Saturday, September 12, 2009

Things we've learned this week...

1. Major Agent represents another Major Agent! Do you hear that? It's the sound of worlds colliding. It's a little surreal a. That Catherine Drayton is our agent. and b. That Nathan Bransford, the guy whose blog taught us pretty much everything we know about publishing, is one of her clients. Anyways, huge congratulations to Nathan on the sale of his debut novel Jacob Wonderbar.

2. Even when you don't want to write, you should just write. I really, really didn't feel like working on Unclaimed Baggage this week. I mean who has time for actual writing when there's StatCounter logs and e-mail to be refreshed? But last night I sat down and spent a couple of quality hours with Sarah and Emily and I'm so glad that I did. When I write I'm reminded of why we started this whole crazy journey in the first place and that makes me happy. So, even if the thought of opening that word document makes you want to scream, just do it. You'll thank me later.

3. You should never, ever make rice crispy treats with stale marshmallows. They turn out like little rectangular bricks. And theoretically when one of your children decides they're disgusting and opts to throw it at their sibling, the brick like texture of the crispy treat will leave a mark. Just as an FYI.

4. You can never watch too much Glee. I've watched the pilot three times and now I've seen the second episode twice. Just can't get enough. My favorite line so far is, "This is where our daughter or gay son will sleep." How about you?

5. I'm officially obsessed with this blog. Laura discovered it and sent me a link and it's my secret desire that one of my obnoxious mommy posts will be featured. The guy or gal behind this is an evil genius.

Google search of the week: Circumcision Bet. We're the number one search result. Good. Times.

Comment of the week: From the hilarious JessJordan upon learning that we've never watched a single episode of Joss Whedon's masterpiece, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Oh my dear. Ohhhh my dear. This is not good. Not good at all.

*rests hand against wall for balance and tries not to faint*

You haven't seen the t.v. series of Buffy??!!?!?? This must be remedied now! Seriously, Joss Wheedon (spelling?) is the king of snark. (Except, um, try to ignore the 90% lameness that was season one; it's still kind of adorable and it serves at least some purpose.)

Alright. I can see what's happened, and if it's gotta be me, then it's gotta be me.

*sneaks in through back window of LiLa's house (yep, you live together for purposes of this comment).*

"What the--"

"I come in peace."

"Listen, stalker girl. I don't know what you're on, but I'm all jacked up on egg whites. Don't make me taebo you into next century!"

"White flag!"

"I'll smother a *itch with that white flag. Hoozah!"

"Bloggger. JessJordan! Don't kill! I come bearing Buffy!"

"Hmm. Well. As you can *clearly* see, I'm watching Bravo."

"And after that?"


"Yeah, once the show's over."

"No, see you don't get it. I'm watching Bravo. Not a show. The network. I break only for Glee. Got no time for Luke Perry and his sideburns!"

"No sideburns, at least I don't think. Just funness to the tenth times ten with a smartly funny bad ass chick. And hot/funny vamps."

"Hmmm. I'm still not sure. You should probably go-- Wait ... Do I see Twizzlers in that bag?"

Jess, I have to admit, I'm temporarily off carbs, so if you came to my window bearing Twizzlers I would 100% let you in, even if I was in the middle of the new (and trashtastic) Melrose Place reboot.

Have a fab weekend everyone!


Frankie Diane Mallis said...

OMG my stomach hurts! HURTS I tell you!

Dominique said...

Okay, I'm officially jealous. People only random find my blog through perfectly legitimate searches. No one hunts me through awesome word searches like that. And, yes, I googled it. You guys come up. Congrats.

Tess said...

How ma-jah is that news on the agent/Bransford link? Very cool.

Realm Lovejoy said...

Agent representing another agent sounds surreal...Anyway, yay for Nathan!

Kimberly Derting said...

Jess is hilarious! LMAO!!!

sraasch said...

Okay, now Nathan needs to represent an agent, so it can be an agent representing an agent representing an agent...

Sarah said...

Wow, that was comment of the month, not just the week. Well played, JessJordan.

No. 2 is true.
I have to find out about no. 4.
And I'm off to check out no. 5.

Icy Roses said...

Wow, I'm not even a parent, and I'm now addicted to that parent status screenshot site. Probably the most entertaining thing ever--and this coming from someone who is unhealthily drawn to the Jon & Kate saga playing out on tabloid covers.

When did you mention circumcision what?!

Lunar Amyscope said...

I just started season 6 of Buffy. I'm almost out of seasons and it's starting to make me extremely nervous. What will I do without new Buffy? *Sigh. I guess I could watch Firefly...again. Or dare try Angel.

Now I want Rice Krispies treats!

Katie said...

Oh Jess. You bring me vicarious joy!!!!! And I am off to check out what ever addictive link you posted. Tricky, not even telling us what it was, so now I HAVE to go see.

I laugh at Jess imitating y'all only watching Bravo with breaks for Glee. haha!

storyqueen said...

Yep! Jess wins. That's laugh out loud funny!

slhastings said...

I think I'll thank you now...

I don't feel like writing today, even though my story is practically telling itself.

But. I. Must. Work. On. It.

Of course, this after I check out the blogosphere, find out when Glee is on, make some rice crispy treats (which sound pretty good to me right about now), and stop laughing at JessJordan's hiiiilarious comment.

Er, thanks.

Donna Gambale said...

Glee does have fabulous writing. That wife is insane with her crafts and hysterical pregnancies and Sheets n Things whining. Seriously, how many seasons will we have to wait for hottie teacher to see the light and hook up with OCD teacher with the lovely red hair? (BTW, I don't retain character names for at least 5 episodes.)

Jess, that was hysterical. (I'm secretly ecstatic bc I believe the factoid about LiLa's Buffy-less lives came from our interview!) My favorite lines by far: "No, see you don't get it. I'm watching Bravo. Not a show. The network. I break only for Glee. Got no time for Luke Perry and his sideburns!"

Anonymous said...

I, too, have been virtually stoned for not having seen Buffy! Perhaps we should take a vow to watch. That would make Jen H abundantly happy.

Jeannie Lin said...

You have two degrees to NB! I asked a question at an agent panel once and he my book that means we had a conversation. :)

Hardygirl said...

STFU blog is perhaps the funniest thing I've ever read!!


jessjordan said...

1. That's awesome. Now you can play 6 degrees with Nathan Bransford! Woot!

2. Gah ... if you say so. I *did* just finish Hush, Hush (ah-MA-zing), and the hubby's not due back until tomorrow night, so I suppose I *could* spend some time writing tonight ...

3. I didn't realize marshmallows went stale. Once, I forgot to take them off the top of a toaster oven, and they swelled up and melted in the bag and left part of the label (permanently) on the top of the oven. I tried to make treats then. To say it was messy and unsuccessful would be an understatement of mass proportions.

4. Amen. I'm on part with you, actually -- 3 times so far for the premier and twice for episode 2. I LOL at the gay son line every time. I also love just about everything out of the Cheerios' coach's mouth, including, "That is the most offensive thing I've seen in 20 years of teaching, and that includes an elementary school production of Hair." (or something like that) Awesome.

5. Darn you. Must check out this mysterious blog.

6. Who made the circumcision bet--Li or La? And what, exactly, does this bet encompass? Nope. On second thought, you should keep the terms private. (any pun suggested by the use of "private" unintended)

7. If I knew I was going on display, I would've worn my good underwear! Oops, sorry ... too much info? :D Seriously, thanks for the cool comment "shout out." I'm glad I made a couple of people laugh this week--that's what this little world of ours is all about. (And I will TOTALLY be the diet devil and bring the Twizzlers. Don't think I was kidding.)

jessjordan said...

p.s. I have a secret crush on the new, trashtastic (great word; I'm going to borrow it for this comment, if you don't mind) Melrose Place. I only hate myself a little bit for it. :)

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