Saturday, November 15, 2008

For the love of Jen...

Dear Ms. Aniston,

So, it's been a while. I saw you in that horrible Vince Vaughan movie and after that I just sort of felt like we needed a break, you know? I mean you were cute, but whiny, and the whole movie was a little depressing, particularly given the fact that you had recently gone through such a public (and sort of humiliating) break-up yourself. It was just a little soul-crushing, ok?

Anyways, lately you're turning up everywhere. I saw you on Oprah and was entranced by your shiny, golden highlights. You seemed so happy, so balanced, so TONED, and I sort of wanted to touch your hair. Even when you said soiree incorrectly and Oprah corrected you, I admit, I laughed a little bit, but I totally forgave you because you were so glowy, and I really, really, loved your boots. Anyways, Marley and Me looks fabulous. SO not depressing. Just watching clips made me go out and buy the book. Such is the power of Aniston.

And then to top it all off you show up on one of my fave shows, and are totally funny and cute. So, yeah, I love you again. Girl crush ON. I'm sure you're totally relieved.


P.S. Now that we're besties again, do a girl a solid and text me the name of your plastic surgeon. The dude is a miracle worker. Seriously, you look amazing and I'm sure 99% of it involves you working your ass off, but the oh-so subtle work done on your face is a masterpiece. Well played nameless plastic surgeon. Well played indeed.

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