So I'm turning 30 in approximately 49 minutes, and do you want to know what I'm doing? Asking virtual magic 8 balls if we're going to get an agent for our book.
This is pathetic. 18-year-old Lisa would be totally humiliated that this is how her soon-to-be-30-year-old self is spending her birthday eve.Hmm...I wonder what else 18-year-old Lisa might say to her 30-year-old counterpart. This calls for some bullets...
- Skinny jeans, really? Have you seen our butt lately?
- So, let me get this straight, you're married to the guy we dated in high-school AND you have 2 kids? Who are you?
- Do you at least have a cool job? I'm sorry, did you just say that you work in human resources? Good god, what have you done to us!
- *GASP* And what the hell happened to our stomach!?
- Whoa, Tara lives in Cleveland and she's got two kids too? Seriously?
- This has got to be some sort of joke. Next you're going to tell me that our little sister, Stacey, is knocked-up and married to Erik, my boyfriend's, excuse me, our husband's best friend. I'm sorry, are you nodding your head? NO! Shut the f*ck up. What the hell is going on here!?
Ooops, sorry about 18-year-old Lisa's potty mouth. She's probably drunk. Thursday nights were big party nights back in the day. Anyways, always fun to be reminded of how lame I am.
And seriously, if by some random twist of fate an agent is reading this, have some sympathy for a girl on her birthday. If nothing else, I'll at least have something cool to report to my 18-year-old self...
4 comments:
HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY Lisa!
I loved hearing what 18-year-old Lisa had to say about what's happening in your life. Please know that I loved 18-year-old Lisa but I LOVE 30-year-old Lisa even more!! You're the best!
Can we get together for lunch? Perhaps take the kiddos to a super fancy place that features table linens and fine china? We could sip on Cosmo's and ignore the fact that we have four screaming children by our sides!
Feliz Cumpleaños Lisa!! (yes, that is the Spanish Happy Birthday song. I too have reached an all time low and am now quoting Dora!)
Happy Birthday, Lisa. I had huge plans for the perfect post, but, of course, they fell short. I had to go to Kinkos to get something scanned, and the guy scanned it as a PDF file and we don't have the editor version on our computer. Needless to say, I am pissed. It was gonna be a damn good post too.
Happy Birthday Lisa!!! Don't worry...30 is the new 20. And really...does anyone look good in skinny jeans? Who the hell thought of making jeans fit like spandex leggings - terrible idea.
This was awesome. Happy Birthday Lisa and have a fantastic time in Vegas!
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