Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Best LiLa: Psychiatric Evaluation Gaga Style

I enjoy Lady Gaga's music, have even been known to sing along to a few songs (okay, okay and maybe have a dance party or two in my living room), but I think she's batshit crazy. I get that the insane-looking outfits (she makes Bjork look like an amateur) are her "thing" and probably make her more popular because they force people to talk about her and remember her (exactly what I'm doing here), but just looking at her annoys me.

Anyways, I've decided to put the pics to the Rorscharch test. Move over ink blots.
Dr. R: Tell me, what do you see after looking at this picture?
LiLa: Nurse of the high seas. She is mocking all land animals with the chicken claw bracelet.

Dr. R: Good, good, and this one?

LiLa: Room Raiders--that terrible show on MTV circa 5 years ago. It looks like she's going to use a gloved finger to see how dirty my ceiling fan is.

Dr. R: Ah yes, that is very telling indeed. How about Lady Gaga at the Grammy's?

LiLa: Bedazzled hooves. That is all.

Dr. R: (Writing vigorously on his notepad): Fascinating, fascinating. How about here?

LiLa: The Devil Wears Nada, the soft porn version of The Devil Wears Prada.

Dr. R: Your free association is magnificent, not to mention your taste in porn. Tell me, what are you thinking now?

LiLa: Wedgewood. Mr. Gaga and Wedgewood had a baby. A high-waisted Wedgewood-inspired spandex baby.

Dr. R: And, our last picture. What comes to mind, ladies?

LiLa: Good God, her breasts! They've stolen her breasts. Sparkles! Sunglasses! Robert Pattinson.

Dr. R: This is troubling. Very troubling indeed. Further evaluation is mandatory. Please see my receptionist up front to schedule a follow-up ASAP.

Now it's your turn! Head to the comments to use free association to share the first thoughts that came to your mind after being eye-raped by Lady Gaga's particular brand of crazy. Dr. R. will be checking in periodically with evaluations.


Matthew MacNish said...

1) God I missed you people.

2) Is that a lobster?

3) She seems a little wide through the hips in several of these shots.

4) I got my ARC!

Jonathon Arntson said...

1) I knew I was deathly afraid of crustaceans for a reason.

2) I thought the Adams Family remake was still a few years away.

3) Stellar.

4) Little Red Riding Hood really asking to be raped AKA is she copying Xtina in this one?

5) Where's the pacifier?

6) What are her stylists on and where can I get some?!

Guinevere said...

I love Gaga, but you'd think she'd pick more flattering outfits while trying to be avant garde. The Wedgewood China one - my god. It looks like something my great-grandmother would have picked up at Victoria's Secret circa 1912.

Bri Ahearn said...

1) Little Mermaid, redux. "I wanna be a sea creature, up there, boiling in, a Red Lobster pan for a eighteen ninetyniiiiiiiiiiine"

2) Lady Q-TIP

3) Who put so many freaking rings on it?

Jan von Harz said...

# 3 Judy Jetson off to the Prom

# 6 Sadly, this is what happens to breast implants after they burst in a car accident. Nothing pretty to see here!

Jemi Fraser said...

Batshit crazy sounds like a good description for them all!

Although... I've often wondered if she does these so she can actually go out in public. I mean if she pulls on a sweatshirt and jeans and sticks her hair in a ponytail, who's going to recognize her?

Kelly H-Y said...

Second time around ... still hilarious! Thanks for re-posting!

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