Mischa, it’s not easy, when things don’t go your way,
the economy tanked, you lost your job, and you just want to play.
the economy tanked, you lost your job, and you just want to play.
It's not your fault the dialogue on The Beautiful Life sucked ass,
But at least honor your contract, show up on time, have some class.
Now you may just want to give up or drown your sorrows in drink,
but first let's hear what a few of your special friends think.
but first let's hear what a few of your special friends think.
Lindsay says things will be okay, she's been there done that,
Hot pants help, so do smokes, and don’t forget your hat.
Though, try to avoid faux lesbian romances,
They don't seem to help much with Hollywood chances.
I’ll always be your network sister, says Ashley with a frown,
just look at me after SNL, I was the laughing stock of town.
Now I'm famished (starving really), but at least I've found success,
which is so much more than I can say for my sorry sister Jess.
Audrina slurs, try MTV, you're welcome to crash at my place.
Jumpsuits help, plastic surgery too, have you seen what they've done to my face?
which is so much more than I can say for my sorry sister Jess.
Audrina slurs, try MTV, you're welcome to crash at my place.
Jumpsuits help, plastic surgery too, have you seen what they've done to my face?
Alas, I have one more idea. Didn't Ashton Kutcher produce your show?
Did it cross your mind you could have been punked? What say you camel toe?
Mischa, stop all your sniveling, things truly aren't that bad,
Mischa, stop all your sniveling, things truly aren't that bad,
I'm a wreck, my show's a mess and my kids have a d-bag for a dad.
But here I am, I have eight kids, which is more than I can say for you.
Pull yourself up, dust yourself off, it's time to start anew.
Listen here and listen hard, I’ve had some meltdowns in my day,
Shave your head, kick a car, spiral downward in a grand display.
And then when you're good and ready, get extensions and "modest" clothes,
People expect so little from you, they'll love your new craptastic shows.
So raise your glass to Mischa, she gave it a nice little try,
At least they didn't kill you off, but I guess this is goodbye!
15 comments:
Please write a poetry book.
Just so we're clear, Laura really is the funniest person on the planet.
AAHAHAHAHAHA. The best part is I was looking at Adrina and said "Is that... camel toe?" right before I read her part.
This totally made my day! We love you, Laura!
Inspiring :) I never even heard of the show Ashton K. produced with her ... till it was over. Obviously I didn't miss anything.
Yes, when I saw that pic of Adrina my first thought was "that can't be comfortable" - hehehehhe
Very funny Laura - I raise my glass to you. :)
hee hee hee.
If Ashlee can come back, my dear, SO CAN YOU!!
Poooor mentally unstable little Mischa. She should check herself into rehab. And by rehab, I secretly mean acting school. No wait ... she did that already, didn't she?
--"Listen here and listen hard, I’ve had some meltdowns in my day,
Shave your head, kick a car, spiral downward in a grand display."--
--Laura is awesome. Thanks for the laugh. :)
I am in stitches!!! That was both hilarious and speckled with important truths as well. Genius.
I see you ladies are moving into children's books. This is a wonderful work, full of good rhyme and bright, colorful images, and with such a clear moral. Your agent must be thrilled! :-)
"...What say you camel toe?"
'scuse me while I mop up my keyboard.
Oh my. I am really lacking the CW gene here, dangit! MUST WATCH MORE TV!
What a sick thought. LOL
This was an excellent pre-GLEE post! What a great day!
you guys are sickly wicked! :)
Brilliant.
Oh my goodness! That's probably the most awful way to end a tv show. Poor Mischa!
Well, it's actually a little hard to feel sorry for her in this funny poem!
I'm with Katie--I don't watch enough tv, but it was still hilarious!
Laura, I heart you. You're like a ninja - sneaky, quiet and lethal. Girl, I would not want to be in your slam book!
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