Tuesday, July 14, 2009

D-Bag-O-Meter: Jon Gosselin (formerly of Jon and Kate Plus Eight)

In an effort to forget about some recent embarrassments, we've decided to dust off the old D-Bag-O-Meter and give it a spin. If only the book we were holding in that fateful picture was Multiple Bles8ings: Surviving to Thriving with Twins and Sextuplets. Ah hindsight.

Dear Jon,

You think you're so cool in your Ed Hardy t-shirts, smoking your ciggies and hanging out with your twenty-something gal pals. Well, we're here to bring you back down to reality (you can thank us later, or now if you want, in the comments section).

Dude, you have eight kids, two dogs and a not-even-ex-yet-wife. Get a hold of yourself. Fly back to wherever-you-come-from, Pennsylvania, drive back to your sprawling piece of land and spend some time with those eight kids and two dogs (we won't even judge if you don't want to kick back with your not-even-ex-yet-wife).

You should be ashamed of yourself. You've scored higher on the D-Bag-O-Meter (patent pending) than PC, hovering right around Spencer level or "total d-bag" status. You have ten plus years on both of them, not to mention the 8 children, you should know better.



Jon minus 9 said...

God, you guys are so mean. I'm just trying to have a little fun. Kate is such a bitch. She never even let me watch what I wanted on TV. Is it any wonder that I'm running around in Ed Hardy t-shirts with girls who probably can't even spell TLC? You girls are heartless.

Icy Roses said...

Lol at the above comment.

I swing pendulum-like between hating Jon and hating Kate, because Jon is a loser for cheating and Kate has probably the most annoying personality I have ever seen on TV.

But recent developments have made me feel an inkling worse for Kate because she's dealing with 8 kids, sans Jon. And Jon is hanging with the girl who he "did not cheat on his wife with." ...yeah.

K8te said...

He's such a jerk. You tell 'em girls! He's a major d-bag!

Jon - you can forget getting alimony!

PurpleClover said...

Bravo ladies! I read your post below and I still think you should continue with reviews and with sending your thumbs down pics!

No such thing as bad publicity!

Even for Jon & Kate (and their brood)

Jon minus 9 said...

Whatever, Kate. Bridget Nielsen called, she wants her hair back.

And good luck with naptime, SUCKAH.

Sarah said...

LOL, I love it! At the moment (since Spencer has repented and reformed his ways...allegedly), I'm thinking Jonathan [you know how Moms use your full name to scare you? I'm totally trying for that] is right at or past the Spencer alley.
Gosh, I'd be *so* embarrassed if Jonathan were my dad. Can you even imagine?

Kelly H-Y said...

He's disgusting! Totally agree with the d-bag-o-meter (LOVE that, by the way!!) rating!

Kimberly Derting said...

Funnier than crap! As torn as I am between the lovely Gosselin parents, I'm giving the win to Kate on this one (mostly because she's the one sporting the ginormo tummy tuck scar after carrying **8** kids). Dude, D-Bag doesn't even begin to describe the level of ick I feel toward Jon. *throws up in mouth a little*

Hardygirl said...

Okay. I don't even know who this guy is, but I hate him.

And, I can't believe I missed the entire "thumbs down" saga. I think any author would be happy to be having her book discussed--any review is a good review, right??


Danyelle said...


Joanna said...

Freaking D-Bag all the way--even worse actually--generic brand D, yuck.

Little Ms J said...

What a disaster - his marriage, his small penis, his Ed Hardy clothes, his poor children's self esteem. While I used to think he was "stuck," now I think he and Kate are just A-holes.

Swim in your money, jerk faces. You'll need it to pay for all your kid's therapy.

Steph said...

ita with this. Jon is out of control disrespectful right now. I read an article earlier today about his ed hardy wearing self and there was a quote from someone from ed hardy about how the projected demographic for their clothes was males 16-30...get over yourself and get a life jon... perhaps one with a wife and say, 8 kids?

Solvang Sherrie said...

I've never even watched this show, but seeing their lives unravel as I wait in line for groceries has been pretty bizarre.

And lol jon minus 9...you beat me to it :-)

Katie said...

I don't know where to start. I was laughing so hard at "Jon and Kate's" appearances that I lost my ability to comment.

Jen said...

LOL at this post!

I have no more words b/c everything has been said already. He is just a disgrace!

slhastings said...

I've never seen their show. I only know who these people are from being on EVERY cover of EVERY tabloid.

What a D-bag!!! LOL

Anonymous said...

Shame shame on jon gosselin.
He is acting like a spoiled brat with the poor me's. He needs to get over himself. As in so many marital splits, the woman is putting her kids first and the guy is putting himself first. If the marriage is not working, handle yourselves like adults for the sake of your children. Jon is disgusting. And so are the 20 somethings hanging all over him. Hate to tell you Jon but it is only the money, it is not YOU.