This just in!

Thanks to loyal blog reader, Sarah, I just found out that Lipstick Jungle might be saved! Either that or Brooke Shields is having some sort of psychological break. Either way, it's all very exciting.

Check out this article for all the deets.

Some things that concern me:

1. Fans are sending tubes of lipstick!? How did I not know about this effort?


2. Umm...really Brooke, you think the show is #1 as far as DVR ratings go? I'm no genius with the Nielsens, but somehow that doesn't seem remotely possible.


3. Public outcry? Really? That seems to be a little bit overstated, don't you think? I mean, how much lipstick are we really talking here?
   

Well, regardless, this could be good news for the 10 of us out there actually watching this trainwreck of a show. I mean seriously, can you imagine a life without seeing Kirby sans shirt at least once a week? That guy is unbelievable.

Overeager much?

Just re-read what I thought was a request for our full manuscript yesterday, but in retrospect I'm 99% sure that the agent was really just telling us that she was excited to read the 3 chapters that were already attached.


Ahh...our complete lack of experience and our overenthusiastic tendencies surface once again. Well, she's got the full manuscript now, and no one can ever accuse us of apathy.


What can we say, we love our work and we'll find a way to get you to read it....one way or the other. Agents beware: Show even an inkling of interest and you too will have our full manuscript in your inbox in 5 minutes or less.

The art of procrastination...

Yeah, I'm procrastinating. I have a ton of work, all of which has to be done tonight, but I'm just not in the mood...

So, a few things I've learned while procrastinating:

1. Laura and I are super cute. I created little avatars for us...see! Yeah, I'm desperate for something to do that isn't related to M&A consulting, ok?

2. I hate the term "ack!" Whenever anyone writes it in an e-mail or posts it on a board it makes me cringe. Totally reminds me of when Andy Samberg does his Cathy the Comic Strip bit on SNL.

3. 30 is the new 15. Here, I was worried about wrinkles and suddenly I have a huge zit on my cheek. It's official, I'm Angela Chase. So, here I am, maroon hair, random zit on my cheek, really the only thing that would make my adult onset adolescence more real would be if I had either picture day or prom tomorrow. I wonder if Ricky has any concealer I can borrow?

Ok, I'm off to go pick a huge fight with my mom and get grounded. Ooh, better yet, maybe I'll sneak out to go see Jordan Catalano sing "I Wanna be Sedated." God, I'm so moody and filled with angst. I'm totally ditching my conference calls tomorrow to hang out with Rayanne.

Random Monday Musings...

I didn't have time for my random thoughts post last night, so had to push off until today. I'm sort of happy because now I get to use alliteration in my title, and I adore alliteration. Ok, I just re-read that last sentence and realized that I'm the biggest dork ever, and for the record, I'm totally ok with that. Onward.

• Justin Timberlake has better legs than me...ouch. Did you see him in that Beyonce skit on SNL? Pretty funny.
• I'm officially sick of seeing Denny show up as a ghost on Grey's Anatomy. I love Denny, but enough already, he's dead.
• I have no motivation to do anything today, which is really, really bad because I have lots of work to do.
• I watched the interview with the Obamas last night and I had a goofy smile on my face the whole time. They just represent such hope and they're so relatable. I especially love hearing stories about how they operate as parents. I am so excited for him to officially take office and can't wait to see all of the positive change that he brings to our country, because we really need it.
• Jack woke up this morning and ran into my room screaming "Mommy, it's winter time! It's winter time!" We got our first snow last night and he was so excited. Tough not to be in a good mood with a wake-up like that.
• The decline of our economy is so depressing and every day that I read another article in the paper about how we're in the midst of an Economic Armageddon I can't help but wonder if the media is doing more harm than good with all of their economic coverage. The reality is that in order for the economy to turn around people need to spend more, but when we're constantly faced stories about the end of capitalism as we know it shoved down our throats, no one wants to spend a dime. My family is a great example, at this point Ken and I are both gainfully employed (thank God), but even though our income levels haven't changed, lately I've stopped spending the way I normally do, and I imagine other people are doing the same. Not good. One of my hopes for Obama taking office is that he'll increase consumer confidence and things will finally start to turn around. Wow, deep thoughts for a Monday, huh?

For the love of Jen...

Dear Ms. Aniston,

So, it's been a while. I saw you in that horrible Vince Vaughan movie and after that I just sort of felt like we needed a break, you know? I mean you were cute, but whiny, and the whole movie was a little depressing, particularly given the fact that you had recently gone through such a public (and sort of humiliating) break-up yourself. It was just a little soul-crushing, ok?

Anyways, lately you're turning up everywhere. I saw you on Oprah and was entranced by your shiny, golden highlights. You seemed so happy, so balanced, so TONED, and I sort of wanted to touch your hair. Even when you said soiree incorrectly and Oprah corrected you, I admit, I laughed a little bit, but I totally forgave you because you were so glowy, and I really, really, loved your boots. Anyways, Marley and Me looks fabulous. SO not depressing. Just watching clips made me go out and buy the book. Such is the power of Aniston.

And then to top it all off you show up on one of my fave shows, and are totally funny and cute. So, yeah, I love you again. Girl crush ON. I'm sure you're totally relieved.

XOXO,
Lisa

P.S. Now that we're besties again, do a girl a solid and text me the name of your plastic surgeon. The dude is a miracle worker. Seriously, you look amazing and I'm sure 99% of it involves you working your ass off, but the oh-so subtle work done on your face is a masterpiece. Well played nameless plastic surgeon. Well played indeed.

RIP Lipstick Jungle

I remember the day when I heard that Darren Starr and Candace Bushnell were creating competing television shows. Apparently, it was supposed to be one fabulous show when the two were living together, but then they stopped living together and suddenly we had two pilots marketed as Sex in the City for network television. I couldn't wait to watch either show, but initially I ended up on team Cashmere Mafia. Pat Fields did the wardrobe for the show and Lucy Liu had some really horrible/fabulous ensembles a la Carrie Bradshaw. Plus I found all of the characters surprisingly entertaining. Of course, it turns out I was one of 5 people watching the show and it got cancelled about half-way through it's premier.

Anyways, I was sort of forced onto the Lipstick Jungle bandwagon. Initially Brooke Shield's constant pinched expressions freaked me out a little bit and Andrew McCarthy's shrunken, wrinkled face made me want to re-watch Pretty in Pink. But this season they must have given Brooke some Xanax and Andrew a mini-face lift because I found myself sort of loving the show. And all for naught when they cancelled it yesterday.

Hmm...looks like a spot on my esteemed TiVo list has opened up, anyone have any suggestions on how to fill it?

10 Reasons I'm pissed off today...

10. My hair is still maroon looking and I get a lot of puzzled "compliments" along the lines of "Oh, you changed your hair. That's fun. It's so different." Awkward.

9. I forgot my flip flops in my gym bag today, so I had to shower barefoot. (Did you hear something? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that was my mother shrieking in terror as she's reading this) Sure, I could have just skipped my shower, but it came down to a choice between risking some sort of foot fungus or showering and getting ready with Jack and Mia clawing at each other inside the bathroom the entire time. I truly believe I chose the lesser of two evils here.

8. I have to write something about how the economic environment should inspire you to buy human resource effectiveness consulting. Any ideas? Yeah, me neither.

7. Don't tell Laura, but it's possible that I sent a partial requested by a HUGE agent to the wrong e-mail address. I know, I know, but it's not as bad as it sounds. They have two e-mail addresses, one for queries and one for requests and I mistakenly responded to her e-mail requesting, so it went to the wrong address. At least it was only sent a couple of days ago...*ducks*

6. We're in the process of editing the book based on some suggestions we've received from agents that want us to resubmit and they have significantly improved the book. So frustrating that we have all of these fulls and partials out to agents that are the old version. I'm officially depressed.

5. Have you heard? The publishing industry is about to implode. I'm so happy we chose right this moment to attempt to get our first novel published. Awesome timing.

4. Mia just woke up from her nap. She slept approximately 45 minutes. Ouch.

3. I'm tired and crabby. I've been staying up late to work on edits and do actual work for my actual job (ha!). I know I need to go to bed earlier, but there never seems to be enough hours in the day...Sure, I could cut out tv, but what is a life without tv? A life without the emaciated cast of 90210 and that uber annoying new NARC character? A life without another episode where nothing happens on the Hills? A life with out the Real Housewives of Atlanta and the crazy country singing lady who spelled cat "k-a-t?" No thank you.

2. My house looks like a bomb went off in it and I have no desire to clean up at all. I wonder if other moms go through phases where they just don't feel like doing mom stuff AT ALL. I'm so sick of going to the grocery store, cooking dinner, picking up toys, breaking up fights, doing laundry and etc. When we were little Laura and I would talk about my mom behind her back, wondering why she was always in a bad mood and trying to figure out why she had kids in the first place. In retrospect, she had a full-time job and 3 daughters calling her throughout her entire workday screaming things like "Laura dumped my entire underwear drawer out the window!" and "Stacey ate the entire box of Ho-Ho's in one sitting and now there's no food." Karma is a bitch.

1. Our inbox is remaining stubbornly empty and it's driving me slowly insane. DAMN YOU HOTMAIL. DAMN YOU TO HELL.

End rant.

Chuck you...

Sadly, Gossip Girl was a little light on the Chuck Bass this week, and that made me feel a little empty inside. Empty like our damn inbox, but I digress...

This week Chuck said the most shocking word I've ever heard him utter on the show:

"Please."

Forced to beg Dan Humphries to save his family. Ouch. But hey, at least he got a hockey game with his dad out of it. Awww...I love little rich boys with Daddy issues.

TV Slut Says...

I've decided to start a new feature on our blog where I tell all of 3 of my loyal blog readers what they should be watching on tv. As you all know, I watch pretty much everything and I think we can all agree that my standards aren't high. However, I know good tv when I see it, so let me help you program your DVR. I promise not to let you down.

So, for my inaugural TV Slut Says here are the Top 10 Reasons You Should be Watching "How I Met Your Mother" every Monday night at 8:30 EST on CBS.

10. The dad from the "Wonder Years" was on tonight's episode, and seriously, who doesn't love the "Wonder Years"?

9. Robin Sparkles. They make fun of Canadians regularly. If there is one thing that is always guaranteed to make me laugh it's Canadian jokes. I honestly can't tell you why, I don't even know any Canadians personally, but I've always found it hilarious. Anyways, when they made Robin Scherbotzky a former Canadian 80's pop princess who dated another Canadian pop star, played by the one and only James Van Der Beek (yeah you know the guy from Dawson's Creek with the insanely large noggin?), they earned their TiVo season pass. The music videos alone are worth your viewing pleasure. Click here and here to see what I mean.

8. Marshall's hair. Not sure what's going on with his hair this season, but it's riveting. Umm...producers, can we please fix this? Marshall is way too cool for a mullet/combover and yet I sort of love it. I apologize that I can't find a picture to sufficiently illustrate just how bad this hair is, so you'll just have to watch and see for yourself.

7. It's a sitcom! And when is the last time you watched a real sitcom with a laugh track and everything (and no, Seinfeld and Friends re-runs do NOT count)? Honestly, the laugh track threw me off a little bit at first. You don't realize it, but very few shows have laugh tracks anymore. Anyways, I love that it's a 30-minute show that requires very little thought, but is still fun and witty.

6. Bob Sagat is the voice of the Dad. The whole premise of the show is that a father is telling his kids all about how he met their mother, so every week is a new story about his life in NYC in his late 20's early 30's and they all lead up to the big reveal. The voice of the grown up dad is Bob Sagat and he like knows the Olsen Twins PERSONALLY, not to mention Uncle Jesse and Uncle Joey.

5. It's a mystery...well, it's sort of a mystery anyways. Basically, everyone is always trying to guess who the mother is and we get little clues every now and then and it's really fun I promise. The mom has a yellow umbrella and is not Robin. Uhh, not that I'm keeping track or anything.

4. It's based on a true story. One of the writers is Marshall! No, not the actor who plays Marshall, but the actual guy. He based the character off of himself and that means that all of the Marshall/Lily stuff actually happened. They are such a cute couple and I love knowing that some version of them actually exists in real life.

3. This show made me cry and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Ok, fine, I was sort of ashamed to admit it, but still...Suffice it to say, that there are lots of Ross and Rachel type moments in the show that would make people like my mom really happy.

2. Barney Stinson. Barney is hands-down the best comedic character on tv. Screw Dwight Schrute. Suck it Ari Gould. I'm Team Barney all the way. In tonight's episode alone Barney taught us about something called the "cheerleader effect" defined as the phenomenon of girls out in a group always looking attractive, but take the girl out of the group and she's a dog. Seriously, it's inspired. He then creates "Not A Father's Day" when he finds out that he didn't knock-up one of his one night stands. This led to him giving Marshall a "Thai you would actually wear" in celebration. Comedic. Genius.

1. Neil Patrick-Harris. Ok, so technically he's the actor who plays Barney, so this is sort of cheating. However, he's so awesome that he truly deserves to be mentioned twice. This is the man that brought us Doogie Howser M.D. The man who did the funniest cameo I've ever seen in a movie. In Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, he was snorting lines of coke off hookers and using his Doogie status to steal cars. Legen....wait for it....wait for it....dary!

Random thoughts on a Sunday...

* I hate the word haunches.

* Has everyone watched Grey's? I just watched it last night and I can't believe this was Dr. Hahn's last episode. Rumors abound that ABC was hating the whole lesbian storyline and decided to make some changes. I really hope that's not true and I'm tempted to remove Grey's from my sacred TiVo list now that they've pulled a stunt like this. I, personally, was loving the Dr. Hahn/Callie storyline and I'm really pissed off that they've presumably left so much up in the air with the two of them. If last Thursday was her last show, does her car explode or something? I'm seriously annoyed. There better be an influx of gay doctors stat, or else Grey's will soon be suffering the same fate as Ugly Betty and Heroes and will be blacklisted from this TV slut's TiVo.

* Anyone else watching Life on Mars? It's like Lost meets CSI meets Dazed and Confused and I'm digging it...

* On a scale of 1-10 how bad do you think it is that I accidentally spilled wine on one of the moms from Jack's preschool class last night? My wild hand gesturing grows exponentially with each glass of wine I drink. Oh well, at least no one can accuse me of not being fun.

* I'm reading The Luxe and it's absolutely fabulous. It's official, I'm a 16-year-old, Gossip Girl obsessing, Hills watching, Luxe reading, teeny bopper stuck in the body of a 30-year-old woman with Angela Chase's hair. Now, if only this hair color guaranteed me a shot with Jordan Catalano...

* Speaking of my hair, every time I log into the blog I'm totally distracted by the picture I posted to show off it off. I look like Marilyn Manson or something. V. disturbing. Wondering why this is such a long post? I'm hoping to push that thing further down the page so I don't have to look at it anymore. Also, the hair is so NOT fading. Let's just say the kids won't have problems finding a crayon that matches mommy's hair anymore.

Lots on the TiVo to catch-up on tonight, so you may be hearing more from me later.

My so-called hair

A pic for my loyal blog readers. It's even more red in person. Shocking.

I look like Claire Danes circa My So-Called Life. Teenage angst is so last season, especially when you're 30.