Our obsession with StatCounter isn't news to anyone who reads our blog on a regular basis, but I'm sad to say that in recent weeks it has escalated to a whole new level.
It all started when we began getting hits from people who we thought might be editors. And then we noticed that there were all kinds of other people checking in on us, including friends, relatives, and even a crazy ex-bestie.
When we discovered a little tool within StatCounter that allowed us to label IP addresses things really started to go downhill. It sort of became a competition between the two of us regarding who could come up with the most amusing label for cyberstalkers.
Just to give you a little (PG) taste of what you might see if you could access our StatCounter archives:
-For the random hit we got from Nordstrom: Creditor (I knew I shouldn't have bought those shoes even if I was only one pair away from another Nordstrom Note)
-For the person who googled us from a bank in NYC: Editor who moonlights as a banker (definitely wishful thinking)
-For the person who might be an editor but is probably just a random from NYC: Editor or cruel joke? (thankfully StatCounter allows punctuation)
-For the crazy ex-bestie: Crazy (we're so succinct)
-For the crazy ex-bestie potentially logging on from a different computer: Crazy getting tricky? (succinct AND observant)
-For the hundreds of people who have found the blog by Googling Laura's name: Laura Stalkers (spurned boyfriends, ex-students, jealous classmates? Your guess is as good as mine, but a lot of people are wondering what Laura Roecker is up to these days. Maybe they just want to check in and see if she's still homecoming queen material?)
-For the one person who found the blog by Googling my name: Finally a Lisa stalker! (It pains me to admit that even after all this time, Laura is still more popular than me. Ouch.)
The best part about all of this is that it's pure conjecture. That's half the fun, really. The only thing we know about the hits we get is the general region, so we get to make up all the details ourselves.
So if you're logging on from Las Vegas, we naturally assume you're a high school nemesis turned show girl. And if it's a hit from L.A., you're clearly a movie scout who happened to find our manuscript abandoned on the subway on a scouting trip in NYC, read it on the plane ride home and you're now dying to acquire film rights before we even publish the book. I mean, what are the chances!?
Now, for the record, all of our fabulous regular readers including our real friends, family and blog friends go without nicknames because it's really only fun to make fun of crazy people and ourselves.
But cyberstalkers, BEWARE. We are watching you. Well, not so much watching you as amusing ourselves at your expense. Whatever. You get the idea.