Thursday, September 3, 2009

You asked, We answered...

Thanks for the fabulous and somewhat random questions guys. We've had a lot of fun coming up with our answers. Enjoy!

From the esteemed Joanna:
Mr. Big, Aidan, Alexander P. and Berger are stuck on a desert island with you, with very little clothing (of course), food and water. After piling all of the rations (except the clothes) together, you realize that you only have enough food and water to last TWO people for a whole month.

Now, the desert island has a few coconut trees, but you have to be tall to get them. There is fish in the ocean, but you have to be wily and agile to catch them and mean enough to smack their heads against a rock. There may be fresh water somewhere under the sand, but you have to be such a downer that you're willing to dig that low. And there are a few animals on the island, but you have to be smooth enough to talk them into submission.

Who do you kill off to survive???

PS--The TWO people can't be both of you, so for this exercise, LiLa = one person.

The first to go is obviously Alexander P. I mean it's not like he can draw his way off the island, and imagine how nasty he'd be without his cigarettes. *shudder*

Next to face the wrath of LiLa will be good old Berger. Smell ya later buddy. You simply can't break up with people via post-it-note and expect to survive on a desert island. Just doesn't work that way B. Thanks for playing.

Now we're getting to the hard stuff. The eternal debate: Big or Aidan. Honestly, I feel like this would have gone a completely different direction if they never had made that gawd awful movie where Big publicly humiliates Carrie and the best he can do to apologize is copy some sorry ass love poems into an e-mail. LAME.

And then there's Aidan. When I think of Aidan I think of him fixing up Carrie's apartment, building things out of wood and carrying a baby in a bjorn. All very useful skills for island life.

Smell ya later, Big. Hope Aidan can figure out how to make a comfy bed out of those palm trees! In the meantime we'll all dine happily on coconut milk and Lisa can kill the fish. She can be a real bitch when she puts her mind to it.

From the fabulous Jenna Alexander:
Ok, imagine you are in hell. The real hell not just editing hell. Flames are flickering around you... what music is playing on the KHLL station?

Stars Are Blind by Paris Hilton. This song has the power to lure you down into the depths of hell and kind of make you want to stay. But then after a few minutes of the song on repeat, your ears will start to bleed and you'll be begging for mercy.

Either that or anything by Alanis Morrisette. Laura insisted on listening to the CD on one of our vacations growing up and everyone had to suffer through, "Isn't it ironic, don't you think?" about a million times. When in reality nothing in the entire freaking song is actually ironic. Our parents had the patience of saints.

From the vacationing JennyMac:
Is working/writing together something that makes your relationship as sisters better or more taxing at times?

Definitely better. We (and by we I mean Lisa) tend to get a little snippy when the writing isn't going exactly the way we'd like, but by and large writing together hasn't really changed anything between us. I'm tempted to say that it has made us closer, but I don't really think that's true. We were already this close, we already spent obscene amounts of time on the phone, the only difference is that now we can pretend it's a career.

And who makes hotter shoes: Choo or Louboutin?

Louboutin ALL the way. Those red soles are made of all things excessive and hot.

From the novel Frankie Diane Mallis:
You are now equipped with your own personal soundtrack-a mysterious machine that plays music whenever people see you coming or going. What song is playing when you enter a room? What song is playing when you leave?

Coming: Dancing Queen by Abba (because who doesn't love Abba?) But please realize, when we enter to this song, it will also be accompanied by syncronized dance moves that appear completely unrehearsed, like we just naturally move like we're in a musical. It will kick ass.

Leaving: I Will Survive (the Enrique Inglesias version), joking, joking, it's got to be Gloria Gaynor. This song rocks. Hard. When this song comes on at weddings, even non-dancers will dance. It's a song that brings people together. Rock on.

From the naughty Rebecca Knight:
Okay! Boff, Marry, Kill. Out of these three guys, who would you boff, who would you marry, and who would you kill?

1. Robert Downey Jr. - Boff (he's boffable)

2. Jackie Chan - Kill (we like a challenge)

3. Taye Diggs - MARRY (think of how beautiful our babies would be!)

From the fashionable Christina Lee:
I am too busy enjoying some of these questions. Ok here's my lamo one: Who is more of the extrovert/introvert of the two of you?

Lisa is definitely the extrovert. She's loud to the point of being completely obnoxious or hilarious. Depends on who you're talking to. Laura is pretty shy, but comes out of her shell once she's gotten comfortable with people.

From the hair obsessed ElanaJ:
Would you submit my name for What Not to Wear? kthxbai. :)

Only if you promise to invite us to the fabulous after party where your new look is exposed for all to see. Oh and find out if Clinton secretly hates Stacey. We think he might.

From the Twizzler deprived Sarah:
If you guys were famous for something (other than writing, which it goes without saying that you will be), what would it be?

I keep telling Laura if she would just get herself locked up in a North Korean prison for a few months, we'd probably score a book deal AND our own talk show. Consider yourselves on notice, Ling sisters.

There are secretly three of you, aren't there? Lisa, Laura and...??

No secret, there is a third sister, Stacey, who is 1,000 times more talented than Laura and I combined. Check out her website and enter to win a $50 gift certificate for her amazing designs here.

Your book is about to be made into a TV movie, starring Lindsay Lohan and hot new actor, Spencer Pratt. Which of you is sobbing first? Who pulls the other one off the ledge? Oh, and I forgot to mention. About the TV movie, Heidi is directing and serving in the capacity of music supervisor.

Holy &^%*! Our book is going to be a movie! With Lindsay Lohan and Spencer!?! Does this mean we get cameos on The Hills!?!

Ledge? What ledge? This means publicity, US Weekly montages and an invitation to the VMA's. We are SO in. I think you forgot that we're total idea whore, sell outs. As long as someone remembers to wipe the white crust from underneath LiLo's nose, we're totally on board.

What book do you secretly (or not-so-secretly) wish you'd written?

We wish we'd written Speak. Laurie Halse Anderson is a goddess.

From the serene Miss Tess:
Which one is Lisa and which one is Laura?

Laura is the dishy blonde. Lisa is the sensible brunette.

And, what is your favorite guilty pleasure?

Twizzlers and movie nights sans kiddos.

From our only male reader (unless you count our dad) Ryan:
Damn, there are a lot of good ones already. Let me go with something that might be a little obvious. Would you want to read a book that is based on mythology instead of reality, and takes place before the world as we know it came to be? But we also thought we'd hate TV shows about vampires and books narrated by the Grim Reaper or riddled with demons or girls who can travel into mystical realms. Honestly, if the book has amazing characters with interesting stories to tell, we're usually sold.

From the inimitable Katie:
Since SF is apparently calling herself Super Fly now, I'm thinking I'll be Killer (as in Kee lah). So what are y'all?

Um...LiLa? Seriously. We like that name. Don't make us think of something catchy, we suck at that. Remember how mad Little Ms. J got when we tried to dub her and P-Clo as Purple J? And then I called her the Divine Ms. J which she claims is a tranny name. Titles and nick names are just not our forte. Can you think of something for us? Ooh, and while you're at it come up with a better title for Unclaimed Baggage, ok?

From the hottest piece of Sass we know:
How'd you all get started? I'm relatively new to you blog - and blogs in general - so give me the nitty gritty. How do two sisters say "let's write a book... together"??!! I have a sister, hence all the !s and ?s

You can read the whole random story here. But really we were just a couple of desperate housewives with a lifelong love of books and a secret desire to write the next Gossip Girl.

From the mysterious sunna (she's really not that mysterious, but her blog picture is and if you haven't checked out her blog you really should because she's highly entertaining):

Argyle or stripeys?
Stripes. We love all things striped in all their unflattering, pound adding, glory.

Rare or burned?

Paper or plastic?
Plastic. (Did you hear that loud thump? That was the sound of Earth Mama Loretta fainting dead away. Don't disown us, L!)

What is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
I'm sorry, we simply cannot answer this without knowing if we're dealing with an African or European swallow.

From the uber informative jessjordan (seriously, check out her SCBWI posts):
If LiLa could have one superpower, what would it be and why?

This is SO easy. Obviously our superpower would be an odd 6th sense for knowing whenever anyone is reading one of our manuscripts. We'd get a little tingle on the back of our necks if an editor was reading and loving it and a quick zap if they hated it. We wouldn't even need the Hope Tank anymore because we'd already know. Good times.

From the girl-who-just-typed-the-end, Weronika:
Hehehehe. I want to hear all about how you met your hubbies and their proposals. :) The romantic side of it all.

Ok, it would take way too long to type up our proposal stories, but they were romantic, and lovely and involved sparkly diamonds.

But the really interesting story lies in the fact that both Laura and I married high school sweet hearts. How cheesy is that?

And if that isn't bad enough, Stacey also married someone from our high school only she was in 6th grade when he was a senior in high school. Oh and did I mention that he's my husband's best friend? Oh and Laura's husband is my husband's brother's best friend.

It's a tangled web we've woven over here in Cleveland. We're pretty sure that our parents put something in our orange juice growing up.

From the extraordinarily wise storyqueen:
Can you give us a little insight into how you guys write...I mean, there are two of you.....and how do you solve writerly disputes?

We start off by writing a very detailed outline that includes everything from character traits and development, to plot points of each chapter. Then Lisa writes the first chapter of the book sends it to Laura. Laura edits Lisa's chapter and then writes the next chapter. We keep going back and forth until the book is finished.

As for writerly disputes, they're sort of rare, but they do happen. Usually someone feels much more strongly about the issue than the other person, so we've both done our share of giving in gracefully.

Potato chips or French fries?

French fries! Ideally dipped in a Wendy's Frosty. Yum!


Solvang Sherrie said...

I wish I would have checked the blogs earlier so I could have asked a question! I loved all the questions, and especially the answers =)

Weronika Janczuk said...

Can we make a promise to each other today that, at some point in the next few years, we'll meet in person? Please?

You two are remarkable. I wish I had a sister.

Ryan said...

I got another question for you...

Am I really the only male reader besides your dad?

Just curious.

Ryan said...

And, by the way, I think that they are. And, my wife has told me that it has the possibility of becoming the next harry potter. I love my wife, even if she fills my head with wonderful white lies. lol.

Sarah said...

You guys are so awesome, I'm tearing up just thinking about it.
I think it's romantic (not cheesy at all) that both of you got married to your high school sweethearts.
I've also always wondered who was who in the pictures.
OK, and I can't not comment on this: you would be okay with Lilo and Speidi smudging the trainwrecked prints all over your beautiful books??? If you won't say it, I will. Over my dead, cold body.
I will FIGHT for you. (That's right. Prepare for another staged Spencer-bar fight scene on the Hills. And look out for my cameo. I'll be wearing a Team Lila t-shirt.)

Little Ms J said...

If you had babies with Taye Diggs they would be 3'9" and I think it is creepy that you guys married high school sweethearts. Do you ever catch them looking longingly at one another from across the dinner table at Christmas?


The Hotness

Serious - that is my text name on my cell phone. I text myself reminders for blogs/stories and Mr. J grabbed my phone the other day, "Who is The Hotness and why is he talking to you about poop?" It is less tranny and more empowered than giving the little blister firstborn rights on a combined name.

PS - I hate that I'm always late to the party!

Katie said...

If you guys don't get a book deal simply from someone reading your blog, I will flat out die.

You. are. Divine! And not in a tranny sort of way.

I literally laughed OUT LOUD while reading your answers. - which is a hard thing to do. Think about it - when you read a book, you might smile or grin, but you usually (even when it's funny) don't make audible sound.

When on Lila's blog - I get audible :)

Love Y'all!!!

PS- I want to text myself as The Hotness too!

Lisa and Laura said...

Can I just say again how much we love you guys? We clearly have the best, most random readers on the planet. I'm not sure how we all ended up finding each other but man am I glad we did.

Sherrie - Randomness at it's finest.

Weronika - One of these days we are all going to meet at a writer's conference or better yet a book signing! I, for one, can't wait! It's going to be legendary.

Ryan - Um...yeah, sort of. Unless you count the ex boyfriends who cyber stalk us.

Sarah - The image of you storming The Hills in a Team LiLa shirt is freaking hilarious. This is why we'd be thrilled about the movie! Imagine the unintentional comedy! Besides, LiLo as a really old, slightly strung out Kate = Awesome. Honestly, if Quentin Tarrantino directed I bet you anything it would be a cult classic.

TDMJ - I'm using your Tranny name because you had the nerve to insinuate that our high school sweetheart husbands having feelings for each other and I refuse to address you as "The Hotness."

You might be right about our children with Taye Diggs though. They would probably turn out to be really gorgeous midgets, and it would probably be a little awkward having to bend down to kiss our husband, but what ever. We'd make do.

Katie - The only reason we're remotely funny is because our readers are freaking hilarious. That is the sad, sad truth. We are funny by association.

And I think editors reading our blog would be a little terrified of us. Our book gives no indication of the true depths of our random.

Loretta Nyhan said...

I'm a little late to the party...but--oy!--plastic bags???!!! I just choked on my green tea.

Great post for nosy readers! Do this again after you score your book deal!

confused homemaker said...

This is the best Q&A I have ever read. I once got a signed autograph from Dave founder of Wendy's. Frosties RULE (and Yes, I just used RULE).

Christina Lee said...

hahaha love it all! say YES! to plastic bags- especially if you have a dog and poopy messes on walks (paper just doesn't work). You guys have a nice looong weekend- even though you are kinda dreading the longness of it, I know!

Tess said...

Then you took your picture backwards! All this time I thought Lisa And Laura would be like in the pic - Lisa as the cutie pie blonde and Laura as the dark and sexy brunette. Good to know!

Fun post today :)

ElanaJ said...

This is fan-freaking-tastic! Thanks for answering! You guys are awesome. And French fries are fab dipped in Ranch. Yummy.

Rebecca Knight said...

I love your answers!! :D Also, it's pretty sweet that I get to be "The Naughty Rebecca Knight" even for a moment. MWAHAHAHA!

Your super power is also a fantastic idea. I wonder if you can get that by eating a gamma-ray blasted version of your manuscript? Try it, and let us know!

jessjordan said...

1) Aidan would come with me, hands down. I mean, did you *see* the way he tore into Carrie's apartment? He's SO outdoorsman, we'd never go hungry. Unless ....... could we sail off the island using a boat made with all of Big's money/plastic? Food for thought.

2) Paris Hilton ... Gah, now that song is stuck in my head. Did I fall into hell with you?

3) Dancing Queen and Alba? You 2 are so tranny. Come on. Just admit it. We'll still love you. I mean, we still love The Divine Mrs J, after all. (p.s. love you lmj---almost rolled laughing at your comment). :D

4) Taye Diggs is short? Where have I been all my life? He's totally hot, though. And you'd made beautiful babies. Seriously. Even if they are the size of ants.

5) I have those recyclable grocery bags, but I always leave them at home. They're great at transporting liquor from one residence to another, though. Nice and sturdy. But ... I do recycle. And I reuse the plastic bags. So that's not *too* bad, right? Right?

6) Love your superpower. And here I was thinking of lame-o things like cloning Twizzlers in a petri dish ...

7) Awesome post. Way funny answers. Still love you guys, even with the Paris Hilton earworm you just left me with.

sunna said...

Brilliant. I must now fall off the bridge.

You guys are hilarious. :)

storyqueen said...

Okay, I'm not buying it. I know you two must duke it out sometimes.....and if not, then you should write a story where the girl has two potential love interests. Each of you design the perfect guy for your MC and fight about which guy gets the girl in the end. The ULTIMATE LOVE TRIANGLE (that involves sisters that isn't weird or anything.)

Double Dog Dare.


Realm Lovejoy said...


Ugh--Stars Are Blind makes even the ear worms cry.

Don't call this a comeback

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