The green eyed monster

My son Jack is going to be a blue monster this year for Halloween. Totally a typical 3-year-old he decided last week that he absolutely had to be a blue monster, and it would take a Halloween miracle to get him into the tiger costume that we were planning on using this year. After hours of googling, phone calls and re-googling, I finally found the poor kid a blue monster costume and he's one happy camper.

Anyways, it got me thinking about what I would be for Halloween this year if I was dressing up (which I am definitely NOT), and sadly I think I'd have to be a green eyed monster. It has been years since I've been really, truly jealous of anyone. Back in college I got jealous when this horrible girl tried to steal my boyfriend, and let's just say that ended with a horrible fake trip and approximately one pint of keg beer being poured all over said girl's head. So, safe to say that I don't handle the whole jealous rage thing all that well.

Lately I find myself lurking on message boards reading stories about writers who have found agents or recently signed huge publishing deals and I am completely consumed by jealousy. I know, I know it's so completely childish, but I just can't seem to stop myself. I read their queries and excerpts from their books and compare them to what we've written, it's like I've turned into the Blair Waldorf of writers. I'm a hot, catty, mess.

I'm working on conquering the monster, really, I am. I just can't make any promises. So...umm...any published or agented authors out there, if you happen to see a shortish girl with a slightly crazed look in her eyes and a little blue monster clamped onto one of her legs hobbling towards you with a full glass of beer, one word of advice: RUN.