Thursday, June 30, 2011

Bookanistas: Are You Going To Kiss Me Now?

Before we begin, I'd like to state for the record that there is absolutely no way I'll be able to do this book justice. My reviews are just never that good. Just know this will be the funniest book you will read all year. I say that with the utmost confidence. Moving on...

What the back cover has to say:

Being marooned on an island somewhere off the coast of Madagascar with five celebrities sounds romantic and glamorous, right?


Wrong.

You couldn't find people with fewer survival skills if you tried. Seriously. Cisco may have centerfold abs, but he can't even spell SOS. At least super-sexy Jonah seems to have a clue (too bad about the purity ring). If I'm stuck here much longer, these self-involved head cases might drive me crazy-assuming they don't insult each other to death first. It's like a group therapy edition of Survivor.

At this point, I'm pretty convinced that all celebrities should be caged in Hollywood and confined to the pages of US magazine. And, btw, if you're there, God, it's me, Francesca, and I really want to go home.

Help!

What Lila has to say:

Oh, you guys, this book was written for us. And it pretty much cemented the fact that we need to become best friends with Sloane Tanen because she is freaking HILARIOUS. I can't count the number of times I laughed out loud--many times with tears in my eyes. And I think things are funny, but rarely do I ever think things are this funny. It's on the same level of Lisa and I seeing Bridesmaids and crying because we laughed so hard. But do not be mistaken. This book isn't just made up of hilarious one-liners. There's a solid plot, which keeps the pages turning (I mean, how are they going to make it through this???) and extremely well-fleshed out characters (some you might recognize from Us Magazine) especially one incredibly witty, red-headed main character, Fransesca, who has the ability to send the best text messages EVA throughout the course of the book.

Exhibit A: When is my mother going to LEAVE??? She's so obviously stalling. Next she'll ask me if I have a boyfriend or if I'm doing drugs. Isn't it obvious that I'll never have a boyfriend? And wouldn't I be in a good mood at least some of the time if I were doing drugs?
 
Page marked, line read aloud to Lisa who wants to kill me because I keep taunting her with the hilarity. The premise is what also launches this book into best-book-ever land. Fransesca manages to get herself stranded on an island with celebrities. For us Us Magazine-obsessed nobodies, this is best case scenario. And then comes her hilarious descriptions of said celebrities.
 
Exhibit B: A moment later I heard a loud crash. As I opened the lavatory door, in the aisle, sprawled out on the floor in front of me was what I assumed was Milan Anderson. She was facedown, encircled by long, fried platinum hair. From where I was standing, I could see a good two inches of dark brown roots. She was wearing leggings, a fur vest, and three-inch heels, one of which was broken off and in her left hand. The contents of her bag were splayed all over the place: pills, gum, little bottles of vodka, tampons, an iPod, a latex glove, Purell, two half-empty water bottles, condoms, three tabloids (two of which she was on the cover of), a few loose cigarettes, a lunch cup of tapioca pudding, cereal, mascara, an umbrella, a few stray credit cards, receipts, super glue, and about fifteen dollars in loose change.
 
I mean...COME. ON. Just take my word for it. Buy the book. You'll die laughing. It is the absolute perfect summer read and I've already purchased this for multiple friends as it has huge crossover appeal. If you are even semi-interested in the insane lives of celebrities (especially making fun of them) or reality TV, you need this book. Once you have it, please, please, please email us with your favorite lines. They are just begging to be discussed.



Check out what the other Bookanistas are up to this week!


Elana Johnson
 adores A Need So Beautiful
LiLa Roecker is gaga for Are You Going to Kiss Me Now?
Christine Fonseca interviews YA Fiction for Dummies author Deborah Halverson – with giveaway
Beth Revis interviews A Scary Scene in a Scary Movie author Matt Blackstone
Carolina Valdez Miller is wowed by Wildfire – with giveaway
Shana Silver gushes over Hourglass
Jen Hayley delves into Divergent
Rosemary Clement-Moore thinks Chime is divine
Stasia Ward Kehoe has applause for Trauma Queen
P.S. Be sure to join The Bookanista Book Club over at The Reading Room. We're going to be working very closely with them to bring you even more Bookanista awesomeness that you will not want to miss.

11 comments:

Matthew MacNish said...

Cisco? Like the thong song guy? Or the cheap malt liquor?

Paula said...

I'm convinced!!! Can't wait to read and LOL.

Kelly Lyman said...

SOLD! THanks for the review!

Jen Daiker said...

The name alone made me stop in and the cover art is perfect! I AM SO READING THIS!

Christine Fonseca said...

Awesome! Now I have to add yet another book to my TBR pile.

Marsha Sigman said...

I think I had a dream about this before...

But it sounds awesome and I would love to know how it turned out!

Stasia said...

Okay, this one I've gotta read!

Jacqueline Howett said...

I'll put in on my list- thanks!

Have a great 4th of July weekend.

Krispy said...

The cover doesn't really do anything for me, but the blurb and your review make me want to read it. It sounds hilarious!

Carolina Valdez Miller said...

Must read this. Thanks for the rec--hadn't heard of it before now. But how could I pass up a book this funny? But just for the record, TLS was pretty dang funny and had an amazing plot. It's hard to top. Just sayin.

lostinbelieving said...

Oh my god. I was literally in the bookstore a few days ago and was going to buy this book but at the last minute didn't. Ugh, I should have! I'm a huge fangirl! Haha I'm definitely going to check it out now! Awesome review!

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