Monday, October 12, 2009

O Motivation Where Art Thou?

My motivation to write is MIA. Laura sent me new chapters for London Calling on Friday. I read them, loved them, went out of town for the weekend and haven't been able to open the document since.

This can't be good.

Thankfully I've got a few theories about what might have happened.

1. Ever since I got back from this amazing trip to Italy with my husband, I've been having the worst time focusing. Oh and there's this politician that I made out with after a town hall meeting. Whenever I sit down to write my mind just wanders and I end up thinking about how amazingly hot I looked when I met my husband for drinks in Rome.

2. My husband decided to take on this second job as the director of a high school glee club and he sings all these really catchy songs that I just can't seem to get out of my head. All the singing and the dancing makes it pretty much impossible to write anything. Not to mention the fact that he's been flirting with this crazy ass guidance counselor and I'm faking a pregnancy in a desperate bid to save my marriage.

3. The real truth is that I live in this fabulous apartment building and the other night I woke up to the sound of sirens and it turns out that my landlord was found murdered in the pool and I'm a prime suspect in the investigation. I'm sorry, there's just no way I can write when I'm 99% sure that my neighbor is working as a high-end prostitute.

4. I may not have mentioned this before, but I'm an FBI agent that works on creepy cases that totally gross most people out, and I have this uber hot partner who's got this crazy dad and a couple of weeks ago I visited another dimension. So, every time I sit down to write all I can think about is this message that I got in the other dimension that will supposedly save the world. Oh, and my uber hot partner.

5. These new guys moved to my town. They're brothers and they're totally cute, but I'm starting to think something is a little off about them. They freak out whenever they see blood and all of the sudden wild animals have been killing young girls in our town. Needless to say, the entire situation is more than just a little distracting.

Is it clear what's keeping me from my writing? Someone needs to take a sledgehammer to my TiVo.

22 comments:

Christina Lee said...

hahah I'm laughing my ARSE off! it's killing me what #1 is--please tell me!Actully #5 is making me write really sexy scenes :)

Donna Gambale said...

I feel your pain. I was so much more productive during re-run season.

I don't watch #1 or #3, but I can add:
6. I live on a quiet street in suburbia that has seen its share of murder, scandal, and mayhem. But I rarely seem to work, so my friends and I have plenty of time to gossip about all the drama.
7. I'm famous mystery writer who's teamed up with a hottie detective, the inspiration for the MC of my newest series of novels. Did I mention that I'm witty, she's hot, and we solve murders together?
8. I'm one of an ensemble of brilliant and whiny surgeons who deal with drama drama drama in the OR. Oh, and the hospital's making cuts because of a merge, so I'm working a ton of overtime to try to save my job.
9. I'm having serious identity issues because I'm a partially self-aware "doll" for some messed-up company. I get new assignments every week, and some are dangerous, but luckily I have a hottie ex-FBI agent on my side.

Yeah.... there goes the motivation! My DVR's working overtime.

Loretta Nyhan said...

In the same boat. It's number one that's killing me. Number two I'm staying far away from because I know I'll get sucked in. My friend wants me to get into number five, and I don't know how long I can resist. Damn you DVR!!!

Awesome post, BTW.

Kimberly Derting said...

Thank god for my DVR, it cuts 20 minutes off of every hour!

It made the wedding I attended in Niagra Falls last week a mere 40 minutes of hilarity and mayhem. And hanging out with my half-wit friends Dee, Dennis, Mac, and Charlie at their Philadelphia bar is only minutes out of my day.

Of course 20+40+40+20+ ... okay, you get the idea = too much TV. Umm, yeah, somebody needs to smash mine too.

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

Heheheh. You never fail to amuse me and I love it. Also I just realized I'm comment of the week! I'd never seen that before and thus my day is made! Thanks!

sraasch said...

If that was all one person's real life...dude. Talk about intense. Haha

Tere Kirkland said...

Talk about needing to unplug-- the television.

I'm the same way, though!

Danyelle said...

*snicker*

You know, you had me going there for a minute, even though something in the back of my head kept saying, "Nuh uh!" I was about to be very jealous about the whole Italy thing, and was wondering which politician your husband was. >.<

My excuse is that I've probably never even heard of, let alone see, any of these.

*motivation cookies*
*unplugs television*
*hides plug*

Natalie said...

This was so funny! You had me until point #2. I am not a big television watcher but I find plenty of other ways to waste my time. :)

T. Anne said...

All good reason ;) Of course the TIVO sledge hammer thing sounds vital. ;)

Mariah Irvin said...

Whenever you guys mention "London Calling" I can't get The Clash out of my head.

Now I can't get the music from "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" out of my head.

Carrie Harris said...

Mmmm. Uber hot FBI partners with crazy dads.

Mmmmm.....

Little Ms J said...

I've never really had a TV addiction. Mine is strictly internet, however, if someone took a sledge hammer to my modem you would have a murder to solve with your partner and then a brand new spin off hospital drama. I'd play the lady in the psych ward with the shakes and an extreme case of paranoia.

christine said...

LOL!!!!!!!!! I just love your blog!!!

Sarah said...

Hahaha! You know, I think I've failed because I only recognize #2. I have guesses about the others but nothing concrete.

PS: Let me know where you finally find your motivation because I've lost mine too. I found a knock-off version at this street vendor downtown but it's just not the same.

ElanaJ said...

For me, it's all reality TV. Dancing and Survivor and the Amazing Race. Holy lotta good TV.

Hope you find your motivation soon!

Dominique said...

Absolutely fricking hilarious. And you don't want to know how long it took me to figure out you weren't serious.

Rebecca Knight said...

Hello, my name is Becca, and I'm a Glee-aholic.

It's good to know I'm not alone out there. ;)

Hardygirl said...

Yeah. I've been selling bags of pot to my surgically enhanced friends and their husbands while trying to feed my family.

Hello, Netflix and Weeds reruns.

And, speaking of pushers . . . I think it was you girls who introduced me to HULU.

sf

Icy Roses said...

Is it sad that it took me 3 scenarios to figure out what you were talking about? I seriously thought you went to Italy for a second there, haha.

jessjordan said...

Okay, I seriously have no clue what number 1 is. Must be a well-kept secret. But damn ... who would've thought BOTH of our husbands were glee nerds and that we BOTH have really hot, creepy bad boy neighbors and vicious wild animals who dine on pretty girls?

I must say ... I thought you were moving out of that apartment building. I know I did. If so, maybe you wouldn't be a suspect in that crazy bitch's murder. I'm just sayin' ...

p.s. Tonight, I went to my parents wedding, only it got interrupted with news about some love child of theirs. i wanted to deck the pale chick who made up those lies, but I was afraid I'd smear my raccoon, total-rock star, heroin-chic makeup. Oh, and I also got imprinted with the mind of some slutty chick and a serial killer ... Talk about a busy evening! All play, no writing. It's a hard-knock life, what can I say ...

sunna said...

BWAH!

I do this with books. I don't have TV, so I dodged a bullet there, I guess. :)

(Though I still watch House MD online, because yum.)