Friday, August 14, 2009

My Husband, The Professional Golfer...

So let's just say that Ken came home from work one day, and told me that he'd decided to pursue his dream of being a professional golfer. Sure, he knew it was a long shot, but he had always loved it and one of his brothers was going to be his caddie. They were going to do it together, and they didn't care how much work it took, they were going to go pro. Only problem, it was probably going to take up a lot of his free time, you know, weekends, evenings, etc. He'd still be around. He'd just be golfing. All. The. Time.

And then he goes out and wins a couple of minor tournaments. He was spending a lot of time on this golf thing and he was getting better. Sure, he played like total crap most of the time. Crowds even booed him at tournaments, but he kept golfing. And kept getting better. Until the day came when he won a pretty big tournament in our neck of the woods and all of the sudden Phil Mickelson's golf coach decided to take him on. He saw potential. He thought that with a little more practice Ken would be ready for professional golf.

Unfortunately, a little more practice meant that Ken was busy almost all the time. Sure he was around, but he was sort of obsessed with golf. It was all he could talk about, all he could think about and he stayed up late into the night practicing his chip shot. Oh and that brother of his, he was always calling and texting, always around talking golf and there was no question that he spent a lot more time with Ken than I ever did. 

Of course, the chances of him actually winning a professional tournament were slim, but that only drove him harder. It made him work more and sleep less. There were weeks where he was almost completely focused on putting and we spent our evenings watching him practice in our family room on one of those mini putting green things.

When I complained to Laura that Ken wasn't being supportive enough, this is the scenario she presented to me. How would I feel if the shoe was on the other foot? If Ken decided to pursue some crazy dream at the expense of time with me and the kids?

Yeah, I'm not sure I want to answer that. Particularly on 4 hours of sleep. 

16 comments:

Tara said...

Well played!

Great seeing you guys yesterday.

Lisa and Laura said...

Ah man, now I'm the wise, boring, no fun, tiara-wearing sister. In the voice of Derek Zoolander, "Who am I?"

Rebecca Knight said...

You're totally still fun, hence the tiara in the first place!

Anyway, this is such a thought-provoking post. I think as the "writers" in the family, we can get sucked into thinking we're the ones who deserve all of the patience and support in the world while we ignore our family and chores, obsessing over our goals.

Well, dammit, the husbands should get that, too. Shouldn't their dreams justify as much sacrifice on our part? The only thing is, I enjoy being selfish, we all do, so I think it's a conscious, sometimes difficult choice to reciprocate.

I've been learning that this week helping my husband with his crazy art form, which involves me making a LOT of plaster molds of his face. It's time consuming, and creepy, but then again, so is my writing!

We finally decided that we are both alternately Dr. Frankenstein and Igor, and that is okay.

Everyone needs an Igor to support them, and everyone deserves to be Frankenstein once in awhile when they are passionate about their goals.

Word verification: glueyspoo

Ryan said...

Sounds like me. But, with golf instead of writing. I just wish I had an agent come up to me like that. If will come in time though. Until then I'll just keep swinging.

Sarah said...

Laura, maybe the wisdom has something to do with the tiara? If so, are Wisdom Tiaras for sale? I need one!

I hate when the shoe is on the other foot because, really, shoes aren't like gloves or socks. People will stare when you wear your shoes wrong. I know this from experience. And also, it's hard and often requires selflessness.
But it's a good reminder. I think writers especially have a tendency to focus on their desire for support and forget that other people need it too sometimes. I know I'm 100% guilty of this.

Jeannie Lin said...

Practicing on the mini-putting green...excellent visual. Because that's what it comes down to, doesn't it? I have drafts all over the house because I try to catch a moment while hubby is watching baseball to revise. (His idea of spending time together is sitting on the couch and watching the Cardinals game. So I do it. For us.)

Laura sounds like a wise woman.

confused homemaker said...

It's easy in theory but hard in reality to support each other's dreams, it takes a lot of patience & an occasional meltdown. From my experience anyway.

Weronika said...

Oh, great post, Lisa! Thank you!

P.S. Check out a blog post of mine for an award I just passed on to you two this afternoon. :D

Katie said...

This post was so awesome that I read it to my husband. Genius! And so sad, but true...

Shelli said...

i know I would not especially since i hate golf (PS my hubby hates to read - I know I know! embarressing - my shocking secret. I married someone who does not read *sigh*. He is from the UK though :)

Anonymous said...

Somehow I see myself in this scenario...if it wasn't for some tendonitis I would be right there!

Solvang Sherrie said...

I sympathize sister. The dream pursuit is not easy!

Jenna Alexander said...

Lisa Laura - I nominated you for an award.

Sorry I don't know how to paste a live link in the comments section.

Check it out here: http://jenna-alexander.blogspot.com/2009/08/kreativ-blogger-award.html

Kimberly Derting said...

Damn, I hate a story that ends with a moral. Especially one that makes me feel selfish. (I knew I shouldn't have read this post!) ;)

And, Shelli, your husband would totally be forgiven for not reading since he has a British accent. It's an even trade.

Shelli said...

gave you guys an award at my blog :)

Christina Lee said...

Timely for me b/c of these kind of discussions at my house- supporting each other's dreams -my hubby computer tech geek aka brilliant musician who plays the bass and who would never be fulfilled without playing and recording music-and then there's me and my dream. The key is to always check in with each other because you can get caught up in your dream so easily! great post!