Wednesday, March 2, 2011

WTF Wednesday: A Rusty Celeb Poem

Forgive me, for it's been a while.

Some time has passed, the months flew by,
since our last celebrity poem.
We’ll do our best, we’ll try, try, try,
to make the celebs feel at home.

Christina’s in quite a pickle,
her boyfriend's DUI caused a clamor.
We know it’s rude to be fickle,
but she passed out in the slammer.

Gwynnie often makes our shit list,
she’s constantly raising her nose.
But Oscar Karaoke we can’t resist,
to the top of the happy list she goes.

Charlie Sheen just joined Twitter,
his crazy will be on display.
His career flushed down the shitter,
another meltdown any day.

J. Biebs has turned seventeen,
growing up before our eyes.
Now if only he’d let us intervene,
we’d baptize him with pink hair dyes.

I can't promise there will be more,
these poems are a giant time suck.
But the celeb mishaps galore,
fit right in on our Wednesday of WTF!

PS: We're hitting up Bri Meets Books as well as The Story Siren blog today. If you're not too sick of us, check them out! 


Matthew MacNish said...

Charlie looks like hell lately. I mean I know he talks crazy, but I mean he really looks like a walking skeleton.

Author and HIV/AIDS Advocate--S.Meredith said...

Loved this post...and your pink hair ; )

Unknown said...

Okay. I'm disappointed. I really and truly wanted to see a blow by blow of your book birthday. Did you carry it around? Did you pop in a bookstore? Did you get a ton of email and calls? Was it wonderful? Overwhelming? Overrated? Did The Regulator bake you a cake? Did you pass out from the stress and anticipation of it all?

Anonymous said...

Your celebrity poems, they cause me to smile--
Though I haven't read one in quite a long while.
You're witty, you're charming, you're scathing. It's cute.
And your snarky tear-downs of celebs are a hoot.
But the thing that I can't seem to figure out, now,
Is where you find the time to keep track of this. How
Do you keep up with all of the gossip, my dears
While writing and blogging here all of these years?
I think there's a secret. I think that I know it.
I think that you two are just too scared to show it.
I think that you don't watch the TV at all,
And have someone else that you know you can call
To get all of the dirt and the pop culture junk.
I think that the rep you've created is bunk.
So who is that? (Yah, I iz investigator.)
I found out you've drafted the ol' Regulator.
Come clean, ladies. It's just the right thing to do.
(Oh, and tell your sweet sister to get a life, too.)



Tracey Neithercott said...

Love it! With Charlie Sheen *and* James Franco now tweeting, I'm afraid the Internet might explode with crazy.

Oh, and you might forever ban me from your blog, but I thought Gwyneth looked gorgeous at the Oscars. She's snooty as always, but she does it looking good.

Little Ms J said...

I LOVE your celeb poems! I do agree with Katie, however, that I was hoping for a breakdown of A Day In The Life... You have to tell us what you ate, what kid threw what tantrum, who called you, who sent you flowers and whether or not your husbands finally realized that the yoga pants and affair with your MAC was well worth it.

Congrats again!

Unknown said...

"Baptize him with pink hair dyes!"


Stina said...

Oh, wow, so the Bieb is now the same age as my inner teen. No wonder my inner teen now thinks he's hot. Of course the inner and outer adult in me prefers much older men. Like *sigh* Colin Firth. :D

Kelly Lyman said...

Ha! Awesome.

Laura S. said...

Ahahahaha! Hilarious! You should submit them to a tabloid, lol. Maybe one would want you to start your own celebrity poem column!

Nicole Zoltack said...

LOL I can't get the picture of the Beibs with pink hair out of my head now!

Marsha Sigman said...

This was awesome!!!hahahah

But I can't help but still like Charlie Sheen. It's not like he's trying to hide the crazy.

Soooo not the case with the sneaky evil that is Gwyneth.

Tere Kirkland said...

Pink hair on that child would definitely be an improvement. Sadly, it would give him some much needed edge. My husband was watching tv with me the other day, and turns to me and says: "What's a Bieber?"

Lucky guy had been blissfully ignorant of the Bieber's existence until then. ;)

Can't wait to hear more about the Liar Society!

JEM said...

Loves it! And congrats to the both of you pink-haired ladies.

Krispy said...

Yay celebrity poems! I love these.

There's so much cray-cray going on among the rich and famous these days...

Brigitte said...

Nooo I actually liked Christina. She seemed likable enough until all this scandalous madness happened.
And John Galliano's been fired from Dior, apparently. :O

I try to keep up with all the celeb gossip but without cable, it's almost impossible Dx

Thanks for the fun post. :D


Jemi Fraser said...

A pink Bieber would be fun :)

LTM said...

LURV this. Is the Beaver really 17? (!) I thought he was only like 13 or something. sigh. My daughters are taking me to his movie Sat. (They're 7 & 8) but great poem~ <3

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