Thursday, February 4, 2010

LiLa on Twilight the Movie

Well, last night was the big night. That's right. We watched the movie Twilight for the first time. We've read all the books, but after hearing terrible reviews of the movie itself we knew this was a feature film we had to watch in the privacy of our own home. I mean, what's the point of watching a bad movie if you can't mainline Diet Coke and Twizzlers with the option to replay scenes like Edward running up the mountain with Bella on his back over and over and over again. (We seriously almost peed our pants.)

As you can imagine we have a lot of commentary on the movie itself. We could literally go on for days. But in the interest of time we'll wrap this up with two things:

First off, the movie is AWESOMELY bad. Seriously. It's terrible in the best way possible. (We were officially hooked a mere 11 minutes 24 seconds in.)

And secondly....


P.S.
The winner of our signed ARC of THE NAUGHTY LIST is...

Anissa! Congratulations!!!

Everyone else needs to go order a copy today! Happy release day Suzanne!

64 comments:

Stephanie Thornton said...

Okay, that picture almost made me spit orange juice all over my computer.

I'm glad you enjoyed hating the movie- it's pretty darn bad!

Dara said...

Yes the movie is awesomely bad! And the second one is worse :P Especially when Alice has her "vision" of Bella being a vampire...oh my goodness I nearly died laughing.

And no, I didn't want to see the movie in the slightest, but my sis-in-law BEGGED me to go see it and I felt bad telling her no. Afterwards though, she said the only good thing about it was laughing.

Melissa Sarno said...

What is it about vampire themes that make things so awesomely kitschy? I actually went to see Dance of the Vampires with Michael Crawford on Broadway knowing it was going to be hilariously awful. It was a pretty good use of $20.

Shannon O'Donnell said...

I haven't read the books yet, so I'm avoiding the movies. Maybe that isn't such a bad thing. I do plan to read the books, though. I promise. :-)

Summer said...

They really butchered Jasper...poor guy. Ha! My friend and I took our husbands to see it, and it was a house full of laughs all around.

Kristi said...

That's hilarious. My friend and I had heard such awful things about it that we actually enjoyed it. We think Bella had something lodged in her eye for most of the movie because she blinked so much. Either that or she was trying to differentiate between her flat and slightly less flat affect.

Now you have to see New Moon!

Melissa said...

hahaha it's so true...Twilight was so bad, I had a seriously case of the giggles through the entire film. If you need a good laugh, check out Taylor Swift's parody on SNL called Firelight :)

Cole Gibsen said...

You must must MUST download the rifftrax for this movie, done by the Myster Science Theatre 3000 guys. OMG so hilarious! Don't believe me? Watch their sample: http://www.rifftrax.com/rifftrax/twilight

MeganRebekah said...

My little sister and I watched teh movies and giggled throughout them, until annoyed people pointed out that these weren't comedies. Um, aren't they?
There's no way we are supposed to take them seriously. How can you not laugh throughout most of it?

I think that, for me, the books are best within my head. When the words are spoken aloud, or the scenes acted out, everything is just soooo cheesy. Inside my head they're sweet and romantic. Outside my head they're a little scary. Which is odd, because usually that's in reverse....

Elana Johnson said...

ROTFL! That picture is beyond hilarious. I can't believe you guys hung out this long on seeing Twilight. That deserves an award right there!

Christina Lee said...

The second movie is actually way better, but Jasper is even WORSE in the second one (is that even possible?). That comparison is PERFECT!!!!

p.s. you replayed the running scene? for me it was the restaurant scene--what can I say: lame!

Alissa said...

Love the Beaker comparison, and really you are only just watching Twilight now? Usually I feel like the one that is behind the times.

Emily J. Griffin said...

Spider Monkey.

'Nuff said.

Patti said...

I went to the movie with my nieces and the scene when Bella walks into the Biology class room. Edward looks like he's going to throw up. The whole audience groaned.

Natalie Lloyd said...

This made my morning! :) I went with my two best friends back when it came out. I was unaware of the badness ... or we would have made it a cheap wine and Twizzlers night too. Oh my word, it was so funny. My brother went too and said it was the funniest movie he watched last year. My favorite parts are when he carries her on his back. And when she walks in the room and the fan blows her hair ... the face he makes. I could keep going, but I'll stop. (I cannot even imagine how the fourth book will translate to screen.)

Hardygirl said...

Hahahahaha!!

Yes. Awesomely bad. We saw it in the theatre and laughed SO hard the whole time (and teenage girls were throwing us evil looks the whole time).

The second movie is also bad--but NOT awesomely bad. Just bad.

sf

Melissa said...

I just read the book for the 4th time - THE FOURTH TIME! And I can't tell you how many times I've seen the movie. The movie, for me, is on the same level as all those Scream movies. You just have to appreciate the badness. Kristen Stewart's constant eye-fluttering totally bugs me, though!

I can't imagine how they'll make the 4th book into a movie.

Christine said...

Haha--I laughed my head off during the biology scene slo-mo fan blowing! And when they cut to the piano in the dark. Okay, for a lot of the movie. It was so funny. :)

T. Anne said...

Ha! I saw it Halloween night for the first (and last) time. I thought it akin to something you might put on in the background to have noise in the house.

Michelle McLean said...

LOL yeah, wasn't quite the masterpiece I'd hoped for :) I did enjoy the second one more, but yeah, I don't know what they are doing to poor Jasper :)

And I just watched the Rifftrax Cole mention - holy crap, I am so buying that. Just about peed my pants!

Nicole Ducleroir said...

Too funny! I'm late getting on the Twilight train, but I bought my ticket and starting the books. Beaker!! I loved him when I was a kid!

Dominique said...

Fabulous comparison.

Seriously, the real joy of the Twilight movie for me was seeing it with my twilight-addict friends and mocking.

Poor, Jasper, though. He didn't come off nearly so pained in the book.

Icy Roses said...

Hahahaha, this is the most amazing comparison ever. Almost as comparable in the hideousness that is Jasper's freeze-dried hair.

New Moon is basically as bad, except you get to stare at shirtless, tanned wolf-boys for 30 minutes, so that makes it probably a little bit more worth your time.

Jen said...

That's hilarious!!! I took the plunge and watched it, and couldn't have agreed more, it was so awful I couldn't look away!!!

Love the picture... couldn't be more true!!!

Yay for Anissa!!!! Yay for Suzanne! I plan on purchasing her book this week!!!

Kitty Moore said...

I think I am in the minority when I say that I just don't get why people love 'Twilight'! But I do love your blog...

Kitty x

Lou said...

Awesomely bad is exactly right. My reaction to the movie was similar to my love/hate relationship with the books... really it's more a of a "train wreck/can't look away" phenomenon. GAWD, don't even get me started. There's a lot of "Dammit Bella, go to college dumbass!" going on when I start talking about this.

sunna said...

Holy hell, that picture almost made me cry I laughed so hard.

I heard the movie was bad. I'm very glad it was bad enough to warrant a LiLa blog post. :)

Have you read Twilight in 15 Minutes? If not, you must. But warning, you may laugh so hard you ruin a keyboard and a pair of pants.

http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/19551.html

Krispy said...

To tell you the truth, I think my sister, Alz, and I were too hyped up for how awesomely bad the movie was going to be. It was funny, but hardly as LULZy as we imagined it'd be. We came out of it regretting the $6 we'd spent on it.

Didn't make the same mistake with New Moon. Watched that sucker NOT in theaters and gave ourselves a pat on the back for not wasting another $6. It had its LULZ moments but not as many as Twilight.

Frankie Diane Mallis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Frankie Diane Mallis said...

Now you must go to www.cleolinda.com and read her parody of the movie---you will LOVE it. Also, I wouldn't mind a 10 minute vlog where you just break the movie down and all your thoughts on it. Please? I'll send you cookies (real cookies with actual butter).

The running up the hill scene made me pee my pants too. It KILLS me.

Kristy said...

It's definitely a movie I love to hate. I love to hate it so much that I watched it three times... I think they release heroin into the air as the dvd plays...

Karen said...

LOL!

Yet I can't turn away from it. It's like a burning building.

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

Thank goodness I was not drinking my coffee because my comp screen did not need a shower.

In Twilight's defense I loved the books and liked the second movie...come on ladies werewolf's with no shirts...admit it or I will be blushing lol!

Lisa Desrochers said...

I refuse to watch the movies. I liked the books and refuse to ruin my "perfect" image of Edward with a visual of RPatz who, let's face it, is no Edward...

Rebecca Knight said...

AHAHAHAHA! My husband and I watched Twilight at home because we found a drinking game for it, and it was *still* bad (although awesomely fun!)

But, yeah. We couldn't look at Jasper's wide-eyed tremble-lipped stare without wanting to punch him in the face.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

*spews coffee* :D

Carolyn V. said...

Haa haa haa! ROFL.

So true, both the movie and the picture.

Jill Kemerer said...

Cringing right now because I haven't read the books or watched the movies. Maybe someday...

Donna Gambale said...

I'll second Frankie's request for a vlog review of Twilight. I seriously wish we lived closer so we could all hang out and laugh our asses off at the awesome badness.

Anissa said...

Dude! I had to click on my name to see if it was really me. LOL! I'm a winner! I'm a winner! OK, I'm taking a page out of Suzanne's book and doing my own brand of happy dance over here with Thing 2 and the puppy.

Whew! Now I'm all out of breath.

Thank you, ladies. You made my week. :)

Marsha Sigman said...

Hysterical! I had to stop for a minute to really figure out which one was Jasper. That is totally priceless.

You know I must see 'New Moon'. I refuse to see it at theaters but I have to see it when it comes out on dvd. Just to compare.

Heather said...

Bwahaha!!! This is definitely an example of a "so bad it's good" movie. Edward looks constipated the whole time. The second movie is maybe better, maybe worse.

beth said...

*dies laughing*

AWESOME PICTORIAL COMPARISON!

Mariah Irvin said...

I second Emily's spider monkey comment.

Katie said...

Love this post! Did it suck or what? I thought the second one was worse. I nearly died of boredom.

Erica said...

Yes Yes, it was awful, horrible and wonderful. Love the Beeker tie in - so funny! Strange how a move so bad could make me love it all at the same time... LOL

Congrats Anissa!

Abby Annis said...

Awesome post!! The sparkling scenes are the best. :D

Shannon Messenger said...

*Dies laughing* I feel EXACTLY the same way. It's like...I SHOULDN'T be enjoying this. But I am. But it's so bad. But I have to keep watching. But...

Just wait till you see New Moon...

Brigitte said...

I will never watch the Muppets the same way again!! Hahahaha!
I loved Jasper in the books, but the actor in the films made him so dull - just like everyone else. I guess he didnt want to outshine the main "stars".

By the way, Lisa & Laura, I don't think I thanked you yet for following my little (well, compared to yours!) blog. So thank you! I really appreciate it. C:

Anyway, I always thought the Twilight movies were made a by a bunch of bored college students.
And worse part? They decided to dump their shit on our land! I just hope our Canadian hospitality was cold enough for them that they won't want to shoot here again after Twilight... >3
We'll send out moose to attack them or something XD

Anyway, I'm glad you had fun despite the sacrifices! :p

xoxoxo
looking-glass-fables.blogspot.com

Jemi Fraser said...

I love Beaker :)

I still haven't read Twilight. And I can't watch it until I read it. Personal rule! Love your review :)

Lori W. said...

All in favor of a vlog review, say aye. You'll enjoy the second movie even more . . .

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

I was watching this during a class for my asbestos testing certification (I'm a bad student).... When I suddenly blurted out, 'Are they playing VAMPIRE BASEBALL?'

lexcade said...

nothing to do with this post. AT ALL.

i was reading some of your old posts and found one about the hotel and dateline. and after i laughed and shook my head, i thought i should inform you that i at least know the comforters at ye olde hampton inn are in fact cleaned daily. there's always a massive stash in the laundry room. as for the rest of it, well... it's all up to the housecleaning staff. our hskp manager is a nazi, tho. so it should be good. ;-)

Lisa Marie said...

it does hook you from the get go doesn't it!

jessjordan said...

Bahahahahahahahahahahaha. I keep looking at the pictures and dying. DY. ING.

Twilight = awesome badness at its finest. Other awesomely bad moments (as in, my sister and I burst into fits of laughter in the midst of screaming teenagers): when he called her spidermonkey; when she walked into the classroom and the fan blew her hair and he looked all creepy constipated; and ... edward, the sparkle pixie with the skin of a monster!

Melissa said...

OMG that picture!!! Everyone in my house is asleep and I'm TRYING not to wake them up right now!!! But I can't stop looking at that picture:)

Girl with One Eye said...

Your picture...hilarious. I loved the first movie. Second movie, horrid. Too bad.

Sarah said...

Hahahaha! I knew you would appreciate the artistic genius/comic gift that is Twilight the movie! Awesome.

And congrats Anissa! :)

Lunar Amyscope said...

Oh LiLa, how you amuse me so.

I love how the CG was soooo bad while he was running with Bella on his back that they actually tried to point out how silly it looked to make it okay. I think the line is something like, 'Come here, you lil spider monkey.' Or something of that sort.

Kimberly Derting said...

What's really sad is that no matter how bad it was, I still liked it. And would watch it again. *sigh*

But that picture...OMG, you two crack me the hell up!

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Hahahahaha!!! Love that. Seriously bad in the best way...oh my word, you ladies crack me up.

Did you try the twizzlers in the pinot? No? Shame, shame. I'm telling you, it's a beautiful thing.

Sarah said...

Agreed it was awesomely bad. I mean when i saw it in the theather I had no idea I was going to a comedy. I laughed so hard. But it was entertaining.

Christina Farley said...

I love twizzlers. The movie, well, it was what I expected it to be.

SB said...

HA HA HA! Now 'me me, me me' is stuck in my head!