Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Top 10 Things You Should Know About Laura by Lisa

So...yeah, we're running out of things to blog about because our lives really aren't that exciting and I couldn't find any pictures to accurately illustrate the abysmal fashion choices that Jessie made on NYC Prep last night. (Chuck Taylors and leggings with a t-shirt when you're under 5'8 is just a bad idea and when you follow that ensemble up with a pair of SPARKLY SUSPENDERS it makes me want to send you a very succinct e-mail: Dude, seriously? You're rich. Buy a stylist.)

Anyways, we decided to do a couple of posts where I report 10 Random facts about Laura and then tomorrow, she'll do the same for me. I'm sure it's going to be riveting, so here it goes.

1. Laura is naturally skinny. For this reason alone we should all hate her. She looks the same whether she diets or works out or does nothing but sit on her ass and eat Twizzlers all day. I'm really not sure we could be friends if we weren't sisters. I'd be way too jealous.

2. Laura is the epitome of the middle child. She spent our entire childhood assuming that she was adopted and unloved. This resulted in lots of angsty poetry and journal entries about her life as the unwanted daughter. This was all highly entertaining for older, jealous sisters. Trust me.

3. Laura's husband looks EXACTLY like Josh Duhamel. I'll have to ask Stacey to do a little photoshop mock-up of the two of them next to each other. The end result is that Laura, John and little baby Lydia look like a family who has been genetically engineered for perfection. One of their babysitters recently went on record dubbing them "the hottest family EVER." Or my personal favorite, when the photographer who took their family picture asked "Are you sure you're from Cleveland? You guys are just too good looking for that town."

Update! Photoshop Genius Sister did a little side-by-side for us. Josh is on the left and John is on the right.

4. Laura is an amazing writer. She is so much more thoughtful in her writing than I am. She takes the time to visualize scenes and really think about how the characters are moving and reacting, whereas I sort of puke words onto the page and send them over to her to fix them.

5. Laura is SUPER shy. Laura has always been really shy and as a result people assumed she was a total bitch. So wrong. Even to this day there are certain people she's unable to make eye contact with. This always cracks me up about her because if you met her you'd think she was supremely self-confident. Apparently, the burdens of being gorgeous run deep.

6. Laura is hilarious. She's always had a special knack for making me laugh my ass off. Even when we were younger she would dress up in random outfits and do this little retarded reindeer dance that would crack me up. Totally not politically correct, but highly entertaining. And just this morning her retelling of an episode of Scare Tactics had me laughing so hard that tears started streaming down my cheeks.

7. Laura is the best mom. So much more patient than I am. And my mom is always going on and on about how organized and clean she is which is really a way for her to remind me how disorganized and sloppy I actually am. My mother's special gift for backhanded critiques is one that I've inherited. I should apologize to my children in advance.

8. Laura is a hypochondriac. She is constantly going to the doctor for real and imagined issues of all kinds. She was one of those kids that always had a wrist or ankle wrapped in an Ace bandage, praying that the Dr. would say it was broken and she'd be vindicated with an actual cast.

9. Laura is the best bargain hunter. Ever. She found a pair of Gucci sunglasses for me at TJ Maxx and they were only $30. She's one of those people that sifts through the racks at discount stores and always finds the most amazing things.

10. My daughter, Mia, is Laura's clone. She's goofy, hypersensitive and extremely high maintenance. A little mini-Laura for me to boss around and love. Let's just hope she inherits her aunt's big heart and fast metabolism.

This is completely unrelated, but can we all agree that the editor of People Magazine is officially going to hell for this photo spread? It just seems wrong on so many levels.


Rebecca Knight said...

Awwww :D! I love this post!

Nice to meet you, Laura (although the being natural skinny thing is sort of sick and wrong.) We forgive you, but just barely ;).

Rebecca L Sutton said...

Hmm this list is helping me see who's who in the posts. Love that. It's so fun to get to know the personal side of other writers I love following. I was just thinking about posting a little video of my son that always makes me smile - just because I heart him.

Laura, you sound like an amazing person! But it would have been great to have a picture of you so we can match the face to the name! It's so confusing when there are two of you in the picture there!

Thanks for sharing Lisa. Great post!

Sara Raasch said...

"Are you sure you're from Cleveland? You guys are just too good looking for that town."


Oh my gosh. Just -- awesome.

Sarah said...

Well done, Lisa. I’d also like to add:

11. Laura does the best impression of a man, which is a key ingredient to a successful prank phone call.

12. Laura looks good even when she chops her hair off like a boy and it starts to grow out into a mulfro. (Half mullet half fro.)

XiXi said...

This is clever! Haha, I'm naturally skinny too, but I'm Asian, so that doesn't even count.

So...which one is Lisa and which one is Laura in the picture?

Tess said...

Yeah, who's who in the pic?

How fun to get to know you better...looking forward to know Lisa in the next post :D

ps- no news here either. I'm starting to get annoyed.

lisa and laura said...

Laura's on the left and Lisa's on the right! Glad you liked the was all Lisa's idea. She's the true idea whore (you'll learn more tomorrow).

Anonymous said...

Such a great post!! Love it. I have no sisters of my own, so it is fun to hear about you guys...

Little Ms J said...

How sweet! Laura, it is so nice to get to know you better and DAY-um on the hubby. Nicely done, sister. Nicely done.

Rebecca L Sutton said...

Did you see this post? Check out what's hot...

lisa and laura said...

Rebecca - We totally saw that and it made us want to puke! For the love of god where does that intern work and how do we find out if we're on submission there!?!

Danyelle L. said...

You guys are made of complete awesomeness. I never come away from this blog without a smile. And usually a chuckle. :D

Sherrie Petersen said...

What a fun way to learn more about you guys! I can't wait to hear the dirt on Lisa tomorrow :)

Kimberly Derting said...

My daughter is a classic hypochondriac who wants something to be broken in the worst way. For Christmas last year I bought her an arm sling and a cane. Dude, she was in faker's heaven. She wore the sling to school for like three days. All the moms at the busstop looked at me like I was nuts for letting her...but, honestly, she's the youngest of three, as long as she's not bothering me, she can pretty much do what she wants.

Jen said...

I came over here to demand that you post a pic of the hubby and I see that you already did. Wow! He really does resemble Josh! Lucky Laura! Not to mention #1--being naturally skinny. Oh how I wish that I could say that about myself!

Elana Johnson said...

So fun to get to know you guys--from the other's point of view!

Katie Anderson said...

Okay - y'all are soo cute! I loved reading these and Laura's hubby is so fine! haha - did y'all ever say that in high school, or was that a southern thing?

"He is SO fine!"

I am cracking myself up!

What else? I'm thinking y'all are all def. too cool for Cleveland :-) LOL

I can't think of anything else. I got nothin'. The summer has stolen all of my words - including blog posts. I haven't written one in forevah.


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