The two times a week that our local paper is delivered, my husband and I fight over the pages. Well, one page in particular. The Police Reports. There is always at least one blurb that makes us laugh out loud and a few that go down in history.
Here's our favorite from this week...
A Lakedge Court resident said he heard suspicious yelling nearby Sept. 7. The resident said a female yelled, "Go, go, go!" loudly, which sounded to him like an argument that was escalating. Police discovered a woman urging her reluctant dog to go outside in the rain, according to the police report.
And here are the two that go down in history from last year...
A 26-year-old woman summoned police Oct. 22 after she spotted a large spider on the dashboard of her vehicle at 2:52 p.m. The driver immediately pulled off Darrow Road and called 911 for an officer's assistance, according to police records.
The officer reported the female was standing at the roadside on Darrow Road with all the doors on her vehicle ajar. The woman said the spider was most likely poisonous since it was yellow and black. She said it was first observed on her dashboard and last seen crawling underneath her driver's seat. The officer did not find the spider after a thorough search.
The officer reassured the woman that the spider probably was not poisonous, and she left the scene without incident, according to police reports.
And our number one fave. Drum roll please...
A Sullivan Road resident called police to report a "suspicious package" on his front porch Nov. 2 at 3:20 p.m. The resident said he observed an unknown person leave the package and called police, according to the police report. The officer said he could see the package was clearly labeled with the Amazon.com logo and asked the man if he had ordered anything from the firm recently.
The man reportedly said "Why yes, I did."
The officer told the resident his order had arrived. The resident then said he was comfortable opening the box. The officer then left the scene, according to the report.
We're almost postive the reporters at the paper choose the most ridiculous ones to print. They must have so much fun at work.