Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Facebook Makes Me Feel Dirty...

Ok, so team LiLa is dangerously close to creating a Facebook Page. Laura and I both have pages now under our married names and it's actually sort of a nightmare. I can't stop myself from logging on because I just have to know what the random people from high school are up to on a day-to-day basis, but some of the updates are so disturbing I feel like I need to shower after reading them.

Things I don't need to see in your Facebook Status:

  • Details about your current medical conditions, including (but not limited to) stretch marks and/or visits to your psychiatrist.
  • Random lyrics from songs in the 90's. Sadly, I already remember that Vanilla Ice was too cold without your daily reminder.
  • Pictures of you or your spouse giving birth. Does this really need an explanation?
  • Photos of your children dressed in Ed Hardy. That's child abuse. Your kids are too young to know they shouldn't be dressed like that in public.
  • How much beer you've consumed in the last 24 hours. Keep it to yourself. Haven't you heard the term "private shame?"
  • References to "getting back in the saddle" after giving birth. Come on people! Have you no dignity? Are there no details too personal? It's just wrong. WRONG.
Here's the big question for all of you aspiring authors out there: For those of you with Facebook accounts that you use for professional purposes, what the heck do you post? Laura and I are a little terrified of outing ourselves on Facebook because we'll get a mix of random high school frienemies and fun writer friends following us, and while our close friends and family know that we're aspiring writers, the rest of the world does not.

Hold us.

27 comments:

MeganRebekah said...

I haven't gone public with my facebook because of this. I like keeping my personal and pseudo-professional lives separate right now. Plus, it can be hard enough keeping up with blogging. Now I have to be interesting on Facebook too? So much pressure!

Mariah Irvin said...

Maybe you guys should make a fan page! I would become a fan and say only nice, ego-flattering things.

Rebecca Knight said...

See, I would love to know the answer to this, too! I have a Facebook page, but it's sad and neglected because I'm not sure what to say in that type of setting.

Icy Roses said...

All right, no offense, but I think that older people (ie people out of college) don't really understand the concept of Facebook. I've never seen this kind of problem with the younger generation, but it's like whenever parents get Facebooks, they go crazy and put every bit of their personal lives online. I mean...we have a limit. Seriously. Childbirth? That never needs to be seen by anyone except the obstetrician, and definitely not by old high school friends. The only thing I can imagine is maybe how much alcohol you've consumed in twenty-four hours and that's only the trashiest among us who evidently don't care if employers are creeping. If it's bad to have drunk pictures on FB, then it's doubly wrong to have LABOR PICTURES on it.

This kind of thing seems pretty self-explanatory to me, but the kinds of stuff some people put up make me think, "I guess not."

But I figure you guys wouldn't do anything like that. Right?

Little Ms J said...

Oh for the love of Pete. Get on FB already. It is fun and while some people are bat shit crazy at least you know who to avoid at reunions.

Jill Kemerer said...

At first, I tried a personal and a professional page, but FB somehow linked the accounts (don't ask me how!) so that if I posted on one, it would show up on the other. Finally, I got rid of the one and have all of my friends and professional contacts in the same account.

I'm not an exciting post-er, and I never include pic's of my kids or family, but FB works fine for me with both worlds merged.

Good luck!

Tere Kirkland said...

I never got a MySpace or Facebook account because I like my privacy. It was hard enough for me to "come out" on my blog. I also hate those trivial "quizzes" that get passed around with the fire of a thousand suns.

I was thinking of getting a LinkedIn account, purely professional.

Anissa said...

I don't facebook. I grew up in a tiny town and don't want people to find me! Antisocial? Me???

Karen said...

My personal fave: the needy mystery status

"Karen is...wondering how she will go on."

-Oh, Karen, is everything okay?
-I'll be thinking about you, hang in there!
-Stay strong!!

And then, when they finally explain themselves, it's something stupid like a stubbed toe. If you're going to be emotionally needy and mysterious on Facebook, at least make up an interesting story to go along with it.

SharonK said...

I agree with Mariah - create a fan page, I think it makes the most sense. I do post way too much of a personal nature on my FB and wouldn't want that shared with the throngs of fans that will be sure to hunt me down once I'm published.

Btw, a twenty-three yr old friend today posted "I'm bleeding". Guess we know what you'll be doing next month at this time too. So um, thanks for sharing?

L. W. said...

I agree w/MeganRebekah. It's nice having the two lives separate for now. I don't want to edit myself based on what my FB "frienemies" (cute) might think. I would. But, maybe you can let that go. Who cares what they think? Your stuff is fun and non-offensive (unless you're Lindsay Lohan's plastic surgeon).

re: content: The authors I'm a fan of on FB usually post links to their blogs, calendars of book signings, funny notes, etc. I'll become a fan.

ElanaJ said...

I try to keep mine professional, yet personal and entertaining. I stick to some writing things, but since I have my hs friends on there too, I try to do some personal things too. Basically, I'm just me. Since I'm a mix of a writer and a real person too. :)

Danyelle said...

*grin*

I treat FB just like Twitter and my blog. There are a few more personal details such as what I'm doing, but no personal personal details. My rule of thumb is to never type anything I would be mortified if another person read--especially if they're a complete stranger. :)

Solvang Sherrie said...

I started using Facebook to catch up with old friends. Then writers started friending me on there as well. I worried that it might be kind of invasive at first, but it really hasn't been a big deal. I've met most of these people in person anyway, so they're almost like real friends. Right?

I mean, it's not like I'm going to post the topless pictures of myself downing shots in that piano bar. Ha! As if...

Sarah said...

Facebook is kind of a disappointment. And clearly, I don't know any interesting people, because the updates aren't even mildly entertaining.
I mean, pictures of people giving birth?? Sure, I scoff (and gag) at such stuff, but it's still sort of entertaining in an obnoxious and "holy cow, there is something worse than reality TV after all" way, right? Right?

Anyway, I'm with Mariah! Get a fan page!

Kate Walton said...

I mostly have personal stuff on FB - you can actually create lists of who sees your photos or videos or blog posts - to keep private stuff private.

Tamika: said...

This post is for me!

I just started blogging in September and I am really skeptical of Facebook for the very reasons you named. I don't have the fondest high school memories, and prefer to just use the source for professional writer purposes.

Looking forward to what others have to say on this topic.
Thanks for a great post!

Katie said...

I think you might find FB boring in comparison to Twitter. AND since you already tweet, I like Chris Richman's goal to keep FB for personal peeps.

No matter what you choose, they all get old after a while. All that is, except StatCounter. haha

How's your rehab coming btw?

Erica said...

Yeah I agree with MeganRebekah and L.W. for now- they are separate entities. Not sure if it will stay that that way, but for now, it works :)

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

I was on facebook when it started! Back when it was all super exclusive for just ivy league schools, so Im super used to it. Just do it! Its another way to publicize yourselves and I don't get the whole public/private thing, its the internet-I wouldn't post anything I didn't want anyone to see whether I had a public or private page. Drink the koolaid!

Suzyhayze said...

I just like to see how much better I look than my old boyfriends wives. What's so bad about that? ;)

jessjordan said...

I totally feel you. I have a FB page, but it's non-writing related. And i swear to GOD if I have to see one more post about the size of a pregnant belly and gross things your body does while pregnant, I'm going to blow up facebook. Yep. You heard me.

Hardygirl said...

I have to disagree with my partner (blog partner, that is). I love Facebook and I just can't get into Twitter. It makes me feel crazy.

But, facebook? You get to see pictures.

But, yes. Beware of those high school friends. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

sf

Kimberly Derting said...

That's not FB status material. don't they know that's what you start a blog for? Duh!

I have a hard time with my FB because I have friends from highschool on there mixed with writer friends and (now) teen readers. I did make separate lists "Personal" and "Professional" so that when I post things like pics of my kids, I mark it personal and only people I've deemed trustworthy can see them. It works out pretty well, but I keep my status updates clean and stretch-mark free.

Natalie said...

Pictures of of your spouse giving birth--SERIOUSLY?!? Who would post something like that? I have a super lame facebook page that I've never written anything on or uploaded pictures, but still people friend me (mostly random people from high school, or random people my husband knew in high school).

Tess said...

I don't FB - I feel kind of commitment-phobic about it.

Christina Lee said...

ummm...that's why I haven't gone public. sorry-no ideas for you...