Monday, April 6, 2009

It's Monday and I'm feeling mean...

SO slow on every celebrity website. I swear if I see the picture of Gisele in a string bikini holding Tom Brady’s baby one more time, I’m gonna lose it. I’ve decided to take my anger out on unsuspecting, innocent celebrities. This is not very nice. I apologize.

Oh! J Lo, Oh! J Lo, your hammer pants really blow.
You’re a walking, talking unflattering fashion no-no.

Blah, blah, blah, I’m a giant waste of space,
Blah, blah, blah, the fact that girls look up to me is a massive disgrace. (Harsh for a Monday, I know).

Oh how you annoy me J Love with your ghost whispering and guitar signing,
why are you even signing a guitar? Or are you (pretty, pretty please) resigning?

Sorry LC, not a big fan of the black, one-piece bathing suit you decided on today,
no wonder your line was pulled, plus, aren’t you supposed to be writing a book, typing away?

Everything about this pic leaves me ill at ease,
two of them are sisters, and Hef is eating peas!

Sigh, being a celebrity is exhausting, especially with a baby on board,
I wonder if I’ll ever tire of being so adored?
Hey, yeah, like, I know, no he didn’t, OMG,
if I ever have to sit through Hannah Montana anything, just kill me!


Lisa and Laura said...


I heart Mean Monday. I've been feeling pretty nasty today myself. That is until the AT&T U-Verse guy showed up at my doorstep!

So much for my 2-star horoscope day. Astrologists can suck it because as of April 15 we're going to be the proud owners of a DVR system that plays back on every TV, super-duper high-speed internet and more channels than I've ever dreamed of.

So much for our sequel...


slhastings said...

Wow! Remind me never to get on your bad side. LOL

I met J Love. She's actually a doll. But honestly, I've never seen one minute of her show.

I wish Paris (and a few others) would just get LOST. No, not on the show. But LOST.

BTW: My sister is addicted to gofug yourself now.

Rebecca said...

What a great way to smile on a rainy Monday! I saw that pic of Paris on something else and just wanted to throw up in my mouth...

Thanks for the laugh and for putting to words so many of the thoughts I have on these overated celebrities. Ick!

Kimberly Derting said...

I;m not sure which made me feel more uncomfortable, Hef and his "girls" (ew!) or J Lo's pants (double ew!). Sheesh, thanks for the good squirms!! ;)

Lisa and Laura said...

Paris' line was originally intended for the Miley picture, but I just thought that might be a bit much. I mean, you never know who you might offend--although, now that you say J Love is nice, I feel really bad. I'm on a fast track to hell.

Deborah said...

You girls are really funny. I'm really glad I found you. Looking forward to more posts.

Little Ms J said...

The new BCBG catalogue arrived in the mail yesterday and guess what it is chock full of? Hammer pants.

I actually held my hand out and asked my counter, "What happened?"

I have to say, I love the shoes they pair with them, but I'm not walking around like I took a poop in my pants anytime soon. I'll stick to my tights, thankyouverymuch.

Katie said...

Mean Monday. Hilarious!

What is Hef thinking? I had a sick fascination with The girls next door. and now I am sickly curious about this new batch of dumbo girls.

(and I love that you have analyzed what he's eating *giggles)

sraasch said...

Haha, wow...though some of those celebs deserved it...

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