Monday, April 20, 2009

Floating heads and frenemies...

I haven't felt very inspired by celebrity pictures lately. And trust me, to come up with these rhymes, one needs some divine inspiration. Perhaps it's because whenever I go to write a poem, I think back to "Bitch, please" and realize that I'm that girl! Anyways, here are a few pics I've been gathering over the weeks.

Jenni, the black turtleneck is often a good choice, or so I’ve read,
but in this case you look like one sad floating head.

Audrina, what’s your secret? You look different, more sleek.
Head transplant? New eyes? I’ve got it! Different cheeks?

Katie, I know the importance of dress down days. Yoga pants? Highly recommend.
But cuffed jean shorts, furry sandals and a flannel shirt? Not a good look, my friend.

Speidi, I suppose there’s no limit to your self-promoting ways,
I just wish we could get there without seeing butt cheeks, mmmkay?

When I read Gwyneth’s GOOP, I thought, “who is this saboteur?”
After learning it was sticky fingers Ryder, I realized I have better frenemies than her.

These rhymes are exhausting and it’s not even noon,
back to my edits, we’ll meet again soon.


Kimberly Derting said...

Your poems always crack me up. Katie Holmes is a freakin' mess!

sraasch said...

Haha! Too great!

That pic of poor Katie is just sad. I see those sandals EVERYWHERE and can't believe someone would actually buy them, let alone wear them. They make me want to burst into a Pocahontas song.

Shelli said...

i surely thought

First of all - I have gone out looking MUCH worse than Katie!

second - how could you do frenimies and not have Nichols richie and Paris Hilton - Im just sayin! :)

Lisa and Laura said...

What I want to know is how you figured out who Gwynnie's frenenemy was!? I'm so impressed with your detective skills.

And Shelli, the difference between you and Katie is that you're not married to Tom Cruise. I mean, she has a stylist that theoretically picked out that outfit for her. (Says the girl who is wearing grey yoga pants with a hole in the butt)

slhastings said...

I feel so bad for Katie Holmes, er, Cruise. Okay. I really don't feel that bad, but the girl is a MESS.

Gah! What did Winona do to Gwenny-poo?

Lisa and Laura said...

I can't take was listed under Winona's picture on the Us website. Don't be impressed.

Lisa and Laura said...

Ooh, I wonder what Winnie did to Gwynnie. Maybe she let Apple have a twinkie or something. That's total ground for frenemy status.

Little Ms J said...

Love the celeboetry. I'm trying to combine words. Not working? How about Celeb Slam? Um.. I got nothing.

Even with the poor fashion choices I really like Katie Holmes. I think she's acting out.

Lisa and Laura said...

Hmm...acting out against what? Scientology? A husband who's under 5'4?

I'm intrigued.

I find myself feeling sorry for her, trapped in the crazy world of dianetics and Barneys, BUT this was her decision, right? It's not like she was held up by gunpoint and forced to marry Tom Cruise.

Also do you think Suri is Tom's baby? I'm not 100% convinced.

These are the discussions that consume me. I really need to get a life.

KLo said...

I always like seeing pics of celebs that remind me that I am in fact capable of looking better than they do : )

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