wait for editors to read. Boring.

Wayne - Your comment totally made my day. AWESOME. Thanks for stopping by and sorry that we're screwing up your google alerts.

Elana - It's a party baby! Of course, it also means we do little else, but whatev.

SF - Ooh, NYC hits are the best. I get little butterflies in my stomach every time I see one. Enjoy!

P-Clo - We've missed you! Glad your back in action with a new laptop!

Sherrie Petersen said...


(Was that succinct enough?) ;)

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