I haven't done one of these in a couple of weeks, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm a little rusty. Alas, we have learned quite a bit over the past couple of weeks and if there's one thing you know about us, it's that we're always willing to (over)share.
1. Agent + Vacation = 2 Unhappy Campers. We miss Major Agent! Yes, we know that everyone is entitled to some R&R, but our lives seem devoid of meaning without our 5 PM update e-mails from her. And we keep imagining her inbox being flooded with rejections while we're lazing around eating Twizzlers. Not fun.
2. Workouts + Sisters = Hilarity. Laura and Stacey did an interval training class with me today at the gym. I don't think twice about hopping around and looking like a complete jackass when I'm flying solo, but somehow seeing Laura and Stacey half heartedly punch and kick and trip over their own feet escalates the hilarity level. And it's all over if you make eye contact. We earned many a dirty look from our fellow classmates when we spent most of the class doubled over in laughter. I wonder if you burn more calories that way?
3. Jack + Banana Republic = Humiliation. Over the past couple weeks my 4-year-old has stepped up his efforts to drive me completely insane and humiliate me in public. It all started with an innocent trip to Banana Republic. I had a reward card that was about to expire, so against my better judgement I took Jack and Mia with me for a quick shopping trip.
I bribed them with promises of snacks and rides on the quarter sucking machines sitting right outside the store. Rather than behave like an actual human being, Jack decided to continuously push Mia's stroller into racks of clothing, and then (in spite of thousands of whispered warnings from me) he tipped her entire stroller over in the dressing room resulting in me delivering the unpalatable news that he would no longer be taking the promised airplane ride.
Commence the mother of all meltdowns.
Keep in mind that we're inside a dressing room, so while the other patrons could hear Jack screaming they could not see what was actually happening. I kneeled down and cupped Jack's face (a doctor and dog whisperer approved tactic to get him to make eye contact and calm down), and then he started screaming "STOP SPANKING ME MOMMY! YOU'RE HURTING ME! YOU PINCHED MY FACE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I think the worst part was having to do the walk of shame out of the dressing room. I'm surprised they didn't stitch a scarlet A on my shirt, for abuser.
4. Thai Food + Books + Wine + 6 Gals = Good Times. We had our first book club meeting Thursday night and it was ab fab. More to come on that on Monday.
5. NYC Prep + The Real World Cancun + 16 & Pregnant = The Apocalypse. Really nothing to add to this one. These shows are just a shocking conglomeration of trash and I'm single handedly adding to their weekly Nielson ratings. You're welcome.
Have a fabulous weekend everyone!
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