Friday, October 15, 2010

I'M BACK

Ok, ok, I'm not officially back, but I'm getting there. I still spend about 75% of my day changing diapers and trying to protect poor Ben from his insanely enthusiastic and extremely clumsy older siblings.

Here's what I've learned so far on my maternity leave:
  • Best shows to watch during late night feedings: Cheaters and Jackass. They're always on at 3 AM and they're just as (if not MORE) entertaining without volume.
  • Baby blues are so last season, I've got baby bitchface: Yeah, so I've been a little crabby lately. This might have something to do with the fact that I'm operating on an average of 4 hours of sleep a night and I'm shoehorning myself into clothes that are at least three sizes too small. It's really hard to smile when the waistband of your yoga pants are cutting off your air supply. Anyway, Laura has been giving me a hard time and quickly responding to any and all e-mails that come in because she claims my negativity isn't productive. I'd argue that while my negativity isn't productive, it's at least entertaining.
  • This picture really makes me want to kill someone. Seriously, if I met Gisele in person at this point in my life I'd like to think I'd be able to snap her in half or if she manages to take me down with her sweet kung fu moves, at least force feed her a cheeseburger.
  • I'm irrationally angry with my husband. No good reason, really. He's just around a lot and it's kind of fun to unleash the brunt of my hormones on him from time to time.  It's my birthday this weekend and I've given him just enough rope to hang himself with. Anyone want to take bets on whether or not he buys me a pair of skinny jeans in a size 2 or a bikini? Based on his gift giving history this might end in divorce.
  • Ben's theme song has revealed itself: Ok, this is totally lame, but all of my kids have a theme song. It's a random song that brings back fond memories of me blasting it in the car in order to drown out their incessant crying. (Feel free to mail in my nomination for Mother of the Year right now) Without further ado, Ben's song*:
  • I'm thisclose to taking the blog back: Yeah, that's right Laura and Lisa Writes is going DOWN. Well, it's totally going down once I figure out how to type on my laptop and feed Ben at the same time. I swear I'm like a week off from getting my technique totally perfected. Watch your back, Laura.
So...that's what I've been up to the past couple of weeks. I miss all of you desperately and I can't wait to get back into the swing of things. Ben is gorgeous and I'm loving every second of my time with him, but I'm excited to get back to my old, compulsive self. Soon enough. 

In the meantime...I've got important business to take care of...

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

*Please note, we only listen to the edited version of this song while driving carpool. No need to call child services. Yet.

PS: Thanks for the interview, Katrina!

35 comments:

Julia Karr said...

Ha! But, yeah... that last pic says it all! What a sweetie!

Liza said...

Even though I laughed through this post, it's Ben's picture that touches the heart.

Matthew Rush said...

Why am I not surprised that this post is a little longer than most of late?

BTW Kylie has read 3 of the 4 ARCs. She is still writing her reviews but we'll be emailing you soon.

Have a great weekend Lila, and Ben, and siblings, and hubbies!

Katie said...

aww. Precious... Thanks for the update, and I love that song!

Creepy Query Girl said...

Oohhh- never heard this song; Not living under rock. Just in france. Almost the same thing...anyway your little guy is ADORABLE!! So cute it almost makes me want to have another..I said almost. And I totally get the 'hating on hubby hormones'. I think they have a more official name but that's what I call 'em. Go get some sleep!

Stina Lindenblatt said...

I feel your pain. Less than four hours of sleep isn't good for anyone. I once ordered pizza so the delivery man would bring me a 2 L bottle of Diet Coke. I was that desperate for the caffeine. ;)

Have a great weekend!

Mariah Irvin said...

Little Lion Man is my ring tone! ABSOLUTE LOVE. I hope your birthday weekend goes well :)

Corey Schwartz said...

Oh, what a cutie. Seems you have lost your touch on the blogging front. This post cracked me up.

Jess said...

Your baby is precious and Gisele is an alien life form :)

Kimberly Derting said...

I love that your kids have theme songs, you get my MOTY nom just for that. And I was a post-partum crier; bitchy would have been much more satisfying...for me at least.

And Ben is insanely gorgeous! Enjoy your time off, Laura and Lisa can wait a little while longer ;)

K. M. Walton said...

I thought I was the only dork to have kid theme songs. Yay. Mumford and Sons rule BTW.

So glad to hear you are on your way back to blogworld.

Pam Torres said...

Little Ben is definitely a keeper.(Way up there on the cute scale. I don't hand those out willy- nilly) Thank goodness they are so cute. Otherwise, they'd just be a noisy,stinky bundle of orneriness. (FYI: The stinky noisy part never goes away. Orneriness returns at 13.)

Caroline Starr Rose said...

He's so beautiful. Get yourself some big ol' Walmart sweats to sit around in. :)

Laura Marcella said...

Awww, baby Ben is so sweet! (Because he's sleeping, lol!)

I just went back and read that Christmas gift post. Too funny! I give my husband a list he can pick things from. Not my idea- his. Buying gifts stresses him out. He always gets me a surprise though, and he's actually pretty good!
Except for the year we were 18: he gave me this beautiful, shiny red box, which clearly had something fabulous inside. I opened it and at the bottom was only a note that said this: "You thought there would be something in here. Haha!" Every now and then I bring it up. I may laugh, but really I mean his surprises had better have at least a LOVE note in a pretty box!

~Jamie said...

HAH! I remember how hard it was to learn to laptop during late night feedings. It's so boring all alone like that though--I mean, I KNOW you're supposed to be bonding and whatever, but you can only do so much of that at 4am.

That's when my World of Warcraft obsession began--gamers NEVER sleep. :)

SWK said...

Great-lookin' kid! Lovely to hear from you. Happy birthday. And best of luck to your husband :) - Stasia

Shannon Whitney Messenger said...

Every time I see him I go all gooey and just wanna say AWWWWWW and nuzzle his nose. Then again, he's quiet in the pictures. ;)

Glad to hear you're doing well Lisa!

Samantha VĂ©rant said...

Sorry, Giselle is looking a bit too THIN. Must be tough being a super model who makes millions and million and millions a year. We're so taking her down. Boxing gloves on. And Baby Ben! Wow. Big kisses.

Elana Johnson said...

Oh, I love your baby to bits and pieces. And I love the word "shoehorning." That is too funny.

Katrina L. Lantz said...

Aww, how adorable are those baby pics! Welcome back, Lisa! And congratulations on such a beautiful little guy (with equally adorable nickname potential, per Laura). You guys are the coolest!

Marsha Sigman said...

He is SOOO cute. I could just squish him!lol

I LOVE that song. I'm about two seconds away from ditching everything to become a groupie. Or at least googling the crap out of them.

I missed you! But I have to admit Laura is pretty damn funny.

One last thing. Does it disturb you at all that Gisele's baby's butt is bigger than her's? Something just isn't right about that.

Jen Daiker said...

Too adorable!!! Ben that is... not Gisele, who is nightmare skinny with a naked baby and talking about a breastfeeding law.

A supermodel wanting to live on a farm? Seriously?! (I have way to much time on my hands today)

lotusgirl said...

Glad you're on your way back. Love the pic. What a cutie.

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

That is such an AWEsome song. I'm looking at Ben's picture, listening to it...it takes me back to the days of listening to music with my babies. I was obsessed with Iz's Somewhere Over the Rainbow. Used to sob to it.

What a precious little bundle. He looks like you! The hard part will be over soon enough. You'll be back to your old self and your old jeans before you know it. It's always hard at first so that when it's over, you truly appreciate how great you've got it. Until then, drink a little wine. A lot maybe.

Amy Lukavics said...

O..m...g... I LOVE THAT SONG SO MUCH. Seriously. Huge thumbs up.

Also, after I had Lily the lack of sleep made me go seriously insane. I can't imagine how you do it with other kids. You're Super Mom!!

Have a Happy Birthday and don't forget the Twizzlers.

Sara B. Larson said...

Holy crap, no kidding about that picture! I can't believe she's holding a naked baby at the beach. Seriously.

Ha ha, okay, I'm just kidding. Sheesh, no one should be allowed to look like that with a baby. Maybe if we team tag her we can take her down.

Your little guy is adorable! And I'm sure you actually look fabulous.

Dianne K. Salerni said...

OH! What a face! What sweet cheeks -- and those lips, blowing milk bubbles when he's awake, I bet. :)

As for Giselle, surely she paid somebody to have that baby for her.

Or paid a doctor to vacuum her body out afterwards.

Nicole Zoltack said...

What an adorable little baby! I just want to pinch Ben's little cheeks.

Don't even get me started on Gisele. People like her make me sick. I lost all of my pregnancy weight from son #2 (he's a little over 2 months), but considering that I weighed 25 pounds heavier than I wanted to be when I got pregnant, I still have a ways to go. And these pounds are sticking to me like glue. *sigh* If I had more sleep, I'd have more energy and get on the exercise bike. It's a vicious cycle.

And happy birthday!

Natalie said...

Um, I'm laughing so hard, because of course I am in your exact same state right now. I especially enjoyed the "shoehorning myself into clothes" comment. I've been ready to just cut the angry stabbing waistbands out of all of my jeans.

Giselle! *shakes fist*

My birthday is this weekend too and so far my husband is off to a dismal start. He brought home a junk car to "fix up" without telling me. So now we're going to be the ghetto neighbors with the car on cinderblocks. Not a good birthday surprise.

But your baby is darling! At least having a cute baby makes it all worth it, right?

lexcade said...

aww lisa, he's beautiful!

i hope your birthday goes better than you think. try giving hubby the benefit of the doubt. who knows? maybe he'll get you a huge bag of twizzlers ;)

Jemi Fraser said...

He's totally adorable and worth all the hormones raging! Enjoy your birthday & the multi-tasking :)

Erica M. Chapman said...

Awwww. He's so cute!! Oh I love that song. I'm a huge Mumford & Sons fan ;o)

I hope you have a great birthday!!

Ah, you look so much better than Gisele. She's too skinny. Seriously! Yuck.

Happy to see you back! We enjoyed Laura too ;o) You guys are so funny.

Mike said...

Perfect song for baby Ben...and grandpa too!

Katrina L. Lantz said...

Aww, just saw the interview shout out. Thank YOU for the awesome interview! I am really excited about THE LIAR SOCIETY (when do we get to see the cover?) and WriteOnCon's continuing contributions to the writing community. If anybody belongs on a blog dubbed Operation Awesome, it's you guys!

Happy Wednesday!

Kelly H-Y said...

Oh my goodness ... he's beautiful! Sorry I'm so behind in expressing my congratulations to you! I had to chuckle about the 3 AM tv comment ... I remember actually getting excited when baby #2 got up at the 'right time' in the middle of the night, so I could catch some great shows. I was less excited once I was off maternity leave, however!