Friday, June 4, 2010

Hair-mergency

If you've been reading the blog for a while, chances are you've heard Lisa talk about the time I decided to chop off all my hair like a boy and dye it red. Let's just say this was a bad idea...of epic proportions. I had a mullet for over a year during the grow-out phase and there still seriously may be traces of ten-year-old red color in my hair.

Anywho, I'm a little sensitive about the locks. The word "brassy" gives me nightmares and someone threatening to paint red hair dye on my hair would be the most effective form of torture I can think of. So, what better time to have a hair-mergency than before a huge wedding weekend where I am not only a bridesmaid, but the matron-of-freaking-honor? That's right, I had a four alarm hair-mergency.

9:00 last Saturday morning: Salon calls to cancel appointment I've had on the books for over a month because highly recommended stylist (HRS) has strep. Totally screwed up not only my day, but Stacey's, who stayed the night to babysit during appointment.

5:00: Appointment is re-scheduled, but shoved in. Consultation with HRS is rushed and rather vague. HRS is painting the top five inches of my hair only with some sort of mixed color and I'm feeling slightly nervous that the top and bottom won't blend. The words "multi-tonal color" and "totally natural" were thrown around and I had visions of walking out of the salon looking like my blonde, 2-year-old daughter.

5:25: HRS approaches my chair and tells me not to worry, the color will never come out as dark as it is looking.

6:00: Random girl washes me out and HRS comes to the sink to comment on how great the color looks.

6:15: Return to seat with wet hair and see the distinct glimmer of a brassy, coppery, auburny monstrosity painted around the top five inches of my hair. Die a little.

6:20: Get word that HRS does not have time to blow dry my hair and after he slaps a little product in, I am ushered to the front desk where I am told to pay $100. Abandon gift certificate from daughter for Mother's Day and pay the difference. Die a little.

6:30: Immediately call Lisa. Clicking can be heard in the background as she's sharing my nightmare with the world via Twitter. Die a little.

6:45: Dry hair and realize it's not as bad as I thought it was. It's WORSE. I have red roots and a blonde bottom. Leave panicky message with salon where I bumble about brassy hair, a matron of honor speech and broken dreams. Die COMPLETELY.

Conclusion? I had to spend an additional three hours today having bleach painted on my head in an effort to cut the red. The woman who was commisioned to fix the HRS' botch job did the best she could, but my hair is now orange instead of red and I am dead inside*.

Cheers!

*Okay, okay I know there are BIGGER problems in the world. MUCH BIGGER. But I have ugly hair and thus permission to be dramatic.

51 comments:

Rachele Alpine said...

Aww...hang in there! I know how you feel! When I worked at summer camp in my high school years, I dyed my hair one night only to find out that well water does not give you the same results. Instead if "Cinnaberry," I was a beautiful shade of purple! It was more like blueberry!

Simon C. Larter said...

And no pictures? For shame, Laura!

Also, not to rub it in or anything, but being a guy, a hair emergency is easily fixed with a ballcap. If you can find one that matches your dress for the wedding, it'd be totally cute. No, really, in that tomboyish, ponytail-though-the-back-of-the-hat way, I bet you'd look pretty cute.

Just a suggestion. I'm not a HRS, so what do I know?

Hayley said...

Deep breaths, it'll be okay. You've got a little time, and worse comes to worse you can risk it and go for a self dye job. It's better than nothing and should get rid of the orange. Hopefully. Deep breaths.

Matthew Rush said...

Painted? I thought it was called foiling. Do they still do that?

I haven't been in a salon since the 90's when my girlfriend at the time used to force me to go to the Aveda institute in MPLS with her.

Is going all Sinead O'Connor an option?

Bethany Elizabeth said...

I can't even imagine - oh my goodness! Yes, you have full reason/permission to be dramatic. Eck. :( Did you try maybe going with a darker color instead of trying to bleach it out? I'm not a big hair-dye person, so I don't know if it would help, but maybe?
I hope things work out!

Lola Sharp said...

I can only offer my condolences. Hair is VERY important; drama is allowed.

Vicki Rocho said...

You have my greatest sympathy. I am never happy with my hair. Never. Trying to grow it out now which (as you know) is an ordeal. I avoid mirrors.

Frankie Diane Mallis said...

AH! I completely understand, having your hair messed up is the WORST!!!!!!!!!! Im so sorry! *hugs* also you should complain and demand a refund and free gift certificate--thats crap!

Jen said...

YIKES!!! I would have died way before you did, way to hang in there! I would have been so angry that they left me without blown dry hair wanting me to fork over a ton of money. It's important to make sure the client is happy and you being shuffled out after being upset already was just ridiculous!

I'm glad that someone was there to fix it ENOUGH to make a little better than worse.

So the real question is... will you be going back to that salon?

Lee Nichols said...

Having done a thousand awful things to my hair, I totally sympathize. Just know, that no one will care but you.

sraasch said...

Aw! But as someone who has willingly dyed her hair red for the past 3 years, I cannot share your hatred of that color ;) It is my worst fear though that one of these times it turns out horribly, horribly wrong. Shudder.

B.E. Sanderson said...

Holy crap. You need your money back in a major way. HRS? I won't tell you what I think that ought to mean. You deserve to vent all the drama and you need to visit some on his head. :steam:

I was a maid of honor once. Went to the stylist the morning of the wedding, ended up with a fuzzy brown football helmet, and not enough time to fix it. You'd think people whose job it is to do hair would understand how important hair is. Sheesh. I feel for you.

Stina Lindenblatt said...

That's awful. You have every right to be upset. I can't believe how they treated you. Unfortunately busy saloon don't care about their customers.

And I've done some scary things to me hair. I feel your pain.

Christine Danek said...

Yikes! You should be upset. I would demand a free treatment or money back and go somewhere else.
Hope things work out.
Have a good weekend.

middle grade ninja said...

Suck. But maybe you could use as a hilarious subplot in a novel? So the experience would be worth something then, right? Still sucks. Sorry.

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

Oh, you poor thing. I've been there. Bad hair dye jobs SUCK.

So where are the pics?

lol. Sorry, that was cruel and inconsiderate.

I'd send you to the best hair dresser I know to have it fixed but she's in Baltimore so that might not work.

Hope you enjoy the wedding anyway.

Hats are very in style right now. :)

Lisa said...

Not good! The stylist who did that to your hair needs to fix it free of charge! Ushering you out like that was extremely unprofessional! Ugh!

Hope you get your hair fixed soon. I know how traumatic that can be. Been there myself.

Natalie said...

Oh, that is terrible, but I still want to see pictures. :)

storyqueen said...

I have no words...but soooo unfair!! What is the universe playing with you like this!!??

Good luck.

And at least it didn't break off or anything.

I hate hair-mergencies.

Shelley

Kristi Helvig said...

That sucks - I'm sorry. Don't post a picture if it'll make you die even more completely than you already have. :)

Meredith said...

That's absolutely awful, and the way they treated you is even worse! I hope everything works out for the wedding. And that you find a new HRS.

Kerri C at CK Farm said...

OMG! A hair emergency is defiantly something to freak out over. Be dramatic, be very dramatic.

Christine Fonseca said...

Dude - I am a hair freak, so I totally...TOTALLY understand where you're coming from!

Tahereh said...

i am so so so so so so sorry.

hair-mergencies are horrific.

:(

Heather Kelly said...

Am I a totally bad person for really wanting to see pictures? Or are you a wonderful writer for making me want more? I'm going with the latter. :)

I'm so sorry that this happened right before such a big event. Maybe a hat?

Sara B. Larson said...

I think hairtrauma is definitely worthy of freakoutage and drama!! Oh man, I'm so sorry. :( Would this be the type of lovely summer wedding that could include Kentucky Derby style hats?? I really am sorry... Maybe you could try going brunette? Good luck.

Marsha Sigman said...

After reading through the comments I have one piece of advice, after all that if you try to re-dye it or anything at this point, it may just all fall out.

You do have options:
1) Matt's ball cap idea. They actually sell them in pink with Maid of Honor printed on them.
2) Wear one of those burqa's you posted about on Tuesday and tell everyone you are converting.
3) Wear a bandanna in support of Bret Michaels.
4) Wear a stocking cap and go gangsta.

Or just rock that look, girl. Tell everyone it's the new fashion and you're surprised they didn't get their hair done like that.

Amy said...

OMG, I have SO been there. Except I had nobody to blame but myself: I botched a dye job when I was 16 that left me with midnight black hair (I am a natural dark blond, so it looked beyond hideous). Then, in an adolescent should-have-paid-attention-in-chemistry panic, I ducked my whole head in a bucket of bleach. As in the Clorox from the laundry room.

Not. Pretty.

Anyway: I sympathize. And I would be demanding my money back, lady.

I'm sure you still look gorgeous, though. :-)

beth said...

OMG! OMG OMG OMG!!!! I *so* sympathize!

I have super-long hair. Like, it reaches the top of my butt long hair. Last hair cut, I decided I wanted long layers. I came in with a picture, knew exactly how many inches I wanted off, everything.

I said, "Why don't we save the top long layers for Locks of Love?"

She said, "Sure, no problem."

AND THEN SHE TOOK OUT HER SCISSORS AND HACKED OFF NEARLY TWO FEET OF HAIR OFF.

As soon as her scissors stopped snipping, I looked up and said, "So, I'm just not going to get the hair cut I wanted, am I?"

She says, "No, this will be BETTER."

It wasn't.

Krispy said...

You're not being overdramatic. I mean, it's your HAIR and you have to walk around with it! Salon should make it up to you or something. What about customer satisfaction?

I generally think red hair is lovely, but I can see where it can go horribly horribly wrong. My hair's too dark for that kind of color unless I like bleach my whole head, which is a NO for me.

Janet Johnson said...

Ohhh, rotten! This is my biggest fear and why I have only dyed my hair a couple times.

Good luck!

Anne said...

Oh no!! I feel your pain! I had a stylist try to fix her brass all during the same appt before. I was stuck in a chair for almost 6 hours and my hubs had to wander the attached mall the entire time trying to figure out wth happened to me!

Dara said...

Not overdramatic at all! I would've burst to tears in the car.

Also, while I didn't have a dye job go wrong like that, I did have a slightly botched hair style. My sis-in-law was in cosmotology school and I was her "first" (AKA the test subject) for her first exam. While she didn't completely botch it, the back of my hair looked like it had been caught in a lawn mower :P Thankfully it grew out rather quickly and I was able to keep it back much of the time. Sis-in-law has since gotten MUCH better with hair styling. And it could've been much worse...

K. M. Walton said...

What I always find fascinating (and disturbing) is the level of "I don't care" out there in the world. Where was HRS' pride in his work? Where was HRS' loyalty to you as a customer...and desire to do right by you? To make your hair look amazing? It is his JOB!

Now, to make you feel better, you are beautiful and would be beautiful bald. Not only am I sure you will rock the hair color you have...you will be THE BEST matron of honor.

Erica Chapman said...

Bummer! Oh hon, I totally feel for you. I've had botch jobs done a few times myself. I once had calico hair, I kid you not... it was on accident of course ;o)

I'm sure you look great, play with it, have some fun with it! Get some cool accessories (head band with a funky flower) and do it up to match the color!

Good luck and have fun at the wedding ;o)

Shannon Whitney Messenger said...

Aw. {{Hugs}} I'm laughing with you, not at you, I promise.

Plus I can SO relate. My hair is very difficult to color for some reason, and at one point my stylist decided to retire and I had to find a new one. I took a rec from a friend and O.M.G. Somehow I ended up with a square of blonde on one side, a triangle in the back, and a circle on the other side. Took 10 weaves with a new girl to completely get rid of it.

Adele said...

Seriously, where is the accompanying picture?
I am of limited imagination
and much curiosity.

Loretta Nyhan said...

We definitely need a photo...

And I'm going to get my hair done tomorrow. Totally scared now.

Tere Kirkland said...

Don't you know that "no time to blow dry" is code for "get her the hell out of here before she sees what we've done to her head"? ;)

Hope things are looking better!

Have a great weekend.

Lindsay (a.k.a Isabella) said...

That is awful. I would have been really upset too. I once had highlights put in my hair and they looked like stripes, even though I told her I didn't want it to look like that. She did put more in to break it up. Although I've never had highlights since. lol.

Cara said...

Never, NEVER, go to a new hairdresser for an important event. Never. We must always try them out when it doesn't matter. That doesn't guarantee anything (mistakes happen) but it helps.

Jemi Fraser said...

Yikes! You do NOT deserve this! I hope it all looks better in the morning. I'm sure it'll be better! What colour is the dress???

Lori W. said...

So sorry! I hope it fades out fast, and that your time at the wedding is wonderful in spite of it. On the bright side, it's more material for your writing . . .

Sarah said...

Okay, seriously? Bad hair is the worst (totally a reason to throw things at people...I mean, er, be dramatic).

I'm sorry! Just so you know, if anyone can work orange hair, it's you. So own it. And smize. As Tyra would say.

Susan Fields said...

When I was in college, I decided to die my dark brown hair blonde (by myself - with a box). It turned out bright brassy orange. I didn't know how to get it back to my natural color without having obnoxious roots (what can I say, I was young and, well...dumb) so I just kept dying it that same color to avoid the roots. When I look back on the pictures now, I cringe (that's putting it mildly), so I totally get what you're going through. Even though I've got grey coming in now, I'm not going anywhere near hair dye ever again.

I'm sure you look beautiful whatever color your hair is, and have a fabulous time at the wedding!

Elana Johnson said...

Oh, I've died for you. There is nothing I like better than dying my hair. Nothing. And to have that ruined -- and have to pay for it?? UGH!

Can't wait to "see" it. :)

Donna Gambale said...

Awwwww so sorry!

Right after high school graduation I chopped over a foot of hair off. It was SHORT. I looked awful for at least seven months afterward. Six years later, when I tell my friends I'm getting a hair cut, they still look at me warily and ask how much.

Shelli (srjohannes) said...

that sux!

Talli Roland said...

Oh no...

I am a massive hair addict and I can obsess for hours over anything that just doesn't seem quite right after a visit to the hairdresser. I so feel your pain! And then when you have to pay for it...!

JESSJORDAN said...

Wait wait wait ... some HRS managed to turn Laura's blonde hair a brassy red color?? WTH? Note to self: it really WILL turn out that dark, no matter what HRS says, and never leave salon without a blow dry.

Thanks for the life lesson (and very, terribly sorry about your hairmergency!)

The Hot Heads Groupie said...

I gave you a shout out on my blog today. :) Cute post!